A Matter of Sin (10 page)

“No one shall know, I promise you,” he said, his voice rough.

Once he said those words, an enormous relief came over her. She realized that after years of emptiness and loneliness, an agreement to come to this man’s bed was liberation. Terrifying and joyful at once.

“Meet me tonight at midnight,” he pressed.

“Where?” she asked without hesitation. He had taken all hers and replaced them with desire and giddy anticipation.

“There is a gatehouse through the stable where our horse master once stayed. But he married our housekeeper and now they keep quarters in the servants’ area. The gatehouse is empty and private. No one visits there. We will be safe from everyone else.”

“You do not even hesitate,” she said in wonder. “You’ve thought this out, I see.”

“Since almost the first moment you walked through my door,” he admitted with a crooked smile.

Isabel tensed, shocked by the idea that this man wanted her so desperately. A woman who had nothing to offer…or so she had thought.

She considered his request one more time. This was her final chance to refuse his shocking offer of an affair. Her last chance to hold on to her propriety…and her loneliness…and leave matters as they currently stood.

But as he stared, waiting for her, she knew she couldn’t deny him any more than she could refuse what her heart and her body wanted.

“Yes,” she whispered. “I’ll meet you there tonight.”

His quick smile, filled with such pleasure and triumph, warmed her to her very soul, and in that moment Isabel silently vowed never to regret what she was about to embark upon.

“But now I must go,” she whispered, “to tidy myself before supper.”

He nodded. “Of course. I’ll see you at the table tonight. And know that I will be counting the hours until we’re alone and I can truly explore you in the all ways I desire. Slowly and without fear of interruption.”

Isabel shivered from head to toe at that sensual promise and all the images it created in her heated mind, but she didn’t dare answer. Instead, she hurried past him with only a nod and went back into the main house.

Chapter Eleven

“Study what you desire, acknowledge it and ask for it.”
—The Ladies Book of Pleasures

Isabel subtly slid her gaze across the long dining room and squinted to see the clock on the mantel. It wasn’t even nine. There were still a few more tedious hours before she met Seth. Was it possible to die of waiting? Because she feared that might be her fate if midnight didn’t come sooner.

She shivered as she thought of his hands on her in the orangery, his body entering hers with slick and heated passion, and the intensity of the pleasure that joining had brought her. Nothing in her experience had ever been so powerful.

She supposed she should feel guilty about that thought since that meant she was admitting, if only to herself, that her husband hadn’t satisfied her in the same way. Only she didn’t. Hartley had fulfilled her outside the physical realm and nothing could ever change or diminish that, nor alter her warm memories of him.

But this moment with Seth that she planned to steal out of time… It was a way for her to move on from the past. To finally have a little pleasure for herself after a lifetime of putting others first. Seth had asked her to believe that and she chose to do so, as difficult as it was.

When the lady at her right jostled her slightly, Isabel blinked. Goodness, she had lost herself in thought. With a shake of her head, she forced herself to attend to the last course of her supper. But as she glanced down the table, she started.

Seth was watching her. He smiled softly and she realized he had caught her looking at the clock. He gently tilted his glass in her direction, and she blushed as she looked down at her plate with unseeing eyes.

She stifled a girlish giggle before she took a bite of her dessert. It tasted better, sweeter than any had before.

How long had it been since she felt this way? So alive and free and young? It had to be years, probably before her father and stepmother’s deaths. Perhaps even longer.

“Look at them together,” a whispered female voice said just down the table from Isabel.

She glanced in the direction it had come from and found the voice belonged to Lady Lyndham. The dowager marchioness was seated next to another woman, Countess of Finhill, and their heads were close together. The countess nodded with a wide smile as both ladies looked down the table.

Isabel followed their gaze to Seth and noticed, for the first time that night, that he was seated with a gentleman at his left hand, but to his right was Countess of Finhill’s daughter, Ella. She had curly brown hair and a pert pink mouth that was quick to quirk in a smile. She was also very young and fresh and looked not a day over twenty.

“They
do
look well together,” Lady Lyndham whispered to her friend. “We really should have just betrothed them at Ella’s birth. Then none of this foolishness about courtship would have been necessary.”

Isabel swallowed as the two women laughed softly. Seth had just given the lady at his side a brief smile and she returned the expression. There was a comfortable, intimate quality to the exchange.

“Isabel?”

She shook her head as she looked across the table to find that Grace was staring at her. Her friend’s mouth was pursed and her blue eyes filled with concern.

