A Mended Man (The Men of Halfway House Book 4) (49 page)

"I can't hate you," Aidan whispered, wringing his hands, refusing to make eye contact.

Jessie brushed his fingertips against Aidan's cheek. "This is the part where you tell me what's going on in your head and we talk."

Aidan's body shook with each breath. He remained silent for a few moments, rubbing his hands together.

An overwhelming need to soothe Aidan took priority, but he couldn't decipher what triggered this tension and obvious worry twisting every inch of Aidan's mind and body.

"Don't worry about making it sound right. Just say it."

Aidan ran his fingers through his hair and blew out a heavy breath. "I want you, Jess. I want you so fucking much it's all I think about. But I can't…unless…fuck," he said, closing his eyes and burying his head in his hands as he let out a frustrated growl.

"I get it."

Aidan turned to face him. "That actually made
any
sort of fucking sense?"

Jessie rested his head on Aidan's shoulder. "You want to make sure I'm going to be okay. So you figured you'd offer yourself up to spare me. Does that sound right?"

Aidan sighed deeply. "I swear. I'm going to strap you to me so you can do all my talking. Because that sure as hell made more sense than whatever the fuck I just said."

"I know you so I just filled in the blanks. It's that protector thing in you. In a prior life, you were probably that knight who taste tested the food before the king ate it to make sure it wasn't poisoned."

"I'm not a sacrificial lamb."

"Baa."

Aidan chuckled. He turned and placed a kiss on the top of Jessie's head, leaning in and resting his cheek against Jessie's head. "Jess, I don't know what to do here."

Jessie held back a smile. "Well, we can have a birds and bees discussion. Or is it birds and birds, or bees and bees? Or do you prefer schematics with slots and markers so you know what goes where and—"

"Smartass." Aidan bumped Jessie's shoulder. "I've done this before so I don't need your color-coded, highly-detailed schematics."

Jessie snickered.

"I'm freaking out a bit here." Aidan exhaled heavily.

"I know, believe me, I understand. But I think what's worrying you the most is thinking it's going to feel the same for me. It's not, Aidan. I promise. I wouldn't lie to you."

"I know you wouldn't," he whispered. He rubbed the back of his neck. "It's still different for me. I'm not used to
this
. I'm more of a…uh…"

"Quickies? Down and dirty type of guy?" Jessie asked, trying—with every ounce of self-control—to hide the bubbling excitement.

Aidan looked over at him, slowly inching back and raising an eyebrow.

"Hey, don't judge. I have no objection to quick and dirty," Jessie said.

Aidan smiled and shook his head. "My point of reference really sucks. It's always been about getting off quick to avoid getting caught. It's different with you, Jess. It's not just about me, it's about us."

Jessie sighed, letting the words and the emotion backing them flow through his senses. "The things you say sometimes, especially when you don't even think about it."

"Was that wrong?"

He looked up and smiled. "Couldn't have been more right. Very romantic."

Aidan gave him a quick peck on the lips. "Point for Calloway."

"For the record…"

"Yeah?"

"Don't you dare eliminate down and dirty from your skill set."

Aidan snorted in amusement. "If we can figure out a way to make it good for you, I'll get as dirty as you like."

"Mmm. I have a few ideas," Jessie said, biting his lower lip.

"And I've got a hard-on."

Jessie tightened his lips, holding back a smile. "That's so romantic," he said, oozing with sarcasm.

"I've got a hard-on…for you."

He laughed and shook his head.

"That didn't do it for you? I was going for bonus points."

Jessie laughed again. "Be still my heart. Your romance score is through the roof."

Aidan pursed his lips. "Sorry, that's as good as it gets."

"You're far more romantic when you don't try so hard."

"Speaking of
hard
."

Jessie couldn't control the laughter that shook his entire body.

Aidan looked at him, unable to wipe the smile from his face. "I can hear you laugh all day long. Gives me more peace than any fucking piano sonata I've ever heard."

The smile slowly slid off Jessie's face as he stared at Aidan.

"Damn. Was that wrong?"

Jessie shook his head and reached out to wrap his arms around Aidan's bicep, holding him close. "You just earned a shit-ton of bonus points with that one."

"Awesome. By the way…"

"I've still got that hard-on," they said in unison.

