A Real Cowboy Knows How to Kiss (20 page)

Steen shrugged. "Yeah, well, I was there—"

"My name is Betsy Smith. That's my son whose life you saved," she said. "I will never be able to express in words how grateful I am to you. I know Pointer made a mistake that got him sent prison, but you gave him the opportunity for a second chance. He's already making plans for when he gets out. He's learned his lesson, and it's because of you, so thank you, from the bottom of my heart."

Steen leaned his head back against the seat, watching the cars cross the intersection. "You don't care that he broke the law?"

"Of course I care, but I still love him with every last bit of my heart, and I'll hug him until the end of time when he gets home again. He's my son. You never stop loving your children, no matter what. And now you're in my heart as well, forever and ever."

His throat tightening unexpectedly at the kind words, Steen drummed his fingers on the dashboard, unsettled by the discussion, and by the warmth of this woman he'd never met. He thought of his mother, who had walked out without looking back. He had to accomplish his task and then get off the phone. He wasn't used to this kind of conversation. "Is um, Thomas there, by any chance?"

"He's not, Steen, I'm so sorry. He went golfing today, and left his phone here. I thought this might be him trying to find it. I'm sure the man thinks it's lost forever. He never keeps track of this thing. Honestly, he's hopeless." Despite her words, Betsy's voice was warm with affection that made Steen think of Erin and how he felt about her. "What do you need, Steen? I might be able to help."

Suddenly, he felt stupid. What kind of person called a random stranger to ask for help? "Nothing. I was just checking to see how Pointer's doing."

"He's great, but that's not why you called," Betsy said. "I've been married for too many years, and I've raised four boys. I know what it sounds like when a man needs something and is too damned stubborn to ask for help. What do you want? I know it's not money, but we still owe you, so tell me."

The stoplight ahead of him turned green, but Steen didn't drive. Instead, he said the words he never thought he'd say. "I need some help finding someone. I don't have the resources or the contacts, but I thought maybe—"

"Thomas knows people," she said briskly. He could hear paper rustling as if she were preparing to write it down. "Who do you want to find?"

A car behind him honked, but he ignored it, his fingers tightening around the phone. "Her name is Alice Marie Rivers." He took a deep breath. "She's my mother."

"Great job today, Dr. Chambers."

"Thanks, Molly." Erin wearily summoned a smile at the surgical assistant passing through the locker room as she was finishing changing after surgery. "I appreciate your help." She was tired, so tired, after the seven-hour surgery. Long surgeries were always draining, but this time, it was worse. She felt as though it had sucked every last bit of her reserves from her. It was all she could do not to simply sink down on the floor and not move ever again. It was her first surgery since her trip to Wyoming. The goal of the trip had been to rejuvenate her, giving her back the zest for life, and for
her
life in particular, but it hadn't. Despite the success of the operation, she felt the same lack of satisfaction that she'd felt before she'd left. Actually, it wasn't the
same
lack of satisfaction as before. Now, it was more like a gaping sense of meaningless misery, which was definitely not the step up she'd been hoping for.

Being away hadn't made her life better. It had made it worse, so much worse, because now she had something to compare it to: the freedom, the independence, the romance, and the realness of Wyoming. And, of course, Steen.

Now, her beautiful home on the tree-lined street felt empty and silent without Steen there to grab her hips and molest her while she was trying to make coffee. The air felt barren and arid without the scent of horses and ranch rolling through her windows. Her patient today had been under anesthesia from the first moment to the last, so she'd never had the chance to "have a chat with it" as Steen would have done so well. It had simply been a clinical procedure, and she felt like she hadn't made any kind of meaningful difference at all, except to the wealthy owners who were hoping she could save their horse so they could continue to make money off him.

She'd been home for almost three days, and she hadn't been able to stop thinking about Steen, her phone clutched in her hand constantly, waiting for him to call and say he was on his way from the airport.

