A Mother's Shame (29 page)

Kitty’s heart fluttered as she nodded but then she thumbed across her shoulder and her eyes became fearful as she told him, ‘I thought I heard someone followin’ us through the woods back there.’

‘’T’would only have been a beastie,’ he reassured her. ‘They start to wander about at dusk.’

‘Oh.’ Kitty looked relieved and, suddenly feeling in the way, Maria moved on. She was convinced now that Kitty had feelings for Robbie but she wondered if he returned them. He had always shown them both nothing but kindness admittedly and he had taken Kitty to the dance in Hobart, but as far as she was aware he had never exhibited any romantic inclination towards the girl. She hoped that Kitty wasn’t heading for heartbreak – but then she scolded herself: who was she to try and interfere? The first time she had fallen in love, or thought she had, it had led to an unwanted pregnancy. And the second time . . . She gulped as she thought of Josh. Giving herself a mental shake, she quickened her steps. Josh could be at the house at this very minute visiting Isabelle, and it wouldn’t do for him to find her daydreaming like a lovesick schoolgirl.

‘Ah, Maria, there you are,’ he called, only minutes later, as he walked towards her through the trees. He had obviously decided to come and meet them and his voice was heavy with concern. ‘I popped over to see Isabelle and when Binda told me that you and Kitty had gone to the pool, I was worried. It’s very easy to get lost in these trees, when it’s dark. Are you both all right?’

‘We’re fine,’ she said. ‘Kitty is back there planning a trip into Hobart tomorrow with Robbie. But what did you think of Isabelle?’

His head wagged from side to side as he fell into step with her. ‘She seems very . . .’ he struggled to find the right word.

Maria suggested tentatively, ‘Strange?’

‘Well, yes. I would have to say she did,’ he sighed. ‘Not at all like herself. Sort of vacant and far away. I think she even forgot I was in the room at times.’

‘She’s been like that for a while,’ Maria told him. ‘And Binda seems to think that the baby could come at any time, which is quite worrying as she still has a few weeks to go.’

‘Hmm.’ He glanced at her, noting the way her damp hair was springing into curls and the flush on her cheeks. ‘Then I should be on the alert if that’s the case. I’ve never known Binda to be wrong and she’s delivered hundreds of babies over the years but I don’t think we need to send for the doctor again just yet. Binda is very capable.’

They had reached the verandah now and the light from the oil lamps in the kitchen was spilling through the door. Josh’s horse was tethered there and was gently pawing the ground. Josh told her, ‘I suppose I’d better be off then. No doubt you have things you need to do before you retire for the night. But do get word to me if anything should happen with my sister, would you?’

‘Of course,’ she promised him politely, wishing that he had allowed her to summon the doctor. ‘Goodnight, Josh.’

He leaped lithely into the saddle and she stood there and watched him gallop away until the ever-darkening night had swallowed him up.

Late the following afternoon, Kitty returned from Hobart with Robbie.

‘Oh, you’ll never believe some o’ the bargains we’ve had.’ She threw her shawl across a chair and clasped her hands as she beamed at Maria and Binda. ‘Robbie took me to an auction house an’ we found a beautiful sofa that will look a treat in his living room. An’ I got some material too to make him some curtains and cushion covers. Well, I’m not that good at sewing really but yer will help me, Maria, won’t yer?’

When Maria nodded she rushed on, ‘We got more pots an’ pans, new bedding, an’ some lovely rugs that will look wonderful on the floorboards. Then on the way back, we called in at a joiner friend o’ Robbie’s who’s made him a sturdy table an’ chairs where he can sit to eat.’

Her eyes were like stars and once again, Maria felt a ripple of unease. Anyone hearing her might have thought that Kitty had been choosing things for her own home, but Maria did not have the heart to say anything and spoil the girl’s mood. Eventually, as she realised that she was gabbling on, Kitty flushed guiltily. ‘Sorry,’ she said. ‘But we’ve had such a lovely day I got carried away. Now what needs doin’?’

‘Not a thing,’ Maria said lightly. ‘Binda and I have everything in hand. There’s some stew on the stove, enough for you and Robbie if you haven’t eaten yet.’

‘Cor, ta.’ Kitty rubbed her stomach, suddenly realising how hungry she was. ‘Then in that case I’ll take the pan over to Robbie’s if yer don’t mind an’ we can warm it up an’ eat it there. I can help him to unpack his new stuff an’ all then. Yer know what men are like – he won’t have a clue where to put anything. That’s if you’ve no objections?’ she added anxiously.

