A Hope Beyond (30 page)
“Oh?” Joseph looked to Lucy for explanation.
“I have a friend, actually the husband of a now deceased friend,” Lucy began. “His name is Blake St. John, and he does indeed reside in Baltimore. He is very well kept, and I believe a great deal of his business is in textiles and sugar.”
“I am familiar with the name and the reputation of the man. But why is it that you bring him to my attention?” he asked Carolina.
“Because he has an infant child,” Carolina explained. “He needs a lady of quality to come and care for the little girl. I thought perhaps you might consider allowing me to apply for the position.”
“You?” Joseph’s tone registered disbelief. “You’re a young woman of privilege and social standing. Do you honestly wish to remove yourself from such a life and take up residence with a total stranger, all in order to become a nursemaid to a child you do not know?”
“I know it sounds strange, Papa, but I do wish you might consider it.” Carolina threw a pleading look to Lucy.
“I assure you, Mr. St. John is from a fine family,” Lucy explained. “However, he is alone in the world, save for his daughter. There is no other relative to come and care for the child, and he wants more than a nursemaid in the person he hires. He wants a young woman with exactly Carolina’s social standing to properly train his daughter. Then, too, he is offering a substantial salary.”
“See there, Papa? I could help out in the midst of the financial struggles.”
“The women of Oakbridge need not hire out to put food on our tables!” His voice rose, but he quickly calmed. “We are well enough off without my daughter needing to take up a position of employment.”
Carolina realized she’d touched a nerve. “Perhaps then I could put my money toward the development of our railroad.”
Joseph eyed her suspiciously. “You desire to leave Oakbridge that badly? Badly enough to risk your reputation? You do realize what people will say. Not only about you, but about the family as well.”
“You’ve always taught me not to fear what people say. My reputation has already suffered greatly in Washington, and we both know why. Even so, I’ve never cared to give much worry to such things, Papa. I’d just as soon put on trousers and bob my hair in order to explore the wilds of the West rather than hostess a gala event.”
“I can’t help but feel I’ve brought this on.” He sounded suddenly tired. “I encouraged your independence and now you are discontent.”
“No, not that so much.” She read the hurt in his expression and wrapped her arm around his waist. “Papa, I need to be away for a while. I can’t bear the way things are. Mama is so difficult these days, and Virginia and Hampton are . . .” She paused and thought better of drawing them into the list of reasons. “I just simply need a change. I feel that I’m stifled here and going nowhere. Even Georgia is enjoying a time of recuperation and growth while in Richmond. Is it so very hard to imagine the same need in me?”
“Of course not. I’ve been heartless to ignore your misery.” Joseph kissed her lightly on the forehead.
“No, you’ve been an excellent father, but you carry too many burdens. Virginia and Hampton are already helping you with Oak-bridge, and rightfully it is their duty. Virginia is the eldest daughter, and her husband should serve at your side in the absence of your own sons. There is really no place for me here, especially now that Lucy is going to Philadelphia.”
“That isn’t true. You will always be needed and wanted here,” Joseph assured her. “You can continue to help me with the bookwork.”
She shook her head. “That is Hampton’s world, and he’s made it clear that I do not belong in it. Try to understand, this isn’t because of anything you’ve done. It’s me. I need this, Papa. I need to sort through my thoughts and decide what kind of future I want. If I go away and work at something different, then perhaps I can know my own mind more rapidly.”
“I suppose Baltimore is not all that far away, especially with the railroad in place.” He seemed to consider the matter for a moment longer, then nodded his consent. “If that is what you wish, then I will allow Lucy to post a letter of introduction and make the suggestion that you would be willing to seek Mr. St. John’s employment.”
“Thank you, Papa. Thank you so much.” Carolina threw herself into his arms and hugged him tightly.
“Lucy?” York called. He appeared in the doorway, holding a heavily bundled Amy. “Are you ready?”
“I suppose I am,” Lucy returned. “Carolina, I will write Mr. St.
John right away.” She leaned over to kiss Carolina and Joseph, then joined her husband. They walked downstairs and outside to the awaiting carriage. York handed the baby to Carolina while he assisted Lucy.
