A Memory Unchained (18 page)

smiling, she said, “You planned this, didn’t you?”

“Surprised?” He smiled.

Pamela kissed him quickly on the cheek.

“Get back out there,” Jeff patted her. “And take this

man with you!” Jeff laughed.

Rex held onto Pamela’s arm and they walked together

on stage. Pamela squeezed his arm. She whispered to Rex,

“Do you think we’re a success?”

“Oui, Chéri. I think we have a hit on our hands.”

Pamela squeezed his arm again as they neared center

stage. The audience went wild. It took minutes before they could be calmed down enough for Rex to speak.

Words of thanks spilled forth in his very French way.

He had the audience in the palm of his hand. It had been

the end of a perfect show.

Backstage it was bedlam. Photographers grappling for

a shot of Rex and Pamela together. Jill hugged her mother with pride. Both she and Grant had been close by for a

long time. Then Pamela noticed they had disappeared.

The crowd backstage had finally dwindled to a few

small groups in the wings. Janice’s laughter could be heard echoing through the now empty auditorium.

Pamela paused and looked around.

“We are finally alone Chéri, but where is Jeff?” Pamela

paused and looked around.

“Perhaps he could see what I have been blind to,” her

voice cracked. Their eyes met squarely for a moment. Rex’s smile turned to a look of question. “Let’s talk about us

– you and me.” She moved close to him.

The houselights were dim as Pamela and

Rex stood alone off stage. She had not taken her eyes off him. “I love you,” she whispered.

Rex looked into her eyes and answered, “And I love

you Chéri.”

“I want to be with you, take care of you,” she hesitated.

“I have been searching for someone like you; kind, loving, like my Tom was. You have been right here all along.” She paused, suddenly feeling very embarrassed.

“And what about your Jeff?” he questioned lovingly.

“I was mixed up about him, but seeing you again made

things clear. I’ve missed you terribly and I need to be with you.”

“Do you know Jeff made this trip possible; to surprise

168 __________________Gloria Graham

you, Chéri?”

“I know, it was wonderful of him. He is a very special

man.” Her voice tightened in her throat.

“Chéri, I still see a gleam in your eyes when you speak

of him!”

She was silent.

“You and I, Chéri, we love each other, it’s true, but I

don’t bring that gleam in your eyes. We are so lucky to have such a friendship of love between us!” Rex tucked his crutch deep under his arm and placed his arm around her.

“I do love you,” she said.

“Chéri, you are deceiving yourself. You are not ‘in love’

with me! You are searching for a dream, someone who will

fulfill a memory.”

Pamela’s face winced. Tears began their relentless trip

down her cheeks.

Rex caressed her firmly.

“Chéri, love is written all over your face. But it is not me. You are in love with Jeff. He can be all the things you dream about. If you really love him, don’t let him slip away because of a memory you want him to live up to.” Rex’s

voice was full of conviction.

Pamela’s shoulders shook. Her tears had turned to sobs.

She laid her head on his shoulder.

He patted her softly.

“Now, now my pretty. It is not all bad. Your Jeff, he

loves you too. Go to him now. Don’t waste any precious

time!” Rex held her back to look into her eyes again.

She smiled faintly. The truth was evident.

“I do love him, you are so right, as always,” she

sighed.

A Memory Unchained___________ 169

“Is he worth putting out some effort?” Rex asked.

“Oh yes, yes,” she sobbed.

`”Then go to him now. And God keep you,” he said

wistfully.

She hurriedly hugged Rex and kissed him on the

cheek.

“I do love you so,” she whispered.

“I know Chéri, and I you.”

“Will you be alright now? What will you do?”

“Janice has many plans for me, and I shall enjoy every

minute. I love my public you know.” He smiled his most

special, enticing, mysterious smile as Janice came closer to them.

“See, Chéri, my public awaits!”

Pamela turned around and disappeared out the stage

door.

Rex whispered softly as she walked away, a sentence

she would never hear, but one that echoed through the

empty auditorium, “I had the world in my hands with

you Chéri, and I lost it!”

Janice took him by the arm and they walked slowly off

stage to the awaiting clamor of the after party.

Rex turned back and glanced again at the empty stage

where he had held Pamela in his arms.

