A Mother for Matilda (3 page)

‘Sure.’ Lawson smiled, slipping the paper into his breast pocket before following Victoria into the lift.

They rode down in silence. Lawson could feel the tension radiating off Victoria, filling the confines of the lift. He watched her surreptitiously as it descended. He knew she was worried about her brother. She had, after all, helped raise the twins from babies. Biologically she might be their sister, but in every other way she’d been their mother.

‘He
is
going to be fine,’ Lawson said as the lift touched down and the doors opened.

Vic, still annoyed at the nurse, frowned. ‘I know that,’ she grouched.

She strode out of the lift tired and cranky. At the whole world. What the hell was wrong with her?
Females had been making goggle eyes at Lawson the entire time they’d been partnered—why was it bothering her so much now?

Why?

V
IC
steamed ahead. She needed to sleep. She wanted her bed. In fact she was already on sandman autopilot just putting one foot in front of the other, counting down the minutes until her head could hit the pillow. The day had been emotionally draining and right now she felt as if she could sleep for a week.

It took a few moments for her brain to register the fact that the couple a few paces in front of her had stopped to have a passionate kiss. She was almost upon them before the signals from her eyes penetrated her foggy brain.

‘Oh, God, I’m terribly sorry,’ she apologised as she pulled herself up just short of careening into them.

The couple broke off and the woman gave her a dreamy smile. ‘That’s okay.’

Vic was about to launch into a whole explanation when she realised the man was familiar. A prickle straightened her spine and cleared the fog. ‘Lance?’

She hadn’t seen her ex since he’d been caught with his pants down and they’d split four years before. Thankfully he’d moved to a hospital on the Gold Coast
shortly after their break-up. He was still dazzlingly good-looking and yet somehow he just didn’t do it for her.

God! She must be tired
!

Lance stared at Vic but recovered quickly. ‘Vic. How lovely to see you again.’ He gave her a decidedly uncomfortable half-smile. ‘Darling, this is Vic Dunleavy.’

Vic appraised the other woman, a young willowy blonde with an impressively perky chest.

Good grief—they were everywhere she looked today.

‘Pleased to meet you,’ she said politely. Even though she couldn’t have cared less. In truth, she was too tired to care about much of anything.

Lawson joined them and she immediately felt his hand at her elbow. The comfort of his touch, his superior height and bulk were the perfect emotional anchor and she leaned into him a little. ‘You remember Lawson?’ she offered.

Lance nodded stiffly. ‘Of course. Lawson.’

Lawson nodded back not giving a damn whether the jerk remembered him or not. He’d always found Lance a little too pretty for his own good and he guessed it was inevitable that a young, naive Victoria would fall for him. But he hadn’t been surprised when it had ended in Lance’s infidelity.

There was a moment of awkward silence finally broken by the woman. ‘Hi.’ She held out her hand. ‘I’m Kathy.’

‘Oh, sorry,’ Lance apologised. ‘This is Kathy. My…’

Another pregnant pause and then Kathy added, ‘Fiancé. I just called in to bring him lunch. Doctors work such awful hours, don’t they?’

Vic shook Kathy’s hand automatically, noticing the big fat solitaire sparkling in the sun filtering through the
atrium skylight. The smile on Kathy’s face was a mile wide and Vic suddenly felt very lonely.

Every relationship she’d been in had suffered because of her family commitments and she’d learnt early that her situation wasn’t conducive to falling in love. She just didn’t have the time. And then there’d been the inevitable comparisons to Lawson. Maybe in London she’d finally be free to connect with someone…

‘Mmm,’ Lawson muttered.

They made polite conversation for a few more moments and then Lawson intimated they were late for a job, for which Vic could have kissed him. By the expression on Lance’s face, he could have too. No doubt he didn’t want an ex-girlfriend blowing the whistle on his inability to keep his pants on.

‘You okay?’ Lawson asked as they headed for the ambulance bay.

‘Fine.’

It wasn’t until they passed a vending machine that Vic realised she wasn’t feeling at all fine. She was light-headed and a little nauseous. ‘You got some change?’ she asked Lawson.

Lawson fished in his pocket and handed it over without comment. He’d known women long enough to know that some situations required a shoulder, others a hefty dose of alcohol, and the really bad ones chocolate wrapped in some pretty foil packaging.

Vic retrieved the bar from the machine and a few minutes later they were buckled in the van and leaving the hospital. She opened the wrapper and devoured the chocolate bar in a minute.

‘Better?’

‘Marginally.’

‘You want to talk about it?’

