A Simple Change (25 page)

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Authors: Judith Miller

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BOOK: A Simple Change
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“I would be happy to wait while you go. . . .”

Father shook his head. “I think you need food more than I do. Besides, I want to stay here.” He reached into his pocket and winked. “I stopped for the mail. There was a letter from Miss Manchester.”

I perched on tiptoe and kissed his cheek. “Thank you.” The letter from Lilly was the second good thing that had happened today. I considered putting it into my pocket and waiting to read the contents until I returned home, but curiosity got the best of me. I slid my finger beneath the seal and withdrew the letter as I walked to the Küche.

There were several pages, so I scanned the letter until I caught sight of Thomas's name on the last page.

Mr. and Mrs. Morgan, Kathleen's adoptive parents, are willing to have Thomas come for a visit with his sister. If Kathleen decides she wants to leave and make her home with Thomas, they will not stop her. They believe she is old enough to make the best decision as to where she will be most content.

The address of the farm outside of Salina was included, along with detailed directions. Below the address, Lilly had written another brief paragraph.

The Morgans will not tell Kathleen about any of this until they are certain Thomas is going to come to Kansas. They do
not want Kathleen to be disappointed if he should change his mind. They ask that Thomas write or send a telegram detailing when they should expect him to arrive. Once they have received word from him, they will tell Kathleen her brother plans to visit.

After returning the folded letter to the envelope, I placed it inside my skirt pocket. I would read the rest later when I could savor the contents. While tucking it deep within, my fingers touched the note Thomas had recently left for me near his bedside. While I'd sat in the bedroom caring for my mother, all thoughts of the accusatory note had vanished from my mind, but now my earlier fears returned with a vengeance. Did Thomas truly believe I had taken that money? And if he did, how would I ever convince him otherwise? His curt note hadn't reflected the kind and gentle Thomas I'd first met near the pond. If he'd stolen the money, what prevented him from trying to use force to retrieve it? Then again, maybe he'd had only a minute to scribble the note before leaving for work, or maybe he'd been interrupted. Either of those reasons might have caused him to be abrupt. I hoped that might be the case, for I didn't want to believe Thomas was any less than the man I'd first met.

“Jancey!”

I shaded my eyes against the sun as Nathan came running toward me.

“How is your mother? Is she any worse?”

“She seemed a little better when I left the house. Her fever broke and that's a good sign.”

Though I hoped it was my imagination, I thought he appeared disappointed by my answer. “Ritt asked some of the men at the
woolen mill to pray for her. He said his mother told him your mother was very ill and the doctor was worried she might not make it through the night.” He pushed his hat to the back of his head. “So you think she's going to recover?” Once again, I thought I detected regret in his voice.

“That is my hope. You sound unhappy to hear she is doing better.”

He shook his head. “I don't want anything to happen to her, Jancey, but I do want you to be free to begin your own life with me in Kansas City. I don't mean to sound unsympathetic, but I know you won't leave until—”

My mind whirred. How could he be so callous? I held up my hand. “You shouldn't say anything more, Nathan. If you do, there is a strong possibility I may never want to see you again.”

Jutting his chin, he met my gaze. “You're the one who says people should be honest. I'm trying to be truthful about how I feel. That's all.” He thrust his hands into his pockets. “But I'll take your advice. I won't say another word.”

As we drew near the Küche, Nathan offered a quick apology. I wanted to believe his words were heartfelt, but when he attempted to justify his earlier thoughtless comments, I had lingering doubts that he'd really transformed.

Nathan's own interests still remained at the forefront of his thoughts, and deep down I feared it would always be so.

Chapter 25

During the days following my mother's latest bout of illness, Ritt stopped by our apartment several times. He carried meals to us when Sister Hanna was busy at the Küche. He even stayed to pray with me and offer words of comfort. Throughout those days, he showered me with compassion and kindness that provided water for my thirsty soul. But now that Mother's health had improved and life had returned to a normal routine, he again withdrew.

Though I hoped he would continue to visit or would appear during Madelyn's lessons, he remained at a distance. There was no doubt he was a man of his word: He would be my friend, but nothing more. At least not until I made a decision about where I would spend my future. And though I couldn't fault him for remaining true to his word, I longed to have him spend more time with me.

