A Little Surprise for the Boss (Mills & Boon Desire) (12 page)

“Lord, Terri, I would’ve done anything to trade places with him. If it were possible right now, I’d change things so that I’d be the one lying in that grave and Steve would be here with you.”

Terri’s silence said more than any words she could have spoken. When she finally looked up at him, the coldness in her eyes told Buck he’d already lost her.

“I understand what happened,” she said, “and I don’t hold you responsible. What I don’t understand is why you waited all these years to tell me.”

It was a tough question, and the answer didn’t come easily. “The very last thing Steve asked was that I take care of you. I promised him I’d do that. When I got home and saw how you were still hurting, I knew you were going to need my help. But I was afraid that if I told you the truth, you wouldn’t want anything to do with me.”

Her gaze hardened. “You should have given me that choice. Instead you treated me like a child.”

“I know better now. I didn’t then—and as time passed, it got harder and harder to bring it up. But I was wrong. You deserved to know. Forgive me, Terri. I tried to make it up to you over the years—”

“Make it up to me?” Her fist clenched on the tabletop. “So you took me under your wing and gave me a job—out of
guilt
?” She rose, trembling. “You bought me new tires, bought flowers for my grandma and took me to the gala out of
guilt
? Did you sleep with me out of guilt, too?”

“Terri, I didn’t mean—” he protested, but she cut him off.

“Never mind. Your excuses don’t matter anymore. I’ve given you ten years of my life. That’s enough. Take me home. I need to pack.”

Buck knew better than to argue as he drove to her house. He’d gambled and he’d lost. Another word from him would only set loose more bottled-up anger. But as they pulled up to her house there was one thing he needed to ask.

“What should I tell Quinn?”

She looked directly at him for the first time since they’d left his house. Only then did Buck see the welling tears in her eyes. “Tell her I’m sorry, and that I’ll be in touch. Maybe…” She paused, as if flustered. “Oh, never mind. Have a nice life, Buck.”

Turning away, she climbed out of the vehicle. Still wearing his sweats and her muddy black pumps, she stalked into the house.

* * *

As the Hummer roared away from the house, Terri locked the door behind her, slid to the floor and buried her face against her knees. Her shoulders shook with sobs.

It was over. Really over. And after last night’s lovemaking, letting go hurt even worse than she’d feared it would. She’d hoped, at least, for a sweet and tender farewell. But Buck’s revelation over breakfast had made that impossible.

She could forgive him for letting Steve take his place on patrol—in fact, she already had. Steve had chosen to volunteer, and his death was a consequence of the war, a cruel twist of fate that hadn’t been Buck’s fault. Harder to forgive was the way he’d hidden the truth from her, keeping the secret for years, as if she were a child, incapable of understanding. But worst of all was the fact that any kindness he’d shown her had been motivated more by guilt and pity than by genuine caring. As for love…

But she wouldn’t even go there. Buck had never even pretended to love her, and unrequited love was a one-way ticket to misery.

Time to move on
. Terri pushed to her feet, stepped out of her mud-stained pumps and padded into the bathroom to splash her face with water. Then she stripped off the sweats Buck had lent her, folded them neatly and put on her usual Sunday wear—jeans, sneakers and a faded T-shirt. The clean khaki uniforms she wore to work, with the Bucket List logo on the shirts, hung in her closet. Seized by an impulse, she yanked them off their hangers and tossed them on the bed. Then she folded each piece and stacked them next to the sweats. When Buck came to work Monday morning, he would find them on his desk, along with her ring of keys.

Her job interview was scheduled for Monday at ten thirty. She planned to make it a two-day trip, leaving here before noon and staying the night in Park City. Her overnight case should be enough to hold everything she needed. Packing wouldn’t take long. Neither would dropping off the keys and uniforms in Buck’s office. But her most important task would take more time and thought. She needed to write a letter—the most heart-wrenching letter she’d ever written.

Switching on her computer, she sat down at her desk, brought up the word processor and began to type.

Dear Quinn…

* * *

Buck had dreaded Monday morning, driving to work with Quinn, unlocking the door, knowing Terri wouldn’t be there. He’d entertained the secret hope that he’d walk in and find her at her desk, her smile enough to tell him she’d changed her mind. But he should’ve known it wasn’t to be. Stepping into his office, seeing the folded clothes and the keys she’d left for him slammed reality hard in his face.