But she hadn't heard from him. Not a call, not a text, and not an email.
You are my everything.
She knew she was, which is why she hadn't really believed that he would let her walk away. When she'd told him to come after her, she'd truly thought he would.

But he hadn't.

He'd let her go, just as Louis had, and her parents. It had hurt when Louis had left. It had been devastating to grow up with parents who simply didn't care about her. But knowing that Steen was going to let her go…it hurt so deeply she felt like her heart would never again be whole.

She sighed, too tired to think. She just wanted to go home and crawl into bed. Maybe she would cancel her surgery for tomorrow. It wasn't as if she was in any shape to concentrate—

"It's my honor to assist you," Molly said cheerfully, dragging her back into the present. "Congratulations on Rising Star. It's incredible, what you did."

Erin rubbed her temples, trying not to think about how much her head was hurting. "Rising Star?" The name sounded vaguely familiar, but she was too tired to care or think. She just wanted to go home and figure out how she had gone so wrong.

Molly's eyes widened. "You didn't hear? He won the Kentucky Derby today. His career was over before you operated on him, and now he won. The procedure you did saved his career. You're going to be famous now, even more than you already are."

Erin stared at Molly, processing what she'd just said. She recalled very clearly the procedure Molly had mentioned. It had been controversial and risky, but the owner of the horse had been willing to try anything to save his investment and give the animal a chance to live up to his bloodlines. The horse had survived the surgery and recovered, but then she'd lost track of him. He'd turned out to be the winner of the Kentucky Derby, one of the most significant races around?
Wow.
"Really? When did this happen?"

"Earlier today. The owner told the press all about the surgery and how well it worked. He gave you full credit." Molly grinned. "You're going to have to open your own surgery center, Doc. There won't be space for all your cases here."

"Wow." Erin sank down onto a bench, her legs starting to tremble from exhaustion. "He told people?" She wasn't used to that. She wasn't used to anyone being proud of her. Well, anyone except Steen, who'd been proud of her simply for saving a bird. "Really?"

"Watch the news. You'll see." Molly paused with her hand on the doorknob. "You want to come out for a drink with us? To celebrate?"

Erin's heart tightened at the invitation. It was the first time she'd ever been invited by her staff. A part of her wanted to go, but at the same time, she knew she didn't belong. They were all so much younger, single, and from a different life than she was. But still, the invitation felt good. Really good. "No, thanks. Not today. Jet lag. I need to sleep. But try again next time?" Maybe next time she'd be ready to step out and try. Just not tonight. Tonight, she was still under the spell of Wyoming, Steen, and the kind of love she'd always dreamed of.

Molly's grin widened. "You bet. Have a great night." She waved as she ducked out the door, leaving Erin alone.

Wearily, Erin stood up and walked over to the sink. She rested her hands on the counter and stared at herself in the mirror, studying the bags under her eyes and the lines around the corners of her mouth. Her hair was matted from the surgical cap, hanging limply around her. God, she looked haggard and bone-weary, not like a veterinarian who had just made history. Was she really the woman who'd innovated a new procedure for racehorses who had broken bones? She didn't feel special. She just felt ordinary and empty, like something so important had slipped out of her grasp and she had no idea how to retrieve it.

She noticed little lines around the corners of her eyes. Laugh lines? She doubted it. More like self-pity crow's feet. She looked older than she remembered seeing, but as she studied herself more closely, she began to notice other changes. Her skin was flushed, not as pale as usual, with maybe a hint of tan. Her hair had light brown streaks around the temples from being outside so much visiting the farms. Her hair was less perfect, even shaggy. She looked more outdoorsy, just the tiniest bit, than she used to be. And she'd opted to put on jeans after the surgery, instead of the pleated pants she usually wore.

So, a little different...but also, in a way worse. She looked even more tired than she had before her vacation, and she felt a thousand times emptier. She felt like the blue jeans and the streaks in her hair were teasers of the brief moments of happiness she'd had with Steen and the animals, already a part of her past.