Carolina touched her finger to the sleeping baby’s cheek. “I shall miss you, little one,” she whispered.
York took Amy again and handed her up to Lucy, while Carolina and Joseph huddled together against the cold.
“May God be with you,” Joseph called out.
“And with you,” Lucy and York responded in unison.
As they drove out of sight, Carolina felt the immediate loss of Lucy and Amy’s departure. Looking back at the house, a chill overtook her. There would be no refuge and no one to shelter her from the darts and arrows of Virginia’s wrath and Hampton’s smug assurance of power.
January 1838 came in with a surprise snowstorm and a letter from Blake St. John. The letter was addressed to Joseph and very properly commanded that Mr. St. John would receive Mr. Adams and his daughter on the tenth day of the month at precisely one o’clock.
The letter was her first introduction to Mr. St. John’s demanding, no-nonsense nature. The second confirmation of this came in the stately St. John grounds in Baltimore. Taking her father’s hand to descend the carriage, Carolina stared at the black iron fencing that encircled the yard. An arrangement of shrubbery had been trimmed back to face winter’s wrath, but otherwise the front of the house was void of vegetation or life.
The two-story brick home, located near Federal Hill on the west side of the Baltimore harbor, seemed foreboding and unfriendly. Carolina wondered now at the sanity of offering to care for the child of a total stranger. What did she know of this man or, for that matter, of taking care of children?
She allowed her father to handle the introductions and was rather disturbed when a sour-faced housekeeper told them that Mr. St. John was not in. They were led to a front receiving room and told to wait until his return, but otherwise, Joseph and Carolina were completely ignored. It only added to Carolina’s discomfort.
Trying to still her nerves, Carolina glanced around her. She was impressed by the wealth of imported porcelain and crystal figurines. The furniture, hand carved from the finest mahogany and cherry woods, gave the room warmth in contrast to the bric-a-brac. Supple velvet and brocade upholsteries, all in varying shades of red, furthered the effect of richness. Overhead hung a delicate crystal chandelier suspended by gilded rings of entwined gold. The dozen or so candles were not lit at this time, but Carolina could well imagine the beauty of such a scene.
Time seemed to drag by, and still St. John had not made his appearance. Her father glanced at his watch for a second time and met her questioning glance with a shrug of his shoulders. And still they waited.
“I suppose something has come up,” her father suggested. Indeed, Mr. St. John was over twenty minutes late to the meeting he himself had initiated.
Then, without warning, a commotion could be heard in the front hall and a masculine voice boomed out orders.
“Mrs. Graves, see to it that the child is readied for our visitors, then tell Cook to prepare refreshments.”
“It’s already been seen to, sir,” came the voice of the elderly woman who’d shown Carolina and her father into the sitting room.
“Very good. Ramsey, take these things to my room.”
“Yes, sir.”
Carolina listened, mesmerized by the commanding voice and the evident respect of the people who responded. What had she gotten herself into?
Sliding back the sitting room doors, Blake St. John entered the room without warning.
Carolina gasped at the sight of him. Tall, dark, and willowy, this was the same man who’d rescued her in Washington from Hampton Cabot’s undesired advances. Moreover, it was the very same man she’d intruded upon in the small Baltimore cemetery not quite two years earlier.
“Miss Adams. Mr. Adams,” he said, greeting the risen Joseph with a hearty handshake and casting a perfunctory bow in the direction of the still stunned Carolina. “I am Blake St. John.”
“An honor to meet you, sir,” Joseph replied and took his seat.
“I must say, I have the advantage. I feel as though I know a great deal about both of you.” St. John gave Carolina a knowing glance, but there was no amusement in his eyes.
Carolina felt her cheeks grow hot. She’d never told her father of Hampton’s advances, and now she prayed Mr. St. John would respect her circumstance and refrain from sharing the scene.
As if understanding her thoughts, Blake continued. “Lucy Adams, your daughter-in-law, has written me two very long and detailed missives, and I must say, I am quite surprised and honored that you would consider yourself interested in the position I am offering.” He directed these words to both Joseph and Carolina, but it was Carolina to whom he directed his dark, disturbing gaze.
