A Rebel In The Roses (Black Rebel Riders' MC Book 8) (11 page)

13

Rebel

I sent Truth home about an hour ago. I’m still sitting in the office pouring over Grim’s phone records. He’s made a lot of calls to Daytona recently. Truth ran the number, and it comes back to Manny Martinez, president of Crow’s Rebels, an MC we deal with from time to time. Been awhile since we’ve had any arrangements with them.

I’m missing something. I go over his internet history again. Seems he looked up the phone number for a garage in Miami, Willard And Sons Customs.

It’s too late to put in a call tonight. I’ll find out what he wanted and who he wanted it from tomorrow. I shut off Truth’s computer and lock it in the bottom drawer of the desk.

I flip off the lights and lock the door. I trudge up the stairs about too damn tired to make the drive home, but I can’t sleep anywhere but in my own bed next to my wife.

I see my little brother’s truck in the parking lot out front. He’s made his choice.
I smile. He’s a good kid, just needs some guidance.

I’m gonna be the brother to JT that I wasn’t to Striker.

However, JT isn't a stand in or a replacement for the brother I lost.

I know I done wrong.

And if I find out Striker is alive, I’m going to find him and repair what I broke between us.

As I’m driving home, I can't help but think about life.

Just when you think you finally have it all figured out you hit a bump and
bam,
everything is thrown off kilter. Everything you thought you knew doesn’t mean a damn thing.

What’s it all been for? The lies, the hurt, the deaths? What did it all accomplish in the end? I think back on everything I have been through up to this point in my life.

I can’t think back on it all and not think of Striker and Baby—Sarah.

Sarah, I try not to think of her often. It sounds funny, but thinking of her makes me feel as though I am cheating on Chelle. My wife would laugh; she knows I was married before her.
Hell
, I cheated on my wife at the time with her. And yet she knows I’d never do the same to her.

Sarah though…damn she didn’t deserve what happened to her. Grim told me about Betty and her part in it all, how she hired a man to kill Sunshine. He took the wrong life, not that I would want Sunshine dead, but if it would bring back Sarah, I wouldn’t think twice. I know Grim killed her for it, but what I wouldn’t give to have been able to make her pay.

Her actions cost us all a lot.

Her actions set a lot in motion.

I never would have fired that gun.

I never would have hurt my brother, my best friend.

So what did we suffer through all this hell for?

When I get home and pull up to my house, the house I built for Chelle and the kids I have my answer—family.

At the end of the day it all comes back to family.

I step up on the porch and unlock the door. Walking inside, I see my gorgeous Chelle Belle asleep on the couch waiting for me.

After removing my shoes, I go over and wipe her hair from her face. She stirs a little smacking my hand away.

I kiss her cheek. “Go get in the bed.”

“It’s about time you rolled in. Everything okay?” She wipes her eyes and yawns. Sitting up she pulls a Hot Wheel from under her ass.

“Yeah, I think it will be,” I tell her.

She yawns again. “Did you eat?”

I shake my head, and she is already padding across the floor to the kitchen quiet as a mouse trying not to wake the kids.

I sit at the table while she heats up my food.

“I’m going on the road soon. I don’t know for how long. I don’t know where the road will lead me.”  I watch my wife, not sure of the response I am going to get.

Most women would probably throw the plate at my head but not Chelle.

She sits my plate down in front of me then takes the seat next to me.

Her lack of communication is alarming. She’s silent and that’s more serious than any threat she could ever make. Chelle isn’t a quiet woman. When she’s pissed she lets me know it.

When I take a bite of my food I know why she’s quiet, but I won’t give her the satisfaction of a reaction. I chew slowly pretending I don’t taste the heap of garlic she put on my spaghetti. At first glance it looks like parmesan cheese.

A coy smile tugs at the corners of her mouth, she wants to laugh, her lips twitch, but she would rather die first, she still wants to be mad.

