A Playboy's Love Affair (16 page)

Alex approached her. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

She put her suitcases on the floor “It doesn’t matter, you did anyway. Sorry, there’s no undo or rewind button here. Nothing that you say will make it go away. Now move out of my way please. I’m leaving.” Her voice cracked, that darn lump was breaking.

Alex stepped in front of her and grabbed one of her suitcases, obstructing her way. “You’re not leaving until we discuss this.”

Carly tightened her grip on the handle of her suitcases, looking him straight in the eye. “There’s nothing to discuss. I’m done here.”

“I’m not done with you yet.” He moved the suitcase off to the side.

She rubbed her temple, spun around in the opposite direction. “Then, when will you be?” she said, facing him again but from a safe distance. “How much longer until you grow bored of me? This doesn’t have to be hard. Come on Alex, I’m disappointed you’re even trying to put up a fight, that’s not your style.”

He ran a hand through his hair. “Dammit, Carly! You’re not even attempting to give me a chance. I’m making an effort to understand…to explain to you I don’t want you to leave.” Alex moved a step closer. “Isn’t that enough?”

Carly’s chin quivered, she couldn’t hold back those tears for much longer. “No. It’s not.”

“What do you want me to say? Profess undying love, say I want to marry you, have kids with you and live in a house with a white picket fence? Is that what you want me to say?” He regarded her. “I can’t make promises I don’t know I’ll be able to keep.” He closed the distance between them and gripped her arms.

Tears clouded her eyes. His words had done her in. “I’m not asking you to promise me anything. You’ve made it sufficiently clear your feelings are as cold and black as night, why, why would I ask you to promise me something like that or anything for that matter?” Carly glared at the door past him. “What’s that rule you have? Oh yeah that’s right: enchant them, seduce them, leave them.” Her gaze took in his shocked expression. “Yes, I know all about your rule, all women do. You’ve done well Alex, you got two of them right. You charmed me into your bed, you fucked me good while you were at it, but I’m the one leaving you.”

He brought her body closer to his, his lips were a breath away from hers. “Why, so you can go back running to Jay? Who according to you is your guy best friend?”

“I was starting to wonder why it’d taken you so long to go there. I knew you played dirty, Alex St. Jones. So, thank you for proving me right.” She paused. “If you must know, Jay’s everything you’re not. If he’d have me I wouldn’t hesitate to try out that kind of relationship with him.” Nothing would ever happen between her and Jay, theirs was strictly a friendship. Carly just wanted Alex to hurt as much as he’d hurt her.

“Please don’t play that card. You’re mine Carly.” His red-hot gaze on her let her know his words were a warning, but that wasn’t enough. What did he want from her? Obviously nothing serious, he’d said so himself. His actions, his words confused her.

“You can’t ever have what’s never been yours.” She shifted in his hold to no avail.

“What do you want from me, Carly?” he asked.

“Nothing. You can’t give me what I want. I want someone who’d love me as much as I would him. I want everything you don’t.” Her lips quivered as a tear rolled down her cheek.

“You’re scared and you’re running away because that’s easier to deal with than to deal with me, with whatever this is between us,” he said.

Another fat tear slid down her cheek. “Yes. You got that right. You wanna know why?” Her gaze moved from his lips to his eyes. “Because I love you and it hurts to know that you don’t.”

Alex dropped his arms down his sides as if her words had burnt him, his gaze never leaving her. Carly didn’t know what to make of his shocked expression. For a moment she swore he was about to say the same words back to her, that was probably wishful thinking on her part because he didn’t say anything. Instead, he walked to the tall window across the room.

Carly reached for her designer bag, took her suitcases and headed for the door.

“Please don’t leave.”

Carly stopped by the bedroom door. “Give me a reason why I should stay,” she said over her shoulder.

“Because we’re good together.”

Carly placed a hand on the doorframe, inclining her head. “That’s not good enough.” At his silent response she stole a side glance at him.

Alex breathed out as he closed his eyes and shoved his hands in his pants pockets. “You’re right. If I let you hang around I’m bound to lose my mind. Have a safe trip, Carly.” He turned his back to her.