‘What?’

‘Lance. Or Ryan.’

‘Thanks, but no.’ She turned away and looked out of the window.

Lawson took the hint and let it be, even though it irritated him to think four years down the track her jerk ex still had the power to upset her. Why it irritated him so much, he wasn’t quite sure.

Vic watched the world whizz by for a few moments, her thoughts tumbling around in her head. Lance the Unfaithful was settling down. ‘I can’t believe he’s getting married,’ she said after a while.

Lawson looked at her sharply. ‘I thought you were over him?’

Vic snorted. ‘I am.’

‘Really?’

She turned to him and rolled her eyes. ‘It was years ago. The man is an adulterous lech.’

‘Yeah. I remember.’ She’d cried on his shoulder for three months. ‘So—’ he shrugged ‘—who cares that he’s getting married?’

Vic watched as the lines on his forehead and around his eyes converged into a frown. How could he possibly understand? Lawson, who had travelled the world without a care until Matilda had come along. It seemed everybody else’s life had begun while she’d been treading water. Hell, even Ryan and Josh were heading off into the world, going to uni in Canberra in a few months’ time.

Seeing Lance today had been unexpected. Add to that
lack of sleep and the emotional upheaval of the morning and she was coiled so tight she was ready to burst. It was totally irrational. Ninety days couldn’t come soon enough as far as she was concerned.

‘I don’t.’ Vic faltered. She really, really didn’t. So why the hell was she feeling so churned up? ‘I’m just…tired, I guess.’

Lawson nodded, not overly convinced. But he could most definitely relate. He had to be pretty damn tired himself for this to be bothering him. ‘Why don’t you put your head back and catch some Z’s.’

Vic shut her eyes gratefully. They felt as if they were sticking out of her head on stalks and the relief was instantaneous. She let her head loll back against the padded rest and almost sighed out loud.

When she opened them again fifteen minutes later, Lawson was pulling into her driveway.

‘This is your stop.’

Vic unbuckled. ‘Thanks.’

Lawson nodded. ‘Will you be okay? Want me to stay for a while?’ He thought about her boxer-short pyjama bottoms and prayed like hell she’d reject his chivalrous offer.

‘Nah. You need your sleep too. I’ll be fine. I’ll see you later.’

Lawson nodded. ‘Sleep tight.’

Vic alighted the vehicle and waved her partner off. She walked through the front door that none of them had thought to shut never mind lock as they’d left. It was at times like these she appreciated living in a small community where theft or crime of any nature was practically non-existent.

It took her half an hour to clean up the kitchen, take a shower and ring the hospital to check on Ryan, who wasn’t back from Theatre yet. By the time she was done it was early afternoon and Vic would have crawled on broken glass to get to her bed. Her head hit the pillow and the feel of Lawson’s hand at her elbow guided her into the comforting embrace of sleep.

Lawson was contemplating hitting the sack again at nine that night when there was a rap on his door. He’d been lying on his couch in front of the television pretending interest in some B-grade movie.

He frowned, rising from the lounge and making his way through the darkened house. He didn’t bother with switching lights on, not wanting to wake Matilda, who was a notoriously light sleeper.

He wondered who it was, hoping it wasn’t a neighbour requiring medical assistance who’d decided it was quicker to knock on his door than call an ambulance. Unfortunately in their small community it was a reasonably common occurrence.

Lawson was surprised to find his partner standing there when he opened the door. She was wearing jeans and a red top—a top Lawson couldn’t stop himself from noticing clung temptingly to her petite frame. Her hair was loose around her face, and her lips shimmering with gloss. ‘Shouldn’t you be tucked up in bed asleep?’ he asked.

Vic smiled. Even in the subdued lighting she could see the man filled out blue jeans and a T-shirt better than any guy she’d ever known. ‘Probably.’ She shrugged. ‘I don’t know why I’m here.’ The words tumbled out before she’d given them adequate consid
eration. But it was true—she’d been in the car coming back from the hospital and suddenly she was here. ‘I’ve just come from seeing Ryan and guess I’m too restless to go home yet.’

Lawson, used to having Victoria in his house, stepped back. ‘You don’t need a reason, Victoria. Come in.’

His partner liked to talk when something was troubling her and, as it was usually about a case they’d done, he was generally the first port of call. At least he didn’t have to stand on any ceremony with Victoria. She was a familiar fixture around the house, being a regular babysitter for Matilda over the years and totally blind to any sloppy housekeeping. Thankfully living with two teenage boys had inoculated her against mess.

