A Perfect Match (16 page)

‘No, I don’t see it like that at all, actually. I think it’s a wonderful way to have a family. I can’t wait to go to Russia to get my baby,’ I said, plastering a smile on my face.

‘I think it’s very brave of you,’ said Sonia, rubbing her big, pregnant stomach affectionately. ‘I could never do it, but good for you.’

‘What does your husband think?’ asked Maura.

‘About what?’

‘Having to adopt. I know Stephen wouldn’t like it. He wouldn’t be open to bringing up someone else’s child.’

‘James doesn’t mind at all. In fact, he’s delighted about it.’

‘Really?’

‘Yes.’

‘You’re very lucky. He must be very understanding and supportive of you.’

‘Supportive of what?’ asked Lucy, who had just arrived with Donal who had made a bee-line for James.

‘The girls here are telling me how lucky I am to have a husband who doesn’t mind adopting. They feel it’s a bit like wearing someone else’s cast-off clothes and could think of nothing worse than bringing up another person’s child. They think I’m very brave.’

‘Lucky and Brave. Wow!’ said Lucy. ‘I think you have it all wrong. Adopting has its advantages you know. For starters, you don’t end up looking like a big whale,’ she said, staring pointedly at Sonia. ‘Nor do you have to pee every four minutes. You don’t have to deal with constant hormonal changes or have your vagina ripped to shreds at childbirth. You don’t have to worny about losing all the weight you piled on while you were pregnant and, best of all, your husband wants to have sex with you before, during and after the baby. Personally, I think you two are the brave ones.’

I love Lucy.

18

Over the next few weeks I saw very little or James. His draconian training regime kept him at the club. He was determined to get to the semi-finals again this year and was facing the Cup favourites – Biarritz – in the next game. He was like a man possessed, it he wasn’t at the club, he was at home watching replays of all the Biarritz matches that season. He kept scribbling down messages and reminders on Post-its. They were everywhere:
La Pieire – weak on the high balls. Bring the game to them. Break their rhythm – mix up the plays
. I even found one stuck to the fridge.
Winning is a mind-set, attitude is everything
. I stuck a picture of Cameron Diaz beside it with a note saying,
Being thin is about discipline – say no to chocolate
.

Three days before the big game we attended our fourth adoption session. James was like a cat on a hot tin roof. He couldn’t sit still and kept looking at his watch and sighing as the minutes turned into hours. He was flying to France that afternoon with the team. I was flying out with Lucy the next day. James had to be at the airport at two o’clock and our meeting wasn’t due to finish until half past one. Half an hour to get to the airport was cutting it very fine and he was getting decidedly agitated. I nudged him.

‘Stop it,’ I whispered.

‘What?’

‘Stop looking at your watch. You’re supposed to be listening.’

‘I can’t help it; my mind’s on other things.’

‘Well, try harder. We need to make a good impression.’

‘Thinking about the game?’ asked Gary, who was sitting directly behind us.

‘Yes,’ said James, grinning. ‘It’s a bit all-consuming.’

‘They’re a good team all right, but I think you’ve the advantage. Leinster has a bigger pack, that’ll swing it for you. How’s O’Brien’s ankle?’

‘Better. He’s fit to play, which I can tell you is a relief. We –’

‘– it is vital that you choose the right moment to tell your child that he or she is adopted,’ said Dervla, raising her voice and glaring at James and Gary. ‘I’d like you to break up into groups and discuss how and when you should tell your child they’re adopted. What words will you use? How will you approach it? How will you cope if your child reacts badly to the news?’

As usual, I was put in Brendan’s group. As usual he took over, appointed himself group leader and began to shove his views down our throats.

‘My research tells me that it’s really only when the child reaches eight years of age that they begin to become more aware of being adopted and go through a grieving process. They want to know why they were abandoned by their birth parents and start looking for answers. The way to deal with it, is to be very direct. Just say, “Your mother left you in an orphanage where you would’ve remained for the rest of your life, if we hadn’t come along and saved you.” ’

Hold on a minute. That didn’t sound very sensitive to me. Carole looked a bit taken aback too.

‘What about saying something like, “Your poor mother was very young when she had you and she couldn’t really cope, so we were chosen to look after you and since the day we met you, you’ve brought nothing but happiness to our lives,” ’ said Carole.