Pamela’s heart pounded as she ran away from the au-

ditorium. Her thoughts reeled. “Where will he be? Where

should I start?” She calmed her thoughts and said a silent prayer. “God, where shall I go?”

At that moment, she opened her car door and a note

was taped to the steering wheel. She read “Mom, Grant

says he has a serious question. I think he loves me Mom

170 __________________Gloria Graham

and I know I love him. Talk to you later.

PS Saw Jeff leaving, he said he was dreaming of Back

Bay. He looked sad Mom. Love you, you were a smash,

Jill!”

It hit her like a bolt from Heaven. Thank you Lord.

Back Bay, the restaurant on the ocean front. It was as if God had given her the answer, right there and then. She

remembered the place Jeff took her that special night.

He had to be there. It was his favorite place. She held her breath.

“I must find him. I must,” she whispered. Her heart

beat faster with anxious feelings. “Help me stay calm,

Lord.” She prayed.

It wasn’t easy, fighting all the frustrations she was feeling. She had been so enthralled in finding Jeff she hadn’t even noticed she still had on the beautiful blue chiffon

dress Rex had made for her.

Pamela felt a bit overdressed as she entered the small

oceanfront restaurant. Her eyes searched the room quickly.

She didn’t see him. When the maître d’ stepped up and

addressed her, she jumped.

“Welcome again,” he said. “Mr. Desmond is at your

table.” He motioned for her to follow him. Pamela was

overjoyed. Her heart skipped a beat as she walked behind

him toward the table.

He was sitting alone; handsome, solemn, but alone.

She motioned for the maître d’ to be silent.

Pamela slid into the booth next to Jeff. He turned in

surprise. “Pamela,” his words came slowly.

She looked at him with love in her eyes.

He stammered, “Where is Rex?”

A Memory Unchained___________ 171

“He sent me to you,” she smiled.

He pulled her close to him. “I thought I’d lost you.”

His voice cracked with emotion.

“I can’t let you go,” she said.

Jeff looked deep into her eyes.

“I want to kiss you,” he said.

She smiled.

“Let’s go out on the terrace,” he whispered.

She held his hand as they walked to the patio. Her heart

was filled with happiness.

The terrace overlooked the ocean and the lights of Back

Bay glistened across the bay. Jeff held back his desire to kiss her long enough to say, “Can I be what you want? What

you are searching for, my love?”

Pamela sighed. Can I learn to like fishing?”

Jeff laughed and pulled her close. “I have to much to

learn about you, my complicated lady.”

“I love you,” she whispered.

Jeff held her face with his hands and looked full into

her eyes.

“You must know I met a friend of yours last Sunday?”

He said softly.

Pamela looked surprised.

“My friend. Who?” she questioned.

“I visited that little Church on the hill over there.” He pointed.

Pamela’s looked surprised.

“Who was it?” She said.

“Your God,” he said.

Pamela sighed. Her heart filled with questions.

“And what did He say to you?” she said quietly.

172 __________________Gloria Graham

“I don’t understand all the feelings I had, but I prayed

He would lead you to me to give me a chance to love

again.”

“Jeff, my love,” she whispered.

“Don’t get me wrong. I’ve got a lot to learn about Him.

But I love you. I want things to be right between us.” Jeff’s face showed his concern.

He continued. “I have so much to be forgiven for, for

all my...” he paused, “Can you forgive me?”

“God has forgiven you, surely I can.” Pamela sighed.

“I haven’t been an angel either, can you forgive me? Will God forgive me?”

Jeff smiled and pulled her close. He whispered into

her ear, “If you can learn to like fishing, I can surely learn more about your God.” He smiled.

As they stood together, Jeff kissed her softly on the lips.

The still calm was suddenly disturbed by a swift breeze

billowing her blue chiffon gown, tossing her hair and lingering sweetly on her cheek. Pamela froze for a moment.

She felt Tom’s presence, kissing her softly as he said

farewell my love. When she kissed Jeff again, she felt unchained, released, and free to love again without the feeling of guilt. Her memories of Tom would never be forgotten,

but cherished in their proper place. She looked full into Jeff’s face.

“I love you,” she whispered.

“And I love you,” he said.

They stood embraced in each others arms while the

sound of crashing waves broke endlessly against the rocks below. “Our love will be everlasting, like the ocean,” Pamela smiled.

“Forever,” Jeff echoed.

And God smiled.