A Sinclair Homecoming (The Sinclairs of Alaska) (20 page)

“Who says?” Mona asked, shrugging. “You can make it work if it’s worth it. And I have a feeling Wade Sinclair is worth it. Besides, you’re a psychologist. You can set up a practice anywhere. Maybe California is where you need to be.”

“California? You mean move?”

“Yes, you knucklehead. There’s more to life than Alaska. Besides, wouldn’t it be fun to wear flip-flops all year round? Wouldn’t it be fabulous to not have to dig your car out of ten feet of snow? And wouldn’t it be awesome if you and your sister got a place together because a fresh start is good for everyone?”

Morgan laughed and wiped her eyes. “I sense an ulterior motive here. What’s going on? I thought you hated California.”

“Well, now that you mention it, the buyer I was talking about is actually from California. San Francisco, to be exact. He seems to think that my art will be a real hit with the hippies and granolas up in the San Francisco hills. I’ve had some time to think about it and I’ve decided that maybe California is where it’s at. And besides, I’ve done everything that can be done here and dated all the men that can be dated, and I’m ready for new frontiers. I’m not afraid to start fresh. And if I go with you, you don’t have to be afraid of starting fresh, either. At least until you and Wade decide on a wedding date.”

Morgan gasped and tossed her napkin at her sister. “Don’t start walking us down the aisle just yet. We might not even be compatible in the big scheme of things.”

“Yeah, yeah. Keep telling yourself that. I’ve seen the way you look at him and the way he looks at you. It’s some true-love stuff and it makes me gag—and a little jealous, if you must know. In all seriousness, don’t let this opportunity pass you by. You deserve happiness. I wish I’d known about David a long time ago because then I could’ve helped you get out of that hell. I can’t do anything about the past but I can help you today. You can do this. For once I’ll be holding your hand instead of the other way around.”

Morgan stared at her little sister, slowly realizing that somewhere along the line her flighty, artistic nutjob of a sister had grown up into a really smart lady. “You would do that for me?”

“In a heartbeat.”

And then the waterworks really started. Except this time, Morgan wasn’t crying alone.

Maybe Mona was right; a fresh start was definitely on the menu.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

T
HE
CLEANUP
CREWS
had worked magic on the house, slapping a fresh coat of paint on the walls, and actually installing a new hardwood floor when it was discovered the old wood had been too badly damaged. And after Miranda and Jeremiah picked up a few new furniture pieces and the personal items that could be salvaged were returned, it looked like a place he could’ve called home back in the day. He opened the door and walked in, smiling with relief at the fact that the house could be saved, and found his mother in the kitchen, baking, just like she used to when he was a kid.

“Mama...you’re baking?” he said, joining her to peek over her shoulder. He inhaled and smiled. “If I’m not mistaken, that’s zucchini bread!”

“Your daddy’s favorite,” Jennelle said, opening the oven to check her bread. “And it’s nearly done.”

“Where is Dad?” he asked, a frisson of fear curdling his good mood at the thought of his father going back to his old ways.

“He’s in the shed—gutting it out.”

Wade released the breath he’d been holding and pressed a kiss to his mother’s forehead. “Amen to that.”

Jennelle grabbed a plate and sliced up a loaf already made. She handed it to Wade, and he in turn slathered it in fresh butter. “You and butter...you always did like to coat your fresh bread in the stuff.”

“That’s right. Only way to eat anything breadlike.” He took a good whiff of the bread and sighed with happiness. He’d missed his mother’s fresh zucchini bread. Among other things. He took his plate to the table and sat down while Jennelle followed. “The house looks great,” he said around a hot bite. “It’s pretty damn amazing what they were able to do. Are you happy with the results?”

“Very.” Jennelle had lost that pinched expression and the dark circles under her eyes, which made him very happy to see. “It was hard watching it all go because there were some good memories in those piles but it was good to watch it go, too. I was holding on too tight to all the wrong things.”

“Mama, you don’t know what it means to me to hear you say that. I am so glad. How’s Dad doing?”

“He’s taking it day by day. But an honest man does an honest man’s work and so he’s been out there gutting out that shed so he can start carving again. I think that’s what he needs to find himself.”

Wade agreed with a nod, taking a moment to enjoy his bread. “Have you had a chance to talk to Miranda or Trace?”

She sighed. “A bit. It’s hard. Miranda has a lot of reasons to be mad at me. I don’t know why I took everything out on her but I did. And Trace is still not sure about Zed and his change. Of all you kids, Trace had the biggest issue with your dad’s addiction.”

“He’ll come around.”