‘That’s lovely,’ I said, smiling at her.

‘You’re not dealing with the problem,’ said Brendan. ‘The child needs to understand that if it wasn’t for you it would still be in the orphanage.’

‘That’s not dealing with the problem, that’s nursing your own ego,’ I snapped. ‘The child isn’t supposed to feel that their mother dumped them in the orphanage because she couldn’t be bothered with them. It’ll only make their abandonment issues worse. At least if they think she loved them, but just couldn’t manage to raise them because she was too young, or had no money, or was sick or something – they won’t feel so rejected. You coming along and saving their lives isn’t what we’re talking about here – we’re supposed to be focusing on the child’s feelings, not ours.’

Brendan glared at me. ‘I hardly think someone who cites losing a tooth as a traumatic experience, is qualified to lecture me on how to handle my child.’

Before I could tell him that a tosspot like him shouldn’t be inflicted on a child, Yvonne announced that we were now going to watch a video – yet another one – that would give us some insight into the effect that telling your child they are adopted can have. James rolled his eyes and slumped down beside me.

The video was about a man in his late twenties who was adopted, but never knew. It was only when he was getting a visa to go to Australia, and saw a copy of his birth certificate, that he discovered the truth. When he confronted his parents they told him that not only was he adopted, but that his twin brother was also adopted. So he wasn’t his twin or his brother, or even the same age as him. Needless to say, the man was extremely distressed and had to go to therapy to recover from the shock. He never made it to Australia.

I have to admit, I found the video a bit hard to swallow. I mean, come on. Who in their right minds would bring up two children who were not related in any way and not the same age – as twins! When the post-video discussion started up and we were asked to analyse how we felt about the video, James jumped up.

‘Tremendous viewing. I think we all learnt a lot from it. Very insightful. A great way to end today’s session. Thank you,’ he said, reaching to put on his coat.

‘But, James, it was ridiculous. The parents should never have –’

I stopped as James stood on my toe and glared at me.

‘We can discuss this at home,’ he said, shaking his watch in my face. It was twenty-five past one.

‘Ludicrous,’ said Brendan. ‘The whole thing was a farce. The parents are clearly stupid and the man should have just gone to Australia and cleared his head over there. No one with an ounce of intelligence would behave that way.’

‘Maybe they just never found the right time to tell him and then it was too late,’ suggested Carole.

‘Pretending the brother was his twin was a bit off though, you have to admit,’ said Gary.

James at this point was bright red in the face. I think I actually spotted steam coming out of his ears. It he didn’t get out of there soon, he’d explode.

‘I suppose that was a bit silly,’ admitted Carole.

‘They should never have been allowed to adopt – they are obviously not intelligent enough,’ snorted Brendan.

‘Well, now let’s look at it from all the angles,’ said Yvonne.

‘No!’ shouted James. ‘Let’s not do that. Let’s go home, think it over and talk about it next week. 1 think that’d be much better all round. Can we please not spend any more precious time bickering about this ridiculous video and just wrap this meeting up.’

Everyone stared at him. James was normally so polite and calm at the meetings and now he was standing there stamping his foot like a child, demanding to be let out of school on time.

‘Sorry,’ I said, trying to smooth it over. ‘James has a flight to catch and he’s just a bit nervous about missing it.’

‘We did stress in the first meeting that you should allow for overtime,’ said Dervla.

‘Maybe you
should
think it over at home and tell us your thoughts next week,’ said Yvonne, our resident peacemaker. ‘Now don’t forget that next week is our last session and we’ll be having lunch afterwards, so you all need to bring in food from the country that you have chosen to adopt from. I hope you won’t be rushing off next week, James?’

‘Not only will I not be dashing off, but I will cook a Russian feast for you all,’ said the old James, as he sprinted out the door.

The next day, Lucy and I arrived in Biarritz in time for dinner. James and Donal were so preoccupied by the game that they just about registered that we’d arrived. After an early meal, James ordered everyone to bed at ten. Lucy and I stayed up drinking wine and she filled me in on Annie’s reaction to their engagement.

