A Sister's Quest (20 page)

“Why not?” Honest astonishment widened his eyes. “They are here to assure that no harm comes to me and my friends.”

“If you truly want to talk to me alone, Bartholomew, order them to stay with the carriage.”

Whether he knew she was serious or he was so eager to speak to her that he was willing to comply, she did not ask as he snapped an order. His bodyguards slipped back into the dark to leave them alone on the nearly deserted
Platz
.

When Bartholomew offered his arm, Michelle put her fingers on it. She looked around so she did not have to see the recrimination on his face. There were enough within her, for, if she had been honest from the beginning, he might not have thought that she desired him as much as he did her.

He led her across the
Platz
. The street beyond it was as silent as the plaza. Only the hooves of the horses behind them broke the silence.

“I cannot believe that you wish to stay with Vatutin,” Bartholomew said. “I have seen how you change when he comes near. Something about him terrifies you.”

She almost laughed, for Bartholomew was correct. Something about Alexei
did
frighten her—the strong passions he evoked within her. “I am not afraid of Alexei,” she murmured.

“You cannot love him as I love you.”

“You love me?”

He stopped on the snowy street and turned her to face him. Snow speckled his top hat and his dark coat, but his eyes burned with longing. “I leave before week's end for Coxe-Saxony-Colburg. Come with me, Michelle. I shall introduce you to my family. They will love you as I love you. Come with me tonight. You need not return to Vatutin. I can give you all you need.”

She shook her head. Her vow to maintain this masquerade prevented her from being honest. Now she was not being honest with herself. It was not that promise that kept her from speaking the truth. She could not tell him—or herself—that she wished Alexei were the one speaking to her of love.

Softly she said, “You are kind, but I do not wish to spend my life going from one man to another.”

He took her hands between his and raised them to his lips. His fervor burned into her skin. “Then come with me to Coxe-Saxony-Colburg. I shall never leave your side.”

“Even when you marry, Bartholomew? Your wife would be unwilling to share you with me.”

He laughed. “Now I understand your dismay. I am not asking you to be my mistress. I am asking you to be my wife, my princess, my partner in ruling the lands I shall inherit. You are wiser than any ministers my father has, and you are beautiful. Why wouldn't I want you to be mine?”

In disbelief, she stared at him. He wanted to marry her? “You have overwhelmed me with your offer,” she said when she found her voice. “I wish I could give you the answer you want, but I cannot.”

“Are you refusing me? You prefer to whore for a Russian than to be my princess?”

“Bartholomew!”

“Forgive me, my love. Those were the words of a shattered heart. I love you so much. If you will be mine, everything I have ever dreamed of would be mine. Michelle, be mine.”

Her eyes closed to dam the tears clinging to her eyelashes. Gripping her cloak, she turned to walk along the street, needing to reach the apartment and shut out the world.

Bartholomew's hand halted her. She looked over her shoulder to see his handsome face so close to hers. If she had not known Alexei, she might have been willing to marry Bartholomew in hopes of falling in love with him. Now it was impossible.

When she said that last thought aloud, he slowly released her hand. “May I call on you again, Michelle?”

“I don't think that would be wise.” She held up her hand to halt his protest. “We shall see each other at assemblies, but I think we should avoid any evenings alone. Good night, Bartholomew.”

“Don't you mean good-bye?”

She glanced at his coach, where the door was being held open by one of his guards, then turned to walk along the street. Although she heard the rattle of the iron-clad wheels behind her, she did not acknowledge the carriage. She climbed the steps and closed the door behind her. Through the heavy wood, she could hear the clip-clop as the carriage continued past. She took a deep breath to swallow the tears clogging her throat.

It should not have ended like this. Cinderella had sent herself back to the ashes with no hope of rescue by her charming prince. Hearing a door squeak in the shadows at the back of the hall, she scurried up the stairs to the apartment.

Michelle fumbled in her reticule for her key. Her fingers trembled as she unlocked the door. Praying Alexei was not yet home, she pushed it open. Her hopes vanished when she discovered that the front room was brightly lit. As quietly as possible, she shut the door.

