A Love of Her Own (30 page)

“All right. I can play a short while before I’ll have to go check on Anne. She was fast asleep earlier, but I’ll have to listen for her in case she wakes.” Natalie took a seat and they set the pieces up while Miss Margaret looked on.

April was acutely aware of Wes’s nearness. She held tightly to her cup and saucer, afraid that her trembling hands would betray her. What had happened to her this last week? Hadn’t she sworn that another man would not own her heart?

Wes leaned down and whispered in April’s ear, startling her. “Would you care to go for a walk, April? We can discuss your idea on how to cheer up Billy.”

April was caught off guard and looked up at him in surprise. “I’d like that very much.” She rose from her chair and caught Natalie’s deflated face when she looked up from the chessboard. “I’m sorry,” April mouthed.

“Better grab your wrap. It’s chilly.” Wes strode past Louise and Mark and followed April into the foyer, where she donned her woolen cape. Wes wore his brown duster and cowboy hat. He placed his hand on the small of her back when she walked through the door to the porch. She felt a tingle down her spine and took a quick breath.

The glittering stars filled the velvety black sky like a million diamond fragments, and the moon shone brightly. It was the perfect night for an intimate stroll. Laughter and music could be heard from the saloon down the road on the other side. April drew her cape together against autumn’s chill as she and Wes walked toward the quieter streets of town. Except for a passing wagon or the few people out walking to various destinations, all was quiet, punctuated only by Wes’s spurs jingling with each step on the sidewalk.

After a few minutes, Wes broke the silence. “I wanted to tell you how proud I was of how you handled the robbery situation and the stagecoach, April. But I’m not surprised at all. You’re strong as well as a good horsewoman.” He paused and looked down at her face. The moon lit one side of Wes’s face, making his light-colored hair appear as blonde as hers. His square jawline was clearly outlined, and April controlled the urge to reach up and touch it.

“Everyone is making it a big deal, Wes, but honestly, I just reacted.” She laughed. “Maybe I’m better under pressure.”

“Nah, don’t think so. Just look when I pressured you the other day with that kiss. I’m afraid all I did was aggravate you, and that was not my intent, I assure you,” he said hoarsely.

April felt a twinge of regret. “Wes, I . . . I really like you, a whole lot. But what good would it do to be more than friends? You already know that I intend to go back to Colorado. There are some big differences about us too.”

“Meaning, you’re from a wealthy family and I’m just a would-be rancher and horse trainer?”

She directed her gaze to his, and their eyes held. Her heart sped up. “That’s partly true, but I don’t want to hurt your feelings.” April moistened her lips, and his eyes narrowed. “Wes, don’t you see that Natalie’s set her heart on you?”

Wes leaned against a hitching rail and folded his arms across his chest. “I did notice, but I don’t feel that way about her. Anyway, I want to talk about you. Are you telling me I don’t even have a chance with you because you’re looking for a rich man?” His face hardened.

“That’s not what I meant at all, so don’t get your spurs all tangled up. I never said that I was looking for anyone,” April said. “There would have to be lots of compromises for both of us to deal with.”

Wes let his arms drop to his sides. “So you have given this some thought, or you wouldn’t have said that. We can work those things out.” He gave her an endearing half smile that charmed her, and she saw a dimple in one cheek that she hadn’t noticed before.

“I’m very neat and like things simple but nice,” April reminded him.

“I’m a clutter bug, but I would try harder.”

“I want a home large enough to have friends or family stay over.” April waved her hands.

“I can add on to the ranch house.”

“My father won’t like you.”

“I’ll respect your father.”

“I want to train horses too.”

“We’ll be partners.”

“I can’t cook.”

“I can.”

“I’m spoiled.”

“I’ll rein you in.”

“But I love Colorado.”

“You’ll grow to love Montana and we can visit Colorado.” Wes shifted on his feet.

“Hmm . . . that sounds like a proposal to me.” April licked her lips, then pressed her hands into the folds of her cape.

Wes reached for her hands and pulled her to him. He smelled clean but manly as she felt the taut muscles in his arms. She liked the feel of them wrapped around her, and her gaze flew to his lips, which were curled in a sensuous smile. “I’d like to work on that, April,” he said huskily.

