A Rose In Flanders Fields (32 page)

But the doctor hadn’t finished. I saw Lizzy catch his eye, and she reluctantly let go of my hand. ‘I’m going to tell Jack we won’t be long,’ she said, but she wouldn’t look at me. My clenched hands tightened until my short, ragged nails bit into my palms, and as the doctor picked up the forceps I knew the worst was far from over. The door closed quietly, the doctor leaned in and removed the cotton wad, and I took a deep breath and squeezed my eyes tightly shut.

Chapter Twenty-One

Dark River Farm, April 1917.

Kitty rubbed at her tear-streaked face while Jack and I struggled to contain our frustration. Lizzy sat next to the younger girl, and kept shooting looks of remonstration our way, but things were getting desperate.

‘I’m sorry to sound so harsh, love, we’re not trying to frighten you.’ Jack was pacing, and I felt like joining him. Surely Kitty must have
some
idea of where her brother might have gone? She was clearly unwell, and not all her sniffles were a result of her weeping, but this was Archie’s life at stake, and if she really loved him…but at the expense of her brother? Her dilemma didn’t fail to touch me, and to elicit a deep ache of sympathy, but she must do the right thing. She
must.

‘Kitty, please,’ I said, urgency making my throat painfully tight, ‘Oliver has done wrong, you can see that, surely?’

‘He’s just frightened!’

I tried not to snap, to keep my voice even, but it was difficult. ‘And all those front-line Tommies aren’t? Will isn’t? Oliver’s got it good out there by comparison!’

She gave me a blistering look. ‘Good? How can you say that, seeing what you’ve seen? Don’t forget I’ve seen it too. Just because he’s an officer doesn’t mean he’s safe – officers die too. Every day.’

‘But they don’t run away!’

‘Look,’ Jack said, sitting down again and leaning towards her with his hands linked, and I could tell it was in an effort not to reach out and shake her. ‘I understand your brother’s very young, and if we can get him back soon enough to prove he wasn’t seriously trying to desert, he may get away with punishment detail. I’ll speak for him, I promise, and your testimony will go a long way too. But if he stays away until they send someone for him, and they will,’ he said, fixing her brimming eyes with his, ‘he’ll be lucky to escape with his life.’

‘I’m sure he’s just giving himself a good talking to,’ Lizzy said, ‘time to come to terms with things.’ She frowned at Jack, but I was firmly alongside him.

‘He doesn’t have that luxury, and why should he, any more than any of the others out there? More than that boy whose mother was ill, and who came back to see her?’

Jack looked away and I realised that was a bad example. I’d never even asked what had become of that boy, but it was clear Archie hadn’t been able to help after all. I fought down a surge of sorrow, and tried to sound friendlier as I hurriedly pushed on. ‘Skittles, sweetheart, you know we just want to give Oli the best chance of putting this right. If you can tell us where to find him, where to begin looking even, Uncle Jack will do his best to help.’

Lizzy touched a wrist to Kitty’s forehead. ‘You don’t look at all well, darling. How are you feeling?’

‘A bit achy but it’s just a cold. I’m used to it.’ She turned to Jack again. ‘I know you’re both right and I’ll try to think, but my mind is so fuzzy.’ She concentrated for a moment, while we waited and even Lizzy tensed, then shook her head. ‘He’d never go home, I know that. He has friends in Liverpool but I can’t remember where they live.’

‘Their name?’ Jack sat up straight, looking interested.

‘Something short. I…I’m sorry.’

‘Don’t cry,’ Lizzy said, and put her arm around her. ‘Jack, she needs to sleep. Maybe she’ll remember in the morning.’

‘We’ll have to leave first thing, whether we have any leads or not,’ Jack pointed out.

‘I’ll be ready.’ Kitty coughed and winced, and Lizzy sighed.

‘Leave her alone for now, she’s doing her best.’

I wasn’t convinced, but took a deep breath. ‘I’m sorry, I know you are, Kitty. At least you’re agreed you must speak up, to name that vile dr…’ I caught Jack’s eye, and changed the word that had hovered on my lips, ‘
man
who did this to you.’

She nodded. ‘I will do that, I promise.’

‘We’ll find him,’ Jack said, and leaned over to squeeze her hand. She looked surprised, but I wasn’t: Jack Carlisle had the forbidding and slightly distant look of the secretive man he’d had to be, but inside that chest beat a heart of pure gold. Lizzy’s expression softened to see it evidenced, and she put her own hand over theirs. He raised his face to her, and I saw the apology in the creasing of his brow.

