A LaLa Land Addiction (20 page)

Naomi was stunned to silence. Noah had never spoken to her that way. This was a side of him that she had never seen.

“How about I just leave
your
crib then?” she said sarcastically. “You and your little crackhead girlfriend over there can do whatever you want.”

Naomi stormed out, slamming the door so hard that it rocked the frame. Noah exhaled and rubbed the top of his head. His life felt like it had turned completely upside down.

Messiah stepped toward him. “Don't worry, fam. I'll go after her and get her to cool down. You know she a hothead,” Messiah said. “Who is this girl, though, my g?”

“She's a friend. Somebody I used to know,” Noah answered sadly as he watched the nurse work on Bleu. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he sniffed away his emotion.

“Damn, must be a good friend,” Messiah said, knowing there was more to the story. With that he left and Noah focused on Bleu.

“Is she going to be okay?” he asked.

The nurse stood. “Will she wake up from this? Yes, but she has a bad drug addiction,” the nurse informed him. “The tracks in her arms say heroin, but the corroded bone up her nostrils says cocaine. The darkness of her lips says crack cocaine. She's a full-blown addict. I don't even think she has a preference as long as it gets her high. That's the most dangerous type of substance abuser. She needs to be in rehab. I've done all I can. She has an IV to replenish her fluids. After she rests a bit, she will come out of it. Then maybe you can clean her up and convince her to get help.” Noah nodded, but he couldn't respond. Words snuck past the lump in his throat. He let the nurse out and as soon as she was gone he slid to the floor. He rested his forearms on his knees and allowed himself to cry. Bleu had always been his weakness and today he feared that she might break him.

He sat by her side for hours watching the rise and fall of her chest.

“Hmm,” she groaned as she blinked her eyes open slowly.

“Relax, B,” Noah said as he helped her sit up.

She looked at him in shock. “Where am I? How did I get here?” she said more to herself than to him as she squinted in disbelief. She reached out to touch his face and gasped when her hands actually felt him. She had thought she was hallucinating. “You're here.”

“I'm here,” he confirmed as he touched her hand and then kissed it. “What did you do to yourself, Bleu?”

Bleu's lip trembled as she replied, “It just got so hard.”

Noah pulled her into his arms and hugged her so tightly that she began to sob. “It's okay, B. Everything is going to be fine. I'm going to help you,” he whispered. He rocked her back and forth. She felt so comforted in that moment. So loved. So valued. It was the first time in a long time that she felt like she meant something to someone. They stayed like that for an hour, just holding on to each other with him whispering reassuring things in her ear. He was giving her hope, letting her know that she was worth saving.

“I've done so many bad things. If I tell you, you're going to throw me out. You won't want me here,” she whispered.

“I swear I'm not going to give up on you, B. Not ever. I don't give a fuck about nothing that you've done,” Noah promised.

He kissed the top of her head and said, “There is one thing that might make me kick you out.”

She pulled back, her eyes filled with worry. “Please, Noah,” she said.

“Your ass stink, B. I'm going to need you to wash your ass if you gon' be in my crib,” he said with a sly smile.

She hit him in the chest before giving him an embarrassed laugh. She knew that she was a mess. She couldn't remember the last time that water had touched her body.

“Come on,” Noah said. “Let me clean you up and get you something to eat.” He slowly pulled the IV out of her arm and grabbed a Band-Aid off the table, fixing her up. He held out his hand for her and as she stood she wobbled slightly.

“My legs are so weak,” she said as she reached out one hand to catch her balance on his shoulder.

Noah scooped her into his arms and carried her up the stairs to the master bathroom. She felt safe with him, and although she was embarrassed, she didn't feel judged. He set her on her feet as he bent over to run her a bath in the Jacuzzi-sized tub. He grabbed some of Naomi's soap and poured it into the water, then added a few drops of peppermint oil.

“You can take your time, and when you're done I'll have food waiting for you, a'ight?” Noah asked.

She nodded. “Thank you.”

“Don't thank me, Bleu. You don't never got to thank me for looking out for you,” Noah responded. “Towels are in the linen closet.”

