A Hidden Truth (12 page)

When I heard the scraping of chairs and the murmured prayer that followed the meal, I jumped to my feet and carried my dirty plate to the sink. Before I turned around, Karlina was at my side.

Taking hold of her wrist, I pulled her to a far corner of the room. “There is something I forgot to tell you this morning before you went down to the barn.” Watching that none of the other women would draw close and overhear, I told her Berndt would not be coming with us. Karlina frowned and I shook my head. “But that is not all of it. He said Anton should come and help the men cut timber if he is not busy today. Berndt said he should come to the Fuchs' Küche after the noonday meal.”

“But we are going skating.” Karlina wrung her hands together while the other women scurried about the kitchen with a determination that resembled a swarm of worker bees. “You forgot to tell him or me. It was an honest mistake. I'm sure there are more than enough men to help cut timber.” She grinned and clasped my hand. “There's no harm done.”

I sighed with relief. “Will you tell Anton?”

Karlina shrugged. “There's no reason. Berndt will think Vater had chores for Anton to complete. As soon as you finish here, come to the barn and meet us. I have already taken your skates down there.”

A sense of relief washed over me as I trudged through the frozen, snow-dusted grass toward the sheep barn an hour later. Karlina's response had eased my conscience. But when I thought of Berndt, a sense of regret remained. I had truly wanted him by my side today.

Karlina and Anton sat near one of the doors, skates slung across their shoulders. Anton jumped to his feet the minute I entered. He frowned and impatience shone in his eyes. “What took so long?”

A spark of anger flared in my chest, and I returned his frown. “There is much work that goes into preparing meals in the Küche and much that must be cleaned afterward, as well. I do more than sit here with the sheep all day.”

His eyes turned dark. “You think all I do is sit in the barn?”

Karlina stepped between us. “We all work hard, but now we are going to have a few hours of fun. Don't spoil our afternoon with arguing.” She tugged on Anton's sleeve. “Come. Let's go to the pond.”

She shot a pleading look in my direction, and I gave a nod. “You're right.” Overhead the sun shone bright, and all signs of the early morning frost had disappeared. I glanced toward the sky and recalled Berndt's warning. “Berndt said the ice might be weak in places.”

“I will check to see how it looks when we get there, but I think it will be fine.” Anton leaned around Karlina and met my gaze. “I thought Berndt was coming with us. Is he busy baking more bread?” He chuckled.

“What is funny about baking bread? You eat it at every meal and should be thankful there are good bakers in the village.”

Karlina sighed. “Must the two of you argue about everything?”

Anton tipped the brim of his cap. “I am sorry, Dovie. Baking bread is honorable work. I shouldn't have laughed. But you still haven't told me. Where is Berndt?”

I glanced at Karlina. “He had to go and help cut timber this afternoon.”

“Ach! Getting up in the middle of the night to bake bread and then cutting timber all afternoon, there is no rest for him.”

“And no skating,” I said.

The three of us approached an area along one side of the pond where ashes and the remains of burned logs were circled by large rocks and some thick logs. While Karlina and I collected pieces of wood and tossed them into the fire pit, Anton continued toward the pond to examine the ice.

After walking out onto the ice in several places, he trudged toward us and flashed a smile. “It is gut and thick at this end, but I am not so sure once you get closer to the middle. I think we shouldn't go beyond that line of trees.” He pointed to a spot about midway down the length of the pond. He looked at both of us. “You see where I mean.”

“Ja, we can see the row of trees.” Karlina lifted her gloved hand and pointed to the spot. “Over there.”

We strapped on our skates while Anton started the fire. Karlina and I held hands as we made our way onto the ice. It had been many years since I had skated, and I'd never been good at the winter sport.

“It will go better if you glide instead of taking those short, choppy steps.” Karlina showed me by moving her feet in an exaggerated smooth movement.

I wrinkled my nose. “If I thought I could glide without falling, I would glide.”