“Michelle, I did not expect you home so early.” Alexei sat with his feet propped, as usual, on the table. “Good, you can help me with some work tonight.”

“It will have to wait until tomorrow.”

“Can it?” He scowled at her. “Are you sure of that?”

“Not now, Alexei,” she whispered. Dropping to the settee, she clasped her hands. The flames on the hearth could not heat the iciness within her. What had been such an innocent flirtation had blossomed too quickly into something she could not control. Just as Alexei had warned.

When the settee shifted, Alexei sat beside her and asked, “Are you going to tell me about it or just sit in silence?”

“I don't know,” she answered softly.

When his arm surrounded her, giving her the haven she needed so desperately, she rested her cheek against his chest and looked up at him. He was not smiling. She was so glad. She could not face his teasing now.

“Tell me,
Liebchen
. Did Prince Charming do something to hurt you tonight?”

“Hurt me?” Her laugh sounded brittle in her ears. “He asked me to leave you and go with him to Coxe-Saxony-Colburg.”

His fingertip caught a tear she had not realized had escaped. Balancing it for a moment, he let it fall, forgotten. “He has asked you to leave me before. If you are distressed because you have changed your mind, do not be. Go with him. When you reach his castle, you can tell him the truth, for by that time it will have no impact on my work.”

“I am not going.”

“Mayhap, if you are so unsettled, you should reconsider. 'Tis a settled life that you would enjoy.”

“Be quiet!”

When she stood, Alexei watched her intently. Every motion she made was as slow as if she waded through a field of ice. He waited for her to speak.

“Alexei, have you ever had a dream come true offered to you?”

“A dream?” He went to where she was standing by the hearth. He sat on the arm of a chair.

She smiled sadly. “I had a dream offered to me tonight.”

“Love?” He was shocked by the swell of an unfamiliar emotion through him. He knew what it was, but he never had expected to experience it himself. Jealousy.
Verflucht!
He did not want to be jealous of Michelle and Prince Charming.

“Yes.”

“That is wonderful,” he said tightly as another pulse of jealousy sliced through him. Although he told lies so often, this was the hardest one. Michelle falling in love with her Prince Charming was something he had not anticipated. But why not? She had offered Alexei her soft kisses, but he had pushed her away … into another man's arms.

Michelle faced him and put her hand on his cheek. His hand covered hers, holding it against him, for if he let it go, he feared she would go, too. Forever.

“Don't lie to me, Alexei. You do not think it is wonderful. You think it is a disaster.”

“A disaster? You should be rejoicing,
Liebchen
, if he asked you to be his mistress.”

“His wife.”

“His wife?” He stood and arched his brows to hide his amazement … and another savage stab of jealousy.

“I told him I could not marry him,” she said.

“Why not?”

She smiled. “I don't love him.”

“That is no reason to turn down the chance to become a princess, Michelle!”

“What do you know about it?” Michelle cried with sudden heat. Anguish crashed through her. “What do you know of love? Or of life? Or of anything but your job, which requires you to prostitute your life to it?”

When he grasped her shoulders, his lips were a bleached line beneath his mustache. She was seared by the emerald fire blazing in his eyes.

“Are you so blind?” he asked. “I know of life and I know of love. Far more than a woman who has spent her whole life in a convent.”

“Alexei—”

“No,
Liebchen
, I have listened to you. Now you will listen to me.” A cold smile twisted his lips. “Don't judge what you do not understand. You should find Prince Charming and beg him to let you reconsider his suit.”

“I don't want to marry him! I do not love him!”

He stroked her shoulders. “How do you know, Michelle? Have you ever been in love?”

“I don't have to be ill to know what being sick is.”

With a chuckle, he sat again. “That might be the best analogy I have ever heard. You are so innocent. If I let you go with him to his court, I would be sending a lamb into a pride of lions.”

“I am glad you can see sense, for whatever reason.” She went to the arch. “I don't belong in a castle somewhere amid the German states.”

“You are right. You belong here in Vienna with me.”

