A Moment of Weakness (40 page)

“Really. He told me he wants to meet you.”

Tanner closed his eyes for a moment, and then opened them slowly. “You’re still here.”

“What do you mean?”

He nuzzled her neck. “I mean I can’t believe you’re here.”

Jade leaned into him and savored the feel of his face against hers. “When Jim divorced me, I felt God allowed it to punish me for going against him. It only served me right for deceiving Jim. I knew how much God hates divorce, and I prayed he would heal the break between Jim and me. But Jim wasn’t open at all. He’d had enough. Then, when I lost Ty—” Her voice broke and she swallowed hard. “Well, I thought God had forgotten about me. But he didn’t.” She met his eyes and smiled through the tears. “Despite my weaknesses, he had plans for me, remember our verse?”

“I remember. Jeremiah 29:11.”

“Right.…” Jade ran her finger along the edge of Tanner’s neck. It was hard to believe they were finally together, where their hearts belonged. “God had plans for us, but we went against his will and … I thought he was going to punish me forever.”

“Ah, Jade.” Tanner kissed her forehead tenderly. “God isn’t like that. There’s another verse you need to memorize. Romans 8:28: God works all things to the good for those who love him.”

“Even this?” She snuggled close to him.

“Even this.” Tanner found her face again, and they kissed once more. This time he pulled away. “I better get some sleep.” He leaned close once more and kissed her again.

“It’s hard to let go.…”

He drew in a deep breath and exhaled dramatically. “Tell me about it.”

“Good night.”

“Wait.” The door was open, and the cool night air made her shiver. “There’s something we need to do before I go.”

“What?” Jade saw the serious look in his eyes, and she moved closer to him, appreciating the way he warmed her. He reached for her hands and folded his fingers over hers.

“Pray with me, Jade. Please. It’s been so long.”

They came together in prayer like they hadn’t since that long ago summer. Only this time they whispered words of thanks and requests for strength in the weeks to come. After several minutes, Tanner ended the prayer.

“Lord, I want to pray for the first time ever … for my son.” He squeezed Jade’s hands. “Thank you that you have always been with him and thank you for letting me find him now. Please help me build a relationship with him. And with Jade.”

He kissed her one last time before leaving. And as Jade fell asleep, she heard Tanner’s prayer over and over again.
I want to pray for my son … for my son … for my son
. The nightmare was almost over, and when it was, they would finally be a family—the three of them.

The thought of it made Jade’s heart swell to nearly bursting.

J
ADE MET
T
ANNER OUTSIDE THE MOTEL THE NEXT MORNING, AND
while she drove the five miles to Jim’s apartment, Tanner fired one question after another. “What’s his favorite sport?”

“Basketball.” Jade’s tone was light, teasing, but inside she was relieved that Tanner cared so deeply. Her son had craved fatherly love and attention, and Tanner wanted desperately to meet those needs.

“What about baseball?”

“Baseball’s okay. Basketball’s better.”

“Did he play Little League?”

“Little League, flag football, and most of all—”

“Basketball.” Tanner’s grin lit up the car. “That’s my boy.”

“Anything else?” Jade glanced at him. He didn’t look a day over twenty-seven. He’d matured into a very striking man, and again Jade ached at all the years they’d lost.

“Does he like to talk?”

“Yes.” Jade laughed. “He comes by it honestly.” Tanner mouthed, “Me?” and pointed to himself in mock astonishment.

“Yes, you. You haven’t stopped asking questions since I picked you up.”

He smiled. “My way of reminding myself I’m not dreaming. Every time you answer I’m forced to believe it’s true.” He stared at her, the smile gone, his eyes glistening with emotion. “You’re really here beside me.”

Jade reached across the car and wove her fingers through his. “I can’t believe it, either.”

They pulled up in front of Jim’s apartment and parked. The officers were already sitting in their patrol car, and Jade waved casually at them.

“Your monitoring crew?”

Jade uttered a brief laugh. “You guessed it. Just in case I do something really harmful—you know, like wield a Bible at Ty.”

“I’m still amazed any judge in his right mind would—”

She put her finger up to his mouth. “Don’t. It doesn’t matter. Everything’s going to work out.”

