A Moment to Remember (2 page)

There was a narrow alley that ran along the back of the houses in Winter Street, and like most of the tenants the boys had made a hole in the wall to save coming through the house, and blocked it with wood to try and stop people coming in. Not that it did.

Milly smiled. These two were very enterprising. They had made a cart out of an orange box they’d got from the greengrocer for running errands, and found a couple of pram wheels. Getting the wood and chopping it up into sticks meant they could sell the small bundles. That and finding coal was Billy and Dan’s job. Everybody had to help in this family if they wanted to survive.

‘I’ll just take Helen’s bottle in and then I’ll tell you about the women I saw today.’

When Milly returned to the outhouse, the boys were sitting on the cold flagstone floor in front of the fire.

‘Come on, then, tell us about the women, Mil,’ said Dan eagerly.

‘They was marching along the street and they looked lovely in their white frocks and big white hats. Ever so many people was there. Some of the ladies was carrying big banners that had Votes for Women painted on ’em and others threw flowers. It was ever so exciting.’

‘I’d love to march along the street,’ said Dan.

Billy laughed. ‘You’d look silly in a white frock and big ’at.’

Dan pushed his brother. ‘No, daft. I’m gonna be a soldier when I grow up.’

‘There won’t be a war so they won’t want soldiers,’ said Billy. ‘Now me, I’m gonna go in the navy. Gonna go on a big ship and visit all those far-off lands and make me fortune.’

‘Mil, you still wanna find Auntie Doris and see if you can go and work with her in the big house?’ asked Dan.

Milly nodded. ‘I’d really like that. If we knew where it was and how to get there, I’d go and ask her.’

‘Yeah, but Mum won’t tell yer, will she?’ Billy jumped up and rubbed his bum, then kicked his shoes along the flagstones, making the studs spark. ‘It’s bloody cold sitting there.’

‘That’s cos you ain’t got no seat in your trousers,’ said Dan.

Milly laughed.

‘Why won’t she tell us, Mil?’ asked Dan.

Milly shrugged. ‘I think she’s ashamed of us.’

‘We can’t help it if our old man can’t get proper work,’ said Dan.

‘He could do more for Mum than he does,’ said Billy. ‘He’s only interested in getting enough money for a pint, and bugger us.’

‘Billy, don’t you let Mum hear you swear,’ said Milly.

‘Or Dad, or you’ll end up getting another pasting,’ said Dan.

Both boys had felt their father’s belt more than once.

‘One of these days I will go and try to find Auntie Doris,’ said Milly wistfully.

‘I dunno why she don’t come and see us,’ said Dan.

‘When I ask Mum about that, she says they fell out years ago, and I don’t think she wants Doris to see how she’s finished up.’

‘She must be a bit of a stuck-up cow,’ said Billy. ‘Cos it ain’t like Mum to fall out with someone.’

‘Mum don’t go out to talk to anybody,’ said Dan.

‘She talks to Mrs Booker,’ said Milly.

‘I know, but she don’t go out now, does she?’

‘No. Not since Helen was born.’

‘Why’s that then, Mil?’ asked Billy.

‘Dunno.’

After that they fell into a comfortable silence. They often talked about what they were going to do when they grew up, but they knew that whatever dreams they had, they were just dreams. For as much as their mother tried to help them, they knew that without a proper education they would only get poorly paid labouring jobs like their dad, if they were lucky. Going to school cost time and money, and their father would never allow that. Everybody in this house had to work in one way or another for their survival.

‘
N
OW COME ON, put this paper away before your father comes home,’ said Ivy Ash the following day. She was sitting nursing Helen. ‘He was hoping to get some work in the docks today. I’ll help you finish sewing those buttons on while there’s still a bit of light and we don’t have to waste pennies on lighting the gas mantle. Go and wash your hands, we don’t want to get the shirts dirty.’ She put Helen into the drawer that served as a cot and looked at her eldest daughter. Milly was growing into a beautiful girl, with pale skin and straight dark hair tucked behind her ears. Her dark eyes reflected her feelings and could change so quickly with anger or with love. But what was her future? There were times when Ivy wished that she was still in touch with her sister, then perhaps Doris could find Milly an interesting post, but she knew her sister would never come to see her. They’d fallen out many years ago and there were times when she wondered if Doris was even still alive. Ivy was proud of all her children. Billy and Dan were always looking for ways to make a few pence, and now Milly had been along to the shirt factory and managed to get some outwork sewing buttons on shirts. It wasn’t well paid, but it helped.