Quinn came dragging in behind him. He’d managed to tell her last night that Terri was leaving. She wasn’t taking the news well. When he handed her the envelope with her name written on the outside, she looked at it for a moment, then laid it on the desk and turned away.

“Aren’t you going to open it?” he asked her.

She shook her head. “If you want to read it, you can open it yourself.”

“You don’t mind?” Maybe if he knew what the letter said, he could talk her into reading it. He knew she’d feel betrayed by Terri’s leaving. But she wouldn’t feel that way forever.

She shrugged. “Go ahead.”

Buck tore open the envelope and unfolded the letter.

Dear Quinn,

I’m sorry I had to leave without saying goodbye. I should have told you sooner that I was planning to go, but I didn’t want to spoil our good times together. In the end, things happened so fast that I ran out of time.

An ache tightened around Buck’s heart. He’d had ten years to fall in love with Terri—ten years to win her and make her his. But he’d come to his senses too late. He, too, had run out of time. He read to the end of the letter.

I stayed in Porter Hollow to be with my grandmother. Now that she’s gone, it’s time for me to try new things in new places. By the time you read this, I’ll be in Park City, negotiating a job there.

Thank you again, and please thank Ann Marie, too, for helping me get ready for the party. The gown and my hair looked beautiful. You’ll be upset with me, I know, for leaving like this, but in time I hope you’ll understand and forgive me, and that we’ll always be friends. You have my phone number and email. I’m really hoping to hear from you.

Love always,

Terri

Buck turned to his daughter. “You should read this,” he said. “At least it might help you understand why she went away.”

Quinn took the letter, crumpled it in her small fist and flung it in the wastepaper basket.

* * *

Terri bought the home pregnancy test kit on the way to Park City, in a town where nobody knew her. She planned to wait until after the job interview to take the test. If she
was
pregnant, then she’d need maternity leave in a matter of months, which might be a deal breaker. She wanted to be as calm and as truthful as possible and, since she wouldn’t know for sure, she’d be less tempted to lie.

But she should’ve known her penchant for honesty would trip her up. When the manager, a breezy, athletic woman in her forties, confirmed her interest in hiring her on the spot, Terri knew she had to tell the truth.

“There’s a chance I may be pregnant,” she said, her stomach fluttering as she spoke the word for the first time. “I’m not sure yet, but I wouldn’t feel right about keeping it from you.”

The woman lifted off her glasses and rubbed the bridge of her nose. “We should be able to work around that,” she said. “Assuming you are pregnant and plan to keep the baby, I’m guessing you’d be due in the spring. That’s our slow time, between the ski season and the summer events. Taking a couple of months off shouldn’t be a problem, especially if you’re willing to do some work from home. Just so you’ll know, in the ten years I’ve worked here, I’ve had two babies myself.” She replaced her glasses and smiled. “There’s a vacant apartment in the complex where I live. We’d like you to start this weekend if you can manage it. Is that okay, or do you need more time?”

Thirty minutes later, feeling a bit giddy, Terri walked out of the resort headquarters with her new employment contract in her purse. She’d done it. She’d spread her wings and, so far, managed to stay airborne. It had happened so fast, her head was still spinning.

Her motel room was in nearby Heber City, outside the pricey ski district. She’d planned to start home this afternoon, but now that she had a job, it made more sense to stay an extra day, check out the area, and either reserve the apartment or find something else.

Her thoughts churned as she drove. It was time she summoned the courage to take the pregnancy test. If the result was negative, she’d be free to move on with her life. If it was positive, if she was really carrying Buck’s child—

But she’d deal with that once she knew for sure. If there really was to be a baby, two things were already settled in her mind. First, she would keep it, love it, raise it. And second, she wouldn’t tell Buck. The man had done enough for her out of guilt. The last thing she wanted was a repeat of his miserable shotgun marriage to Diane.

The pregnancy test was still in her purse. Pulling up to the motel, she parked the Jeep and went into her room. In the bathroom, with shaking hands, she opened the box and followed the instructions, then waited, her eyes glued to the indicator.