‘Of course not.’ Maria forced a smile to her face as Kitty snatched up the pan and disappeared the way she had just come. Glancing up, she found Binda watching her closely.

‘You are worried about the little missy, no?’

Maria sighed and nodded. There was no point in denying it. Binda seemed to have the ability to see right into her very soul.

‘Robbie is a good man,’ she told Maria. ‘She will come to no harm with him.’

‘But I think Kitty has feelings for him,’ Maria confided, ‘and as yet Robbie doesn’t appear to be returning them.’

‘He cannot marry her, if that is what you are hoping for.’

‘Why? Is he already married?’ Maria had feared something like this but it was soon evident that Binda was going to say no more and they lapsed into silence as Maria’s mind worked overtime.

It was during the early hours of the morning that Maria awoke, certain that she had heard something moving about on the verandah. She slipped her dressing-gown on then tiptoed along the passageway, her bare feet making no sound on the floorboards.

Binda was fast asleep on the settle and Maria let herself out onto the verandah, having taken her small hand-gun from the kitchen cupboard on the way. Her hands were shaking and she prayed that she would have no cause to use it, but she cocked it ready all the same.

She had gone no more than a few tentative steps when a shadow suddenly loomed up in front of her out of the darkness and she aimed the gun, holding it with both hands.

‘Whoa there, don’t go firin’ that, lassie.’ When Robbie’s familiar voice came to her she almost cried with relief as she sagged against the wall.

‘What are you doing prowling about?’ she shakily managed to ask as Robbie came to stand at her side.

‘I thought I heard something.’ He was peering into the deep night and now that her eyes had adjusted to the gloom, she saw that he was holding his rifle.

‘What do you think it was?’ She was almost afraid to ask but he shrugged, although she sensed that he still wasn’t happy.

‘I can’t be sure,’ he answered. ‘It could have been a bear but it sounded like a man’s footsteps to me. But don’t be afraid. Whatever or whoever it was, they’ve gone now.’

‘How can you be so sure?’

He grinned. ‘Ain’t nothin’ gets past me,’ he told her. ‘I know the sounds of all the night creatures an’ I can even tell you how close they are.’

Maria suddenly thought of the noise Kitty had heard earlier that evening as they were returning from the pool.

‘Do you think that it might be the same person who was following me and Kitty earlier on?’ she asked tremulously. She had felt very safe and secure in the knowledge that Robbie was close by, but suddenly she felt very vulnerable again.

‘You don’t even know for sure that anyone
was
following you,’ he pointed out sensibly. ‘But you go on back to bed now. I shall hang about for a bit before I turn in and you’ll all be quite safe, I promise you.’

‘All right. Goodnight, Robbie.’ Maria turned and entered the cabin again, but for the first time she slept with her gun close at hand on her bedside table.

Maria was the first to rise the next morning and was surprised to see through the window that Robbie was in almost exactly the same place she had left him in the night before.

Slipping out of the door to join him she whispered, ‘Haven’t you been to bed yet?’

‘Of course I have, but lookie here.’ He pointed down to the ground with the barrel of his rifle. It had rained during the night and the dust surrounding the cabin had turned into a quagmire in which a man’s footprints were clearly visible. At least, Maria assumed they were a man’s. They were very large for a woman’s.

‘Who do you think it was?’ she asked with a tremor in her voice.

‘I don’t know, but I reckon I’ll ride over to the ranch and tell the boss that I’m not turning in today. I think I’ll hang about here just in case the feller decides to come back.’ Then seeing the fear in her eyes he added, ‘It was probably just some chancer come looking for something to steal that he could sell on. Even out here we get them, more’s the pity. The number of sheep we have go missing is alarming. Chances are that now they know I’m on to them, we’ll not see them again so stop worrying. You’re safe as houses.’

‘That’s all right then,’ she answered wryly. ‘Isabelle seems to be a bag of nerves, and I really don’t think she needs any upsets. But I’d better go in and get breakfast started now. Will you be joining us? I’ve some bacon and eggs I was planning on cooking.’

‘In that case, how could I refuse?’ Robbie winked at her and feeling slightly better Maria went back inside to call in on Isabelle before getting dressed.