Jessie looked up at a smiling Aidan, thankful the tension between them had dissipated. "Are you okay with me having my way with you tonight?"

"Uh, you've always had your way with me," Aidan said with a half smile. "Why would I stop you now?"

He reached up and brushed his mouth against Aidan's as he spoke. "So many bonus points for Team Calloway right now."

Aidan leaned in, pulling Jessie into a slow, teasing kiss. He reached out and held Jessie's face, tilting him slightly as he licked and tugged at Jessie's lips. He dipped his head and peppered kisses along Jessie's jawline, then down his neck.

Jessie placed his palm against Aidan's chest, halting his exploration. Aidan wasn't the only one turned on, and he wanted to make sure to slow the pace. Jessie stood, facing Aidan, guiding his shoulders down onto the bed so he would lie on his back. Jessie reached over into the nightstand and withdrew the lube, pitching the bottle onto the mattress. He tugged the waistline of Aidan's sleep pants, observing and translating every tiny reaction staring back at him from those hazel eyes, needing to confirm there wasn't an inkling of the fear or worry he had seen moments ago. Aidan tipped his hips up, letting Jessie slide the soft material off him.

Commando
. Mega bonus points.

Jessie knelt on the bed and straddled Aidan. He leaned down, curving his body to teasingly brush against the hard planes of Aidan's tight torso while he placed a few open-mouthed kisses along his neck. Aidan stretched, turning his head to grant Jessie better access to each corded muscle and twitching inch of skin. A smile tugged at Jessie's lips when strong hands gripped his hips and pulled him closer. He brushed his cheek against Aidan's stubble, reveling in the coarse hairs scraping against his skin. He licked and kissed along Aidan's neck, marking a path down to the ink he loved so much.

"Jess…" Aidan whispered, arching his hips up into Jessie.

He worked his way down Aidan's body, finally reaching his target and running his tongue along Aidan's hard shaft in one long swipe.

A groan escaped Aidan as his fingers dug into Jessie's hair, silently urging him to continue. Aidan set his legs apart and planted his feet on the bed the instant Jessie nudged him.

He drove Aidan to the edge then eased him back again, cupping and rolling his tender skin with one hand as he licked and sucked his hard length, tracing with his tongue each raised vein begging for attention. Aidan teased him about his ball fetish, but he truly had no idea. It drove Jessie insane, and he loved taking his time with the tender and enticing soft skin.

Jessie reluctantly released the tender sac and reached for the lube, slicking his fingers. Aidan's stare burned into Jessie’s flesh as he bobbed up and down the heated skin. Aidan’s parted lips and heaving chest enough to let Jessie know he was nervous but also aroused. Jessie ran his slick fingers down, under the tender skin as he kept his mouth wrapped around Aidan—their gazes locked, never wavering. He rubbed his finger along the ring of muscles, patiently waiting for the tightness to ease. He re-slicked his fingers and tried again.

Nothing.

"Sorry," Aidan whispered, pushing his head back on the pillow and throwing his forearm over his face. "Fuck. I don't know why I thought this might work."

Jessie released Aidan from his mouth and rested his head on Aidan's thigh. "You probably have a million what-ifs racing in your mind. Don't think about all that. Just focus on me, on us, and what you're feeling right now. Just breathe and try to relax."

Aidan blew out a heavy breath. Jessie rubbed his hand along the hair of Aidan's thigh, worried Aidan would perceive this as a failure.

"Look at me."

Aidan dropped the arm covering his face and propped himself up on his elbows to look down at Jessie, the worry and defeat battling in his gaze. No way would Jessie let Aidan's mind go there, to think that anything between them would end in anything close to disappointment. He re-slicked his fingers, more determined than ever. He wrapped his lips completely around the hard dick demanding his attention, relaxing his throat and taking every inch of Aidan into his mouth until the closely cropped hair tickled his nose.

"Shit!" Aidan yelled, pushing his head back onto the pillow, arching his body and granting Jessie that tiny distraction he needed to ease his lubed finger through the tight ring of muscles. Aidan's body stilled, his jaw slackened, and he gasped a breath, fisting the bedsheet at his sides. His toes curled and his chest heaved as his breathing sped.