“I hope so.”

“Are you going to keep seeing the counselor for your hoarding?”

Jennelle grimaced. “I hate that word, but yes. I don’t want to go back to that way of living ever again. Seems like another world apart from the world I live in today, even though it was just a few days ago.”

“What changed?”

“Everything. But Zed helped me see that I didn’t need to hang on to Simone so tight that I ruined everything else in my hand. I couldn’t see that before. I was so afraid of losing her completely that I didn’t stop to see what I was sacrificing. I did a lot of damage to Miranda. I don’t know how to make amends for that.”

“You start with one day at a time. One act of kindness after another. Forgiveness is a powerful thing. You need to forgive yourself, and Miranda will fall in line. She wants to forgive you. She wants you in her life.”

Jennelle nodded slowly but Wade could see uncertainty in her gaze. “It’s going to be okay, Mama. Just keep up with your therapy and you’re going to be fine. And as long as Dad doesn’t slip up and start cultivating again...I think this family can finally start to heal.”

“Maybe. I hope so. I really do.” Jennelle waited a moment then asked, “So...are you packing up to go back to California?”

He heard the hope in her voice that maybe he was going to stay home but he knew that wasn’t the right choice for him. “Yes,” he said regretfully. When her expression dimmed, he added, “But I’ve decided that eight years between visits is too long. From now on, every six months I’ll plan to come and stay for a week or two if I can. Besides, I’ll be here for Miranda’s wedding, for sure. How’s that sound?”

Tears brimmed in his mother’s eyes. “I’d like that. I miss you so much, son.”

“I miss you, too, Mama.”

While Wade finished up, they made small talk, plans for the property and whatnot and then Zed walked in, going straight to the sink to wash his hands. When he returned, he had a plate in his hand, piled with fresh zucchini bread.

Zed eyed Wade’s plate. “Don’t be eating all my zucchini bread,” he warned, and Wade chuckled as his mother shushed him.

“There’s plenty to go around,” she said, smiling with genuine happiness. It’d been so long since he’d seen that joy in his mother’s face, it almost caused tears of gratitude to spring to his eyes.

Jennelle disappeared back into the kitchen, leaving father and son alone. He had two choices: one, gloss over everything that had happened by not talking about it or two, just put his questions out there and hope for an answer. He opted for the second choice because he didn’t think he could go forward in his life without knowing. “What made you change your mind?” Wade asked quietly.

Zed took a bite of his bread and savored it for a long moment. When he finally spoke, his answer was simple and to the point. “A boy who’d grown up to be a good man helped me to see how I was being a coward.”

Oh, hell.
The tears he’d held back for his mama leaked from his eyes. He ground them out but his shoulders shook, betraying him with the involuntary motion. Zed clapped a hand on his shoulder with knowing, and Wade didn’t have to say a word. This was the man who’d taught him everything he knew about being a man, about keeping his word when given and following through with promises. He knew with one look at his father that no matter what, Zed would stick to his promise to remain sober and the one reservation he’d been holding on to evaporated into the wind. “If you need help, I’ll pitch in on your fines,” he offered, wiping at his eyes. “I don’t mind helping out to get you back on your feet.”

“I made the mess, I’ll clean it up,” Zed said, returning to his bread, stopping briefly to smile at his son with a solemn, “but I appreciate the offer. You’re a good boy.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

“Tell me what your plan is...when you go back. Are you happy in California?”

“Yeah, I really like my job and what I do in the big scheme of things. Looking out for a national park is a big responsibility, and I take it seriously.”

“What about a wife? You seeing someone?”

“Not exactly.” His situation was complicated, but he knew his parents would want to know some details. “I should tell you that there’s another grandchild on the way.” One brow went up, but his father waited for him to explain. “I didn’t want to say anything until I knew for certain but the woman I was seeing casually...she told me she’s pregnant.”

“You going to marry her?”

Wade’s cheeks flushed. “No. I don’t love her like that.”

“Baby changes things.”

“I’ll be a good coparent but I can’t marry Elizabeth.”

“Why not? Love can grow out from friendship.”

“Yes, and if I didn’t feel something for someone else I might consider it but the fact is...I think I’ve fallen in love with another woman.”

“That’s a tangled mess you’ve got there, son.”

“Yeah. Pretty much. Any advice?”

“I’m probably not the one who should be handing out advice. You’ve got a good head on your shoulders. But I can say this...I always knew it was your mother for me. I knew it from the moment I laid eyes on her. And I wouldn’t let no one or nothing stand in my way of having her. If that’s the way you feel about a woman...don’t hesitate. Listen to your gut.”

