A Place of His Own (4 page)

“You look like your
mamm
,” Aunt Vera said, swiping a thick finger underneath her lower lashes. “Heavens, I miss my sister. It's
gut
to have you back, Josiah.” She drew him to her and enveloped him in her fleshy arms, then released him. “John's in the shop. I'm sure he'll be just as excited to see you.
Geh
, and I'll bring you some fresh iced tea.”

“
Danki
,” Josiah said, then left the expansive front porch and walked around the back of the house to his uncle's buggy and harness shop. Glancing around at the well-kept property with its large white house, barn, huge storage shed, and attached shop, he realized not much had changed here. The Yoders' property remained in its usual pristine condition. Not a single leaf or twig could be found on the black asphalt driveway that connected all three buildings, which were surrounded by perfectly manicured grass. A stab of envy went through him. Even when things hadn't been so bad at home, his family's property had never looked like this.

The knot in his stomach re-formed as he approached the door to the shop. He hoped his uncle would react with the same welcoming attitude as his aunt, but he couldn't be sure.

As he pulled open the door, the familiar tinkle of the bell above the door frame rang out. He scanned the room, which, like everything else he'd seen since his return, seemed to stand still in time. The shop had two sections. He stood in the front “office” where his uncle and cousin dealt with customers and showed them pictures of buggies and samples of paint, leather, and upholstery fabric. In the larger back room, secluded from the public, the buggies and harnesses were made.

The office was empty, and Josiah assumed they were all working in the back. He walked over to a small counter and ran his hand over the binder that held the pictures of his uncle's handiwork. Flipping it over, he glanced at the photos of a variety of Amish buggies, memories once again flooding over him. He recalled the times he had been allowed to help his uncle in the shop.

“Can I help you?”

Josiah looked up to see a tall, broad-shouldered young man walk into the office, wiping black grease off his hands with an old rag. The man's blue eyes narrowed. Josiah stood face-to-face with his cousin Peter, the one person in Paradise he knew for sure wouldn't welcome him back.

Peter's expression reflected the wariness Josiah felt. “What are you doing here?” Peter asked, tossing the rag on the counter. “We all thought you were gone for
gut
.”

“Nice to see you too.” Josiah held his temper, not an easy thing to do since there was no love lost between the two cousins. As far back as he could remember, Peter had seemed to resent him. Apparently time hadn't softened those feelings.

“Peter, do you need some—”

Josiah focused his attention on the man who entered the room. The short, stocky Amish man held his gaze for a moment before his face broke into a wide grin. “Josiah!” He crossed the room and wrapped his nephew in a big hug.

The knot of tension completely released as he embraced his uncle.

Uncle John stepped away, his gaze taking in Josiah from head to toe. His smile remained in place, causing deep crinkles to form around his light blue eyes, eyes that were identical to Peter's. “I've missed you,
sohn
.”

Josiah thought he saw tears behind the man's large, wire-framed glasses. “I missed you too.”

“Peter, watch the shop for me.” Without looking at his son, John clapped an arm around Josiah's shoulders. “Your cousin and I have a lot of catching up to do.”

Josiah didn't miss the resentment in Peter's eyes. But to his cousin's credit, he simply nodded and said, “
Ya, Daed
.”

John led Josiah to the main house. Once inside they went to the kitchen and found Aunt Vera placing amber-colored glasses of iced tea on a wicker tray. “We can talk here,” John said, gesturing to one of the wooden chairs at the polished kitchen table.

Josiah sat down, and Aunt Vera placed a glass of tea in front of him. She put her hand on Josiah's shoulder and squeezed. He glanced up and met her soft gaze. “
Danki
,
Aenti
Vera.”

She smiled. “Are you hungry, Josiah? I can whip you up something for breakfast. Or since it's close to lunch, perhaps you'd like a sandwich. I have some honey-roasted ham in the icebox, and the most delicious Swiss cheese you've tasted in your life. We picked it up at the Stoltzfuses' when we were there last week.”