Once breakfast was over, Binda again examined Isabelle and decided that she would go back to the ranch to pay Esperanza and the children a visit. It was obvious that she missed them, and as Isabelle was quiet and seemingly in no distress Maria had no objections to her going. As it was, there was little to do about the cabin that day so after helping Maria wash up the pots Kitty asked, ‘Would yer mind very much if I went over to Robbie’s to carry on wi’ the cleanin’ there? It’s startin’ to look grand now wi’ all the new bits an’ pieces he’s bought.’

As Isabelle was dozing again, and Maria assumed that there would be little chance of the intruder returning in broad daylight, she thought that it might be quite nice to have a little time to herself. So she gave her consent willingly, and after scrubbing the floor, she pushed the kettle into the heart of the fire to boil again, deciding to make a nice pot of tea and put her feet up for a while. She might even begin one of the books Esperanza had kindly sent over for her.

She carefully measured the tealeaves into the heavy brown teapot, grateful that Uncle Freddie made sure they had a plentiful supply. Maria didn’t like coffee, especially the way the people here drank it – strong and black with no sugar.

She was in the process of pouring out a mugful when she heard the back door open, and thinking that it was Kitty returned for something she had forgotten, she turned with a smile on her face. It died instantly and her stomach seemed to sink into her shoes as she found herself looking at Lennie.

‘Wh-what are you doing here? And how did you know where to find me?’ she choked out.

He looked wild and unkempt as he eyed her hungrily. Strangely, since she had left the ship, he had been able to think of no one else. No other woman had ever spurned him before, and suddenly he had realised what he had lost, which was why he had jumped ship to follow her.

‘’T’weren’t hard in this neck o’ the woods,’ he told her with a sickly grin. Then, ‘Is there any o’ that tea goin’ spare? I’m fair parched.’

Maria was over her initial shock now and her eyes blazed fearlessly as she stormed, ‘Was it
you
hanging about here last night?’

‘What if it was? Ain’t yer pleased to see me?’

As he advanced on her, she could smell him – rank with sweat. She quickly put the table between them, telling him, ‘I should go now while you can, if I were you. If Robbie catches you here it will be the worse for you.’

He grinned. ‘Now that’s hardly the way to talk to yer intended, is it? An’ you carryin’ my babby an’ all. I’ve followed you all this way, even after you got me a flogging.’

‘But I’m
not
carrying your child any more,’ she spat. ‘I lost the baby when I was ill aboard ship. I thought you knew that. And I’m
certainly
not your intended!’

He looked momentarily stunned – then he eyed her shapeless dress and she realised that he was trying to determine if she was telling the truth.

And then he shrugged. ‘Aw well, if that’s the case we’ll have to make another, won’t we?’ He looked about at the cosy cabin. ‘Seems to me yer’ve fallen on yer feet here, an’ I’m sure the gaffer would have no objections to yer beloved joinin’ the team. It would certainly beat workin’ me guts out on the ship.’

‘Huh!’ Maria tossed her head in defiance before telling him clearly, ‘There’s no chance of us
ever
getting back together now, Lennie. I thought I loved you once but you walked out and left me when I was at my lowest, with no thought of what would happen to me should my father find out I was with child. You didn’t care about me or what would happen to your unborn child then, did you!’

‘Ah, but that were then an’ this is now,’ he said cajolingly as he began to sidle around the table. It was then that Maria lifted the heavy pressed-glass milk jug, sending the contents sloshing all across the table and the floor as she warned him, ‘You come one step closer to me, and I shall hit you with this – I swear it!’

Lennie chuckled. It seemed that Maria was not the timid little miss he had taken her for and suddenly he wanted her more than ever. As he drew closer, the smell of him made Maria’s eyes water and it was all she could do to stop herself from gagging. Then suddenly he threw aside the chair that stood between them and it clattered across the floor. As he pounced on her, Maria brought the jug swishing down but it merely bounced ineffectively off his arm as he bore her to the floor.

‘Come on now, give us a kiss, yer know yer want to,’ he gasped as she struggled beneath him. It was like a repeat of the night in the churchyard and the attack on the ship. She opened her mouth to scream, but his dirty hand had clamped across it and now she did gag as he ripped at her clothes. Helpless tears poured from her eyes as she bucked beneath his weight. The buttons on her blouse popped off and rolled across the floor as he tore at the thin material. And then suddenly a piercing scream rent the air, and Maria turned to see Isabelle standing in the doorway clutching at her stomach. She was screaming loudly enough to waken the dead, but still Lennie grappled with Maria until suddenly he was hauled off her and she rolled away to curl into a sobbing ball.