When the engine was off, they faced each other, and Tanner’s eyes were filled with love for her. “I still feel like I’m dreaming, Jade.”

She felt the hairs on her arms stand up straight. “Don’t look at me like that in public.”

Tanner motioned to the apartment complex. “Come on. Ty will be waiting.”

Jade drew a deep breath and squeezed Tanner’s hand. “Okay. Let’s go.”

The sun was making a rare early spring appearance, and Ty raced out the door in shorts and a sweatshirt as Jade and Tanner made their way up the walk.

“Mom!” Ty raced to Jade but stopped when he saw Tanner trailing behind her. “Wow … I didn’t think I’d get to meet him today.”

Jade laughed and willed herself not to weep at the significance of the moment. “Ty, I’d like you to meet a friend of mine, Mr. Tanner Eastman.”

Ty nodded shyly. “Nice to meet you, sir.”

Tanner stooped down to the boy’s level and placed his hands on the child’s shoulders. “Nice to meet you, too.”

Jade saw nothing uncomfortable in Ty’s expression as he remained there, facing Tanner, his face cocked curiously to one side. “So you’re the guy who’s going to get me back home, right?”

“I’m going to do my best, buddy.”

Jade saw the glint of tears in Tanner’s eyes. In all her life she never imagined a scene like this one. God was good, and certainly he would see them through the hearing. Even if Tanner was worried about the outcome.

They settled onto the front porch steps, Jade on Ty’s left and Tanner on his right. She had missed Ty terribly and normally would have been anxious to talk with him. Instead, she said little and allowed Tanner the chance to get to know his son.

“I hear you’re a basketball fan.” Tanner rested his arms on his knees and turned his head so he and Ty were facing each other.

“Yeah, hoops are the best.” Jade savored the enthusiasm in her son’s voice. How long had it been since Jim had asked Ty about his hobbies or interests? He probably never had. Yet when the hour was up, they would be forced to leave him completely in Jim’s care.

It’s not fair, God
.

In response she felt a deep-seated peace that caused the clouds of bitterness to dissipate. Somehow, no matter how dismal the current situation, she believed that one day they’d be together as a family. It would not be easy, certainly. If she won Ty back, Jade knew the bond between her son and his father would take time to develop. It would never be what it could have been if she and Tanner had followed God’s plan instead of succumbing to their own desires. But if they did get their chance, she felt certain the life they would someday share would be true and real, and that it would last forever.

“Think I could come see you play?” Tanner’s enthusiasm was genuine, and from where she sat watching them, Jade smiled.

“League play’s over.…” Ty thought a moment. “But there’s tournaments starting next month on the weekends. You could come then!”

“Deal.”

“Hey, what’s it like being on TV and stuff?”

Tanner laughed. “I’m only on TV when one of my clients winds up in big trouble.” Jade caught the concern in his eyes. “Then it’s something you forget about. I’m usually too busy helping my client to think about it.”

“Mom’s your client, right?”

Tanner’s eyes met hers, and Jade felt a shiver pass over her. He had a way of seeing straight through her, down to the deepest part of her soul. “Yes.” Tanner reached across Ty and squeezed Jade’s hands. “Your mom’s a client. And she needs a lot of help right now. Lots of prayers.”

Ty frowned. “You mean because of the hearing.”

“Right.”

“You mean I might not get to come home?” Ty had been so happy, but now doubt clouded his face.

Watching him broke Jade’s heart, and she pulled him close. “Mr. Eastman’s going to do everything he can, honey.” She exchanged a quick glance with Tanner. “One way or another we’re going to get you back home. Okay?”

“Okay.” Tears filled the corners of Ty’s eyes.

“I’m not too worried about it. Best thing I can do is pray for help. When I get up there before the judge, God’ll have to give me the words to say.” Tanner ran the back of his hand gently over Ty’s cheek. “You’re praying, too, right?”

Ty ran his fists under his eyes and dried his cheeks. “I wanna go home with my mom.”

This time Tanner slipped an arm around the boy and hugged him. “That’s what we’re going to tell the judge.”

The door opened and Jim stood there, glaring at them. “Get your hands off my son!” He stepped out on the porch as if he might push Tanner, and in the distance the officers both turned their attention toward Jim. He noticed them and immediately relaxed his stance. This time he pasted a smile on his face and spoke in a quiet hiss. “I said … get your hands off my son!”

