A Laird for Christmas (14 page)

She startled at the thought. David was always so safe. She did feel safe with him tonight, yet she also felt a new awareness growing between them, something that had never been there in her youth. She set her lantern on the edge of the blanket opposite his before she accepted his hand and sat down on the blanket beside him. She arranged her own cloak to cover her legs.

The night was clear and cold. Jane inhaled slowly then let the air slide from her lungs, creating a wreath of mist to hang about her momentarily before vanishing. Above them the stars sparkled like a million jewels in the sky. “Why did we come out here for our time alone?”

He cast an ironic glance over his shoulder. “To be alone.” He shifted the cloth covering the basket and withdrew a chunky loaf of bread, a wedge of golden cheese, a small wooden platter bearing sliced, roasted pheasant, and two dried apples. “Your other suitors are always too much at hand.”

Jane smiled. “A moonlight meal?” she asked, once again returning her attention to her suitor.

“I wanted to give you an experience you would remember,” he said, offering her a pewter plate and a two-pronged fork, before withdrawing a flask
from his basket, then pouring her a cup of mead. She could smell the sweet honeyed scent as he passed her the flagon. “Have you ever had a supper for two under the stars?”

She took a sip of the wine. “Never.”

“Good.” He poured himself a glass of mead, then started serving their meal. “This meal is just the beginning.”

“It is good to have you here, David. It seems like years since you have been to Bellhaven.” It had been many years. David and his father used to come to the castle often. Then several years ago, they just stopped coming. No explanation was given. Her own father never mentioned the Buchanans again. It was as if they had ceased to exist.

“It has been a long time,” David said.

Jane picked at the wedge of cheese David had offered her. “Was there something that happened to keep you and your father away?” Jane asked, suddenly curious as to why he had vanished from her life so suddenly.

He frowned, thinking. “I am not certain, and looking back now, I cannot imagine why I ever allowed that to happen.” He popped a piece of meat into his mouth, chewed thoughtfully, then continued. “I only remember that last night vaguely. My father was upset about something your father did or said. It was not long after that that my father turned ill. I got involved in his care and in taking over the estate.”

David’s words faded and Jane knew his thoughts had turned to his own father’s death. “Death is a part of our life. It is inevitable for us all.”

“Yes, but a violent death is not natural,” he said softly. “Would you like to talk about your father?”

“Nothing I say will bring him or Jacob back. I have proof now of Father’s death. Jacob is still a mystery.” She stared down at her plate, her hunger no longer present. “I miss them. I want them back. But wishing it so will not make it happen.” She drew a deep breath then released a rush of mist to coil with the chill night air. She brought her hands to her chest, covering her heart. “I would know if they were dead. I would feel it here. And I do not, but with
the proof of my father’s death…” She straightened. “I have to accept what has happened, and what I must do now.”

“Marry one of us?”

“Yes.”

“As much as I hate to admit this, there is not a man here who would not make you a fine husband, Jane. I have studied my competition. They all appear to be fond of you, and all are steady enough to provide you the support you will need as mistress of Bellhaven.”

“Even Bryce?” she asked with a chuckle.

“Even Bryce,” David said with amusement in his tone. “Bryce’s venom is merely his way of showing his disappointment not to be next in the line of succession.” David’s face grew serious once more. “I want the man you choose to be me, but I want you to make a decision that will make you happy for the rest of your days.”

“Thank you, David. It means a lot to hear you say that.”

His smile returned. “By the heavens,” he groaned. “When will I ever learn? Now I will have to work twice as hard to win your hand from my competitors. Perhaps I should get started. This night, I want to take you somewhere you have never been before.”

“Where?” Jane asked, suddenly curious about what he had planned for her.

“To the heavens.” He turned toward the linen-wrapped package he had carried with him. Spreading the fabric apart, he revealed a long cut of leather and two clear, spherical objects. He placed the large glass piece at the far end of the leather, smaller glass closest to him, then rolled both into a cone with the leather. Placing the narrow end up to his eye, he turned his gaze toward the sky. “It is a perfect night for stargazing, clear and bright. Have you ever seen the stars up close before?”