Bleu waited until the door was closed before she shed her clothes. She opened the linen closet, but her heart skipped a beat when she noticed the prescription pills that sat inside. She reached for them and then pulled her hand back as if she were about to touch a hot stove. Her pulse picked up and she closed her eyes as temptation tortured her.
Don't fuck this up,
she thought. Bleu couldn't help herself. In her heart, she wanted to do the right thing but still she grabbed the pills off the shelf and read the label.
Vicodin.
She would have to take a lot to feel a comparable high to that of the heavy stuff she was used to. Bleu poured the entire bottle out into her hands and stuffed them down her throat. She dipped her head under the sink and washed them down. She climbed into the water and let the bubbles soothe her skin as she leaned her head back, waiting for the pills to take effect.

Noah knocked at the door. “Yo, you a'ight in there?” he shouted. “It's been almost an hour. I ordered Chinese. It's been here for twenty minutes. It's going to be cold by the time you get out.”

Noah frowned when Bleu didn't respond, and he reached for the doorknob. “Bleu! Unlock the door.” She didn't answer and a pit formed in his stomach. He knocked harder. “Open up, B.”

When she didn't answer he rammed his shoulder into the door, knocking it down. “Bleu!” he shouted as he saw her slumped in the bathtub, her nose barely above the water.

He noticed the pill bottle on the floor. “No, no, no, no, no,” he uttered as his heart dropped. He instantly pulled her from the water. He didn't know if she was trying kill herself or if she was just that desperate to get high, but he was terrified of this version of Bleu. This wasn't her. He didn't know what demons she was battling that made her want to be out of her mind, but he wasn't letting her give up. Her body was like noodles in his arms as he put his back against the tub and held her head back against his shoulder as he stuck his fingers down her throat. Vomit spewed everywhere as she spat the pills up and awoke in a choking fit.

“What did you do?” Noah asked.

“I'm sorry!” she cried. “I'm so sorry. I can't stop. I need help,” she admitted.

Noah wiped his hand over his face, overwhelmed by the complexity of this disease. He knew there was more to it than just lack of self-control. He had been there during the years when her mother and father were strung out. Shit, Noah still saw Sienna running around the hood, selling her soul just to get mercy from the local D-boys. These demons were generational for Bleu and it killed him to see her like this. He never thought it would be her.

“Okay, okay,” he whispered as he helped her back into the tub. He ran her a new bath, but this time he washed her body, being gentle with her as she hugged her knees, crying the entire time. He washed her hair, conditioned it, cleaned the dirt from beneath her fingernails. When he got to her chest he noticed the scar from her shooting. He traced it with his finger briefly before rinsing her body.

He was so focused on her that he didn't hear Naomi enter.

“Really?” she said.

He turned toward Naomi as Bleu tried to cover her breasts with her hands.

“It's not what it looks like. Just give me a minute to pull her out of the tub. We'll talk in a few,” Noah said assertively.

Naomi frowned as she looked at the vomit and noticed the smell. Clearly there was nothing sexual going on, but she still didn't like the fact that Bleu was in her bathroom, using her shit, and having her man catering to her every whim. Naomi stalked out of the bathroom and Noah pulled Bleu out of the tub.

“I'm sorry. I'm causing problems for you,” she said.

“You're not a problem; don't worry about it,” Noah stated as he put her in his bed. He dried her, lotioned her entire body, and then pulled some of Naomi's clothes out of the drawers. “You're smaller than her, but this is all I've got for now. I'll get you some clothes tomorrow,” he said. “You hungry?”

Bleu nodded.

“Stay here while I clean up the mess in the bathroom and then I'll bring you up some food.”

Noah tucked her in and then went into the bathroom, his stomach turning at the sight. He cleaned up the mess, disinfecting it all and tossing her old clothes. By the time he emerged from the bathroom Bleu was asleep, restlessly, but at least her eyes were closed.

He took the trash downstairs and, sure enough, Naomi was waiting for him. She sat, livid, her anger written all over her face as one eyebrow rose, demanding answers without even speaking.

