A Mother for Matilda (12 page)

‘Come on, Dad,’ she whispered, feeling a pressure behind her eyes that was burning unbearably. ‘Come on!’ Louder this time, more insistent.

‘Stand clear,’ Lawson demanded, and again she reacted automatically, removing her hands and putting the required distance between her and the electrical current.

Lawson noted the trace on the monitor was still VF. ‘Coms, this is nine six zero, defibrillation in progress,’ he said into the radio as he pushed the button to deliver three hundred joules to Bob’s heart. He held his breath, but when the trace on the monitor returned it was still VF.

‘Go again, Victoria,’ he instructed as he recharged the machine.

He noticed the silent tears streaming down her face as she pumped at her father’s chest and it was like a knife to his gut. He could hear Josh, who had totally lost it
behind him. He wanted to pull both of them into his arms and tell them it was going to be okay. But he didn’t know if it was and he couldn’t be the person they needed him to be if he succumbed to the emotion of the moment.

Seeing one of his oldest friends in such bad shape was shocking, but he couldn’t go there. He had to succeed. He had to keep it together for Victoria and Josh. He would not think about losing Bob, about not being able to revive him. He had to detach himself from the situation. This wasn’t Bob his friend and mentor. This was just another patient. Just another resus.

‘Damn it, Dad,’ Victoria puffed as she pounded on his chest. ‘Don’t do this to us. We need you.’ Her voice cracked and she didn’t know how much longer she could hold it together.

Lawson blocked out the emotion fracturing her voice. ‘Stand clear again.’

Vic ceased the compressions and sat back on her haunches. She looked up at Josh, who was a blubbering mess, and wanted nothing more than to go to him. But she couldn’t, not now. She didn’t know how much longer she’d need to do this for, but she knew it was her father’s only chance. And she’d already lost her mother way too early—damned if she was going to lose her dad before his three score years and ten.

Lawson heard a siren in the distance as he flicked the discharge switch again and prayed it was the cavalry. Victoria needed to be the daughter and be with Josh. This time the joules managed to shock the damaged heart back into a sinus tachycardia and Bob stirred immediately.

‘Dad!’ Vic sobbed his name as she threw herself against his chest. ‘Thank God.’

Bob, weak and confused, raised his arm to pat his daughter on the shoulder. ‘It’s okay,’ he whispered.

Vic felt an absurd urge to burst into tears and stay right were she was, safe in her father’s arms, as she’d done a hundred times as a girl. But right now her father needed to lean on her and she had to rise to that occasion.

And then another crew entered the house and when she looked up she saw Carl smiling down at her, easing her away, directing her to Josh. She reached for her brother and they both cried together as Lawson and Carl lifted their deathly ill father onto the trolley and then transported him to the ambulance.

‘Don’t even think I’m not sitting in back with you,’ she said as Lawson clicked the gurney in place.

Any other person he would have said no to. But he didn’t have the strength to say it to her pale, distraught face. He just nodded and waited for her to strap herself in before he took his position next to Bob. Josh rode up front with Carl and with lights and sirens going they made it to the mainland hospital in twelve minutes.

The next two days passed in a total blur for the Dunleavys. Bob was admitted to the coronary care unit, where he had thrombolytic treatment to dissolve the clot that was causing his tissue ischaemia and underwent an angiogram to ascertain the damage. During this procedure he had placement of three stents in his three partially blocked coronary arteries.

Vic and the twins lived at the hospital, dozing in the relatives’ lounge at night curled up on hard chairs. Lawson stayed with them. He’d arranged for time off for them both and for their shifts to be covered from HQ
as well as a replacement for Bob. He organised Dorothy to be with Matilda so he could stay by their sides. He was their gofer, bringing them food and drink regularly, and their chauffeur, shuffling them back and forth between the island and the hospital.

Vic was grateful for his presence. In fact, she was in such a daze, going through the motions, putting on a brave face for her brothers and assuring her father she was coping, that she didn’t even question it. He was just there, good old Lawson, as he’d always been, and she leant on him unashamedly.

All their recent baggage faded into insignificance. After a month of trying to avoid what had happened between them it finally became a non-issue. The tension between them oozed into nothingness and it was like it used to be. Lawson there, as always, in the background.