“I wish it were that simple,” he said with an unhappy sigh. “She has a career here and it wouldn’t be right to ask her to give it all up for me.”

“You’re right,” Zed agreed, pushing his empty plate away and leaning forward on his elbows. “But maybe she wouldn’t be giving it up if she made the choice on her own. You have to make your case. If it’s supposed to happen, it will.”

“Dad, I never knew you were such a romantic.”

“Well, I guess parents can hold on to their mysteries after all.” Zed winked and pushed away from the table. “I’ve got to get back to work. Don’t be a stranger, son. We miss seeing your face around here.” And then his dad left out through the back door. Jennelle returned and saw that Zed had left his plate, and she scooped it up with a frown.

“That man wouldn’t know how to put away a dish if his life depended on it,” she groused, and he smiled at the familiar complaint as she added, “Well, I suppose I can’t throw too big a stone on that score anymore, huh?”

“Probably not,” he said, chuckling. After Jennelle had cleared the table, she returned with a sigh as she sat in the chair formerly occupied by her husband. Wade allowed his gaze to wander his mother’s beloved face, and he knew things were going to continue to improve. “Mama...I have something to tell you,” he said, knowing there was no easy way to break the news. At her expectant expression, he continued with a resigned sigh. “I’m going to be a father.”

Jennelle sucked a wild breath and her hand went to her chest, momentarily alarming Wade. “I don’t understand. I didn’t know you were serious with someone. Why didn’t you bring her with you?”

He shook his head. “It’s not like that, Mama. We were having a casual relationship and the pregnancy is very unexpected. She plans to keep the baby and we’re going to coparent together.”

“Coparent? I’ve never heard of such a thing,” Jennelle said, a touch of her old orneriness showing through. “Wade Neal Sinclair, if you’ve gotten a woman pregnant you need to marry her.”

“I can’t do that. I don’t love her. I think I love someone else.”

“Oh.” Her mouth formed a soft O as she digested the information. She rubbed her forehead, overwhelmed and trying to find firmer footing. “I don’t know what to say. I know you’ll do what’s right. If you say you’re going to be a good father, even if you’re not with the mother, then I trust you will be.”

“Thank you, Mama. It’s all very new and frankly, scary.”

Recovered, Jennelle sighed and said, “Well, you know, hearing those words uttered by your teenaged son is every mother’s nightmare but you’re a man now and frankly, you’re not getting any younger. And neither am I, for that matter. I’m ready for more grandchildren. I have a lot to make up for with Talen but I can start fresh with the new ones. Bring ’em on.” He stared in mild shock at his mother’s quick about-face, and she shrugged. “What? My house is nice and clean and I’m ready to start the next chapter in my life, which includes the pitter-patter of little feet that I can send home after I sugar them up. Grandchildren are the reward for all those years of hard parenting. And I’m ready to enjoy the rewards.”

A slow laugh bubbled up from his chest as relief followed. His family was going to be all right. “Okay, well, that’s good to hear. I’ll let you know when I know more.”

“Sounds good. Now tell me about this other woman you fancy yourself in love with,” Jennelle instructed him, and he hesitated. Should he tell her about his feelings for Morgan? The words hovered on his tongue but in the end, his mother shocked him yet again. “My son, you were always so easy to read. You have feelings for my doctor, don’t you?”

“Um...what makes you say that?”

“The way your eyes lit up whenever she was around. And the way her eyes light up the same around you.” When Wade didn’t protest—what was the point?—she smiled and said, “I approve of Dr. O’Hare. She’s a smart cookie and she doesn’t waver easily. You need a strong woman, and I think she would do nicely.”

Was his mother playing matchmaker? “It’s not that simple, Mama...”

“Oh, pooh, it is. It’s as simple or as complicated as you make it. Talk to her.”

“I tried.”

“No...really talk to her. Make her see what you see and trust me, she’ll fall all over herself to be with you.”

He loved his mother’s confidence in him but Morgan had already expressed her feelings about being a stepmother. Still, there was a piece of him that knew he had to talk to Morgan at least one more time before he boarded a plane to go back to California.

“Maybe you’re right, Mama,” he murmured, rising to press a kiss to her forehead. “I have some errands to run. I’ll see you tomorrow before I head out.”

“You bet your sweet tail you will. Don’t even think about boarding that plane before giving me a chance to make you a home-cooked meal. I’m thinking of inviting everyone over for halibut and rice.”

“Sounds delicious, Mama. Can’t wait.” And then he practically sprinted for the door.