Her heart halted in midbeat as she slowly faced him. Wanting to silence the exultation bursting through her, she could not. “You want me to stay here?”

“Of course.” He stretched. Putting his hand over his mouth, he yawned broadly. “You have become a good member of our team, Michelle. You have not faltered in your role as my mistress, although it must have given you much distress while you were with Prince Charming.”

“And that is why you want me to stay?”

“Of course,” Alexei repeated.

He watched Michelle race along the short corridor. The slamming of her bedroom door warned him that his plan was going just as it should.

Yes, exactly as it should. A plan guaranteed to anger her and make him miserable.

He leaned on the wall and stared at her door. How simple it would be to open that door and answer the passion in her innocent eyes with his own! Just to touch her drove every other thought from his head, except the most important one. She was the one woman in the world he must never possess. No matter how much he wanted her, she could never be his.

Chapter Thirteen

The door of the carriage was opened with a flourish by a footman. Alexei stepped down and held out his hand to Michelle. “Fraulein D'Orage, your admirers await your arrival.”

“Admirers?” Her laugh was uneven.

As he helped her down to the brick walkway, he smiled. “You don't believe you have admirers,
Liebchen
? Surely you have heard the rumors that would make any man eager to catch your eye.”

“Rumors? About Bar—”

“No, the rumor that you are a lost aristocrat traveling incognito in Vienna while you try to regain what your family has lost.”

“What are you babbling about?”

“You have not heard the rumor that you are a Swiss aristocrat traveling in the guise of my mistress?”

In horror, she said with a gasp, “They know about our charade?”

“Not exactly. They think I am your bodyguard.”

“You?” She laughed. “A wolf guarding the lambs would be more trustworthy.”

The irony returned to his smile. “That shows you how stupid rumors can be, doesn't it?”

If he noticed how her hand on his arm trembled, he said nothing. For that, she was grateful. As storm clouds scudded overhead, obscuring the stars, she gazed at the house, which appeared to be lighted by thousands of stars. The gathering at the home of an English diplomat was the first time she had been among the delegates since she had turned down Bartholomew's proposal three days ago.

Rusak smiled and signed at her:
Lovely Michelle, my pleasure to drive tonight
.

She pulled her hand from beneath Alexei's to answer. With a grimace, she corrected a sign that was not the one she wanted. Rusak reached past Alexei to angle her fingers for the word she wanted. She nodded as he held up his hand in the proper sign.

Understood
, she told him.

“Are you two finished?” Alexei asked.

Rusak fired him a glower that needed no translation.

“This was a private conversation,” she said.

“Very private, for no one else can understand.”

“You could if you came to Herr Professor Waldstein's classes. Rusak is your friend. I would think you would want to learn.”

Alexei glanced at Rusak, who turned to climb back into the box. A flash of regret crossed Alexei's face. “Rusak understands I am too busy now.” Taking her hand, he placed it on his arm again. “After all, Fraulein D'Orage, you can teach me when we are traveling home.”

“Home?” Blanching, she gasped. “Do you want me to go to Russia with you?”

“No, you
would be
a lamb among the wolves there.” He drew her up the steps to the door. “Come along,
Liebchen
.” He chuckled.

“What is so amusing now?”

“You are staring at the house like a child at a piece of candy. I hope you are not disappointed.”

She pushed back the hood of her cloak. “I realize that this ball is a way for diplomats to continue plotting.”

“You have such a high opinion of us,” he teased as he led her up the steps to the door.

“Exactly what you have earned.”

“Ouch! That one struck deep,
Liebchen
. Can you withdraw that spear from me so I can deal with the ones waiting inside?”

Despite herself, she could not keep from laughing. When Alexei attempted to charm her, she could not resist. Especially when he looked so handsome in his dark blue coat that opened to reveal the white silk of his waistcoat, which was embroidered with vines to match the roses on her gown. Black breeches accented his white stockings. As her gaze rose to his brilliant green eyes, she wondered if she had ever seen a man who was so handsome and so irritating … and so tempting.