A Love of Her Own (31 page)

The moon lit the trail back to the Rusty Spur. Dakota knew the way, and Wes let him poke along and stop for a drink from the stream. The moon’s silvery light glittered across the water, which rushed over the rocks, its soothing sound peaceful on this cool, autumn night. He was in no hurry to return to his lonely house. Maybe he should get a dog. One just like Shebe. She was a friendly dog. At least a dog would be someone to come home to and sleep near his feet on a cold Montana night.

April’s face was uppermost in his mind, and he tried to push it aside. She was right. They
were
different, but the difference was that he was willing to test out his love for her. He would risk it because he was sure he loved her. He sighed and admitted that he was smitten with her. Her very presence, her feistiness, her long legs in her jeans, that silky blonde hair, and those luscious eyes made him go weak in the knees. The way she walked and talked and softened in his arms . . .

Oh, Lord, help me. She doesn’t want me. I’m not good enough for
her. Maybe I’m not good enough for any woman, or I’d be married
by now. I’ve been talking to You now for a while, and I guess I don’t
see Your answer for me. I don’t want to make her unhappy, but I
can’t give her everything she has in Colorado. I’m in the dust now,
completely discouraged. Please revive me with Your Word.

He decided he’d just back off and let April go back home. He’d put her totally out of his mind except as a sweet memory he could pull out from time to time, like he did his mother’s cedar chest.

April hurried to her room to get the dress for Natalie. Everything always made more sense to her after talking with Miss Margaret. She was usually right about everything. April thought about her own mother and missed her. She hoped she was having a wonderful time on the anniversary trip and could hardly wait to see her again. The thought made her stop short. Since when had she thought about her mother that way? Usually it was her dad she was dying to talk to.

Since you started talking to Me and Miss Margaret.

April felt a strange tingle go down her back, but it was true. She was beginning to see her mother in a completely different light now.

She picked up the package in her room, rapped on Natalie’s door, and heard the padding of feet crossing the floor. The door opened, and Natalie stood there in her nightgown, her long dark hair in a plait down her back and a book in one hand.

“What do you want, April?” Natalie’s tone was curt. “I’m busy reading.”

“I can see that. What book do you have there?”

Natalie gave her a cool look. “If you must know, it’s
Little
Women
.”

April stood in the doorway and wondered if Natalie would ask her in. Apparently not. “That’s a wonderful book. Mind if I come in?” This wasn’t going to be easy, she realized.

Natalie shrugged. “I guess.” She stepped aside to let April in.

“Natalie, I’m really sorry if your feelings have been hurt where Wes is concerned. Wes and I took a walk tonight, that’s all.”

Natalie took a seat on her bed, tucking one bare foot under her, and gestured for April to have a seat. “What makes you think I care? It’s none of my business what you do.” She placed her book to the side.

“I don’t want to hurt your feelings because you’re my friend, but I need to be honest with you. I do care about Wes. That’s no lie. I think he cares for me too, but I don’t see a future for us. I know that you like him—”

“Not anymore. It’s obvious to me now that he was only being a friend to me, nothing more. How could I have been so blind?” Natalie plucked at a thread on the blanket.

“Natalie, you weren’t blind, you just saw what you wanted to see. Sometimes we do that when we don’t have control over another person, hoping that the feeling is mutual.” April reached out and touched Natalie’s hand. “I’m truly sorry, but let’s just say I have a little experience with loving someone who didn’t love me in return. I don’t want the same thing to happen to you.”

“I know it’s not your fault, really. I guess he wanted to be friends and I misread that. I shouldn’t have snapped at you. I’m sorry.”

“There is no need to say you’re sorry. Believe me, I do understand.” April handed her the brown paper package. “Here, I bought something for you.”

Natalie took the package. “What’s this? A peace offering?”

April bit her tongue to keep from snapping back. The old April would have, regardless of Natalie’s feelings. “No, give me a little credit. I’d already bought this before I knew you would be upset with me. Open it.”

Natalie untied the string and ripped the paper away, revealing the sage green dress. “Oh, April! It’s that dress I wanted,” she exclaimed, blinking away tears. “You shouldn’t have done this. It know it cost a small fortune!” Natalie jumped off the bed and held the dress up to her body.

“Call it an early birthday gift. I know you have one coming up in a few weeks, but I’ll be back in Colorado by then, I’m sure.” April slipped off the bed. “You could turn any man’s head in that dress. It suits you.”

“You think so?” Natalie twirled around, her eyes shining with hope. “Of course, I have to find an eligible man to flirt with first.” She giggled.

“You will. Don’t worry. Anyone as pretty as you and as nice . . . Well, the right one hasn’t come along yet. But he will. Just wait on the Lord, Natalie.”

Natalie gave her a serious look. “Sounds like you’ve been talking to Mother.”

“I have. Talking to her has helped me so much. She’s been a great encourager to me. You have a precious mother, and that has made me miss my own.”

“Yes, Louise and I are very blessed. But I’m blessed with your friendship too. Are you sure you won’t stay, April?”

April shook her head. “Only until my brother returns, then I’ll stay a few days and visit with him before I leave. My parents will be home soon.”

“We’ll miss you.”

“Then you’ll have to come and visit in Colorado,” April said as she walked to the door to leave.

“I’d love to. Thank you so much for the dress.” Natalie followed her to the door. “I’ll have to do something special for you sometime.”

April leaned in and gave Natalie a quick hug. “Your friendship is enough. Now get back to bed, because that’s where I’m headed.”

“And Louise put fresh sheets on everyone’s beds today. See you tomorrow.”

“Ooh, fresh sheets sound heavenly. Good night,” April said. She slipped out the door and down the hallway to her room.