David turned and offered the strange contraption to her. “Place this—it is called a telescope—against your eye. Close the other one and focus your gaze on the stars.”

As he extinguished the lanterns, she did as instructed. With only the light of the moon to cast a silvery light over the night, Jane looked up and
gasped. The stars appeared so close, as if she could reach out and touch them. “Is this magic?”

David laughed. “It is a new kind of magic.”

She turned back to David. His face was alive. His eyes sparkled like the stars she had just seen up close. Never had she seen him so animated. Whatever this new magic was, it certainly agreed with him. “How does it work?”

“Basically, a telescope is a long tube with magnifying lenses at both ends. The end you put to your eye has two lenses that curve outward. These lenses magnify the image. At the far end of the telescope are inwardly curved lenses which draw in the light. The distance between these two sets of lenses can be changed to focus the image and make it clear.”

His smile shifted to a more pensive look. “There is one flaw, however. As this light passes through the tube and hits the lens nearest your eye, the image is magnified and appears close, but it also appears upside down. This is because the light entering the telescope bends the image. I have not figured out how to correct that just yet. But I will.”

“I am certain you will.” Jane put the telescope back to her eye and looked once again at the night sky. The usual pinpoints of light became more jagged, with light spiking out from several points. Even if the stars were upside down, they were magnificent. “The stars are so beautiful.”

Before she could register his presence, David slipped behind her. His chest pressed against her back and his legs bracketed hers. His hands moved to cover her own. “Let me guide you,” he said softly against her ear. He shifted her hands to the west. “Over on the western horizon at this time of year, you can see the planet Venus.”

Jane felt the warmth of David’s strong hands against her cool flesh. She breathed in his spicy scent, trying to focus on Venus while her thoughts shifted to the purpose for this time alone. David was handsome, reliable, a good protector, and curious about the world around him. He would make anyone a fine husband. This evening she had seen him smile more than she had ever remembered. He seemed happy, content in the thought of sharing a life with her. But was he the
one
?

She cared for David, but could she grow to love him? Would he help her forget her first kiss, her first love, and his ultimate betrayal? Jane frowned, forcing the thought away.

David
. Tonight was about David.

The planet before her eyes was bigger than anything she had seen in the night sky before. The edges of the planet seemed so sharp and almost unreal. “It seems so odd that these stars and planets are here every night and that anyone who looks up can see them, yet they appear so unique and special and intimate through the lenses of your telescope.”

“Tonight, the heavens are for you.” He shifted her hands once again to the north.

A million stars appeared, all clustered together. Again her breath escaped her in a rush. “My father told me about the Milky Way.”

“You recognize it. Wonderful. It was in 1610, through the use of one of the first telescopes, that Galileo Galilei discovered the first proof that the Milky Way was made up of countless stars.”

David moved her hands again toward the eastern horizon. A large globe appeared. It seemed close enough for Jane to reach up and touch.

“Is that the moon that appears so big?”

“Yes, the moon is the brightest object in the night sky but gives off no light of its own. Instead, it reflects light from the sun.”

“What are the shadows I see?” Jane asked, fascinated with this new look at the moon.

“Those are not shadows, but craters. Researchers think they were volcanic,” he replied patiently.

“It is spectacular to the naked eye, but magnified—” Jane could not find the words to describe what she saw. Warmth filled her chest as she continued to study the heavenly bodies. She was happy, truly happy, when only a few hours ago she had wondered if she would ever know that emotion again.

Impulsively, she turned and stretched behind her to plant a kiss on David’s cheek. “I will remember this evening every time I look at the stars.”

He moved in front of her, his eyes searching hers. He lifted his hand and ran his finger down her jaw. The gentleness of his touch sent a chill though her. Would he kiss her? Did she want him to? She was not certain as he stared at her with those dark, hungry eyes.