She counted her heartbeats as the seconds passed. Slowly the sign emerged—a small but unmistakable plus.

She was going to be a mother.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Park City,
Utah
December, six months later

Hi, Terri,

I’m glad we’re still Facebook friends. I missed you too much to stay mad forever. But I really wish I could see you. I’m here in Sedona with Mom, but I’ll be spending Christmas vacation with Dad in Porter Hollow. Maybe you can come and visit us. Or we could come see you in Park City. It would be fun to play in the snow. Do you know how to ski yet? Maybe you could teach me. We could have so much fun. Think about it.

XOXOXOX,

Quinn

T
erri sighed as she reread Quinn’s message. When Buck’s daughter had contacted her from Sedona in September, she’d been happy about it. She truly loved Quinn and knew that her leaving had hurt the girl. Their Facebook exchanges had been harmless enough while Quinn was with her mother. But now Quinn would be with Buck, in Porter Hollow. And she’d be pushing her father to come to Park City for a visit.

Rising from her chair, Terri reached back and massaged the strain from her lower back. The baby—a healthy little boy—wasn’t due till March. But she was already showing—not too much under a jacket or coat. But in her regular clothes, there was no hiding the bump. She wasn’t huge yet, but she looked unmistakably pregnant. There was no way she could let Quinn or Buck see her. Having Buck find out she was pregnant would turn her whole carefully restructured life upside down. She couldn’t let it happen. She needed to nip Quinn’s plans in the bud—now.

Terri sat down again. Her fingers quivered on the keys as she wrote her reply.

Dear Quinn,

I’d love to see you, but the Christmas holiday season is our busiest time here in Park City. If you and your dad were to come, I wouldn’t have any time to be with you, and you’d be lucky to find a place to stay. With so much going on here, I can’t get away to visit Porter Hollow. Maybe we can make it some other time.

Hugs,

Terri

She clicked the enter key with a deep sense of misgiving. Everything she’d written was true, except the one big lie of omission. If she wanted to keep her baby a secret, there could be no
some other time.
Not ever.

If she’d had the foresight to think this out, she might have gone somewhere farther away where she could have cut off all communication with her past. But there were practicalities to consider. The severance payments she’d elected to have paid out monthly were going directly to her bank account, which meant that Buck had to have some idea where she was. And some issues with the sale of her grandmother’s property were still being negotiated so the Realtor needed to be in touch with her, as well.

But it struck her, in a sudden flash of insight, that there was more than practicality involved here. There was Quinn—sweet, blameless Quinn who loved her; Quinn who, if the secret was kept, would never know she had a baby brother. And there was her unborn son who would never know his father and his wonderful big sister.

The truth hit her so hard that she gasped out loud.

What gave her the right to play with these innocent children’s lives—to deny them the joy and support of knowing each other—for the sake of her own pride?

Terri buried her face in her hands. What had she done? How could she fix this mess without wrecking Buck’s life and her own?

* * *

It was coming up on five o’clock when Evie Redfeather dropped Quinn off at Buck’s office. Alerted by a phone call, Buck was waiting outside when Evie’s Buick pulled up to the curb. When the door opened, Quinn came flying out and hurtled into his arms. He grabbed her tight, swinging off her feet.

“Hey, you’re getting tall!” he exclaimed, setting her down and heading for the open truck to get her suitcase.

“I know. I’m the tallest girl in my class. What’re we going to do while I’m here?”

Buck waved his thanks to Evie as she pulled away and headed home. “What do you say we talk about it over pizza at Giovanni’s?” he asked, hefting her suitcase and taking her hand. He’d learned some lessons about being a father last summer. Those lessons were paying off. It surprised and delighted him how much closer he and his daughter had grown.

“Can we have hot fudge sundaes afterward?” she asked, matching his stride.

“Sure.” Buck remembered last summer when Terri had gone for pizza with them. The empty spot her departure had left still ached. He’d hoped to hear from her, but she hadn’t called or emailed even once. He could only respect her choice and hope she was doing all right.

Even in December, the weather in Porter Hollow was mild enough for their light jackets. Stowing the suitcase in the Hummer, they walked the short distance to the restaurant. The pretty blonde waitress showed them to a booth. Her body language made it clear that she was interested. But Buck’s mind was elsewhere, especially now, with his daughter along.