April’s heart beat wildly against her ribcage. Tenderly he reached out, stroked her cheek, and moved a strand of hair from her face, and she heard his breath quicken. His gaze bore through her, and she tilted her face up to his with a clear invitation. That was all he needed. He tightened his grip around her and leaned down to press her upturned lips in a tender, deep kiss.

April’s eyes drifted shut, enjoying the moment. His kiss overwhelmed her very being. Nothing else seemed to matter, and she melted into him. Wes shuddered. He hesitated, then repeated the kiss, stroking her shoulders and back until she felt a deep longing she thought she’d put away forever after Luke. He folded her into his arms, and she rested against the soft flannel of his shirt and closed her eyes. Wes kissed the top of her head and then rested his check against it, expelling a deep sigh.

After what seemed a very long time, April pulled herself from his embrace, though she longed to stay there forever. “Wes . . . there’s just one other thing that’s been bothering me.”

“What is it?” Wes’s brow furrowed with a questioning look as she stepped back.

April took a deep breath to calm her ignited feelings for him. “That day I saw you going to the saloon—”

“Don’t worry about that,” he said with a wave of his hand.

“I’m not so naive that I don’t know what goes on there.” She pressed on. “That’s another difference between us. It’s one that I just won’t tolerate from any man.”

He looked as though he’d been slapped in the face, and April was sorry for that, but she had to tell him what that meant to her. She’d already loved one man who’d been in love with another woman, and she wouldn’t let it happen again.

“April, that was only—”

April held up her hand. “Please don’t deny that you frequent there, Wes. I’ve heard other people say so.”

“Don’t say that.” Wes took a step toward her, but she backed away. “You would listen to gossip before asking me?” His temper flared, but he waited, shoulders stiff.

“Well, I know what I saw that day. You
did
go into that saloon, and I can’t help but wonder why you haven’t married before now,” April scoffed.

“What are you saying?” He implored her with his eyes.

April’s throat closed, and she was unable to speak.

Wes looked at her with hurt in his eyes. “Think what you will.” He clamped his jaw shut, then wheeled around on his heel with spurs jangling and headed down the street, leaving April rooted to the spot.

“Well, I never,” she sputtered and stomped her foot. “The saloon’s still open, you know,” April yelled at him, but he never stopped. She watched as he strode back to where he’d left Dakota, shoulders slumped, head down. The sight made her sad, and her anger melted. She lifted her skirts to hurry after him, but by then it was too late. He had disappeared into the dark night.

22

Miss Margaret was the only one in the parlor by the time April returned to the boardinghouse. She sat by the fire dozing, her fingers curled loosely around her Bible in her lap and her mouth slack. She looked so old tonight, and April felt a tug in her heart for the older lady. April started to tiptoe past the doorway, but Miss Margaret stirred.

“Is that you, April?”

April really didn’t want to stop and talk right now, but to be respectful, she paused at the doorway. “I didn’t want to disturb you. Where is everyone?”

Miss Margaret motioned for her to come in. “Come warm yourself by the fire,” she said, pulling herself up. “Louise and Mark picked up all the dishes and they’re still in the kitchen. Beth has gone to bed, and I think Natalie went to her room.” She frowned. “Natalie seemed perturbed when you left, and I have a good idea why.”

April plodded over to the fireplace and stood with her back to the low-burning embers not offering much heat now. “It’s Wes, isn’t it?”

“I’m afraid it is,” Miss Margaret answered. She pushed her wire spectacles up on the bridge of her nose. “I don’t want to see her hurt, but it’s as plain as the nose on your face that Wes has no real interest other than friendship with her, and never has. But that hasn’t stopped her from caring for him.”

April plopped down in the chair opposite Miss Margaret. “Well, he might be interested now.” She stared into the fire as if the answer to her dilemma could be found there.

Miss Margaret leaned forward, her watery eyes big. “You don’t say? What happened on your walk?”

“I hurt Wes’s feelings again.” April’s voice cracked, but she would not cry. Even now she could remember how wonderful it had felt to be in his embrace.

“How so? It’s plain to me that he cares for you, April.”