I wipe my mouth and take a drink of my beer that tastes like hot piss. I almost ask if it is piss, but she wouldn’t be that spiteful. Well…I don’t
think
she would.

“This trip is important. I wouldn’t go if it wasn’t.”

“I know that.” She gets up from the table and returns with a different plate. “Here.” She slams it down in front of me and it nearly breaks.

“What, this one have hot sauce?”

“No!
That
was for missing supper.” She smirks so pleased with herself.

I can only laugh. She’s bat shit crazy, but she’s
mine
.

“I found something.” I pause to make sure she is paying attention. She takes her seat and I grab her hand. “I think my brother is alive. Baby and Colt too.”

My wife squeezes my hand. “And you want to go find him, all of them?”

“I have to—I have to know.”

“I understand, if it were my sorry ass brothers, I’d want to know if they were out there. When are you leaving?” Her eyes fall, I know she isn’t happy with me.

I can see she’s trying not to cry; she is always so strong for me.

“I haven’t decided but soon. Not sure if I want to wait for Grim to get back or just go.”

“What do you want to do? Where do you think he is?”

“If I didn’t have you and the kids, I’d already be gone.” She winces. I didn’t mean it as an insult, but I think she knows that. “He’s in Florida. At least, I think that’s where he is.”

“Why don’t you just fly down? It’d be a lot faster,” she suggests.

“You sure?”

“If you fly you’ll be back sooner.” She smiles faintly, and I kiss her knuckles. “You call and get your ticket squared away and I’ll pack you a bag.”

“No funny business,” I warn. “I don’t want to get down there and only have one of your bras or some shit to wear.”

She laughs. “Now why would you go and give me an idea like that.”

“
Woman!
”

She blows me a kiss and disappears to our bedroom.

Chelle knows me hitting the road at any time has always been a possibility, but this is the first time I’ve really gone. All the other times I found a way to get out of traveling. I would send someone in my place, but this is something I have to do myself.

I call the closest airport, it’s about an hour drive away. They have a flight to Orlando early in the morning, and I can get a rental car to make the drive to Miami once I land.

I send a quick text to Truth and Stone, telling them they have the club until Grim returns.

I go to each of my children’s rooms and watch them sleep, making sure to kiss them all.

I’m going to miss them. I’ve not gone one day without seeing them.

I take a minute to leave Miracle a note. I don’t want her to think I have deserted her too. She isn’t good with goodbyes. Even though she’s ten years old now, she hasn’t lost her attachment to me.

Miracle,

Baby girl, daddy had to go on a trip, but I’ll be home soon. Mind your momma and take care of your brothers and your sister.

All my love,

Daddy

In my bedroom, I find my bag packed and my wife sitting on the edge of the bed. When she sees me she wipes her tears away quickly.

“
Hey.
” I go down on my knees in front of her taking her hands in mine. “I’ll be back before you have a chance to miss me.”

“Probably, I don’t know why you don’t go on the road more often. I can’t wait for you to go so my boyfriend can come over,” she teases and I growl.

I barrel her onto the bed and cage her under my arms peppering kisses down her throat. Her legs circle around my waist, and I undo my zipper needing to have her before I go.

She eases my jeans over my hips, and I lift her nightshirt up over her stomach to find she isn’t wearing any panties.

Goddamn,
I have the sexiest wife ever.

I slide into her with ease and she tightens around me. After three kids and all these years, she’s still the only woman I want to lose myself in.

Chelle has shown me what it really means to love.

I look her into her eyes and say, “I wish I didn’t have to go.” If it were anyone else, I wouldn’t.

“I know,” she whispers arching up off the bed urging me to go deeper.

I spread my hands over her torso loving every inch of her.

Just when I am about to get off a tiny knock sounds at the door.

I cap my hand over Chelle’s mouth hoping if we don’t answer, whichever kid it is will go away, and I can finish making love to my wife.