“So, what’s new?” he asked her as they faced each other across the red-checked tablecloth.

“Oh, a few things.” Quinn sipped her root beer.

“Like what?”

“Mom’s got a boyfriend. He’s kind of a jerk, but he’s got lots of money. I think they’re getting married.”

“You’re kidding.” Diane had had plenty of men in her life since the end of their marriage, but none who could talk her into giving up that fat alimony check he put in her account every month.

“His family owns some factories in China. They make underwear or car-seat covers or something like that. Anyway, they’ve got this big house in Switzerland—that’s where they keep all their money. He said something about being neighbors to George Clooney.”

A dark weight formed in the pit of Buck’s stomach. What would he do if Diane married and wanted to take their daughter out of the country, maybe put her in some snooty Swiss boarding school? Could he fight it legally and win?

“Mom wanted me to ask you something,” Quinn said.

“Okay.” Buck braced himself for bad news.

“If she gets married, she wants to know if I could live with you during the school year and go to school here in Porter Hollow. Then I could visit her in the summer, like I visit you now.”

Buck began to breathe again. “I’d like that a lot.” He hesitated. “Would you?”

“You bet I would.” She grinned and held up her hand for a high five.

Soon after that their pizza arrived. Quinn wolfed down two slices, then suddenly gave her father a serious look. “What if you get married, too?” she asked. “Would you ship me off to Switzerland to be with Mom?”

“No way. We’d all be family together, or it wouldn’t happen. But I don’t think you have much to worry about. Do you see any women lining up to marry me?”

She stirred the ice in her root beer. “I always kind of hoped you’d marry Terri.”

“To tell you the truth, I was kind of hoping the same thing. But it wasn’t in the cards.”

“Did you ask her?” Quinn demanded.

Buck shook his head. “I never got that far. She was mad at me when she left. I’m guessing she still is. I haven’t had so much as a Tweet from her.”

Quinn swirled her ice a moment before she met his gaze. “She’s not mad at me, Dad. We’ve been emailing back and forth since this fall, when I went back to Mom’s.”

Buck’s pulse skipped. “How is she? Is she all right?”

“She’s fine. She likes her new job. She’s asked me about you a couple of times.”

“Asked what?”

“Oh, just stuff like whether you were okay, and had you found anybody to take her job. I told her you still just had Bob and the temps.”

“Do you think she wants to come back?”

“I asked her. She said no.”

“Has she met anybody? Is she dating?” Buck could’ve smacked the side of his own head for asking. If the answer was yes, did he really want to know?

“Not anybody that she’s said. But she’d tell stuff like that to a grown-up girlfriend, not to me.” Quinn gave him a thoughtful look. “You really like her, don’t you, Dad?”

“I guess I do.” Buck fished for his credit card to pay the check. “But I also guess it doesn’t make much difference whether I like her or not. Terri’s moved on. She’s not coming back here.”

Quinn dawdled, finishing the last of her root beer. She seemed to be holding something back.

“We could go see her,” she said. “I already asked her if we could come, and she said she was too busy. But if we just showed up, she’d have to see us, wouldn’t she?”

Buck signed the check and pocketed his card. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” he said. “What if Terri doesn’t want to see us?”

“Then we could just have some fun by ourselves and go home. At least we’d know she was all right.”

“Why wouldn’t she be all right?” Buck shrugged into his leather jacket. Quinn had always been a perceptive child, an old soul, as her mother called her. Maybe her instincts were telling her something. “Do you have some reason to be worried about Terri?” he asked.

Quinn walked ahead of him through the door, waiting outside for him to catch up. “I just wonder why she wouldn’t want to see me. Terri’s my friend. She likes me. What if something’s wrong?”

“Maybe I’m the one she doesn’t want to see.”

Quinn had no reply for that. But as they went for sundaes and drove home, Buck couldn’t stop turning the thought over in his mind. He’d tried to tell himself that letting Terri move on was the fairest thing he could do for her. But letting her go had been like ripping away a vital part of himself.