April felt sick to her stomach. “Our walk was wonderful until I asked him about the time I saw him go into the saloon. I think he took it all wrong, and I’m afraid I didn’t give him a chance to explain. Then he clammed up and wouldn’t say another word and left.” April felt her eyes sting behind her lids. “But Miss Margaret, it won’t work between us. We both have terrible tempers. I’m afraid that we’ll never agree on anything. We’re as different as day and night.” April bit her bottom lip and looked at Miss Margaret, who shook her head and made a “tsk tsk” sound with her tongue.

“That’s not true and you know it. I think you’re afraid to let someone love you, but I’m not entirely sure why.”

The truth of her words pierced April. She shrugged. “I was once very much in love with a man. His name was Luke, and we were engaged. I made all the wedding plans. Trouble was, he loved someone else and had a hard time telling me the truth. He let me go on believing a lie. Then I felt like a fool and was embarrassed to show my face in Steamboat Springs.” She sighed, letting her shoulders sag, and stared at her hands in her lap. “Josh was in love with the same woman Luke loved—Crystal. After Luke finally told me how he felt, it took me two years to get over him, but I finally realized that I wouldn’t want someone who doesn’t love me totally and completely.”

Margaret leaned in toward April, intent on catching every word. Tears spilled out and ran down April’s cheeks, and Margaret’s heart ached along with April’s.

“Wes makes me feel like a woman whose heart is eager to love, but tonight when I asked him about going to the saloon, he told me that it wasn’t anything to worry about. We argued. I don’t want to share him or feel the pain that I did with Luke. Can you understand?” April sniffed.

Margaret got up and stood next to April, then placed an arm around her shoulders and handed her a handkerchief. She waited quietly as April shed her tears. Crying was good for the soul sometimes, and maybe April had never truly let out the pain of losing Luke. A few minutes later, she lifted her head and wiped her nose. Margaret chose her words carefully. “Dear one, love is always a risk, and sometimes there is a high price to pay for true love. Luke was probably never meant to be the one for you. We frequently make bad choices when it comes to life’s biggest decisions, based on how we think things should be, and when our expectations fail, we think somehow it’s our fault. But you must not blame yourself. Lean on the Lord’s unfailing love for guidance. It was unfortunate that Luke couldn’t admit his true feelings sooner, but don’t let that keep you from trusting again.”

Margaret returned to her chair, and April straightened. April’s pretty eyes were red-rimmed, and her face reflected her pain.

“I see you much stronger than you see yourself,” Margaret said. “You were the gal who rode into town looking like a man and confronted Wes. You kicked up the dust like a cowboy heading into the stockyards when you arrived for Josh’s wedding. And though you were used to the finest things in life, you decided to stay with us instead of moving to the Stockton Hotel.” Margaret chuckled, and April forced a smile. “You’re also the sweet gal who’s kindhearted to Billy and Jane. When people laughed at you behind your back, you shrugged it off. You brought my daughter Louise out of her shell, and I’m so grateful to you for that. You stayed calm in a difficult circumstance and brought Morgan, Lenora, and the bank’s money home safe and sound. That’s something to be proud of, April. I don’t think of you the same way I did when I first met you at the wedding. You’re becoming more tenderhearted in spite of yourself,” she said with a little chortle.

“You can see all that?” April’s eyes widened in disbelief.

“I certainly can. You don’t give yourself much credit, but that’s okay. I suggest that you talk to Wes. Give him time to think and then go to him. Unless I’m a doddering old woman, he’ll come around. His pride was wounded. But most of all, give him a chance to explain. I have a feeling you’ll be surprised at the answer.”

April blinked at her. “I guess I was accusatory at the very least. I’ll think about what you said.”

“Why don’t you and Sassy take a ride over to Josh’s ranch in the morning? Andy and Nellie will be happy to see you and show you around before Josh and Juliana return. It’ll take your mind off things, and the ride will do you a world of good.” Margaret rose and laid her Bible on the table next to her chair. “Let’s go up to bed now, shall we?”

“I just remembered. I have a gift for Natalie.” April’s face brightened. “You do? See, you’re already thinking outside yourself.” Margaret smiled and thought Josh would be very pleased at the new April when he returned. Margaret’s prayers were being answered. She’d never had a doubt that they would.