She thought of the animals she'd met in Wyoming. She'd been bitten, stepped on, and kicked. But she'd also been licked, snuggled, and gently nibbled by the furry creatures she'd worked on. Watching Steen connect with his horse that first time they'd gone riding had been so beautiful. She might know how to heal their bones, but he could heal their hearts, if only he would try. During her short vacation, she'd cried over Steen, she'd discovered passion, and she'd hugged animals who were scared of her. It had been dirty and real, completely unplanned and unpredictable...and now she was back to a life that was as sterile as her operating room.

That wasn't supposed to happen. The trip to Wyoming had been to restore her and revitalize her so she could return to her life with fresh energy and excitement. Instead, she hated being here. "Damn you, Steen," she whispered. "You showed me what my life could be like, and then you walked away."

Her phone rang. Excitement leapt through her. Had Steen seen the news and called her? She grabbed her purse and dug her phone out of it. One glance at the screen, and her heart congealed in her chest. It wasn't Steen. It was
Louis
. Her ex-husband hadn't called her since they'd finished their negotiations and finalized their divorce, except to tell her that he was coming to her family's Christmas party with his new girlfriend and he hoped she'd be okay with it.

She'd skipped the dinner.

The phone buzzed again, and she hit decline to send it to voicemail. Never again would she let him into her life.

She set the phone down and grabbed her bag to head out. As she was reaching for her purse, her cell rang again. This time, she wasn't foolish enough to have hope that it was Steen. She glanced at the screen as she was about to drop it into her purse, then stopped when she saw her dad's name on the screen.

She stared in shock at it. Her dad never called her.
Ever.
Not since the divorce, when she'd failed to hang onto her worthy husband. Her heart suddenly tightened. First Louis and then her dad? Had something happened to her mother? She grabbed the phone and answered. "Dad?"

"I think congratulations are in order." His voice boomed over the phone. "The
New York Times
has already called to talk to you. You've revolutionized equine surgery, my dear. Louis is with me, and he's been doing the interviews for you until you could get here. We're so impressed. Come to the house. We're hosting reporters here. We'll see you in ten minutes?"

"What?" She gripped the phone, trying to process. The
Times
was really interested in
her
? "Are you serious?"

"Dead serious." His voice dropped to a whisper. "Why didn't you tell me that you modified my approach to use on the horses? It was brilliant, Erin.
Brilliant
. There is huge money involved in racehorses, and you just cornered the market. Well done, my dear,
well done.
Hang on a sec. Louis wants to talk to you."

"Louis?" Her fingers tightened on the phone. Had her dad really just said "
well done"
to her? "I don't want to—"

"Erin?" Her ex-husband's slick voice made her stomach congeal. "Hey, congratulations. Great job today. I'm at your parents' house. I'd love to take you to dinner after the press conference. I want to learn more about your procedure. It's incredibly innovative and bold. I had no idea you were working on that. I'm so proud of you."

I'm so proud of you.

The words she'd been longing to hear her entire life, and now she had it. From her dad, from Louis, from everyone she'd been trying to impress for so long. She was too shocked to say anything. All she could do was hold onto the phone. It had taken public accolades and a legion of reporters, but she'd done it. She'd finally proved herself worthy.

"Erin?" Her dad came back on the line. "You coming over? I have more reporters coming. Can you be here in ten minutes? You did it, babe.
You did it."

She'd done it.
"Okay," she finally said. "I'll be over in ten minutes."

Steen's cowboy boots thudded on the wood as he walked up the front steps of Chase's ranch house. His brother had been home for half a day with his fiancée, just enough time for Steen to pack up his belongings. He was ready to go. Where, he didn't know, but he had to leave. The bunkhouse was filled with too many memories of Erin, and he couldn't stay there any longer.

He missed her so damn much that he couldn't even breathe. He'd lasted ten minutes in the bed they'd shared, and had spent the rest of the nights sleeping on a horse blanket on the floor of the bunkhouse. His back hurt like hell, which brought back memories of the fear he'd lived in when he'd first broken it, which really wasn't helping his mood.