So help him, he still loved her. And now that Quinn had planted the worry in his mind, Buck knew he wouldn’t rest until he saw Terri and made sure she was safe, happy and where she wanted to be.

* * *

Terri assembled the packets she’d prepared for the quarterly board of directors meeting and placed them around the table in the conference room. Her mind checked off the mental list she’d made—snacks, chilled water and sodas, napkins, pens, notepads, whiteboard markers and erasers, a computer to run the presentation on the wall-mounted TV—everything a roomful of important people would need for three hours of debate and decision making.

The meeting wouldn’t start till after lunch, but there was nothing like being prepared ahead of time. Ginetta, her boss, would be running the meeting. With the setup complete, Terri’s job was done. Good thing, because she was getting tired, and the baby was kicking like a little ninja.

“Everything looks great.” Ginetta surveyed the room, then gave Terri a concerned glance. “You look like you could use a rest. Why don’t you go in the break room and stretch out on the couch? It’ll do you a world of good.”

“Thanks, but it’s almost noon. I won’t get much rest in there, with people coming in to eat their lunch. Anyway, I promised myself I’d write up that order for cleaning supplies and send it out. As long as I can sit at my desk, I’ll be fine.”

“At least go get yourself a nice lunch.” Ginetta slipped off her glasses and rubbed the bridge of her nose. “You’ve been here six months. You’re doing a fine job, but all I’ve seen you do is work. You come in early, stay till all hours… You need to get out and make some friends. Have some fun.”

“Maybe later. For now, I have the baby to think of.” Terri crossed the common area to her small office and sat down at her desk. It felt good to take the weight off her feet.

Ginetta followed her to stand by the desk. “Forgive me if this is too personal, Terri. I’m just concerned. Will you have anybody to help you when the baby comes? What about your family?”

“No family. I’m the last one.”

“What about your baby’s father? Is he in the picture?”

Terri shook her head. “He doesn’t know.”

“Married?” She paused, catching herself. “I’m sorry, that’s none of my business.”

“No, he’s not married. It’s…complicated.”

Ginetta touched her shoulder. “Well, let me know if there’s anything I can do to help—and you really do need to take better care of yourself.”

As her boss walked out of the office, Terri rested her eyes a moment, then turned to her computer and brought up the ordering form for the resort’s janitorial supplies. She was lucky to have a boss as understanding as Ginetta. But until she decided how to resolve her baby’s future, the fewer people she involved in her problems, the better.

She was partway down the form when her cell phone rang. She reached into her purse, grabbed the phone and, without taking time to check the ID, answered the call.

“Hi, Terri! This is Quinn!” The girlish voice sounded happy, excited. At least Terri could surmise that nothing was wrong.

“Hi, Quinn. What’s up?” Terri kept her tone light and cheerful.

“I’m here in Park City, with Dad. Evie flew us in the jet. We wanted to surprise you. Wait a sec, I’ll put Dad on.”

Terri’s heart sank like a drowning butterfly. She’d made the decision to break her news when the time was right—maybe with a well-thought-out phone call or email to Buck. But now was too soon. She needed to think things through. What could she say to Buck? And how could she explain to a nine-year-old girl how she’d come to be pregnant with her father’s baby? Quinn was precocious, but surely the child wasn’t ready to hear that.

“Hello, Terri.” Buck’s voice went through her with the hot pain of memory. “How’re you doing?”

“Fine.” Terri struggled to keep her voice from shaking. “I wish you’d let me know you were coming. I’m having an extremely busy day. I won’t even have time to—”

“Just have lunch with us. If that’s all you’ve got time for, we’ll understand.”

Terri thought fast, scrambling for an exit strategy. Now that they were here, she knew there was no way Quinn and Buck would leave without seeing her, at least for lunch. But if she kept her coat on while she was with them, maybe they wouldn’t notice the change in her body.

“I guess I could manage that,” she said. “On the second floor of the hotel across the street from my office, there’s an outdoor restaurant with a view of the slopes. It’s a nice day, and Quinn might enjoy watching the skiers while we eat. There’s a stairway going up from the street. If you’re close by, you can’t miss it. How soon can you meet me there?”

“We’re on Main Street now,” Buck said. “I can see the stairway to the restaurant from here. We’ll be there in a few minutes.”