As Milly folded the newspaper and tucked it into the drawer in the dresser, she hoped that if her father had a made a few shillings today that would put him in a good mood—that was if he didn’t stop off at the public house and spend it all on drink before he got home.

But when he returned home later that afternoon, he was clearly in a foul temper. Although he’d had a few hours’ work and been to the pub, he was annoyed when they threw them out. He must have been trying to scrounge drinks, Milly thought.

‘If you can spare a few coppers for Milly to pop out and perhaps get some potatoes, I can make a meal,’ said Ivy, smiling up at him.

He searched his pockets and threw tuppence on the table. ‘And don’t waste it. I’ve bin working bloody hard all morning for that pittance.’

Milly grabbed her thin coat from off the nail behind the door and hurried down the street. As it was late in the afternoon she hoped that she would find something the shopkeeper wanted to get rid of.

She was in luck. First she went to the market and managed to get a few potatoes and carrots, then, as the butcher was taking in his wares, she heard him talking to the young lad who worked for him on the stall outside the shop.

‘Might have ter throw out those scraps. Can’t see anybody wanting ’em now, seeing as how they’ve been out all day.’

‘How much do you want for ’em?’ asked Milly as she stood and watched the boy bundling up the sad pieces of meat.

The butcher looked at her. ‘Give us a penny.’

Milly could have hugged him. Tonight they were in for a treat.

‘You must be hard up to buy that lot,’ said the butcher’s boy.

Milly tossed her head. ‘It might be for me dog.’

‘I’ve seen you a few times and you ain’t got no dog.’

‘Come on, Jack, stop talking ter the girls and get this lot inside.’

As Milly walked away, the young lad gave her a wink. That made her smile and put a spring in her step. Today was her lucky day. She had some meat to boil up, and with a few veg, that would make them a lovely warming broth. Her thoughts went back to the butcher’s boy. He had said he had seen her before, and he’d winked at her. He was rather nice-looking, with a ruddy face, a shock of ginger hair and a cheeky grin. She would have to go and see him again.

 

Jack worked mostly on the stall outside the shop, and since the day she’d bought the scraps, whenever Milly walked past he called to her. One day she stopped, and found him very nice; easy to chat to, just like Dan and Billy. She was buying a few bones to boil up when Jack looked around, then cleared his throat.

‘Fancy coming out termorrer? We could go to the zoo or somethink.’

Milly blushed. He wanted to take her out. ‘I’d like that, I ain’t ever been to the zoo, but I can’t.’

‘There’s no such word as can’t; you can do anyfink if you make up your mind. Look at me: I wanted to go to work and learn a trade. Not bad for a kid wot was born in the workhouse. I know you can’t go out to work, cos of yer poorly mum.’

Milly smiled. When she had told him that her mother never went out, he thought that she must be ill. ‘I would really like that. My mum went there once and told me all about it.’

‘Well that’s it then.’

‘I’d love to, but I have to help me mum. My little sister’s got the croup and Mum’s up day and night putting bread poultices on her poor little chest.’ Over the brief time they had talked, she knew she could tell him anything.

‘I ain’t taking no fer an answer. You come here tomorrow and then you and me will go ter see the animals.’

‘I’ll ask me mum.’

‘Right. I’ll see yer at nine.’

Milly smiled to herself as she walked away. Jack wanted to take her out. It would be lovely if she could go. This might be a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

 

‘So could I, Mum?’ asked Milly when she told Ivy what Jack had said.

‘I don’t know. Your father wouldn’t be happy about it and you could be gone all day. Besides, poor Helen needs a lot of care, and don’t forget your dad will be home and there’s the others to see to. Then there’s your homework. The factory will want that lot back on Monday. I’m sorry, Milly, but I can’t give you a hand, not with Helen so poorly.’