‘Is everything okay with Ryan?’

Vic nodded as she made her way into the lounge room. ‘Yep. All good. The operation went well. The surgeon’s happy. His haemoglobin was low though and they transfused two bags of blood.’

Lawson nodded as he flicked on a couple of lamps that threw a warm glow around the room. ‘Hang on a sec.’ He tiptoed into the hallway and quietly shut Matilda’s door. ‘He looked good a couple of hours ago,’ he said, rejoining her. ‘Tilly and I dropped by for a while.’

Vic sat on Lawson’s very comfortable, saggy old leather lounge and felt instantly at home. ‘Dad said you called in.’

Lawson shrugged. ‘Tilly was fretting. Would you like something to drink?’

‘Sure.’ Vic sighed and snuggled into the cushiony folds of the three-seater to the muffled sounds of Lawson in the kitchen. The television was down low and
the flicker of light emanating from the screen was hypnotic to weary eyes.

‘Here you go.’ Lawson handed her a glass and placed a bottle of red wine on the coffee table. He sat at the opposite end of the sofa to her and turned three quarters so they were facing.

Vic took a sip of the rich Shiraz and shut her eyes as the heavy bouquet filled her senses. Her eyes fluttered open as Lawson took a swig out of a long-necked beer. ‘Real men only like to drink beer, huh?’

Lawson smiled. She had her glass snuggled against her chest, her legs tucked up and her feet bare. If she knew what he was thinking now about real men and what they liked she’d be shocked.

Despite himself his gaze was drawn to her wide mouth and the way the glow from the lamps glistened in her lip gloss. Watching her mouth was dangerous, but then looking at any part of her tonight was dangerous. Her clingy red top touched all the right places, destroying his concentration.

This sudden awareness of Victoria, of his partner, of Bob’s daughter, was getting out of hand. He wisely chose to change the subject instead. ‘So, what gives?’

Vic shrugged. ‘I don’t know.’ All she knew was she didn’t want to go home. She didn’t want to have to play any roles tonight. To be the dutiful daughter, the caring sister. The ‘parent’. Reassuring her father and Josh, building them up, being there for them. Maybe tonight she just wanted someone to take care of her for a change.

Lawson nodded. ‘Okay.’ It was obvious something was eating her and he knew if he waited she’d tell him.

She dropped her head on the side and inspected him through lashes at halfmast. Just hearing his voice was enough at the moment. It was deep and calming and oozed a confidence that was soothing to the sudden well of conflict that had risen, unbidden and unwanted, inside.

‘I should have known Ryan would do anything to get out of his biology exam.’

Ah. Here it was. The recriminations. ‘Victoria.’

She ignored the gentle reprimand in his voice, staring into the ruby depths of her glass. ‘I should have stayed up until they’d gone off to school. Like I did when they were kids.’

‘Victoria. They’re not little boys any more. They’re seventeen. You’d just come off three nights. You’re allowed to sleep.’

She looked at him and nodded. ‘What the hell was Ryan thinking? He should have known better than that. I don’t know how often I told those boys not to play with knives.’

‘Of course you did, Victoria. You raised Josh and Ryan with textbook perfection. The twins knew right from wrong from very early. But they’re not little any more and they’re responsible for their own actions. They’re going to be flying the nest in a few months. Maybe its time to let go a bit, huh?’

She looked back into her wine. With the bloodied kitchen floor still playing in her head and the worst-case scenario taunting the edges of her consciousness his praise over her mothering skills was just what she needed right now. As was his unsolicited advice to cut the apron strings.

She was going overseas in ninety more sleeps, for
crying out loud. They were all going to have to get along without her. And as much as the thought of leaving them and this place snagged at a place deep inside her like a jagged nail, they were all going to have to get used to it.

She dragged her gaze away from the glass. ‘Tell me about working in London again. I’m sure you have some stories you haven’t told me yet.’

Lawson regarded her for a second. Was she just changing the subject because he’d hit a little too close to home or did she need some kind of assurance that she was doing the right thing? He wasn’t sure what it was about—he’d never seen her quite this melancholy before—but he obliged anyway.

Having kicked around the world for most of his twenties, he always had another story. He’d studied to become a paramedic straight from school but the minute he’d qualified he’d taken off for foreign lands, working and playing wherever the whim took him. Until the bombshell that had been Matilda, anyway.

She had well and truly forced him to reassess his life when her mother, a fling on a brief sojourn home, had literally left him holding the baby. So he understood Victoria’s itchy feet and her desire to do something with her life. To live it.