A Soldier Finds His Way (2 page)

* * * *

At the remote cabin, Edward found the same dirt, dust, and musty closed-up smell as his last visit. Some fresh air, that’s what it needed. He opened the door and windows and unloaded the supplies from the snowmobile. He took a deep breath of cold fresh air and listened to the silence of the falling snow, finding a semblance of comfort in the solitude the woods offered. Snow covered the ground and the forecast called for more, but it mattered little to him.

He was glad to be here and relieved the snowmobile had made it the five or so miles from where he’d parked his truck after stalling several times despite its recent overhaul. Hank would be ticked when he heard the knocking in the engine after all the money he’d dumped into it.

The neatly stacked pile of wood he’d cut the previous summer would last quite a while. It had been hard work swinging an ax for hours on end, but now he’d get to reap the benefits. He stoked a good blaze in the fireplace and sat back to chow down on an MRE. Tonight, he hadn’t felt like cooking, but how much longer could he endure eating mushy meals from green plastic envelopes?

Cricket sat a few feet from him with eyes that begged for attention. Each time he cast a glance at her, she shifted her weight from paw to paw in anticipation.

“Okay, it’s not your fault that you’re here. Come here, girl.”

She obeyed with puppyish enthusiasm, and he rewarded her with dual scratching behind the ears. He found her to be a nice-looking dog of dubious heritage, somewhere in the eighty-pound range. Gentle in disposition, she appeared to be mostly Lab, with a couple of other breeds mixed in. Her dark-colored coat, smooth and silky soft, made petting a mutually enjoyable experience.

“You and I’ll get along fine if you try not to talk too much, okay, pretty girl?” She wagged her tail.

Dead tired and ready for bed, he didn’t bother to light the kerosene lamp. “Tomorrow, I’ve got to air out these smelly blankets. I’m glad I brought a couple of clean sheets.”

Great, now he was having one-sided conversations with a dog. He crawled into bed and pulled the covers up to his chin. Cricket jumped up on the bed next to him and plunked herself down with a thud.

“Hey, who invited you?” She looked away as if scolded, but he reached over and petted her for a while. “Most of my guys are home in bed with their wives, and here I am, sleeping with a dog.” He groaned, turned onto his back, and drifted off to sleep.

* * * *

Howling wind woke Edward in the morning while it was still dark.

Cricket jumped from the bed and went to the door. She pawed it and let out a soft whine.

“Okay, I’ll let you out. But make it snappy. It’s freezing out there.” A few minutes later the dog scratched at the door and he let her back inside.

The afternoon brought punishing winds that battered the cabin and molded drifts of white into ghostly figures. Only a fool would dare venture outside unless absolutely necessary. He lowered the curtain he’d pushed aside, stepped away from the window and finished tidying the place.

He primed the hand pump at the kitchen sink, filled a pot and placed it on the woodstove to boil. Spaghetti and canned sauce sounded like a good plan. Tonight he’d eat like a king, not a soldier.

There wasn’t much to the cabin. Except for the bathroom, it was one big room separated by a makeshift curtain of army blankets. The bed and a dresser were on the other side of the curtain. In the kitchen area, close to the woodstove, stood a small wooden table and two chairs that looked as if they’d survived the Civil War. A small countertop surrounded the sink and water pump. Shelves above and below it held stacks of canned goods and other easily prepared food items, MREs taking up the most space.

A stone fireplace built into the wall near the bathroom provided welcome heat on this cold winter day. Cricket’s ears and legs twitched as she lay dreaming on the large braided rug in front of the fire.

He retrieved a book from his duffel and glanced at the recliner. If he sat in it, it would suck him in and lull him to sleep like always. He chose the rocker instead and pulled a wooden crate closer to use as a footrest.

Finally, he could just sit and think. Today, he wasn’t a soldier. No battlefield, no guns, no explosions, no bleeding bodies, no responsibilities. On this much-needed leave, he refused to think of that life. He looked forward to being an ordinary guy with a dog in the woods in the middle of a snowstorm. And what a doozy of a snowstorm it threatened to be.

The gutful of spaghetti hit like a sleeping pill. His eyelids fell like lead shades over his eyes. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt fully rested. A body could only be pushed so far, and he’d pushed his to the limit on too many occasions. He stretched out on the bed, and Cricket jumped up next to him.

“Today’s December thirty-first. My birthday.”

Cricket put her head on his chest and listened while he petted her.

“My last birthday cake was a chocolate layer, my favorite. Seventeen candles. That was seven years ago today. I never got to eat any of it.” He closed his eyes. “Why am I alive? All I seem to do is hurt people. Sometimes life hurts so bad I can barely breathe.”

Audra coiled her legs on the easy chair and set the GPS aside. Setting it up had been a snap. In the morning, all she’d have to do was press go, and let the device guide her home.