Jessie slowly moved his finger and slid his mouth up and down Aidan's shaft in tandem, observing every muscle of Aidan's tight body, gauging his reaction. Jessie reached for the lube with his other hand, adding more slick, then closed his eyes for a moment when his finger eased into the heat of Aidan's body again without resistance.

Aidan gripped the back of Jessie's head, drawing his attention.

He pulled his mouth away but remained still, enjoying the slide of his finger and the heat of Aidan's skin pressed against his cheek. "Do you want me to stop?"

Aidan slowly shook his head, the need and heat reflected in his eyes shooting straight to Jessie's own hard-on.

A smile tugged at Jessie's lips. He hooked his finger, searching for that bundle of nerves that would be the deal-breaker, letting Aidan know exactly how much pleasure he could offer a partner.

"Fuck!" Aidan yelled, his body bowed and twisted off the bed.

Jessie groaned when fingers dug into his scalp and Aidan's release hit his chin. He immediately wrapped his lips around Aidan again, not wanting to miss another drop, sucking with more force as he continued to hook his finger to squeeze out every ounce of pleasure from Aidan's body.

Moments later, Aidan softened in his mouth and his body slowly eased back onto the bed. Jessie withdrew his finger and mouth, licking and kissing every inch of Aidan's now-sensitive tender stretch of skin. Aidan hissed a breath and eased the grip on Jessie's hair.

"Did that hurt?" Jessie asked, kissing his way up Aidan's body.

An almost-quiet, relaxed chuckle escaped Aidan as his fingers gently combed through Jessie's hair.

"I should be asking you that question. I think I might have dented your scalp. Sorry about that."

Jessie lay on Aidan, smiling at the peacefulness in Aidan's expression. He reached out and ran his fingertips along the ever-present stubble. Aidan opened his eyes and smiled—an easy soft smile Jessie hadn't ever seen.

"Tell me you're okay."

"I'm okay. Better than okay." He swiped his thumb along Jessie's chin. Jessie looked over and immediately wrapped his lips around Aidan's thumb, closing his eyes and savoring the remnants of Aidan's release. "Is that what it feels like for you?"

"That's what it
can
feel like," Jessie said, releasing Aidan's thumb. "Not everyone hits the mark."

A wicked grin spread across Aidan's face and his eyes danced with mischief. "You know I don't miss."

Jessie bit his lower lip, trying to disguise a smile. He rested his head at the base of Aidan's neck, snuggling into the warmth of his favorite spot. "Whenever you're ready, I'm more than happy to be your target practice."

* * * *

Aidan grabbed the case files after their recap meeting and walked with Sunny back to their desks.

"What the hell is eating you? Is it Vega's case and that asshole? Don't let him get to you. He's obviously taunting you and enjoys the thought of driving you crazy. Don't give him the satisfaction."

For once, that Michael asshole is not what's on my mind.

"Calloway, we'll find him. It's a matter of time, and you know if we work cases slow and steady, shit always comes up. Just because it's on the backburner doesn't mean we leave it alone."

"I know," he responded, not really wanting to discuss the asshole on the one day it hadn't been front and center in his mind. "I'm more concerned about Jessie and what this is all doing to him. He's my priority." That seemed to quiet his partner, obviously sharing the same sentiment.

"We've got to talk to a few witnesses and I've lined them up so we can get them all squared away this afternoon before our weekend off. C'mon, I'm treating you to lunch."

"Raincheck. I've got to run an errand." Aidan stacked the files on his desk and grabbed his keys from the top drawer.

Sunny looked at him questioningly but didn't push the point.

He had an errand to run.

A big one.

And it took priority over everything at the moment.

Aidan stood stock-still, staring at the sea of products in front of him. He planted his hands on his hips and frowned at the row of boxes. So much had changed in the last few years—more brands, more choices, more…everything. Ribbed, natural, thin, bare-skin…flavored? His eyes scanned each box and label, trying to filter through the marketing bullshit to focus on the differences.

He had to make a decision. He refused to wait another day.

The other night, Jessie teased him to no end—exploring every millimeter of skin and not allowing him to turn the tables on him at all. That night was
all about Aidan
, and Jessie was a man on a mission to let him experience every possible ounce of pleasure he could draw from Aidan's body, as if trying to replace each negative memory with a new, exciting one. When Jessie hit that internal button, Aidan's body reacted with an instant flood of ecstasy he could never have imagined.