After four days in CCU, Bob was moved to a ward and Vic finally relaxed a little. They spent their first night at home in their own beds and Vic was able to send Lawson home to his daughter. She slept like a rock that night stretched out in her bed after four nights of minimal sleep scrunched in a chair.

After two more days on the ward her father was looking very well and had even lost a few kilos. He was back to his chipper self, joking with the nurses and winning their favour with a bottomless box of chocolates that never found their way past his lips. He was eager to get out, co-operating with the physio and impressing the dietician with his knowledge of good nutrition.

Still, Vic was nervous about him coming home. He was raring to get back to work whereas she’d been
hoping he might retire. High blood pressure and being overweight had been the main factors in his heart attack, but stress had also contributed and being an OIC of a station was about as stressful as it got.

And she was going to have to postpone her trip. She wasn’t sure what that meant for Lawson and her and, in truth, that was low down on her list of things to worry about. She couldn’t leave with her father still in the recovery phase of his heart attack. He needed her. And so did the boys. She’d thought she’d be disappointed but nothing was more important to her than her father’s recovery. London would still be there in a few months’ time.

Vic came in after the afternoon rest period to visit her father. He was expecting the doctor any minute and she wanted to talk to him about his future. ‘Dad, I think we need to talk. About what happens next.’

Bob kissed his daughter’s cheek. ‘We most certainly do, my lovely.’

Vic frowned. That was easy. She’d expected him to wave aside any attempts to talk to him about his future.

‘I think you should retire.’

Bob laughed and gave her hand a squeeze. ‘Oh, my dear girl, I do love you, but I’m not retiring. I’ll take the full six weeks off, I’ll walk every morning, I’ll change my diet and I’m going to drop to part-time, but I’m not leaving the job.’

‘But what about the stress, Dad? The understaffing and the rosters and the skill mix?’

‘Part-time will help reduce that load considerably.’

‘I don’t know, Dad…’

‘Sweetie, I’ve only ever wanted to be two things. A
father and a paramedic. And I’m not ready to give up on either of them. Not yet.’

‘Oh.’ She didn’t know what to say. Her father had obviously been thinking about the future and had most definitely made up his mind. It wasn’t what she’d hoped for but at least he was thinking about lifestyle changes and it was a good compromise.

‘Now. Let’s talk about your future.’

‘It’s fine, Dad,’ she dismissed. ‘I’ve already postponed the air ticket.’

Bob frowned. ‘I certainly hope you didn’t,’ he said. ‘You’ve been looking forward to this trip for a year. Go and get it changed back.’ Bob looked at his watch. ‘You have a couple of hours before the travel agent closes.’

Vic shook her head. ‘No, Dad. I’m not going to take off to the other side of the world when you’ve just had a heart attack.’

‘Vic, you deserve this. You’ve given up so much of your life to help me with your brothers. And now the boys are grown and it’s your time. You have to do this.’

She noticed the worry lines around her father’s eyes and mouth and didn’t want to upset him. ‘London will still be there in a couple of months.’

‘Do you know what your mother said to me just before she died? She said, “Help Victoria be the person she wants to be.”’

Vic felt that whammy hit her chest and clutched her father’s hand. ‘And I will. I just want to see you through this time, Dad.’

‘I’ll be fine,’ he said gruffly.

‘I think the boys would prefer it if I stayed for a bit longer.’

‘Victoria,’ Bob said sternly. ‘They’re not boys any longer, they’re men.’ Vic raised an eyebrow at him. ‘The shoe incident aside,’ he clarified. ‘They have to stop relying on you to wipe their noses and pack their lunches. They’ll be fine.’

‘And what if you—?’ She stopped. She didn’t want to entertain the thought that her father would have another heart attack, but his grey face was indelibly printed on her retinas.

‘If I have another M.I.? Well, let’s just say that I’ve had a very big wake-up call and I don’t plan to,
but,
Vic, it can happen any time whether you’re here or there. It could happen while you’re on a night shift or away visiting your aunt at Noosa or at the emergency care convention you go to every year. It could happen in ten years’ time.’

Vic blanched. ‘Gee, thanks, Dad. I think I can dream up enough scenarios without you giving me any more.’