Then he ran the pad of his thumb over her lips and she shivered at the sensation. The air between them was rife with tension. The force of it took her breath and made her both weak and strong at the same moment.

Just when she was sure he would kiss her, he lifted the telescope from her fingers and leaned back. The heat in his gaze shifted to pain. “I want to kiss you, Jane. But I will not. If you choose me as your husband, I will bare my soul to you. Not before.”

Her heart pounded as he stood and started packing the dishes and his telescope away. Their time alone was over and David had appeared to enjoy himself tonight, until the very end. In the last moments it had become obvious that he wanted her, yet she held all the power in this adventure.

She had the power to unleash each of her suitors’ passions or to deny them. It was more power than she had ever had in her life. Her father and brother had ruled over her. She had been allowed to care for the castle, but not really make the decisions. Not like she would now.

In that moment, she suddenly realized it was important for her to choose a mate who would allow her to keep that power—make her choices, live by her decisions, and to do what was right for her people.

“David.” She turned to him, her hands clasped before her. She had to be bold and ask the question she needed answered. “If I were to marry you, would I be allowed to discuss decisions made about the castle and its people with you?”

His brows drew together as he studied her. “A man’s role is to be the leader and protector of his family. A woman’s place is to oversee the household and the children. Are we to take on different roles than those?”

Jane tensed at his response. She had hoped to have more of the freedoms she experienced now, but she realized David, or any of her other suitors, would not want to be minimized in his role as laird of Bellhaven. “Can I ask you another question?”

“Always.”

“Does it bother you to be one of six men vying for my hand?”

David clung to the picnic basket, his tension and his response obvious without words. “To be honest, yes. But every one of us knew what we were getting ourselves into when we accepted your aunt’s invitation. For one of us, the hardship will be worthwhile. For the others,” he shrugged, “we will find our way eventually.”

“But—”

“Trust yourself and what your aunt has put before you, Jane. In one of us you will find what you need.”

It was her turn to smile. “Thank you, David, for that reassurance, and for this wonderful night.” She slipped her arm through his. “Shall we join the others?”

“Only because we must,” he said with a chuckle. He gathered the supplies and the unlit lantern. With only the light of the night sky to guide them, they joined the others to head back into the safety of the castle walls.

Bellhaven Castle
. Just looking at the tall, imposing towers and the pinkish-gray stone brought a feeling of love and contentment to fill her chest. She would do anything for Bellhaven.

Even marry one of these men, she finally realized. Jane proceeded through the inner bailey to the keep—the core of her home. In order to keep the castle, she only needed
one
husband.

One.

Later that night, unable to sleep, David wandered the hallways of the keep. He cursed himself with every step he took. He should have kissed Jane. Never had he felt the burning of desire as strongly as he had tonight.

He hated feeling vulnerable. Hated that he wanted her.

David shook his head. No, he had done the right thing, avoiding that kiss. He could not have taken her lips then forgotten about her later. Once he took a wife, it would be forever.

David clenched his jaw when he realized where his feet had taken him—just outside Jane’s chamber door. He pressed his hand against the wood and splayed his fingers. Closing his eyes he could imagine Jane sitting atop her bed, could once again see that turmoil in her eyes.

She hated this game as much as he did. She had a kind and gentle soul, and playing one man against the other was not for her. She was far too level-headed for that.

Fire pounded through his blood as he continued to imagine Jane on the opposite side of the door. He could almost feel her pain, her indecision. She was usually strong, so capable. He had never met a woman to match her.

“I choose you,”
he had imagined her saying to him tonight.

He would give anything to hear those words, to have her look at him with desire in her eyes, to want him more than any of the others. He held back a groan as his body tightened. His cheek burned where she had kissed him.

He clenched his hands at his sides. Right now all he wanted to do was kick open her door and kiss her until she melted in his arms. To have her touch him, hold him, welcome him. But it was not going to happen that way. He sensed Jane holding herself back tonight. She was uncertain where her heart lay.