Jade didn’t bother to get up. Let Jim look like a hothead in front of the officers. “He’s my attorney, Jim. Besides, this is
my
time. Leave us alone.”

The plastered smile remained, but Jim shot a vicious glance at Tanner and then turned back to her. “I don’t care who he is, I want his hands off my son.”

Tanner loosened the hold he had on Ty and leaned back. Jade wished he would say something, threaten a lawsuit, anything. But Tanner remained silent.

Ty glared at Jim and slid closer to Tanner. “I can talk to anyone I want.”

Jade caught her son’s eyes and gave him a look.
Not now, Ty. Don’t be rude now
. Ty slid away from Tanner once more, and Jade was proud of him. The upcoming hearing was too packed with emotions and tensions already. At this point Jade, Tanner, and Ty needed to be agreeable.

“Go in the house, Jim. Everything’s under control.” Jade stared at him until finally he disappeared back through the front door. How she wished they could stop this nonsense, and that Tanner could look Jim in the eyes and tell him the truth.

But Tanner had already explained that to her. The possibility was too strong that Jim would still win complete custody because he was the man Ty identified as his father, and because he was more tolerant in his views than either Jade or Tanner.
No, their best chance was to fight the case from the angle they’d already planned and hope that she’d win Ty back because of her First Amendment protection, her right to believe in God and teach his truths to her child.

The hour was up, and Jim’s appearance had dampened the mood considerably. “Well, buddy, nice talking with you. I’m sure we’ll talk again sometime soon.” Tanner pulled Ty into a hug, and Jade was grateful. Tanner had his reasons for saying nothing to Jim earlier, but he was obviously not intimidated by him.

“And you’ll come to my tournaments, right?” Ty’s voice was no longer enthusiastic. It never was when the hour was up and it was time to say good-bye for another week.

“Right.”

“Ty, we’ll see you Monday at the courthouse. You’ll be there in case the judge needs to talk to you. Okay?” Jade held her son’s face in her hands and searched his eyes.

“Okay.”

They said good-bye, and Jade waited until her back was to Ty before she started crying. Without saying a word, Tanner fell in step beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

“I don’t want
my
boy—” his voice was strained with emotion—“living with that man one more day.”

A tense and anxious silence filled the car as Jade drove Tanner back to his motel. It was painful to leave Ty behind, knowing the way Jim felt, his lack of love for her son, his anger for Jade.

Help me, God, I’m so afraid
. The prayer passed through her mind, and she knew she wouldn’t have survived the past weeks without her faith.

Trust in me with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding
.

Jade forced herself to breathe slowly.
I’m trying, Lord. Help me trust you more
.

Whatever the coming days held, the waiting was almost finished. The hearing was less than forty-eight hours away.

T
HERE WAS NO MISTAKING SOMETHING OF GREAT IMPORTANCE
was happening at the Clackamas County Courthouse that Monday morning. Media vans clogged the parking lot and well-dressed news anchors milled about outside, sipping coffee and bemoaning the dampness of spring in the Northwest.

Jade arrived at the scene alone, thankful Tanner had made prior arrangements. In an agreement with Jim’s attorney she would park near the rear of the courthouse and enter through a private door. There she would go to Room 12, where she would meet with Ty in what was scheduled to be a private session.

She eyed the sea of reporters and prayed God would protect her from them. At least right now when she had just five minutes before meeting with her son.

Jade parked her car and thought about Tanner. He had met up with his partner, Matt Bronzan, Saturday night, and the two had taken a hotel room near the courthouse. They ordered in meals and without other interruptions ran through every aspect of research and case history pertaining to the case. She hadn’t heard from Tanner until late last night.

“Have you read the newspapers?” Tanner sounded concerned, and Jade felt her anxiety increase.

“No. I try to avoid them these days.”

“They’ve done their homework, Jade. Big piece in
The Oregonian
quotes you as saying U.S. Department of Education should not be allowed to parent our children.”

Dread filled her heart. “How’d they get that?”

“I’m guessing you said it during one of your school board meetings, right?”

Jade thought back. “You’re right. Three years ago, I think.”