“Yes?” Isabel forced herself to say as she shot another quick glance down the table to Seth and the young lady his mother seemed to like so much. Now she was leaning to speak to the gentleman on her opposite side and Seth had turned his attention to another guest.

“Are you well?” Grace pressed.

Isabel looked at her friend with a nod that she hoped would cover any of the sudden jealousy that might be reflected on her face.

“Of course.”

Grace looked down the table to where she had been staring and Isabel caught her breath. She had forced Seth to promise he wouldn’t reveal their affair to anyone and she intended to be just as discreet. But Grace had a sharp mind and she already knew about Isabel’s attraction. If she guessed…

Fortunately, her friend didn’t look at Seth, but instead her eyes stopped when they reached Serena, who was a few places down from them.

“Oh, Isabel,” she scolded quietly. “You needn’t worry so about your sister. She is looking very well. And the young man beside her seems enthralled!”

Isabel swallowed as she jerked her gaze to her charge. She had been so wrapped up in her own foolishness that she hadn’t really been paying attention to Serena.

“Isn’t that the younger son of the Duke and Duchess of Nethercourt?” she asked her friend as she stared at the young man to whom Serena was speaking.

Grace nodded. “I believe so. What is his name…Arthur?”

“Arthur, that is correct.” Isabel looked at him. He was very handsome, with the look of his distinguished father about him. “What do you know of the young man? Are there any rumors about him?”

Grace laughed. “I love that you assume
I
would hear them.”

Isabel arched a brow at her friend. “You know
everything
, Grace. Please don’t pretend you don’t—false modesty does not become you.”

Her beautiful friend flashed a smile that had likely broken a thousand hearts over the years and then shrugged. “I haven’t heard anything terrible about the boy. Not anything beyond the normal pursuits a charming and handsome young man sometimes indulges in. He is a good catch.”

Isabel sighed in relief. She couldn’t tell from this distance if Serena was truly interested in the young man or only being friendly in her usual way. She would have to press her sister on the topic later. But it did give her hope that perhaps this Season would be successful for Serena.

If it was, then Isabel would be finished with her duties as surrogate mother. She would be free to do as she wished, with whom she wished.

Her gaze slipped to Seth once more and held there briefly. There would be great benefits to freedom of that sort. And yet, she felt a little empty and lonely at the prospect, as well.

Seth paced the length of the front room of the gatehouse and then glanced at his pocket watch for the third time in a minute. It was only quarter after midnight, but each moment after the top of the hour had passed like a decade. It was amazing how slowly time could move when one wished it to speed away.

The whole night had been like that, with him checking the time and anticipating this moment when Isabel would come to him. But the last bit?

Pure torment.

Where could she be? He was certain he had said midnight, and he’d given her clear instructions on how to find the gatehouse. The walk was very short and his estate grounds were safe, so he could think of no reason why she wouldn’t arrive on time to such an important assignation.

He reached for his watch again, but before he could pull it free, there was a light, hesitant knock on the door. He froze as he stared at the barrier, his heart beginning to pound out of control.

She
was here.

Grabbing for the knob, he pulled the door open with a bit too much force and Isabel jumped in surprise as he came into view. For a moment, they only stared at each other.

Moonlight cascaded over her as she looked up at him. It cast her soft skin in a warm and ethereal glow. Her dark eyes sparkled and her hair caught glints from above. In that moment she put him to mind of a tempting fallen angel sent to him like a gift. The hunger she inspired only increased and it took everything in him to maintain a little self-control as he stepped back to allow her entry.

She said nothing as she moved inside.

“
You
are late,” he whispered as he latched the door and took a long step toward her.

Her dark chocolate gaze snagged his as her cheeks filled with color he wanted to create all over her lush body. But her voice trembled when she whispered, “I apologize. But you see, I was…”

He frowned at her hesitation and her apparent distress. “What is it?”

She shook her head. “I admit I questioned whether I should come here at all.”

As his heart lodged in his throat, Seth moved closer, almost as if he could keep her from running if only he started his pursuit now.

“But why? Earlier we agreed we could meet with only pleasurable consequences as long as we applied a few guidelines to our trysts.”

She jerked out a nod. “That is true, but I fear perhaps one of our guidelines has already been compromised.”

He stared at her in utter confusion. “I don’t understand.”