I pull out and push back in. I’m so close,
so fucking close
.

“Knock.”

Thrust.

“Knock.”

Thrust.

“Daddy, open the door!”

Fuck.

“In a minute princess, Daddy is changing clothes.”

Chelle giggles as I try like hell to get off.

Then I hear, “Why is mommy laughing?”

Damn it to hell
. I pull my jeans up, and Chelle scoots under the covers.

I stomp over to the door pissed the hell off and sling it open.

Little Miss Harley is standing with her hands on her hips. “Took long enough.” She shoves past me and goes straight to Chelle curling up in the bed next her momma.

I shake my head and go to the bathroom for a quick shower. I need to get to the airport any damn way.

Ten minutes later, when I am toweling off, Chelle slips into the bathroom and drops to her knees to take care of me, before I go.

14

JT

I wake up forgetting where I am or who I am with, until Kimmie yawns.

“Good morning sleepyhead,” she singsongs.

“Mornin,” I mumble trying to get fully awake.

I roll over and kiss her cheek before excusing myself to the bathroom. I gotta drain my lizard. I put my Hulk boxers on and grab my phone. It’s early, not even seven yet.

In the bathroom I take a deep breath and check my phone to see what kind of hell I am going to catch from Dawn.

I don’t have any messages or missed calls.

That’s so not like her, but I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Today is a new day, and I am ready to move forward with my life.

I finish up in the bathroom and return to Kimmie to find that she’s already gone.

Damn,
that stings more than it should.

I feel a bit used.

I feel like a damn chick.

I get dressed and debate on going to find her.

Memories of the night we shared come to the forefront of my mind. My only thought is, I wish I would’ve taken a chance back in the day and took her for myself.

Making my way down the backstairs I find her in the kitchen cooking breakfast.

Watching her move around the kitchen is cute. The radio is playing, and she is swinging her hips as she sings and cracks eggs into a mixing bowl.
Adorable
.

Sneaking up behind her, I hug her waist resting my head on the crook of her shoulder. She shrugs me off.

Okay...did I do something wrong. I try to think as I step back to give her the space she wants.

“I had a good time last night. Did you?” I sink my hands in my pockets and rock back on the balls of my feet feeling awkward as hell.

“I’m glad,” she responds brushing me off continuing to cook for the club.

“Well, see ye around I guess. Come see me if you want to get inked.”

“I will. Bye JT,” she dismisses me casually, wounding my pride.

Maybe I suck in bed. Granted I didn’t have much experience until Dawn, but still, I thought she—Kimmie was having fun last night.

Guess I thought wrong.

I don’t know how to take her blowing me off after what I thought was such an incredible night.

I hop in my truck and drive to my apartment, so I can grab a bite to eat and catch a shower before opening the shop.

All through the day I can’t concentrate. I’m trying to work on some new designs and I can’t keep from checking my phone. It isn’t like Dawn to not at least respond and tell me to fuck off or something.

I hope she's okay.

She was so damn upset last night. Sunshine,
that
woman was livid, I wasn’t about to step on her damn toes.

I should probably just let it all go but I can’t. Especially after the way Kimmie was this morning.

I had that feeling that my brother talked about. I thought maybe she was the one I was supposed to be with. After knowing her most of my life and us winding up together in bed, I thought we could try and see where it could all lead.

However, her actions and attitude tell me exactly where we are headed, nowhere.

I send a text to Dawn.

JT: Look I know a text wasn’t the best way to say what I needed to get off my chest, but I’m here at the shop. Are you okay? A simple yes or no will do. Holla at me as soon as you get this.

I go about my day with no response. I would drive over when I close up, but I don’t want Sunshine threatening me with the cops again.

Kimmie

Waking up next to JT was the best thing in the world. It was like a dream. I wish there was a bubble I could hide him and me in forever, but that isn’t real. That's just a fantasy.

I know my place and I know his. He will learn soon enough.

