A Secret to Keep (11 page)

“It’s a long story. I’ll fill you in when I get back. Are you sure you’re okay with keeping Brayden? I know it’s an imposition?” Sloane dropped the terry cloth belt and pulled one of the enormous pillows onto her stomach. She toyed with the satin edge and reveled in the decadent luxury of the suite. She had to admit she kind of missed all of the extravagance that came along with Gates’ life. A night in an expensive hotel like this was a drop in the bucket to him and she had almost forgotten how different it was to live in his lavish world.

“Sweetie, it’s not like you have much choice and you know I don’t mind. He’s a handful, but I love spending time with him. When will you get back?”

“I’m not sure. I’m hoping early morning. Look, I gotta go. Gates is getting out of the shower. I’ll talk to you later.” Sitting up, Sloane realized the water had shut off in the bathroom and she knew Gates would emerge soon.

“The shower…Sloane…what?” But it was too late; Sloane had already hung up, leaving Liyah to wonder what was going on in Charleston.

Once both were showered and reasonably comfortable in their robes, they sent their clothes down to be cleaned. Now Sloane sat on the bed as Gates sat in a chair. Neither bothered to turn on the lights and the only light generated was from the iridescent glow of the television and the intermittent flashes of lightning outside.

Sloane walked to the window and opened the curtains further. The storm didn’t seem to be letting up and she stood watching the electricity slash through the darkness of the sky. For a while, Gates sat and watched her, admiring the view as the storm and the scattered lightning lit up her face. She was beautiful. There weren’t many women in the world that could look as naturally beautiful as her. Her bare face and her pure simplicity were the most attractive things to him and he fought every urge inside him to touch her. He was secretly glad they’d gotten caught in the pouring rain because her hair was curly again. She was beautiful with it straight, but he absolutely loved her natural curls. Standing, he moved quietly to her side to watch the storm.

“I’m really sorry about all of this. I know you’re probably worried about your little boy.” He knew she was still mad at him for being stuck in Charleston. He really hadn’t planned on them having to stay overnight, but in a way he was glad about it.

“Brayden.”

“What?” His inquisitive eyes scanned her face in anticipation of her continuing.

“My little boy. His name is Brayden.” Her voice was barely audible and he strained to hear it over the rumbling of the storm. It was like she had shared some deep dark secret and now was a little wary she’d let the cat out of the bag.

“Oh…Brayden.” He repeated the name slowly thinking back to the picture of the child behind her desk. There was something very familiar about his eyes, but Gates figured it was the fact they were rimmed with long eyelashes like Sloane’s.

Looking up at him, she shrugged. “It’s okay. I checked on him while you were in the shower and he’s fine. I can’t blame you for a storm. The truth is, I shouldn’t have come.” He watched her stoic countenance and felt a pang of guilt realizing she was probably upset she was missing her nightly ritual with the baby. Knowing Sloane, she probably had some song she sang or a book she read to the little one every night, and tonight she’d miss it because of him.

“For what it’s worth, I’m glad you did.” Leaning over, he nudged her arm with his elbow. She flashed a half smile at him then turned back to the window and the storm. He felt a flash of heat eddy through his body while watching the electric hue of the lightning reflect and bounce over her face. His fingers hurt from how tightly he clenched his fist from resisting the urge to reach out and touch her. He knew her skin would feel like satin and he fought his feelings with all he had. “This reminds me a lot of the last time you and I were here. You remember?” Gates tried his best to think of anything else but how soft her skin would feel beneath his own and he turned back to the window.

“I remember. I’m surprised they don’t have our pictures on the wall somewhere stating we should never be allowed to stay here.” He watched the slow grin move across her full lips referring to their unplanned swim fully clothed in the rooftop pool. Of course, they left an annoying long trail of puddle tracks as they trudged to their room.

“Those were the days,” he laughed. “A lot has changed since then.” He thought back to the fun they had peeling the wet clothes off one another and the slow, sweet lovemaking the entire episode led to that night.

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“I mean, you have a son and you’re about to marry his father, so this has to be an exciting time for you.” It really wasn’t like him to be this inquisitive, but he was having a hard time accepting the fact Sloane had moved on. He wasn’t sure how he was able to hold it together the day she introduced him to Chase. All he wanted to do was squeeze the life out of the guy, but somehow he managed to keep his composure.

“Uh, yes, it is.”

“Try to control the enthusiasm why don’t you?” He was a little taken aback at the seeming disinterest Sloane exuded when he mentioned her engagement and upcoming marriage.

“Oh, no, it’s a lot going on and it’s kind of stressful, raising a baby and planning a wedding and working on this project at the same time.” She replied, continuing to fold the end of the robe’s belt in her hands. He couldn’t tell if she was truly happy about getting married or not.

“You know, sometimes we plan on doing things that we think are right, but really, they may not be what’s best for us.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He could see in her eyes when she turned to him, he may have said a little too much.

“I’m just saying I know you. I know how important family is to you and how you’ve always wanted the ideal one.” He knew he was precariously close to touching a sore spot with her. Sloane had shared the hurt she felt losing her parents at such a young age. He knew it affected her then, and he was pretty sure it still did. “But, just because Brayden biologically belongs to Chase, doesn’t necessarily mean you have to marry him. It seems pretty quick.”
Shut up Gates. It’s none of your business.

“What?” Her deadpan response had him kicking himself for the words that slipped from between his lips, but he hated the thought of Sloane being someone else’s wife. He always pictured her standing beside him in front of a minister saying ‘I do,’ but now she was going to do it with someone else.