Although Josiah had skipped breakfast, he shook his head. “
Nee
. The tea will be enough,
danki
.”

She nodded and handed her husband his drink. After giving Josiah one last smile, she left the room.

Josiah took a long swallow of the perfectly sweetened tea, letting the cold liquid slide down his throat. John leaned forward, his eyes filled with intensity. “I guess you got my letter?”

“
Ya
. It came a couple weeks ago.”

“When did you get back?”

“Last night.”

“Took me awhile to find you, Josiah. We haven't heard from you since you left. I suppose there's a
gut
reason for that.”

Josiah nodded but didn't say anything. He had his reasons for not contacting anyone after leaving Paradise, reasons he wouldn't share with anyone, not even his uncle.

“There's been a couple people interested in the property. David Graber mentioned a real estate agent snooping around a few months back, asking questions about it. As I'm sure you know already, it's a sight. David tried to keep up with it, but it became too much for him after a while. He has his own family and property to mind first, and I haven't had much of a chance to go over there like I wanted.”

“I appreciate David's help,” Josiah said. “And I'm glad you contacted me. To be honest, I hadn't thought about the house in a long time.”

John removed his straw hat and placed it on the table, revealing his salt-and-pepper hair, molded in the shape of the crown of his hat. “What did your
daed
say about you coming back here?”

“He passed away two years ago.”

“
Ach
, Josiah.” John sounded distressed. “I had no idea. I'm so sorry for your loss.”

Josiah stared at his hands cupping the glass. “
Danki
,” he said, his voice barely audible.

“What happened?”

“Got sick. How do I get in touch with the folks interested in the house?”

John hesitated, then finally said, “David might know the name of the realty company. You could ask him. You could probably sell it as is, but I thought you might want the opportunity to get what the house and land are worth. If it's your intent to sell.”

“It is.”

“All right. If you need any help, let me know. If I can't be there, I'll send Peter.”

“I'm fine. I'm not afraid of a little work.”

“A little?” John shook his head, letting out a chuckle. “I'd say a little is a huge understatement. But then again, you always were a hard worker. Dependable, always did a
gut
job for me when you helped out here in the shop.”

Josiah warmed at the compliment. It had been so long since someone in his family had given him one. “I appreciated the opportunities you gave me to work here.”

John nodded. “Do you need any money, Josiah? To help pay for materials?”

“I'm
gut
. I have all the money I need.”

“How about a place to stay, then? We have plenty of room here. Can't imagine that place is fit to sleep in.”

“It's not that bad,” Josiah said. “Really, I'm fine.”

“Well, if you need anything, let me know.” He clapped Josiah on the shoulder. “We're family,
sohn
. Sometimes that's the only thing you can depend on.”

Josiah nodded, but he didn't share his uncle's view. If anything, family was the last thing he could depend on.

Amanda sprinkled powdered sugar over the pan of brownies she had baked earlier that day. She slid a sharp knife through the soft, chocolatey dessert, cutting it into even portions. Putting four pieces on a plate, she covered them with plastic wrap and placed the dish on the counter, then she walked over to the kitchen window and peered outside. From here she had a good view of Josiah's house. Dusk had arrived, and he still hadn't returned.

Through the window screen she could hear her family laughing and playing outside. Her
daed
had come home from work early and was outside with the rest of the children, playing a game of catch with the boys while the girls played on the swing set. Her
mamm
sat on a chair and watched the ruckus while she knitted a small, pale yellow cap for the baby. Taking advantage of the evening, the entire family had enjoyed a simple picnic outside with turkey sandwiches, homemade sweet pickles, and potato salad.

Taking one more glance at Josiah's house, she stepped away from the window. After covering the rest of the brownies, she quickly washed the dishes. She had hoped Josiah would be back by now. All day she had looked forward to his coming home so they could talk. They had ten years of conversation to catch up on. But as the hours passed, her disappointment and frustration grew. To be honest, her pride was a bit pricked as well. Maybe he wasn't as eager to catch up on things as she was.