“It's Bleu,” Noah said.

“That's Bleu?” Naomi said with a frown. “That crackhead-ass bitch—”

“Watch your mouth,” Noah said. It was the second time he had to warn her. “She needs to stay here for a while. I'm going to help her out. Get her on her feet. Get her clean.”

Naomi looked like she smelled something that stunk. “What? That includes you bathing this bitch too?” Naomi was steaming and Noah knew that this had taken her by surprise. It had thrown him for a loop as well, but there was no way he was throwing Bleu back in the streets.

“I don't trust anybody when it comes to her. This is something that I just got to do. She's my—”

“Your life. Yeah, I heard,” Naomi interrupted.

“Don't be fucking selfish,” Noah said, raising his voice. “I keep you laced; everybody knows you're my woman. You don't want for nothing. You don't ever hear about me out here tricking off on none of these bitches. I'm all about you, all the time. I'm just telling you I need to focus on a friend for a little while. Not everything is about you. Just play the position I put you in and have my back on this. Stop with the jealousy shit. She's my best friend; before all of this street shit she was there. She just needs some help.”

Naomi was amazed at how quickly he had turned the tables. He had her feeling bad, like the scum of the earth. “Fine,” she said, conceding. “Help your friend.” She tried to walk past him, but he grabbed her and kissed her softly on the lips.

“Thank you for understanding,” he said.

She cut her eyes at him. “Hmm-hmm,” she said. “I'm going back to the apartment for a few days.”

“You ain't got to leave,” he stated.

“Just call me when your company is gone and when shit is back to normal,” Naomi snapped.

“You don't want to put me in a position where I have to choose between you and her,” Noah stated firmly.

Naomi scoffed, “Why? Because you won't choose me?” His silence was answer enough and she stormed toward the door. “Fuck you, Noah!”

He didn't go after her. He knew the best thing would be to let her cool down before he tried to remedy the situation. He was conflicted. On the one hand, he felt strongly for Naomi. She had held him down when the rest of the world had forgotten about him. Some of his roughest days when he was locked away had been made brighter by her. She saw something in him when he had nothing to offer her. The belief of a woman in a man was worth more than gold, and while he wouldn't say he was in love with her, he did care a great deal for her. Bleu, on the other hand, well … Bleu was Bleu. His Bleu. She was the girl he had spent his childhood years laughing with. The same girl who knew his mama, whom he had walked to school with, whom he had crushed on when she went from looking like a flat-chested tomboy to a blossoming young woman. She was the girl he defended when the entire hood laughed at her for her parents' mistakes. She was the girl who mourned on his shoulder when her father died and the girl whom the entire city knew Noah would fight for whenever she needed him. They had discussed their hopes and dreams, talking about what they would do when they made it out of the hood. Bleu was his soul mate in every sense of the word. Despite the fact that they had never been together in a romantic way, she was the woman he envisioned standing beneath a white veil when he finally decided to man up and choose a wife. He loved her with every fiber of his being. Their friendship was the most valuable thing he had in his life. From the most innocent aspect to the most complex, Bleu was his very best friend. He would go to the ends of the earth for her. He had proved that before when he had done a bid for her. He would prove it again now by digging her out of this grave that she had put herself in. Even without any romantic dealings with Bleu, he was still connected to her. She was family. Their friendship transcended labels. It was deep and there were depths of it that just couldn't be explained. Like the ocean, it was so massive that it drowned you.

Noah walked back to the bedroom. He climbed on top of the covers and she moved her head to his chest as he watched her sleep. He was afraid to close his eyes, in fear that when he awoke she would be gone. So he stayed up all night, listening to the cadence of her breaths until the sun came and nature woke her up.

“You've been up all night?” she asked as she yawned and looked up at him.

“Yeah. Been thinking. Seeing you got me fucked up,” he admitted as she sat up and sat Indian-style across from him. “Tell me how it came to this, B?”

“I honestly don't know how I let it get this bad. It just started as me taking a couple pills to stay up and study for finals. Then it was meth, then coke, then…” She stopped speaking, too embarrassed to say it aloud.