‘My point is there aren’t any guarantees in life. You and I both know that already with your mum.’ He gave her hand a squeeze. ‘You can’t hang around indefinitely just in case.’

She sighed. ‘Look, I promise I’m just talking until you start back at work and you’re coping okay.’

Bob shook his head. ‘I’m not happy about this.’

‘You think I’ll be able to enjoy London if I’m fretting about you?’

Bob conceded the point. He smiled at her. ‘We’re a fine pair, aren’t we?’

‘I’ll get there, Dad. I promise.’

‘You’d better.’ He pulled her forward into a bear hug. ‘Otherwise I’ll just have to sack you.’

Two weeks later, Vic was really happy with how her father was progressing. She’d organised a schedule with the twins so between them all he was never alone in the house. He’d managed to organise a staggered return to work in four weeks and she’d made sure she was rostered on the same days as him to ensure he wasn’t overdoing it.

‘What you watching, Dad?’ she asked as she plonked herself down next to him on the couch. She realised as she did so she hadn’t thought about what had nearly happened on it for what seemed like ages. The whole incident with Lawson might have been a million years ago now.

Bob looked down at his daughter. ‘A documentary on the life cycle of the silkworm.’

Vic nodded enthusiastically even though the thought of watching another doco was enough to make her scream. But they were her father’s favourite and she wanted to spend as much time with him as possible so silkworms it was. ‘Sounds great.’

Bob frowned, grabbed the remote and muted the television. ‘Victoria Dunleavy, for goodness’ sake, get out of this house. It’s your day off and you’ve been hanging around me like a blowfly all day. It’s Saturday night. You’re young. Go join the crew at the pub. Or meet a friend. I’m fine.’

‘Dad, it’s okay. I want to spend time with you.’

Bob ignored her and reached into his pocket for his mobile phone. ‘What’s Brenda’s number.’

Vic grabbed the phone. ‘I don’t need you to make a play date for me.’

‘Then go,’ he said. ‘Quick sticks. Get on your glad rags. Go have some fun. Ryan and Josh are both here.’

Vic wavered. It had been a while since she’d been out
for anything other than work and she was starting to get a little cabin fever.

Bob could see her weakening. ‘Please, sweetie, I hate seeing you lock yourself away in here. I worry about you.’

Vic started. The last thing she wanted was her father fretting about her. He was supposed to be having a stress-free recovery—the fact that she’d delayed her trip had already caused him undue anxiety; she certainly didn’t want to be the cause of any more.

‘All right,’ she conceded, rolling her eyes and kissing his cheek. ‘If it means that much to you.’

Bob grinned. ‘Atta girl.’

There were two drinking holes on the island—the upmarket Beach Hut, also known as the club, and the Brindabella Pub. The club boasted cover bands on a Saturday night, a dance floor and expensive cocktails.

The pub, on the other hand, had cheaper drinks but the ambience was slightly less lacking. It was also the place she’d often spend a working Saturday night, treating the victims of bar brawls. Generally it wasn’t the place she chose to go to relax.

Vic entered the Beach Hut a little after eight. There were two bars in the club. One near the dance floor, which was rocking at the moment, and the other out the back servicing a large lounge area dominated by floor-to-ceiling windows affording striking views of the beach just across the road.

She approached the quieter one and sat at a stool. She looked around while she waited for the bartender and was surprised to see Lawson sitting at the other end.

Their gazes met and he sent her a mock salute before picking up his beer and moving towards her.

‘What’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?’ he said as he sat on the stool beside her.

Vic smiled. It was nice to hear him joke. The stuff with her father seemed to have wiped out all their recent baggage and it was nice to feel back on an even footing with him. Of course, she’d always have that crush, but she was done beating her head against the wall.

‘My father ordered me out of the house.’

‘Ah.’ Lawson nodded. The bartender approached. ‘What can I get you?’

Vic thought for a moment. ‘A chocolate martini.’

Lawson screwed up his face. ‘What the hell is a chocolate martini?’

‘Two of my favourite things—vodka and chocolate. It’s like dessert you can drink with a straw.’

Lawson raised an eyebrow. ‘If you say so.’ He ordered the drink and they both watched as the bartender made it in front of them.