A Kiss of Color: The Complete 3 Book Collection (26 page)

Though the majority of her things were gone, he could lie down in the bed he used to share with her and still catch the briefest whiff of her scent. He could remember the softness of her body against his and drawing her close to feel her breath against his chest. He remembered how her lips would purse together when she was angry, how she would huff at him and those decadent hips of hers would cock in stubbornness.

How she felt around him when he slid into her.

Lowly, Xavier groaned, trying to quell the raging desire that sprang to life low in his belly. It had only been a couple of months, but it felt like an eternity since he’d held her in his arms. In the time they’d been apart, he’d almost come to hope that the all-encompassing want he held for her could, perhaps, be transferred to another object of his lust.

But there was no one else…and perhaps there never would be.

He could never bring himself to seek out other women – to even go near them. It felt too much like he was betraying her –and all they had stood for together.

He had loved her…
still
loved her…and yet she wouldn’t have his child.
Couldn’t
have his child. Was he so terrible for being destroyed by that?

As the thoughts whirled around and around his head, the low tones of Skype drifted across the house to him and his stomach tightened in apprehension. Sitting up on the bed, he attempted to roll the tension out of his shoulders before taking a deep breath, and forcing thoughts of Helena and the child that would never be to the back of his mind.

When he sat down at the computer, his heart was pounding. He knew that they didn’t deserve to have this power over him – and that giving it to them was as much as letting them win. But Emily had led him to believe that, perhaps, they weren’t as preoccupied with this power anymore…perhaps they wanted to make amends.

Somehow, he found that hard to believe.

Even so, Xavier pressed the accept button. When Garret Thompson’s face appeared before him, he was momentarily rendered speechless. Up until that very moment, he hadn’t been sure that his parents would follow through – and he certainly hadn’t expected to see his father staring at him.

The elder man broke the long silence between them. “Hello, son.”

Xavier remained quiet for a moment more. He wasn’t exactly certain what he should say. “Emily told me you wanted to speak to me.’

He didn’t feel in a giving mood, currently. As marvelously as his professional life was going – pretty much the living embodiment of how he’d defied his parents’ disdain – his personal life was in shambles – and he was pretty certain his father knew it.

“Yes. Well, Xavier…I suppose,” His father hesitated briefly before continuing, as if the words themselves weighed heavily on him. “The first thing I want to say to you is congratulations. I’ve been watching the development of your company for the past few years, and I have to admit…I’m proud of you.”

Xavier jolted inwardly, even as his face was a mask of impassiveness.

Proud of him.

He couldn’t recall ever hearing those words from his parents – not in all of his thirty three years. “You’ve definitely made a name of yourself, despite the mistake we made in turning you away for your choices…and in that, we were at fault.”

Xavier couldn’t help the almost imperceptible widening of his eyes at that particular comment. It was almost as if he were dreaming. His father, Garret Thompson, the man of standing decisions and teaching lessons, was telling him that he had made a mistake.

“Why the sudden apology, Dad?” He inquired mildly, attempting to hide the emotion in his low baritone. “Why now?”

Garret sighed, and for a moment, Xavier believed that he saw true remorse in his father’s eye – something he’d dreamed of his entire life and never been granted the pleasure of actually witnessing.

However, as much as he might have believed that his father was in the mind for making amends, the man’s next words literally turned Xavier’s world upside down. “I need to come to terms with this, Xavier, both for you and your child. My grandchild.”

Xavier’s mouth worked for a moment as a plethora of emotions rolled over him. Regret, anger, nervousness, complete confusion. Exactly how much had Brandy told their parents? How much hadn’t she told them?

Either way, it seemed that his father believed there was going to be a baby. Xavier took a deep breath, trying to regain his composure as he stared his father down, swallowing thickly. “Dad, there’s no baby. She…Helena…” He trailed off, his mouth pulling into a tight line.

Garret took a moment to watch the shift in his son’s facial features, and for a moment, Xavier was acutely aware of the man watching him….judging him? He’d long learned that the best policy was to hide his feelings from his parents. It was a lot easier than trying to explain to them something they didn’t understand.

“Xavier.” Garret’s voice was low, almost soothing, when he spoke again. “You’re going to have a son. The pregnancy wasn’t terminated.”

Xavier stared at the man as if he’d grown an extra head.

What the hell was he talking about? How on
earth
would his father know anything about that, and why would he choose, of all things, a subject like this with which to torture his only son. Lowering his head into a hand, Xavier pressed at the bridge of his nose, massaging the headache that was beginning there.

“Dad…I don’t need this right now.”

“You’re right.” Garret Thompson’s voice still came loud and clear through the speakers, even if Xavier wasn’t looking at him. “You need your son. Just like we need our grandson…and Xavier, she’s going to try to take him from you.”

At those words, the young man’s head jerked up as anger filled his heart. Angry words were on the tip of his tongue the instant before his eyes fell on the image his father held up to the camera. The photo was blurry – obviously taken secretly – but there was no mistaking things. Helena was in the picture, her hands cupped to a round, very pregnant belly.

**

This was…uncomfortable, to say the least.

As proud as she was about the size of her baby, Helena had reached a point – only six months into her pregnancy – when it was hard for her to get around. Getting behind her office desk at work and even sitting in the few classes that required her presence seemed like a chore these days.

Susan assured her that everything was alright – that she was merely carrying a little high and her son was going to be a strong, healthy boy – a notion that almost made everything worth it. The constant pressure on her bladder, the way she waddled around like a massive duck and everyone raced to help her across a room as if they were afraid that she was going to pop at any moment.

And she was only in month six.