Anton joined us on the ice and soon turned and began to skate backward. He held out his hands to me. “Hold my hands and try to glide. I won't let you fall.”

I glanced at Karlina, and she gave a nod. “Go ahead. You need to become sure of yourself, and then it will be easy.”

While Anton helped to steady me, Karlina skated in a circle around us and shouted words of encouragement. She applauded when Anton let loose of my hands and I managed to glide for a short distance before returning to my short, jerky steps. Anton immediately grabbed my hands and forced me back to the earlier glide. Though it took a while until I felt more at ease, I took off on my own sometime later.

Karlina and Anton were soon skating side by side, the two of them in perfect symmetry as they created figure eights or turned to skate backward and then forward. Unlike my clunky movements as I continued down the pond, they had an elegance all their own. My gaze shifted and I caught sight of a young man sitting near the fire. I squinted into the bright sunlight. It almost looked like Berndt.

But it couldn't be. He was cutting timber.

Anton skated past me, waving his arm toward the man. He cupped his hands to his mouth. “Berndt! Come and join us. I am glad to see you. Dovie can use your help out here.” Moments later, with expert precision, Anton came to a stop at the edge of the ice.

Soon Karlina skated past me, but when I tried to glide along behind her, I lost my footing and dropped to the ice. After one failed attempt, I gained my footing and returned to my clunky hitch-step style.

I watched Berndt push up from the log. Taking long strides, he walked toward Anton. Shoulders straight and lips sealed in a tight angry line, he strode to the pond's edge. “Is this how you help others in our village?”

Anton smiled. “Ja, I have been helping Dovie all afternoon. She is doing much better with her skating.”

Their voices echoed in the silence of the cold winter afternoon.

“I am not talking about Dovie and her skating. I am talking about cutting firewood to keep our people warm on cold winter days.” His voice cracked with anger. “Instead of working alongside the other men in the village, you are out here having fun with the girls. What kind of man shuns his duty toward the community?”

My stomach clenched and fear gripped my heart. Like a bird learning to fly, I fluttered my arms to maintain my balance and drew close to Karlina. I clutched her arm.

The veins in Anton's neck were stretched taut.

My fear swelled to new heights. I opened my mouth, but the words stuck in my throat. Anton pulled back his arm. I strained to reach him, but my effort failed.

With one swift, decisive motion, he landed a hard fist in Berndt's midsection.

CHAPTER 12

I watched in horror as the two men fell in a heap on the ground. Berndt held a definite advantage since Anton hadn't removed his ice skates. On the other hand, Anton stood a head taller than Berndt and was every bit as muscular. Karlina and I cried for the two of them to stop as Berndt pulled Anton back to his feet. Neither listened to our shouted pleas, so while fists continued to fly, Karlina removed her skates.

With the fearlessness of a mountain lion, Karlina forced her way between the two men. Anton hoisted his fist in the air, but at the sight of Karlina, he dropped his arm.

“Both of you stop!” Karlina's shout cracked through the air like a buggy whip.

Rage contorted their faces as both of them took a backward step. A button from Anton's coat lay on the ground, and a ripped seam in Berndt's jacket would need stitching. Leaning to one side and peering around me, Berndt balled one hand into a fist and extended his arm toward Anton. “I should have given you more of this!”

I took a sidestep to block his view of Anton. “Stop it, Berndt! What are you thinking? I can't believe you would do this.”

He glared at me. “Why are you criticizing me? He threw the first punch. I only protected myself. It's Anton who doesn't know how to conduct himself.”

Karlina stepped around Anton, who had now removed his skates and appeared ready to begin another round of fighting. “Berndt! This isn't Anton's fault. He didn't know about cutting timber this afternoon. Dovie forgot to pass the message to me before I left after breakfast. By the time she told me, it was too late for Anton to join you, so I didn't bother to tell him.”

“You just decided not to tell me?” Anton's eyebrows shot high on his forehead, and disbelief shone in his eyes.