She dared to look into his ebony eyes, trying to bolster her confidence in his intimidating presence. But looking deep, she felt a foreboding sense of fear. While it was said that the eyes were the windows of the soul, Blake St. John seemed to have positioned walls of darkness where a flicker of understanding might normally have resided. Swallowing hard, Carolina forced herself to smile, hoping Blake’s stern expression would soften. It did not.
“My daughter is intelligent, independent, and industrious,” Joseph said, as though arranging the sale of a slave. “This is her choice to consider, and while I’ll not interfere in it, I want to know what arrangements have been made to ensure her reputation will remain unsoiled.”
Carolina felt a surge of embarrassment as her father touched on the subject of impropriety and how others might perceive her living arrangements should she be taken into the employment of Mr. St. John.
“I can well understand your concern, sir. I will seldom be in residence here. That is one of the reasons for my need. I have a great many business interests, and they take me both abroad and throughout the states. Mrs. Graves is in charge of the household and hasn’t the time for an infant, nor does she have the education to rear a child and teach from books. The remaining staff, my man Ramsey, who will of course accompany me, and the cook, Mrs. Dover, are the only other people who will share residence with your daughter. Of course, she may bring her own maid.”
“I see. So when you are in residence she will clearly be chaperoned by two older women?”
“That is correct. There should never be the occasion for questioning this arrangement. I cannot abide gossip; therefore, I see little reason for your daughter to be subjected to any ridicule or public questioning.” St. John issued this so matter-of-factly that Carolina found herself voicing a question.
“Am I to remain a prisoner within these walls?”
He eyed her as if judging her value, then shrugged. “I suppose I cannot put that demand upon you; however, everything you have need of will be delivered to you upon request.”
“But what of outings for your daughter? What of church on Sunday?”
“I do not hold with religious rhetoric and ceremonial fanfare. The church has afforded me very little comfort in the wake of my wife’s and son’s deaths, and therefore I see little reason to attend their sessions of hypocrisy.”
Carolina was stunned by his attitude toward church. Raised among people who respected the institution of public worship, she found it unthinkable that this man was denouncing all that she held holy.
“Surely you wish for your daughter to be raised to know God?”
St. John narrowed his eyes. “No, I cannot say that I see a value in that.”
“Then I am obviously not the woman you would seek to employ for this job. I am a Christian and I hold the Word of God to be holy.
It tells us there to remember the Sabbath day, and I would emphatically insist on being allowed to do so.”
He seemed to consider this for a moment, then shrugged. “I see no purpose in it, but I won’t forbid it.”
Carolina felt at that moment that no amount of money or promise of independence could make her see St. John’s employment in a favorable light. She was nearly ready to insist on their departure when Mrs. Graves arrived with Victoria St. John.
“Ah, Mrs. Graves.” St. John got to his feet and motioned. “This is my daughter, Victoria.”
Carolina instantly lost her heart. The child was blessed with rosy cherub cheeks and an abundance of dark brown ringlets. With brown-black eyes, Victoria St. John eyed Carolina suspiciously. Mindless of the others, Carolina moved across the room to greet the infant.
“Hello, Victoria,” she cooed and touched the baby ever so lightly on the nose. The tiniest smile formed on Victoria’s lips before she shyly buried her face against the housekeeper.
“She don’t take to strangers,” Mrs. Graves announced, then as if to prove her wrong, Victoria raised her head and babbled at Carolina as though holding a conversation.
Ignoring the housekeeper’s admonishment, Carolina held up her arms to see if the baby would come to her. “You are very pretty, Victoria. Would you like to come see me?”
The baby held off for a moment, then to everyone’s surprise lunged fearlessly from Mrs. Graves’ arms into the awaiting embrace of Carolina.
Murmuring softly to the child, Carolina remembered Maryland. Victoria had the same soft dark ringlets and pudgy baby cheeks. And while her eyes were much darker and more brooding than Mary’s had been, the resemblance was still strong.
Suddenly realizing the silence around her, Carolina glanced up and smiled. “She’s a beautiful child.”
“I think she rather likes you, Carolina,” her father said, chuckling. Turning to St. John he added, “She’s a charming baby, Mr. St. John.”