Isabel paced into the sitting room a bit further, clenching her hands before her nervously. He could see she was truly concerned over something. This was no missish game so many other women played, meant to inspire chase.

He caught her hand as she passed him and held it gently. She was wearing no gloves and her skin was soft as satin. He couldn’t wait to feel her fingers on his body, without the clothing that had impeded them during their previous encounters.

Only he had to overcome her uncertainty before he could have that pleasure.

“Isabel,” he whispered, his tone soothing as he drew her a fraction closer. “What is it that makes you hesitate when but a few hours ago you were as anxious as I was to meet here? I
saw
you watching the clock throughout supper, waiting for this moment.”

She smiled just slightly, even though her cheeks grew redder. “I admit, I was anxious, I
am
anxious to be with you, but…”

He thrilled at her admission. “But?”

She shifted uncomfortably and then whispered, “Seth, at supper I overheard a conversation between your mother and Lady Finhill about you and Lady Ella.”

He shut his eyes as he released a frustrated hiss of breath. “Let me guess, were they mentioning how they should have betrothed us as children?”

Isabel drew back in surprise. “So you
are
aware of their intentions that you should wed this young woman. Oh, Seth, I already said I wouldn’t be a third party if you were engaged or seriously interested in—”

Gently he tugged her forward and cut off her words by pressing his mouth to hers. As he parted his lips and breached hers, she let out a shivering sigh. Her clenched fingers came up to cup his neck as she surrendered her mouth to his with a hunger that matched the intensity of his own need.

After a blissful moment, he pulled away, steadying her as he stepped back.

“Listen to me, Isabel, I have
no
interest in Ella. And she has none in me.”

Isabel shook her head. “But—”

He held up a hand. “Our mothers are old friends who like to discuss this ridiculous notion any time we are in a room together, but it will amount to nothing. I believe Ella fancies herself in love with another man already—Lord Prescott, who was sitting on her opposite side tonight. Surely you must have noticed how closely and intimately they were talking.”

Isabel blinked as she slowly shook her head. “I-I didn’t. I admit, my only attention to the lady was when I believed you might have an interest in her.”

He smiled as he took her hand a second time and lifted it to his lips. He kissed her knuckles, but allowed his steamy breath to move over her skin so that the gesture was more suggestive than it would normally be in public.

“I rather like you when you are jealous, Lady Avenbury,” he whispered as he turned her hand palm up and repeated the gesture there. She shivered as he did so. “You are very pretty when you are envious on my behalf.”

A nervous laugh was her response, but she didn’t try to remove her hand from his as she scolded, “Seth!”

He backed up a step, gently drawing her away from the main sitting room of the small cottage and down the narrow hallway toward the bedroom at the end of the corridor. As they entered the room, Isabel caught her breath and he smiled.

He had gone to great lengths to make this room perfect for her, for
them
. The big bed had been made up with satiny sheets and there were candles strewn across the room so that it glowed with soft light. The fire had been burning for a while, so there was no chill to the room. It was the perfect hideaway for lovers.

And he couldn’t wait to take full advantage of that fact.

“This is amazing,” she breathed. “But the servants who you asked to arrange this—”

He shook his head. “Are my most trusted. But they have no idea who I am meeting here.”

“Won’t they whisper that you are meeting anyone at all?” she pressed.

“They won’t talk, I assure you.”

She seemed uncertain, but nodded nonetheless. He took solace in the fact that her desire was stronger than her fear. He wanted to make the fear fade entirely because the promise of pleasure between them was so powerful.

She looked around slowly and froze. He smiled. There was one final surprise waiting for her here and she had obviously found it.

She crossed the room and picked up the book he had left at the end of the bed. She turned and held it up with a smile.

“
The Ladies Book of Pleasures
?” she asked.

He nodded as he moved for her. “The book interested you enough that you took it right under my nose.”

“Yes,” she whispered, watching his every movement as he came closer and closer.

“It aroused you?” he asked softly as his body finally touched hers.

“Oh, yes,” she murmured.

“Then why not use it?” he asked as he leaned down to nuzzle her neck with his lips. She smelled like honeysuckle and tasted like vanilla. She drove him wild. “Let me make it a guide to all you desire.”

She didn’t answer, but turned her face so that her mouth met his. Her lips were open and the kiss was hot and heavy and signaled to him most clearly that Isabel was finished with talking and games and hesitation. She wanted him, she wanted this bed, she wanted to make love.

And he was more than happy to oblige her in every one of those needs.