23

April saddled Sassy and headed in the direction of Josh’s sheep ranch with instructions from Miss Margaret on how to get there. A stiff breeze blew over the majestic mountains this morning, whispering that cold weather wouldn’t be too far away. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky, and just above the timberline, April could see snow-capped peaks that seemed close enough to touch but were really miles away. She was always amazed at the beauty around her, and here in Montana the bitterroot flower flamed brightly, waving in the wind. The trees showed signs of Chinook winds—they were bent over permanently from the constant onslaught. A bushy-tailed black squirrel and its mate scampered nearby, looking for food for winter storage. There was no place she’d rather be than on the back of her horse, surrounded by nature’s incomprehensible splendor. Only God could have created such magnificence and wildlife.

She heard the bleating and smelled the sheep before she even saw them. The furry creatures in thick groups appeared as a white ocean rolling before her. April still had to wonder why Josh gave up cattle for this, but she knew he would have thought it over long and hard.

As she drew closer, she saw Andy amid the sheep and a dog running alongside them. She reined Sassy in and slowed her to a walk as Andy approached.

“Well, hello there, April. Fine horse you got there.” He removed his hat, wiping his face with the back of his sleeve.

April slid off Sassy and greeted him. “Thanks, Andy. I got him from Wes.”

“Well, I hope he didn’t charge you too much. Some of his horses go as high as five hundred dollars. He raises some fine horseflesh.”

“Let’s just say we came to an understanding on the price,” April said with an evasive smile. The dog ran up to them, barking.

“It’s okay, Shebe. April’s our friend,” Andy said to the dog. To April, he said, “She won’t hurt you at all. She just wants to say hello. If you hold out your hand, she can pick up your scent and remember you.”

April did as Andy requested, letting Shebe lick her hand. “So this is the wonder dog Josh wrote me about.” She chuckled as Shebe wagged her tail in delight while April continued to pet her through the thick fur. “She’s a beautiful dog.”

“What brings you out on this gorgeous fall day?” Andy asked, putting his hat back on his shaggy brown hair.

“I needed to be outdoors today and thought I’d come check out Josh’s place. I guess I should tell you that they’ve decided to stay away a few more days.”

Andy laughed. “I can’t say I’m surprised. I figure he’ll get back eventually.”

A few woolies wandered over, and April moved away, but they continued to be curious.

“Sheep are the gentlest of God’s creatures, April. Maybe dumb, but gentle.”

April couldn’t resist touching the woolly lambs’ backs and was surprised at their softness. “I’ve never been near sheep.”

“Most people haven’t. Josh told me your daddy raises prime beef cattle,” he said. “Let’s walk on up to the house. It’s not far. Nellie will be setting out lunch about now. We’d be happy if you’d stay.” He turned to hold Shebe’s face in his hands. “Shebe, you stay,” he commanded. Shebe’s brown eyes looked directly at him, then she responded with a yap.

April trailed Sassy behind her and walked alongside Andy. Though he smelled of sheep and the outdoors, she struggled not to turn up her nose. “That would be nice, Andy. I’m enjoying getting to know the people who live around here.”

“If Josh had his druthers, he’d have you stay.”

They chatted as they walked through the meadow, and April learned that Josh had made certain his house was large enough to have a separate area for Andy and Nellie. April saw evidence of trees half-burned and new grass in the field amid areas charred from the recent fire Josh had written about. They’d weathered some tough times together, Andy confided.

Eventually, Andy and April started up a gradual incline until Josh’s ranch house, rebuilt after the fire, came into view at the foot of the mountain. The house was hewn out of rich ponderosa pine with a front porch that ran the full length of the house. A split-rail fence on either side of the long, wide driveway was flanked by spruce trees leading right up to the front door. A fat calico cat that lay curled up in a rocking chair hopped down and ran when the two approached. Something wonderful wafted on the breeze, making April’s stomach growl.

“That’s Prissy, Juliana’s cat. She just had to have her. She can be a little snooty sometimes,” Andy said.

“She’s a pretty cat,” April said, following him through the door. “I’ve never had one.”

“Stick around long enough and Juliana will see to it that you will,” Andy said with a wink.

Nellie came from the kitchen, her beautiful, ivory skin flushed— from the oven’s heat, April assumed. She beamed when she saw April with Andy and wiped her hands on her apron. “What a pleasure ’tis to be seeing you again! And just in time for lunch. I’ve just taken a shepherd’s pie out of the oven to cool,” Nellie said in her jolly British accent. She stretched out her hand to clasp April’s, giving it a firm shake.

April liked Nellie’s warm smile, and the freckles sprinkled across the bridge of her nose and cheeks made Nellie all the more charming. Her hair was pushed up into a bun, but now the curls escaped their pins. “It smells wonderful in here. I’d love to stay, if it’s not a bother,” April said.

“Lovely! Andy, show her the washroom. We can eat in the kitchen since it’s just the three of us. No sense in being too formal, don’t you think?” Without waiting for an answer, Nellie bustled off to the kitchen while Andy showed April where she could freshen up.

April was impressed with the large expansive living room and heavy furniture carved in ponderosa pine. A heavy leather chair flanked the fireplace, and a smaller rocker, which must have been made for Juliana, sat kitty-corner from the chair. Her brother’s home was simply decorated, warm and inviting just like he was, but it lacked a woman’s touch. April was sure that would change as soon as he and Juliana returned from their honeymoon.

Entering the washroom, she removed her hat, then hurriedly washed her hands and stared at her reflection in the mirror. Her face was a golden tan, and the sun had lightened her hair to a flaxen color that only complemented her features. April smiled at her reflection and decided that she liked her looks. She paused, wondering what Wes was doing right now. She blinked hard. What did it matter? Yet she couldn’t keep from thinking about it.

She scurried to the kitchen, dying to taste Nellie’s shepherd’s pie. What a treat that would be!