We definitely had a spark that I wish we could explore, but I know that wouldn’t be safe. I’d only hurt us both if I encouraged him. I’m a clubwhore and he’s a potential. We’re the lowest on the chain.

I don’t want him falling in love with me and having to see me fuck other men. These men saved me from a life of hell. I owe them. They take care of me and I take care of them.

JT doesn’t even know me anymore.

I’m not the girl I used to be.

I’m not that innocent girl he kissed in seventh grade.

I’ve seen a lot of shit and I’ve been through a lot of shit.

I know the way the world works.

It’s broken and ugly.

Nothing comes for free.

The club is paying for me to go to nursing school. It isn’t cheap. I’m on summer break right now, but as soon as classes start up I wouldn’t have time for JT anyway.

In the early morning I will be up making sure the guys are fed, then I will be off to class and back here again, to do whatever is needed of me. Whether it be fetching beers or taking dick—it’s a price I’m willing to pay to make something of myself.

Acting like a cold bitch to him nearly killed me.

I couldn't give him the wrong idea though.

I couldn’t let him believe that he stands a chance.

Once I knew he was gone, I had the breakdown I needed. I went into the storage closet and I cried. I cried for the man I’ll never get to love. I cried for the things I have done to get what I want. I cried for the boy and girl we used to be. The carefree kids who didn’t know a damn thing about kissing.

The smoke detector sounded snapping me out of my breakdown.

Now I am back in the kitchen smothering the biscuits I burned in butter, pretending I didn’t just throw away the realest thing I could have ever had. Pretending I didn’t throw away a chance at real love.

Stone comes into the kitchen and kisses my neck. His lips on me makes me feel so dirty and cheap. It wouldn’t have bothered me at all before, before JT.

Stone is an original member of the club, one of the founding brothers or so he says. I wouldn't really know. I’ve not been here long. Just long enough to know my place and know it well.

Stone has taken a shine to me, he’s just coming off a divorce and likes to have a good time.

“Did you show the boy a good time last night? I saw the way you were making eyes at him. I didn't like it. Now that you know what the difference is between a man and a boy, I don’t expect to see you flirting with him again.”

I swallow and manage a weak smile, hoping it's enough to please him.

His hand comes around my front and he cups my pussy. “This is gonna be all mine ye feel me?”

“I feel you,” I say hoping my voice isn’t cracking. I hope JT stays away. He will if he knows what’s good for him.

Stone isn’t a bad man or anything, but he isn’t JT. He’s all man and grit. JT is the boy I have always wanted, soft and sweet.

“Fix me a plate then join me upstairs.”

“I need a shower first,” I tell him buying me some time, I hope. I’m not ready to be with anyone else just yet. I’m not ready to be rid of JT’s scent on my skin, I don’t want Stone to replace his tender touch.

“Still wet with his cum are ye? Well make it fast. I don’t want to be kept waiting, long.”

“Give me twenty minutes,” I say back to him, hoping to appease him. He leaves with his plate and a grunt.

Dawn

Stuck in my room with nothing to do, I debate on trying to go out my window. Sunshine locked me in my room and when I open my blinds I see that she boarded my window. I heard her leave with Jamie and Patrick a few minutes ago. Jamie has an orthodontist appointment, and I guess she was afraid I’d convince Patrick to spring me from my cell.

I keep replaying the kiss we shared and comparing it with kissing JT. Both guys are great, but there's something inside Patrick that calls to me, as though his heart is singing for mine.

I don’t know what to do. JT really is such a good guy. I know he’d be good to me, but I also know he’s getting sick of the way I act.

He doesn't understand the heaviness that weighs me down.

He doesn’t understand what being here does to me.

I scan my bookshelf trying to find a book to escape in, but none of them are appealing to me.

Fuck this!
I am getting out of this room. I’m not Sunshine’s prisoner.

I get up and start searching through my room for something to unlock the door with.