Karlina nodded. “Ja. The men would have already left for the woods, and—”

“Did you decide I could not find my way to the woods?” Once again the vein in Anton's neck tightened like a thick rope.

“Well, they move about, and you're not familiar with East and where the men do their cutting. I'm not certain, either.”

“Well, I'm sure your father could have given me some idea. Now I appear to be lazy and unwilling to help where needed.” He glowered at Berndt. “When word of this gets out, I will never be accepted.”

“And do you think this fighting helps? I doubt the elders would be pleased to hear there were fists flying this afternoon.” She turned toward Berndt. “And who are you to decide what work any man in this village should do? You're not a farm
baas
who sends the men out to work each day.”

My lips quivered, and I fought to hold back tears. “This is my fault. I owe all of you an apology.”

Anton pointed at Berndt. “No. This is his fault. Berndt is the one who came here with his head set for a fight.”

Berndt clenched his fists. “That's not true. I saw Brother George when we came through town with the last load of logs. We talked for a few minutes, and he told me the three of you had come down here skating.” He looked in my direction. “I was worried. I told Dovie the ice might be weak, and I wanted to be sure you were all safe.”

“Ja? So you see we are safe and then you decide to fight with me?” Anton's lips curled in anger.

Karlina and I formed a barrier between the two men. They were acting like schoolboys, each one trying to best the other. “Would you please let me talk?” I said. “If you are still determined to fight once I explain, then I will step out of the way, and you can knock each other senseless.”

My final comment captured their attention, and the two of them silently listened while I explained the mishap. “I now realize we should have told you, Anton. You should have had the right to make your own choice.” I turned toward Berndt. “And you should not have jumped to conclusions without first knowing the truth.” I took a deep breath. “I take full blame for creating the misunderstanding, but I do not take blame for the injuries you inflicted upon each other.” I shook my head. “The two of you must decide how this will end.”

Karlina grasped Anton's arm as she looked back and forth between the two men. “For anyone else to know what has happened here will serve no gut purpose. Would it not be better if the two of you apologized and we all agreed that this was a grave mistake? I, too, am at fault. Not one of us can say we acted in a manner that would please our heavenly Father.”

Anton extended his hand to Berndt. “I am sorry that I hit you. I sometimes think with my fists instead of my head, and it causes me no end of trouble. I hope you will forgive me for my poor behavior and lack of brotherly love.”

Berndt took a tentative step forward and shook Anton's hand. “And I ask that you forgive me for my unkind words. I spoke in anger, knowing that my comments would cause a fight.” He bowed his head toward Karlina and me. “I also ask that both of you forgive me. My jealous nature has ruined your afternoon.”

Karlina's lips curved in a feeble smile. “Then we are all agreed that nothing shall be said to anyone else?”

The four of us bobbed our heads in unanimous agreement. Given our options, we'd made the best decision for all of us. At least that was our hope.

All night I tossed in my bed like a ship pitching in an angry storm. Though I was usually out of bed before the first morning bell, I didn't rise until ten minutes after the second bell had chimed. Even then, I didn't move with any speed, and I was late going downstairs. As I entered the kitchen, Cousin Louise returned inside carrying the oversized bread-laden tray. A whoosh of cold air skittered across the floor before she closed the door. She settled the tray on the worktable and hurried to the stove.

“When I said I wanted you and Berndt to become only casual friends, I did not mean you should quit meeting the bread wagon, Dovie.” Her teeth chattered as she added more wood to the fire.

“I am sorry, Cousin Louise. I will be sure to be on time tomorrow morning.” I had expected her to be pleased that I'd missed seeing Berndt but decided she disliked the cold more than she feared Berndt and me talking to each other. Besides, how much could we talk now that she'd made certain his schedule had changed?

“I need a little help upstairs this afternoon, but then you may do as you like for the remainder of the day. Perhaps you and Karlina can go skating again. She said you fell only one time yesterday. A few more afternoons, and you will be skating as gut as the rest of the young people.”