Helena tried to detract from her discomfort by talking to the restless child within her. Every night, no matter how exhausted she was from work and studying, she would lay back in bed, stroking a hand over her belly as she whispered to her son. She told him about his father – about how infuriatingly stubborn and amazingly intelligent he was. How he had found her at a time in her life when she might have done something idiotic without him. She murmured lowly as she stroked her belly, letting all the good times she’d had with the man she still loved flow from her lips.

It was somehow comforting, to let herself hear the tales almost as if someone else was telling them. The further her pregnancy advanced, the closer Helena knew she drew to a time when she would have to face Xavier. She herself had been so uncertain about things for so long…Now, she supposed all that mattered was that he got to be a part of the child’s life, which she couldn’t even begin to deny him.

The baby hadn’t even been born yet, and, already, she knew he would be the spitting image of his father: absolutely beautiful.

She often fell asleep with a smile on her face; knowing that, even if she wouldn’t be the best mother, her son would at least have a loving, attentive father.

Her own hang-ups, she’d noticed, had taken a back seat to the needs of her unborn child. It was a phenomena that, like many other changes during pregnancy, Helena found she accepted with little or no question.

A phenomena that, like its predecessors, made her wonder why her mother hadn’t been able to love her like she loved the life budding inside her.

For the next few weeks, Helena carried about her routine as it had come to be for her. She woke early every morning and managed to stay awake, not with the aid of Xavier’s raucous wakeup sex, but with a cup or two of strong coffee. She was careful with her intake, however, as Susan warned her that caffeine might hurt the baby.

Once she was awake enough to get through her day, she made her way to morning classes, which included her surgical trials on Saturday. As well as she’d done with her first few months, she now found herself sitting back and observing every other week, as her belly prevented her more and more from actually working. Helena used the time to absorb more and more information, and as she’d always been an excellent student, she was soon passing tests with her eyes closed.

Susan more and more let her tend to the patients that she could, taking time to relax in her office and pretty much giving Helena the run of things. Her added confidence was enough to give Helena the strength she needed to answer curious children’s questions about when her own baby was going to be born.

Their eager faces and expectant grins made her remember exactly why she wanted to be a pediatrician – and reminded her that she would soon have her own tiny tangle of arms and legs to deal with.

To care for.

She began to devour books on pregnancy and parenthood whenever she had a spare moment, taking Susan’s suggestions and several more that she found at the local library. As she slid into her seventh month of pregnancy, Brandy’s calls to her phone took on a fever pitch. Where the woman had previously called once a week, now her attempts to contact Helena came daily.

Helena thought of blocking her number, but couldn’t bring herself to do it. Brandy only wanted information, but the dark-skinned woman was worried that with that information would come the confrontation with Xavier that she had been dreading. She still had time, she told herself. Time to figure out exactly how she could tell him…
exactly
how she could explain…

“You alright, Helena?”

The young woman bit back a groan as she realized that she was going to have to deal with Elliot’s advances for the second time that day.

God, how many weeks had it been since he’d first asked her to go out with him? It seemed like an eternity. Ever since then, the man had been continually trying to take her on dates. Whether he suggested dinner, a movie, or simply preparing for exams together, it seemed that she could do little to deter him from ‘getting to know her’.

Perhaps if the man weren’t so inherently creepy, Helena would have allowed herself to go out with him – just once. It had been five months since she’d seen Xavier- other than the snippets of him she caught on TV – and part of her wondered if it wasn’t time for her to start looking to her future.

To think about dating other men.

To do so while pregnant, however? That was harder to contemplate – and if Elliot hadn’t been asking her so voraciously, Helena wouldn’t even have considered it. When she closed her eyes at night, she still dreamed of being snuggled up to Xavier’s pale, muscular form, her head nestled warmly in the crook of his neck and shoulder.

No…she was far from ready…and if Elliot had given her enough room to explain such a thing to him, she might have.

“I’m fine, Elliot.” Her tone was slightly short as she struggled to find the easiest way of getting rid of him without hurting his feelings. “Absolutely fine. Aren’t you supposed to be with Bobby and his parents in room nine?”

The immense man shrugged, his eyes turning remorseful. “Susan took over. She says that she thinks Bobby deserves a particularly delicate touch that I may not be able to provide…so I got booted out here.”

To her exasperation, he took a seat beside her behind the desk, his smile hopeful. “So, you know, a great action flick just came out recently. Maybe you’d like to check it out with me?”

Christ. When would this man learn that no meant no? Helena tried to swallow her irritation as she turned away from the screen. The words that scrolled through her head were diplomatic – but those that issued from her mouth were slightly less so. “Elliot, look. I know you’re trying to be nice to me, and I appreciate it, I really do. But I’m…not ready for this. I’m seven months pregnant with another man’s baby, and my main concentrations right now are impending motherhood, and my degree. I can’t really be derailed on either of those, OK?”

For a moment, the man merely stared at her. His green eyes changed imperceptibly –became harder, and she grew cold, deep in the pit of her stomach. Elliot extended his hand to place firmly over Helena’s on the desk and the young woman stiffened. “Helena,” When he spoke, his tone was low enough – firm enough- to send fingers of ice creeping down her spine. “You know you’re safe with me. I would never,
ever
hurt you.” His fingers curled over hers, tight to the point where the tips began to tingle as the feeling leeched out of them.

Helena exhaled a shuddering breath. “Elliot...” She tried slowly, wondering where on earth Susan and Miranda were. “You’re hurting me now, Elliot.”

Two minutes of eternity passed as Elliot glared at her, his eyes hard. Helena may or may not have stopped breathing as she waited with baited breath for the man to do exactly what he promised he wouldn’t.

Then, all at once, his expression changed. His easy smile was back, his eyes warm, and he released her hand as if he’d never taken hold of it. “Sorry, Helena. I didn’t mean it. I’m just…worried about you.”

Yeah.

She was beginning to be worried about herself too.

***