A Mother for Matilda (16 page)

He watched her tip her head back and drop another unrecognisable sticky, charred lump into her mouth. She sighed and smiled at him as she savoured it in her mouth. ‘That’s disgusting,’ he murmured, totally distracted by the way the light from the flame licked orange tentacles along the ridge of her throat.

Vic laughed, impaling a soft pink marshmallow. ‘Nuh-uh. You have to try it first,’ she said, stabbing the stick into the heart of the fire again. ‘There’s all this wonderful crunch and then gooey sweet liquid explodes in your mouth.’ She watched as the marshmallow finally flamed and pulled it out. It looked like a beacon in the dark and she gave it a second or two before she blew on it, extinguishing the flame.

‘Here,’ she said, removing the marshmallow and bringing it close to his lips. There was a second when they looked at each other and the blaze in their eyes had nothing to do with the fire. ‘I dare you,’ she said, nudging his lips.

Lawson held her gaze as he opened his mouth and sucked the gooey treat inside. He captured her fingers too, sucking the sticky residue from them as he stared into her fiery whiskey eyes.

Vic felt desire burst inside her like liquid marshmallow and she withdrew her fingers only to replace them with her lips. She heard his indrawn breath as he opened his mouth to her, cradling her jaw, pushing his fingers into her hair.

‘Lawson,’ she whimpered, gasping for breath herself. She felt as if the fire had broken the ring of stones that encircled it and set up camp in her belly.

Lawson groaned, pulling back slightly only to home in for more, bending her back, pushing her down onto the rug, stroking his fingers down her face, her throat as she locked her arms around his neck.

He pulled his lips away slightly, dropping kisses all over her face. ‘I love you,’ he murmured. ‘I love you so much.’

Vic stilled, the words she’d been longing to hear stroking seductively against her skin. She pushed against him, raising herself on her elbows. ‘Are you sure? You know, I hear sometimes it’s easy to get sex confused with other feelings.’

Lawson rested his head on her shoulder, trying to catch his breath.
He guessed he deserved that
. He pushed himself into a sitting position, struggling to get his mind back on what he needed to say.

‘I’ve been so blind,’ he said, staring into the flame. ‘Can you forgive me?’

Vic sat too. She reached out and placed her hand on his shoulder. ‘Of course I can. I know this hasn’t been easy for you.’

‘Yesterday…what I said, about Matilda. It came out all wrong. I was trying to tell you I knew I had feelings for you and then I mentioned Matilda and it got all screwed up.’

Vic gave him a rueful smile. ‘I may have overreacted.’

Lawson looked at her. ‘No. No, you didn’t. I was still fighting it. What I knew deep down inside but had been too afraid to admit because somehow I thought people would think less of me, would judge all my actions
with you up to this point as if I had some ulterior motive all along.’

Vic gasped. ‘Oh, no, Lawson. No one’s going to think that. That’s just hideous.’

He gave her a sad smile. ‘Some people will, Victoria. They will. But I can’t be responsible for other people’s thoughts. And you were right. You do deserve to have someone who wants you for you. Not for any mothering abilities or girl-talk skills. And I lay in bed last night and I missed you so much. I can’t get your smell off my sheets or the memory of what we did in my bed out of my head. But I still didn’t let myself think about what that really meant.

‘And then I arranged for you to go out with Carl today knowing it was all for the best and he put his arm around you and I wanted to tear him apart.’ He turned to gaze at the fire. ‘Pretty Neanderthal, huh?’

Vic shook her head. ‘No. Pretty damn sweet, actually.’

‘It hit me then. I didn’t want to share you with anyone. I didn’t want you to be someone else’s partner. It was suddenly so clear. I loved you. And I didn’t care who knew it or what they thought. I love you. And I know you should go overseas and do what you need to do but I’ll be miserable if you do. I can’t live another day without you. I don’t want to.’

Vic felt a rush of emotion flower in her chest and a solitary tear trekked down her face.

Finally
.

Finally she’d heard the words she’d been waiting to hear.

The silence grew with just the crackle and pop of flame on wood and Lawson turned to look at her. She
wouldn’t reject him now, would she? He noticed the tear. Had she changed her mind? Had she decided to go overseas after all? He reached for her, pulling her into his arms. ‘Don’t cry,’ he murmured, kissing her forehead. ‘Please don’t cry.’

Vic choked on a sob. ‘Oh, Lawson. I love you too. I’ve always loved you.’ She raised her face to his and pulled his neck down to claim a kiss. ‘I can’t believe you’re saying this. I’d just about given up.’

He shook his head, his heart filling with joy.
She loved him too.
Somehow, though, he wasn’t surprised. Somewhere deep inside he knew they’d been destined for each other. He kissed her eyes and her nose. ‘Believe it.’ He dropped a kiss on her mouth. ‘But I’m asking a lot of you, Victoria. I’m asking you to be a mother as well. Something you’ve been for the last eighteen years. Something you’ve told me repeatedly you never ever want to be. Can you handle that? I don’t want you to regret this choice years down the track.’

Vic smiled. She lifted a hand and stroked his face, running a finger down his scar. ‘Of course I won’t. Lawson, even if you and I never came to be, I know I belong here. I know now I could never leave. This is my home. It holds my heart. There’s a world out there, I know that and I do want to see it, but it’s nothing compared to what I have here. All I need now, all I’m ever going to need, is you. If I have that then the rest doesn’t matter.’

Lawson smiled. He felt warm all over and it had nothing to do with the fire. ‘It’s still a big ask. Instant mother. I’m scared stiff that one day you’ll start yearning for far horizons again and turn around and walk away. Like Matilda’s mother did.’

She ran a finger over his lips. ‘I’m not Deb, Lawson. I’m not someone you barely know. I certainly couldn’t walk away from you or Matilda. When you love someone that means you love all of them. And you and Tilly are a package deal. She’s the sweetest thing. She’s part of you—why wouldn’t I want her? I would be honoured to be her mother.’

Lawson swooped down and took her mouth in a kiss that he felt all the way to his groin. She clung to his shoulders and her moan empowered him to go deeper. Linger a while. He pulled away minutes later, with difficulty. ‘We’re getting married. As soon as your father’s well and we can arrange it.’

Vic smiled, her heart full of the most incredible sweet ache. ‘Here on this beach. Matilda can be flower girl.’

‘And then we’re going on a honeymoon. For six weeks. We’re going to London. And Italy.’

Vic felt her heart flutter in her chest. ‘And we’ll take Tilly.’

Lawson’s heart filled so much he thought it was going to burst out of his chest. ‘But in the meantime, you’re coming to live with me. With us.’

She grinned. ‘Yes. Sir.’ And she pulled him down with her into the sand, eager to comply with his commands.

And all that could be heard for the next little while was the crackle of the fire and the pounding of the surf as their bodies promised each other a life full of happily ever afters.