“Instead, maybe you and I could visit this afternoon. I would enjoy hearing some stories about my mother. You said she was happy here, and it would give me pleasure to hear of her childhood.”

A glimmer of wariness clouded Cousin Louise's eyes. “We will see. I have much work to do. Besides, there is little of interest that I can tell you.”

I poured the coffee beans into the grinder and began to turn the handle. “Anything will interest me. What is it you think I am looking to hear, Cousin Louise?”

“I don't know, child, but my hours with your Mutter were spent playing games, picking grapes, learning to knit and crochet, and memorizing Bible verses and our guide for daily living. You can learn as much about her childhood by observing life in the village as I can tell you.”

“But surely you know what made her happy and the things she liked—things that others might not have enjoyed.”

Cousin Louise shook her head. “We all enjoyed the same things, Dovie. Our lives in the colonies are similar. We took pleasure in our dollhouses and the tiny furniture our grandfathers and fathers made for us. We laughed when we went wading in the pond during the heat of summer.” She wiped her hands on her apron. “You desire to know your mother's innermost thoughts, but only she could have told you those things. And we stopped writing letters a long time ago, when you were still a child.”

The other kitchen workers arrived, and Cousin Louise hurried away to give instructions—and to get away from me. At least that was what I believed. I was sure she could tell me much more about my mother—if only she would.

After the noonday meal, I followed Cousin Louise upstairs and helped dust the parlor while she worked in the bedrooms. I waited and hoped she would mention my mother, but she didn't. Instead, she dismissed me with a cheery smile. “You should go and practice your ice skating.”

I hesitated in the doorway. “Why did you and my mother quit writing to each other?”

“Your Mutter stopped answering my letters.” She picked up the broom and dust rag and walked by me. “I need to finish cleaning.”

I couldn't imagine why my mother would suddenly cease corresponding with her cousin, but to say anything further appeared to be useless. I would bide my time a little longer and continue to hope my father wouldn't send for me. I lifted my coat from the hook, buttoned it tight around my neck, and pulled on my mittens. Perhaps Karlina would join me at the pond. I picked my way down the slope and entered the barn through the smaller door.

“Is anyone in here?” The smell of hay and damp wool permeated the air. I walked a little further into the barn. “Karlina? Anton?”

“Over here, Dovie.” Karlina's voice trailed from the far side of the barn. I walked in that direction but couldn't spot her. I was about to call out again when she stood up. “We're working on Anton's watering invention. Come and see.”

I approached the spot where the two of them were working. “Anton thinks we can manage to bring fresh water into the barn by using his new method.”

“Ja, but first I must get the water to flow properly through the tubing and inside. There is much to figure out.”

I did my best to appear interested and listened while he explained a bit about the process, but when he went to look for another container, I stooped down beside Karlina. “Would you like to go skating with me? I am done with my work, and your Mutter has given her permission.”

Karlina glanced toward Anton. “I promised to help him with this, but I will go tomorrow if you like.”

I stood up and took a backward step. “Maybe I will go and try a little by myself. Are the skates down here?”

Karlina jumped to her feet. “I don't know if that's such a gut idea. Do you think it is smart to go by yourself? You might fall and if you are hurt . . .” Her voice trailed off as if to let me imagine the consequences.

“I don't plan to fall down. If I'm not back by the time the bell rings, you should come and look for me.” Worry glimmered in Karlina's dark eyes and I smiled. “I promise to come by the barn before I return to the house. That way you will know I am safe.” Anton returned with a large tub and placed it on the ground. “And I will expect to see this wonderful watering machine when I return.”

“Ja, well you can expect whatever you want, but it will take more than a few hours to finish my work with this.”

All three sets of ice skates hung on nails pounded into a board near the door. “I'll get the skates and be back in a little while.”

Anton looked up from his drawing. “Don't go beyond the line of trees that I showed you yesterday.”