Bingo, I find a screwdriver from when I was putting together my bookcase.

Surveying the door, I see the hinges are on this side.

Sunshine thinks she is so smart.

We’ll just see about that.

The first hinge is easy however, the bottom one not so much. One of the screws is stripped, but I’m not giving up. I push my shoulder into the cheap wood and it gives after two pushes. Splintering from the frame as it falls into the hall. I squeeze through.

I go straight to my dad’s room to find my phone. It’s laying on top of the dresser. I jump up and down so proud of myself.

Once my phone powers on I see missed messages from JT.

The first one is him breaking up with me.
For real
, he’s gonna
dump
me in a text message?
Ugh!
I hate guys. I should just become a lesbian. It’d be easier, at least I’d know what a bitch was thinking.

I go to his newest message. He’s worried about me. I knew he cared. See he’s a good guy.

I fire off a text.

Honey: I’m fine, that crazy bitch can’t keep me down for long. So we’re broke up huh? Glad to see I meant so much to you. Wow, you’re a real dick you know that! It’s cool though. I’m sure one of your friends will gladly replace you. See ya around. Prick.

JT: Dawn don’t be that way. You know we don’t work. We want different things. You need to get your head on straight. Don’t go borrowing trouble. You have enough of it as it is on your own. 

I start to reply, but I decide against it, let him sit and stew. I text his friend, Will. He knows how to have a good time.

Honey: Hey you, long time no talk. I’m looking to score a bag and have a good time. If you aren’t busy come pick me up.

I comb Sunshine’s drawers for money, I know she keeps some tucked away for rainy days.

It’s not raining but I’m in need of a good time.

I go into the kitchen while I wait for him to text me back and pop open one of my dad’s beers. I hate the taste but with the way I’m feeling
anything
will do.

My phone pings with a message from Will.

Will: Hey you, yeah been a few weeks, you still with JT?

Honey: Nope, newly single ready for a good time. You gonna show me one?

Will: Hell yeah darlin. Name the time and place.

Honey: You know where I live right?

Will: Yeah...behind the roadhouse?

Honey: That’s the place, but I don’t want you to pick me up here. There’s a turnoff hidden out of the way, about a half mile before you get here. I’ll be there in about twenty minutes.

Will: See you soon. I already have some party favors.

I smile.

Eat that JT.

See…replaceable.

Moving on to the next.

I run to the bathroom, make sure I look decent, and slip on my tennis shoes.

I go out the backdoor so no one sees me slipping off to the backroad. No one hardly uses it.

Mosquitoes bite at my legs as I walk through the brush. I realize now that no one has used this road in a long while with how overgrown it is. As I'm walking something weird catches my eye. There’s a car. Taking a closer look, I remember this car, it was Baby’s. The forest has taken over; weeds are sprouting through the rims. The rest of it is now covered in rust, bird shit, and moss. Such a shame. Baby
loved
that car so much.

It was such a pretty car too. I wonder if Grim would sell it? If I ever get back on my dad’s good side I will ask. Then again, I do have the ultimate bargaining chip, I know his secret, his dirty truth.

When I get to the end of the road Will is already waiting. The walk was a bit further than I anticipated and I was distracted by my investigating Baby’s car.

Will throws the door open to his Dodge Charger and says, “You ready gorgeous?”

Smoke is rolling out. He must have smoked a joint on the way over.

I slide into the leather bucket seat and his hand comes to a rest on my knee.

“You starting without me,” I tease.

“Wouldn't dream of it.” His hand inches further up my thigh.

His touch kind of gives me the creeps, he’s not JT, and he isn’t Patrick.

Thinking about those two only makes me feel guilty so I push those thoughts away, focusing my attention on getting numb.

Mute

Sunshine has been dragging Jamie and me all over town. She refused to let me stay at the trailer. Said I’d give in and let Dawn out of her room. She’s probably right. That girl seems to be one temptation I can’t ignore.