‘I know,’ said Milly. She went into the outhouse to put a pan of water on top of the fire. How could she go and leave her mother to cope? All she wanted was something out of life like Jack. She so admired him for going out in the world and getting a job. He had told her he had a future and was going to make something of himself.

Many times she wished she could go out to work instead of helping her mother with the children. She had never told Jack that she was doing homework, sewing on buttons. The pay was very poor and she couldn’t always finish the order on time. Sometimes she worked late into the night, till the gas ran out and they didn’t have any pennies to feed the meter and it was too dark to see. Why did life have to be so cruel?

 

The following day when Milly woke up, the sun was streaming through the thin piece of material that served as a curtain. What a lovely day to go to the zoo. She sat up and looked at the other children, who were all still asleep under their odd assortment of bedding. She knew that she would go to the zoo with Jack. Carefully she stood up and stepped over them.

‘Where you going?’ whispered Dan.

‘To the lav,’ Milly said softly.

‘What’s the time?’ asked Billy.

‘Shh. Keep your voice down,’ said Milly. ‘I thought I heard the church clock chime six.’

‘Come on, Dan, we’ve gotta get up.’

Dan and Billy carefully manoeuvred themselves between the sleeping children.

In the outhouse, Milly put a pan of water on the stove. ‘Go and get some wood, Dan, I need to get the fire going.’ The sun shining had helped to make up her mind. She would worry about the outcome later.

‘We don’t want any tea,’ said Billy, pulling on his boots.

‘I ain’t gonna make tea,’ said Milly. ‘I’m gonna have a wash.’

‘Why? You going out?’ asked Billy.

‘Yes.’

‘Where’re you going, Mil?’ asked Dan.

‘The zoo. Where’re you two going?’

‘Just out scrounging, down under the railway arches.’

‘Who yer going with, Mil?’

‘Jack.’

‘Who’s this Jack? Does Mum know about him, and what—’ Dan didn’t finish what he was saying.

They had all their backs to the door and were taken by surprise when their father came into the outhouse.

‘What’s all this then? What you lot doing up?’

‘We’re gonna get some wood before everyone else does,’ said Billy defiantly, looking straight at his father.

‘What about you, miss?’ He quickly pushed past Milly. ‘I’ll talk ter you when I git back.’

Milly stood silently and looked at his back as he rushed outside to the lav.

‘What you gonna do, Mil?’ asked Dan, looking very worried.

‘I dunno. I didn’t think he’d be up yet.’

‘Look, why don’t you come with us now?’ Billy stood at the door, ready to go.

‘I can’t.’

‘Why not?’ asked Dan.

‘I wanted to make meself look nice.’

‘Why?’ asked Billy.

‘Jack’s from the butcher’s, and he asked me to go out with him.’

‘Christ,’ said Billy. ‘Don’t let the old man hear that, otherwise you’ll be in for a right pasting and so will Jack. Come on, Dan, let’s scarper, ’fore he comes out the bog.’

Dan looked at Milly. ‘Please come with us.’

‘I can’t.’

‘I’m sorry, Mil,’ he said, and with that they both left.

It was no use her going off with the boys now that her father had heard about their plans. But just how much had he heard? She stood terrified, waiting for him to come back.

I
VY HELD HER daughter close. The young girl’s sobs were racking her body. She looked up at her husband. ‘Why did she need punishing, Arthur?’

‘Did you know she was planning to go out with some boy?’

Ivy slowly shook her head. ‘Just that she wanted to go to the zoo.’

Milly looked up at her mother, but could see the fear in her eyes.

‘She said she was going orf with ’im. She don’t ’ave ter go to the bloody zoo, there’s enough animals round ’ere.’ He had a smug look. ‘I heard ’er and the boys talking before they scarpered. Would ’ave thought she’s got better fings ter do round ’ere than stand gawping at a load of animals.’

Milly’s sobs slowly subsided and she raised her head again. How could her father think this way?

‘What yer got to say fer yourself, then, girl? Yer turning inter a right trollop. Not surprised, it runs in the family.’

Milly buried her head in her mother’s lap again.

‘Come on. Speak up.’ He dragged her up by her arm, making her wince with pain.

‘Milly, for goodness’ sake answer your father.’

He was still holding on to her arm, and now he pushed his face into hers. His dark eyes were narrowed and menacing.