‘You’re right, and trying to force this is getting us nowhere. Go to bed, Kitty, a good night’s sleep might help you clear your head. And try not to worry,’ he added, and drew her to her feet. ‘We’ll find your brother, we’ll explain everything, and as long as we get to Archie before he sends that telegram it’ll be all right.’

I went with Kitty to her room. ‘Are you going to be all right if I don’t come back to Flanders with you?’

‘Of course. I’ll have Elise to take care of me, and your uncle. You need to get some use of that arm back.’

‘Not to mention my jaw,’ I agreed with a rueful smile. It felt as though I had a tennis ball tucked inside my cheek, but Lizzy had assured me it didn’t show too much.

I sat down on her bed and watched as she filled her bowl for washing. ‘Skittles, about Archie –’

‘I’m sorry about what I said.’ Kitty frowned and rubbed at the back of her neck, arching to relieve an ache. ‘I understand about you and Will. At least,’ she amended, ‘I understand how much you love him.’

‘I do, and although Archie is a dear friend, and has helped us both no end, I want you to know I could never turn to him…in that way. No matter what happens with Will.’ And what
would
happen? I had no idea, all I knew was that I couldn’t give up on him no matter what he said.

I left her to undress and climb into bed, and Jack, Lizzy and myself returned to Lizzy’s mother’s cottage. As we walked, Jack’s hand found Lizzy’s and they exchanged a wordless look of understanding for one another’s conflicting roles in that evening’s conversation; their natural approaches had complemented one another, and I was glad for Lizzy’s tenderness, which had also balanced out my own rising frustration.

As for Kitty, my respect for her, despite that frustration, had soared. Not yet out of her teens, and going back to Flanders to face not only shells and bullets, but also disgrace, and the possibility of sending her own brother to court-martial. Courage like that was rare and precious, and I could only pray it would be rewarded.

I was brought awake in the early hours by a hammering on the bedroom door.

‘Come in,’ I mumbled. The door opened, and although it was still dark, the height and breadth of the silhouette in the doorway told me instantly who was there.

‘Uncle Jack? What are you –’

‘Is she here?’

‘Who?’ I struggled to a sitting position, trying not to groan at the chorus of pain that sang from shoulder and mouth.

‘Kitty.’ Jack came in, and now I could see his face I recognised a mixture of annoyance and worry. ‘She’s not at the farm.’

I blinked, trying to organise my thoughts, but could only repeat fuzzily, ‘Not at the farm?’

‘No one’s seen her since last night. Has she been in to see you? Said anything about going somewhere before we leave?’

Worry cut through my sleep-addled confusion. ‘The last time I saw her was when she went to bed.’

Jack ran his hands through his hair, his annoyance growing. ‘I went up to the farm early, to make sure she had plenty of time to get ready. No one saw her leave but she’s not there. I hoped she’d come to see you, to say goodbye.’

‘No.’ I shoved the eiderdown back and prepared to get out of bed.

‘It’s all right, Evie, stay there, rest. We’ll find her.’

‘I’ll be down in a minute,’ I said firmly. ‘You can’t delay your departure, every minute counts.’

‘If I’d thought there would be a problem this morning I’d have insisted on leaving last night.’

‘You couldn’t have guessed she’d wander off,’ I said, then couldn’t help trying to raise a smile. ‘Although it is starting to look like a family trait.’ His brief grin lightened his face for a moment, and I was glad to see it despite the panic gnawing at my insides; if she had, after all, placed Oliver’s safety above Archie’s, who knew how it might end? I stood up and ushered him from the room. ‘Let me dress, and I’ll help you look.’

Good Friday was already announcing itself as anything but good. The sun was creeping over the horizon. Lizzy and I searched the cottage and its garden, and the surrounding gardens as well, while Jack took his car to the village. Then, to half-hearted protests from Lizzy, I urged her into the passenger seat of the new ambulance and drove back up to the farm.

We spoke to everyone we could find. Belinda had overslept, and her sister Jane, and the other land girl Sally,both said the same thing: they’d been up early with the lambing and hadn’t been in the house to see if anyone had left.

‘I hope she’s all right,’ Sally said. ‘Have you checked the outbuildings?’

We had. I was starting to get really worried now, she must have gone in the middle of the night – a thought hit me, and I groaned, wondering why I hadn’t considered it before.