Carly made it out of his chateau barely in one piece, if she stayed one second longer she wouldn’t be able to leave. She murmured a “thank you” to Leo for taking her to the airport at the last minute and got in the car while he put her suitcases in the trunk. Carly rested her back on the seat giving into the tears she couldn’t hold any more.

This wasn’t what she wanted but how much longer would it have lasted if she’d stayed? Setting him free was the way to go, then again, who was she kidding? Alex had always been a free agent. It was the other way around, he’d set her free.

Already, she didn’t know how to glue back together her shattered heart.

She stared out the window taking one last look at the place she’d been most happy at the last few weeks as it gradually disappeared from view.

****

Celebrity News!

Most sought after bachelor is single again!

“Hello there!” the Barbie look-alike entertainment anchor said. “In today’s breaking news, I am happy to report Alex St. Jones is single again!” She smiled at the camera. “Yes ladies. It looks like the lovebirds called it quits after their getaway to Cannes, France. Alex was spotted returning home alone. If you don’t believe me, just watch the clip.” She gestured to the screen in back of her where the video played.

The entertainment anchor caught Alex just as he was walking out of the airport. He put his shades on waiting for the pedestrian crossing signal to change. “Alex, how was your vacation?”

At his silent response, she followed him to his car throwing at him one question after another. No matter how provoking her questions were, he wouldn’t say a word or even look at her.

He tossed his carryon luggage in his trunk and walked to the driver’s door. The reporter finally asked, “Where’s Carly?”

Alex faced her. “Don’t you know?” He got in his car.

She stepped back so Alex wouldn’t run her over.

“Ooh, but the drama doesn’t end there! Check this out.” A new clip played showing Carly leaving her condo. “Will you be going back to Cannes any time soon?” the woman asked.

Carly quickened her pace.

“Do you have any plans to see Alex tonight?” the anchor said.

Carly smiled. “I don’t know who you’re talking about.” She opened the door to the coffee shop and strode in.

The entertainment anchor tossed her hair back. “There you have it. If that isn’t calling it quits then I don’t know what is.” She winked at the camera.

Chapter Nineteen

Alex hadn’t been back to L.A. in almost two months. After the three wonderful weeks he’d spent with Carly at the French Riviera, he’d decided to take a month to visit the new worksite where his resort concept would be built. He busied himself with work day in and day out, personally supervising the last minute details of the blueprints and modified design. Truth be told, Alex did anything that kept his mind completely occupied leaving no room for wandering thoughts about Carly. Unfortunately, no matter what he did or how exhausted he was, Carly was ever present in his mind.

Letting her leave his side took all his self-restraint. Alex wanted to chain her down, kiss her senseless until she saw reason, except he opted for the easiest yet hardest way out and let her go. That had been his worst mistake. Every time Alex closed his eyes at night Carly’s words came back to haunt him: I love you. Alex had wanted to be the one to say them first, but she’d beat him to it. Pleading, asking her to stay wasn’t the answer either. She threw it back in his face saying his reason wasn’t good enough. That was as good as he could give then. Besides, if that wasn’t good enough, what was?

For some time, Carly had been the biggest thorn on his side. Her refusal to everything Alex asked for only made him desire her more, then desire took root, becoming something else altogether. After Carly walked out on him, he realized his problem hadn’t been finding her, his real problem would be forgetting her. How could he, if her absence had left a hole that couldn’t be filled? An essential part of his body was amputated, taken away with no chance of it being replaced when she left.

Alex had never fallen in love before, and his first time ever he ended up with egg on his face, empty handed, without solace anywhere. Was this how all those women he’d seduced felt about him? Hell, but he’d been a jerk! He wouldn’t even wish this dull, constant pain on his worst enemy.

Alex hoped not to cross paths with Carly any time soon. He wasn’t ready to see her yet. Honestly, he didn’t think he’d ever be. The thought of seeing her in someone else’s arms made him sick to his stomach. Carly’s friendship with his best friend’s wife didn’t help either. They’d most likely still run into each other from time to time—at least at major family events because Alex had already planned to skip all the unimportant ones.

He missed her and would like nothing more than to see her, but keeping his mental health intact was important. In order to do so, he’d have to avoid her like the plague. Carly had left him with an open wound that could never be healed.