When Annie arrived in from boarding school for the night, Lucy hid in the bedroom to give Donal a chance to break the news to her gently and alone. Annie got a bit upset at first, but he kept telling her that she would always be his priority and he’d never abandon her and that this was her home and that wouldn’t change.

‘But what if you have kids? Then what? You won’t have time for me any more.’

‘Jesus, Annie, we’re not even married yet, we won’t be having kids for a while. You don’t have to worry about that.’

‘I don’t want a new mum.’

‘Lucy’s not going to be a new mum, she’ll be more like a big sister or a friend.’

‘I don’t need a new friend.’

‘Lookit, Annie, give me a break here. I promise you, nothing will change. I’ve finally met a woman I want to marry, so please be happy for me, will you? Lucy’s mad about you, sure she even wants you to be her bridesmaid,’ he announced, grasping at straws.

Lucy bit her lip. Bloody hell, what did he go and say that for?

‘Promise nothing will change?’

‘I swear to you.’

‘OK, then. Congratulations, I’m glad you’re happy,’ she said, throwing her arms around Donal.

‘
Lucy
!’ hollered Donal. ‘You can come out now, she’s happy for us.’

Lucy was mortified. She didn’t want Annie to think she had been listening at the door like some sort of spy. It was humiliating. She threw her clothes off and grabbed her towelling robe.

‘Sorry, were you calling me?’ she asked, pretending to have just got out of the shower.

‘Yes,’ said Donal, looking very pleased with himself. ‘Annie’s got something to say to you.’

‘Congratulations, Lucy, and thanks for asking me to be your bridesmaid.’

Lucy knew she was being insincere, but she played along for Donal’s sake.

‘Thank you. We’ll get you something really nice to wear, you can choose it yourself.’

‘Well, I’ll leave you two ladies to discuss dresses while I make a quick call.’

‘– as soon as Donal left the room,’ said Lucy, sighing as she glugged down her wine, ‘Annie attacked me and told me that she hated me and would rather die than be my bridesmaid. She said she wouldn’t let me steal Donal from her and there would be no wedding.’

‘Little cow. What did you say?’

‘I tried to explain that I wasn’t stealing Donal. I said that I loved Donal and wanted to make him happy and that I totally respected her relationship with him and I wouldn’t dream of interfering with it. But it made no difference; she just can’t bear to share him with anyone.’

‘What did Donal say when you told him?’

‘I didn’t tell him.’

‘Why?’

‘No point. He was delighted because he thought it was all sorted out and, in fairness, there’s nothing he can do about it. Hopefully when we get married she’ll chill out. I dunno though, Emma, she’s a handful.’

‘Thank God for boarding school. Look, in two years’ time she’ll go off to college and you’ll hardly ever see her. Besides, at fifteen your hormones are all over the place. She’ll mellow.’

‘Any tips from your course on how to bring up children who hate you?’

‘Well, I can tell you how to detect diseases, how and when to tell her she’s adopted, how to deal with racism, how to talk to her in pidgin Russian and tell her how to behave if she gets invited for dinner in Moscow. Apart from that, I’m useless.’

Lucy asked the barman for another bottle of red wine for two desperate, clueless, about-to-become mothers.

By the time I got to bed, I was a bit unsteady on my feet. After knocking over the bedside lamp and stubbing my toe on the side of the bed, I eventually fell over, landing on top of James.

‘For goodness sake, Emma, I am trying to get some sleep here.’

‘Sorry,’ I giggled, trying to extricate myself from the bed sheet. ‘Too much red wine.’

‘I can see that.’

‘Oh, relax. Are you being stuffy wuffy. Is Jamesy wamesy being stuffy wuffy?’ I giggled, squeezing his cheeks.

‘No, he is not. Now get into bed and shut up.’

‘Does Jamesy’s little sausage roll want to come out to play?’ I said, snorting at my own joke.

‘Emma!’

‘Come on, you know you want to,’ I said, lying on top of him.

‘Get off me, you lunatic,’ said James, pushing me aside.

‘Come on, it’ll be good for you. It’ll distract you and you always sleep well after sex,’ I said, tugging at his boxer shorts.

‘Tempting though the thought of having sex with you right now as you breathe red wine and garlic fumes all over me is, I think I can live without it. Now go to sleep,’ he said, shoving me aside.

I rolled off the bed and fell on to the floor.