If he'd give me an opportunity, I would tell him about my meeting with Thomas, the bank robbery, the money I'd found that had now disappeared, and the accusatory note that I'd received from Thomas. While Mother lay ill, I'd set aside thoughts of Thomas and the money, but now that the time had arrived when I must return to work, I needed advice from someone other than Nathan. Someone who understood how such a situation should be handled in the colonies.

A nervous giggle escaped my lips. How many times had wads of money been found under the floorboards of the men's dormitory? I doubted there was any precedent for such an incident. Yet in the past, other difficult problems must have arisen that required inventive solutions. Surely Ritt could draw upon those incidents to give me a general idea of how this might be resolved. But explaining my dilemma to him wasn't going to happen unless I could get him alone long enough to have a detailed conversation. And that didn't seem likely.

I hadn't been out of the house enough to worry over an answer to Thomas's note, and I wondered if he'd left any additional messages during my absence—ones that Margaret might have discovered while dusting. I could only hope that Thomas had heard my mother was ill and I was helping care for her.

“Sister Jancey! It is gut to see you. While you were gone, Ritt gave John and me daily reports on your Mutter's health. I am so happy our prayers have been answered and she is doing better.”

I was taken aback when Margaret rushed forward and wrapped me in a warm embrace. Never before had she been so demonstrative.

“I know this has been a difficult time for you.” After several pats on my shoulder, she released her hold and took a backward step. “You look tired. Did you sleep well last night?”

I hadn't slept well, mostly because I'd worried about seeing Thomas this morning, a fact I couldn't share with Margaret. “Not as well as usual, but I'll be fine. I'm glad to see you. Everything is going fine with John?”

Her lips curved in a shy smile. “Ja. He is going to ask permission for us to marry, but he will wait until the orders have slowed down at the mill. If he asks now, he's afraid the elders might decide to send me to another village, and he doesn't want me to be separated from my family. Once they catch up on work at the mill, they are more likely to send him to work at the woolen mill in Main.”

“He's most considerate. I'm very happy for you, Margaret.”

She bobbed her head. “Ja, I didn't think any man would ever take notice of me. For a long time, I prayed Ritt would one day look in my direction, but now I'm glad he didn't show any interest. John is the right man for me. We are gut together. You understand?”

“Yes. I've noticed how happy the two of you are when you're together.” I gestured to the other room. “I should begin my work.”

“Ach! I almost forgot. The day your mother took ill and you had to go home, that outsider . . . what is his name?” She stared heavenward and massaged the side of her head. “The one who has the bed next to Nathan.” She strolled toward the sleeping room and stared at the row of beds.

“Thomas Kingman?” Though I wasn't supposed to be familiar with the outsiders, Margaret would likely assume Nathan had mentioned Thomas's name to me.

She bobbed her head. “Ja, Thomas Kingman, that is it.”

“What about him?” I tried to hide my impatience, but Margaret's revelation worried me.

“He stopped by and I am sure he was looking for you.”

I arched my brows and tried to appear surprised. “For me? Why? Did he ask for me by name?”

“Nein. He doesn't speak much German, so I didn't understand, but I think he wanted to know if you were coming back to clean the room.”

I hiked my shoulders in an exaggerated shrug and forced a grin. “Maybe he was afraid he'd have to make his own bed if I didn't return.”

“Ja, I have never seen that happen in this place.” She motioned toward the rear door. “I will be in the washhouse if you need me.”

While caring for Mother, I'd lost track of the days. It didn't seem possible washday had already arrived. It seemed like only yesterday that Sister Margaret was giving me ironing lessons. Now here I was all alone in the dormitory again, and today I couldn't hide in the washhouse. Tomorrow while she ironed, I might be able to join her again, but not now, not when I needed to be cleaning and stripping beds.

My gaze remained fixed on the trunk beside Thomas's bed as I strode to the far end of the room. Was he expecting a note from me when I returned? I stopped beside his bed. The picture of Kathleen was no longer lying atop his trunk. I stared at the shabby trunk and wondered what the missing picture meant. Was this another warning of sorts? Did he hope to unnerve me by removing the picture? If that had been his plan, it had worked.

Throughout the morning, I remained alert, turning to and fro at every strange noise. When the morning bell rang to signal morning coffee break for the men, I hastened to the far side of the washhouse, where I wouldn't be seen by Margaret—or any of the men who might expect someone to be near the clotheslines hanging laundry, particularly Thomas.

Once enough time had passed for the men to make their way to the Küche, I circled around the rear of the washhouse and returned to the men's quarters. I'd maintained a close watch on my return and nothing appeared amiss as I stepped across the threshold. I glanced about and exhaled a sigh of relief, thankful when I saw no one inside.