“Look at me, overstepping my boundaries again. Obviously you know what’s best for you and your son and who is best to be in his life. I apologize,” He explained, back peddling from his admission and inquiry. “I have to say I was a little surprised that you are a mom.”

“It’s okay. I have to admit it’s been a little scary at times and an even bigger learning experience.”

“I’m sure. But I always knew you’d be great at it.” He watched her fiddle with the belt to the robe and grinned at her nervous energy. She may be someone else’s fiancée and a mother, but she hadn’t changed. Her nerves always seem to get the best of her and he fought the urge to reach out and stop her from worrying the terry cloth into oblivion.

“Really? You thought that?” She looked at him with wide eyes. With them being only inches apart, his need to touch her was growing intense. If he kept clutching his hands as tightly as he was, his skin was sure to pop.

“Sure. There wasn’t much you weren’t great at.”

“Wow, thank you.” She continued fumbling with the belt to the robe, until his urges finally overcame him and he reached over and grabbed her tiny hands in his larger ones. He gently rubbed the soft skin between her thumb and pointer finger on each hand to try and calm her fidgeting. After all of this time, he still hadn’t been able to shake his need to take care of her. It was the main reason he’d run after her that night at Elijah’s. He hated to see her in pain, and he couldn’t stand it when she cried. When she looked up again, their eyes met and his heart slammed against his chest. He wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and try and convince her marrying Chase would be a mistake, but he couldn’t bring himself to say the words.

Breaking their intense moment, Sloane pulled her hands from his and clutched her arms to her body, turning towards the window. “So if you don’t mind me asking, what happened to you?”

“What do you mean what happened to me?” He could still feel the softness of her skin in his and he rubbed his hands together trying to erase the recent memory. He left her side and walked closer to the bar trying to put as much distance between them as he could.
Get a grip Gates. She’s not yours anymore.

“The Gates you were today, with the spontaneous trip and the jokes and laughing, that’s the Gates I remember. What happened to him?” He looked up to see her eyes trained on him.

“Sloane, do you really want to get into this now?” He rubbed his hand across the back of his neck. He didn’t want to talk about any changes between them. He wanted to feel her soft skin beneath his again.

“Well, it seems we have all night, plus you’ve asked and assumed about my life.” Her intense glare put him on edge and he diverted his attention.

“Sloane, nothing happened. I’m still Gates McCall, just a little richer,” he answered, pouring a glass of water. She walked over to join him at the bar where he wouldn’t be able to escape her glare.
Please don’t push this
.

“You’re not the same. If you recall, that’s why I left. You stopped being the Gates I knew and became this ruthless, money and power hungry person I didn’t recognize.” Her intensity was a little unnerving and he wondered why she cared so much about his transformation.

“Why does it matter now Sloane? You’re engaged and about to be married to someone else, remember? If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you still cared.” He winked, looking over his glass at her and trying his best to quell the enormous wave of tension billowing in the air.
      

“Gates, regardless of what happened between us…I’ll always care about what happens to you. I just couldn’t handle you turning into a workaholic and focusing so much on business all of the time. Near the end, all we did was argue. You know that. I guess I just couldn’t understand what happened and why you gave up on us?” She continued to push and the faint lines of tension that had disappeared from his face earlier started to return.

“I didn’t give up on us Sloane. You did when you left.” Returning her impassioned scowl, he wished she wouldn’t keep pushing the issue.

“I left because you weren’t the man I fell in love with anymore.”

“Look, I don’t want to fight with you over this. We’ve had a pretty decent day together. Can’t we leave it at that?” Gates waited for her to agree so they could move on to another topic. The concentrated silence between them was thick; like morning fog hanging over a secluded pond.

“I just want to know why?” She asked again and he could see she wasn’t going to give up until he gave her an acceptable reason in her eyes.

“Sloane, forget it. It’s been over a year and things are different for both of us now. A lot different.”

“No. I want to know why you changed and became exactly like your father.” Hitting a nerve when she mentioned Victor, Gates felt the muscles in his jaw clench to the point of nearly giving him a headache. He never liked being compared to his father regardless of if it were true or not.

“You think I wanted to be like this? You think I wanted to be like my father? I didn’t. I never wanted to be him, Sloane.” Placing his water glass down, he clutched the edge of the bar and dropped his head to stare at the floor, knowing she was right. He had to look at anything but her inquisitive and judgmental eyes. He walked back to the window to see the streaks lighting the city. He’d never been one for losing his temper. Instead of getting upset and yelling, he tended to get more and more quiet and his voice became insanely even. One of the very few differences between him and his father. “I became Victor McCall, the one person I never wanted to be,” he said in a much softer tone, realizing the magnitude of his transition.

“How? I mean, you-”

“It’s not hard when you’re forced into something you don’t want to do.” He looked to see confusion painted across her beautiful features. Before she could ask him to explain, he started in on his reasons for his difference in attitude. “Sloane, I didn’t want this life. I didn’t ask for it. I was trying my best to get away from it if you can remember.” When they first met, Gates spoke about traveling the world and how the two of them could see so many things together. He had ideas about what he wanted to do, but after his mother died, it seemed like that one incident changed his entire life. He was suddenly thrust into the CEO position to run the company for his father, whose health soon started to decline.

“My sister didn’t want anything to do with our father’s company. Once she married Sam, she took off to London and never looked back. When my mother died, I was all Victor had left. It wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted to be with you. Foolishly, I figured if I could hold out long enough, do what the old man wanted, then I could have what I wanted. Unfortunately, you left before any of that could happen.”

“Gates, why didn’t you talk to me about it?” He watched her expression change and he saw the one reaction he never wanted to see cross her beautiful features…pity. Gates never wanted anyone to pity him. He didn’t need it and he didn’t want it.