‘What?’ Lizzy wanted to know. I took her arm and led her away from everyone else. It was going to be hard to put into words, but I tried. ‘Look, Kitty might be worried about her brother, but she loves Archie too. She wouldn’t deliberately put him at risk, I’m sure of it.’

‘Then what made her leave?’

‘Well, she went through a terrible ordeal with Potter.’

‘I know. And I have every sympathy, but…’ Her words faded and her mouth tightened as the implication sank in. ‘You’re saying that sending her off across the country, in the sole company of a man she’s never met before, might have terrified her to the point of running away?’

‘
We
know Uncle Jack, we know he’d no more harm her than he would you.’

‘He was so sweet to her last night. And surely she must trust us, trust our judgement?’

I grimaced. ‘We trusted the army as well, remember?’

‘Oh, God.’ Lizzy sat down on the low wall. ‘How could we have missed that?’

‘I’ll have to go with them when we find her, or she may not go at all.’

‘I could argue with you until I’m blue in the face,’ Lizzy said tiredly, ‘but it wouldn’t make a scrap of difference, would it?’

‘No.’

She stood up and put her arms around me. I hugged her awkwardly, one-armed. ‘Don’t worry, I won’t work, and I’ll make Uncle Jack carry my bags.’

‘Promise?’

‘Promise.’

She drew back. ‘Well then, all that remains is to find the wretched girl so we can tell her the good news.’

We resumed our search, growing more and more frantic as the day marched on. Jack arrived back from the village, his face grim. ‘People don’t seem to want to talk to me, not that I can blame them. But I can’t delay any longer, I have to leave by three at the very latest, to get the overnight ferry.’

‘Then you’ll have to go,’ I said. ‘Find Oli if you can, but Archie comes first. I’ll bring Kitty across as soon as we find her.’

Jack looked from me to Lizzy and back again, then glanced at his pocket watch and came to his decision. He crossed to Lizzy and took her in his arms, and she held him as if she thought she might never see him again. His hands went to her hair, pushing it away from her eyes, and as they kissed I turned away again, this time feeling nothing but wretched at being the cause of their parting so soon.

As the sound of Jack’s departure died away up the bumpy driveway, we turned back to the problem of where Kitty might have gone. Lizzy went with Mrs Adams and Sally to the village, to search again there, and I teamed up with Belinda and Jane, both of whom were just as interested in hearing about my other life as they were in finding Kitty. Belinda was particularly keen, and I tried to keep my answers as brief as possible without being rude.

‘Can I see inside your ambulance before you go?’

‘Um, yes, all right. There’s not much to see though, just a few bandages.’

‘Does it have a bed?’

‘Two stretchers. No bedding yet though.’

‘How many soldiers have you saved? Do they all fall in love with you?’

‘They have rather more on their minds than falling in love, Belinda.’

‘Are the injuries terrible?’

‘Mostly, yes.’

She was a nice girl, and so bright and bubbly it was hard to get annoyed with her, but worry for Kitty was uppermost in my mind, and before too long I found myself wanting to go off alone and search. Mrs Adams and Lizzy had returned, and the sun was already slipping back down towards the horizon, when I considered the possibility of Kitty having returned to the cottage. I started across the yard to the ambulance, already gritting my teeth against the prospect of driving again, but plucking my collar away from my shoulder I realised I’d already strained my stitches, and there was fresh blood on the bandage. I hissed in frustration and turned back; I’d need help for this.

In the farmhouse kitchen, I sat quietly while Mrs Adams began to carefully cut away the bandage that covered my shoulder and half of my neck. She was a quiet woman by nature, and I’d already come to appreciate that, when she did speak, it was because she had something of import to say, so her constant trickle of chatter and casual questions took me by surprise, until I realised.

‘She’ll be all right, Mrs Adams,’ I said quietly.

Mrs Adams gave a little sob, and put down her scissors in case her shaking hand caused them to snag my skin. ‘I know I’m being silly. But she’s such a dear girl. Too young to be in this awful situation.’ She sighed, and pulled herself together. ‘We’ve looked everywhere, I don’t know where else to try.’

‘We’ll find her,’ I promised. ‘Lizzy and I were worried she might have been scared at being sent off with Uncle Jack. You know, after what happened.’

But she shook her head as she picked up the scissors and resumed her careful cutting. ‘I don’t know the man myself, only met him a few times but he seems trustworthy. Young Lizzy has a sensible head on her shoulders, and you’ve known him all your life. I can’t imagine Kitty would think twice about going with him anywhere, if
you
trust him.’