As I continued through the room, I glanced toward Thomas's bed and a fresh wave of fear grabbed hold of me. Kathleen's picture had reappeared and was lying atop his trunk. I clasped my hand across my lips to stifle the scream that threatened. He'd been in here while I was hiding at the washhouse. It was obvious he knew that I'd returned to work. And that picture was a clear indication he expected to hear from me.

What could I say? I don't know where the money is? He would never believe me, and such a remark might anger him further. I wanted to think he still might be the same friendly young man I'd grown to admire, but his last note had put me on edge. Why hadn't I figured out a plan during those days when I'd sat beside Mother's bed? Instead, I'd forced all thoughts of Thomas and the bank money out of my mind. I needed to speak to Nathan. Maybe he'd received a return telegram regarding the bank robbery and could tell me something that would help me decide what I should tell Thomas.

I waited near the door and watched for the men to return to the mill. If I remained in plain sight, Thomas couldn't approach me. I don't know why I hadn't thought of that earlier—maybe because I would appear as if I had nothing to do except stand and stare out the doorway.

As Thomas descended the path, he cast an angry look in my direction, but I averted my gaze and watched for Nathan. When
he rounded the bend, I gestured. If he could avoid Brother William's watchful eye, I was certain he would come and speak to me. He glanced over his shoulder before he came running and ducked inside the doorway.

“Your mother is doing well, I hope.” His lips curved in a halfhearted smile.

“Yes, much better, thank you.” His comment didn't bear much enthusiasm, but right now I was more concerned about how I was going to respond to Thomas. “Have you received any word since you sent the telegram?”

“These things can take a little time, Jancey. I would have told you if I'd heard something.” He shoved his hands into his pockets. “Is that all you wanted to ask me?”

“Yes. Can't you understand that I'm worried? What if he finds out that newspaper article is missing? He's going to think it was me. I'm the only one who has enough opportunity to go through things in here.” Since I'd gone against Nathan's advice, I didn't dare tell him I'd attempted to return the clipping and discovered the money was missing.

“What about Margaret? She's in here by herself part of the time, too. It could even be one of the other men. There are times when everyone's gone on their day off. Even if he checks that bag, he's not going to know it's you. Besides, he probably won't even notice. Why would he give a second thought to an old piece of newspaper when he's got all that money?”

“Perhaps you could draw Thomas into conversation and he'd reveal something to you. Have you talked to him about his time in Kansas City?” I was grasping at straws, but I had believed Nathan was going to do something significant when he said he'd take care of the matter.

“He keeps to himself and isn't interested in talking to anyone. He doesn't even join in when the men play cards. I can't force him to talk to me.”

His response surprised me. Nathan was one of the most persistent men I'd ever met, so it was difficult to believe he couldn't cajole Thomas into some sort of conversation. “You will let me know as soon as you hear something, won't you?”

“Of course.” He patted my shoulder. “You worry too much.” His patronizing tone matched the overconfident look in his eyes. He was treating me like a child. “I told you I'd handle this and I will. Just give me the necessary time.”

There wasn't any use continuing this conversation. Nathan couldn't supply any information that would help me.

When the bell tolled for the noonday break, Margaret was still in the washhouse. After hanging the last sheet, I carried the empty basket and dropped it beside the wooden tubs. Margaret swiped her damp hands down the front of her apron. “I'm off to the Küche. I'll see you after lunch.”

Standing in the doorway, I watched Margaret depart and wished I could join her. Instead, I'd eat lunch at Sister Bertha's Küche, where Thomas would be sitting with the rest of the outsiders. For sure, I'd be careful to avoid looking in his direction.

The parched grass crunched beneath my feet as I walked toward the dormitory on my way to the Küche. The lack of rain had taken a toll on the flowers and trees, but today the air had cooled a little. Though it wasn't yet August, I wanted to believe I could smell a promise of fall in the air.

The thought of a cooler season rejuvenated my spirits, and
I picked up my step. Deciding to remain outdoors and enjoy the fresh air, I circled around the end of the clotheslines rather than taking the shortcut through the men's quarters. I was midway between the washhouse and the dormitory, not far from the clotheslines, when the bushes rustled. Before I could take stock of what was happening, Thomas jumped forward, grabbed my wrist, and pulled me toward the brush, where we wouldn't be easily spotted.

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