Alex breathed in slowly as he turned into Paul’s driveway. He was on his way home and thought last minute to stop by at Paul’s place so he could bring him up to speed on their local projects. After all, he’d been away longer than anticipated. It wasn’t as if anyone was waiting for him with open arms at home. Alex parked his car and walked up the steps to the entrance where the housekeeper let him in immediately advising him Paul and his wife were out on the terrace.

Alex stepped outdoors and halted mid-step. His throat went suddenly dry when he caught a glimpse of Carly smiling sweetly at Kiera. She looked as breathtaking as ever. How would he make it out of there before making a fool of himself? Paul spotted him and Alex resumed his step, meeting him halfway.

“Hey, I didn’t know you were back in town.” Paul shook his hand as he gave him a brotherly hug.

“I just got back. I wanted to get caught up on all the local projects. I should’ve called first before crashing your party.” Clearing the discomfort in his throat, he nodded toward the women.

“What happened to you? You never care about calling before you drop in.” Paul slapped him lightly on the back. “Come on, join us.”

Alex hesitated. “I’m not sure that’s a good thing to do. You know… Carly—”

Paul gazed at the women then back at his friend. “Alex, it’s fine. Trust me.”

Alex followed Paul.

“Hey stranger!” Kiera smiled, walking up to him and gave him a hug.

His gaze swiftly moved from Kiera to Carly. “Hey…”

“Hi.” Carly briefly met his eyes.

This was beyond awkward. He’d gone from kissing her in unseen places to a barely audible hello if one could call it that.

Carly focused her attention back on Kiera and Paul. “I have someplace to be and I’m already running a little behind. Congratulations on your great news. I’m very excited for you.” She extended her arms to hug Kiera. “Take good care of yourself, all right?” She hugged Paul next. “I’m counting on you too.” Then, over her shoulder she said, “Good seeing you, Alex.”

She wouldn’t dismiss him this time. Alex hadn’t planned to see her, hadn’t wanted to see her, not yet, but now that he had, it was impossible for him to let her go. Alex excused himself from Paul and Kiera and ran after Carly.

“Carly!” he called.

She quickened her pace.

“Darling, we need to talk.” He walked after her into the family room.

Carly faced him. “Alex I’m not your darling and there’s nothing we need to talk about.” She picked up her Burberry tote and strode in the direction of the door.

Alex stepped in, obstructing her way. “Sweetheart. Don’t be childish. We really need to talk.” This time, he wouldn’t think twice about chaining her down if it came to that. It didn’t matter if they were at Paul’s home or not. She’d hear him out.

Carly sidestepped him, but he moved just in time in front of her. He grasped her hands. “Can we please talk?”

“Why? Let it go Alex. I have.” Her tone lacked the warmth he’d grown so accustomed to.

“I’d like to see you this weekend.” There had to be a way to persuade her to talk to him, to let him see her. He didn’t know what exactly he’d say, or how to go about saying it. If somehow Alex could find the words to explain how he really felt things would be so much easier, but that was too much to ask for. It wouldn’t be that easy.

“I have plans.” Carly yanked her hands from his grasp. She lost the hold on her bag’s handles, letting it drop between them. Her bag fell upside down on the floor and all its contents scattered around their feet. “Dammit, Alex,” she muttered, kneeling on the floor.

Alex went down on his knee to help her collect her items. “What will it take to get you to talk to me?” He handed her a box of color pencils, tissues and a chocolate bar.

“Please don’t touch anything.” She put up her hands. “I’ll take care of it.”

Alex continued collecting her scattered belongings. Was she nervous? Carly was never nervous around him. She always argued with him, pointed out all his faults and tried to best him every time she got a chance. “Carly, I’ve been think—” He frowned at the contents in his hand. “What’s this?”

Carly angled her head to look at the items he held. “Oh s...” she uttered, snatching the three unused pregnancy tests in his hand. She tossed them in her bag, springing to her feet forgetting the other items still on the floor. Carly took a step toward the door, but Alex grabbed her arm, halting her mid-step.

“Are you pregnant? Is it mine?”

“So like you to say something like that, I wouldn’t have expected anything else.” She yanked her arm.