After she dried the last dish and put it away, she wiped down the counters, intending to join her family outside. It was a beautiful evening, although slightly cool. She slipped on her sweater but decided not to wear shoes, anticipating the feel of the soft earth and cool grass between her toes.

Suddenly she heard the sound of a buggy approaching. Peering out the window again, her grin grew to full size. Josiah. He'd finally come home. She picked up the plate of four brownies and walked outside toward his house.

“Amanda!” From her seat in a white plastic lawn chair, Katharine motioned for her daughter to come toward her. When Amanda reached her, she asked, “Where are you going?”

“To take Josiah some of the brownies I made earlier.” She held up the plate.

“But he just got home. Maybe you should wait until tomorrow?”

Amanda frowned. “I won't be gone long,
Mamm
. I'm sure he would appreciate the treat.”

“Is that the only reason you're going over there?”

“What other reason would there be?”

Mamm
tilted her head. “To be nosy?”

Amanda sighed at her mother's knowing look. “Aren't you the least bit curious as to what he's been doing all this time? Where he moved to? How his father is doing?”

Her mother's expression grew serious. “Sometimes it's best to let things be, Amanda. If Josiah wants you to know those things, he'll tell you. On his own.”

“What do you mean?”

“I know you, Amanda Marie. And while you mean well, sometimes you can push too hard.”

“
Mamm
, I'm just going to take him some brownies, not give him the third degree.”

Katharine gave her a weary smile. “All right. Then you'd better get on over there, if you're going to go.”

Amanda nodded and turned. This wasn't the first time she'd been told she could be too pushy. It was a flaw she worked to correct, with varying degrees of success.

She strode over to the Bontragers' barn, the small rocks and dirt clods on the driveway poking into the bare soles of her feet. Josiah had his back to her as he unhitched his horse, the sleeves of his pale blue shirt rolled up a few inches above his elbows. His movements were efficient, and she could hear him speaking in low tones to the horse as he took a moment to stroke her nose. She approached him quietly so as not to disturb the horse, then tapped him on the shoulder.

He jumped and spun around, nearly dropping the horse's reins. “Amanda! Don't sneak up on me like that!”

Amanda opened her mouth to speak, but the words fled her lips. She had thought him good-looking in the dim light of the barn last night and at a distance this morning, but now that she stood close to him, in the full light of evening, he was twice as handsome. His yellow straw hat was positioned low over his forehead, the brim shading his eyes but not obscuring them. She didn't remember their being that bright shade of green, a lighter shade than the grass tickling her toes. His tan face had a dark shadow of whiskers above his lip and on his jaw.

“Did you need something, Amanda?”

His impatient tone startled her. She looked up into his eyes again, which were flat, almost lifeless. An ache appeared in her chest. She had never seen anyone look so . . . empty.

“Here,” she said, holding out the plate of brownies, struggling to keep her tone steady. “I remembered how much you liked my brownies, so I made a pan today. Of course, I had to save most of them for my brothers and sisters, but I was able to spare a few.” She smiled, hoping to lighten his somber mood.

Instead, he frowned. “Brothers and sisters? I thought you only had one sister. She was born right before we left, I think. What was her name?”

“Hannah,” she said, a little hurt he didn't remember. “After you left,
Mamm
and
Daed
had five more children, and
Mamm
's expecting another one soon.”

His flat expression softened, but only a bit. “Seems they've been busy.”

She blushed. “
Ya
.”

He took the plate from her hand. “
Danki,
Amanda. That was mighty kind of you.”

“Don't mention it. I like to cook. Have you had supper yet?”

“
Nee
, but I'm not really hungry.”

“Josiah, you can't go without dinner. Tell you what, while you take care of the horse, I'll go inside and fix you something to eat.” Her anxiety lessened. The kitchen had always been her comfort zone.

“You don't have to do that—”