On the couch, Mike sat close to Vanessa and caressed the hand she’d laid on the thigh of his faded jeans. “I don’t get it. You found your way to our house okay. So, why would you need a GPS to find your way home?”

“This was my first solo trip out here since you guys moved. Dad drove the first time, and I didn’t pay attention to the roads. He wrote the directions for me but left out several turns and even gave a wrong exit number. Guess he assumed I’d fill in the blanks. Lucky I didn’t end up in Timbuktu, wherever that is.”

Vanessa smiled. “I think what my sister is trying to say is she has a terrible sense of direction.”

“Must run in the family.” Mike jerked his elbow back to protect his ribs. “Only kidding, babe.”

Audra laughed. “By the way, where in the world is Timbuktu?”

“Not in New York, that’s for sure,” Vanessa said. “You better hope none of your students ask where it is, or how to say it in Spanish.”

“I can see it now.” Audra pantomimed headlines in the air. “First year Spanish teacher fired for incompetency.”

Mike stood and smiled at Audra. “I’m going to bed. I’ll check on Zoe on the way. She’s excited about going home with you tomorrow. It’s all she’s talked about for the past week. I bet she doesn’t get much sleep tonight.” He leaned over and gave Vanessa a kiss before leaving the room.

Audra joined Vanessa on the couch. They sat at opposite ends facing one another with a blanket over their legs. Vanessa nudged Audra with her foot. “So tell me, how’s it going in the boyfriend department? Any new prospects since you broke up with Brad?”

She hated to admit it, but she hadn’t had so much as a nibble from the ever-shrinking pool of available men in quite a while.

“No, but after flying solo for three months, I’ve come up with a vision of the kind of man I’m looking for and what I want out of a relationship.”

“Oh?” Vanessa’s left eyebrow rose into an arch.

“I want someone strong, courageous, intelligent, and oozing with manly confidence. Maybe I’m setting the bar too high, but I’d also like him to be handsome and nicely put together.”

“Why settle for anything less than a hot guy?” Vanessa laughed. “What else is on your wish list?”

“This might sound corny, but I want a man who’ll look at me the same way Mike looks at you. His eyes are filled with adoration that confirms his complete and unshakable devotion to you. If someone broke into this house, he would fight to the death to defend you and Zoe.”

Vanessa’s eyes misted. She snatched a tissue from a box on the end table and dabbed a tear from her cheek. “You’re right, he does look at me like that. Sometimes it takes my breath away.”

“If I could find a man who would adore me like that, and be willing to risk everything for me, I’d give him my whole heart without hesitation or reservation.” She sniffled. “Give me one of those tissues, would you, please?”

Vanessa flapped her hands and fanned her eyes. “We better change the subject or we’ll both be crying.”

“Good idea.”

“So, tell me.” Vanessa’s shoulders lifted with a deep breath and dropped with a brisk exhalation. “Is Dad still nursing a hope that you and Brad will get back together?”

“Nursing a hope might be the understatement of the year.” Audra rolled her eyes. “Despite my assurances to the contrary, he seems to believe Brad and I are secretly pining away for one another. Nothing I say seems to persuade him to think otherwise.”

“That’s Dad for you.” Vanessa laughed. “Once he gets his mind set on something, it’s unlikely to change.”

“Brad and I parted ways quite amicably. We both agreed that, having been friends since fifth grade, we were too much like brother and sister to have a romantic relationship.”

“I’m glad you’re still friends. After all, Brad’s practically family.”

Brad would make someone a good boyfriend or husband one day. But she wasn’t that someone. He was too straight-laced, too suit-and-tie, and way too serious all the time.

“What kind of stuff did you and Mike do when you were dating?”

A nostalgic smile spread across Vanessa’s face as she twirled an auburn curl around her finger. “Mike took me to my first hockey game. We cheered for his team, danced the Macarena and ate some really bad hot dogs. I’ve been hooked on hockey ever since. Go, Rangers!” She pumped her fist and laughed.

“Tell me more.”

“Another time, when it was pouring down rain, Mike said, ‘Let’s go puddling.’ I had no idea what that meant, but we headed outside into a torrential downpour and ran through every puddle we could find, flailing our arms, stomping our feet, and screaming like kids.”

“That sounds like such fun.”

“It was. We collided and fell to the ground where he gave me the most awesome, toe-curling, heart-thumping kiss ever. We were soaking wet and altogether muddy, but I’ll never forget those spontaneous moments.” Vanessa smiled and let out a moan of contentment.

Mike had been a good catch. Faithful to his job, yet fun-loving, spontaneous, and devoted to his family, he knew how to balance work and play. Finding another even-keeled guy like him seemed impossible. Too bad Mike didn’t have a brother.

Audra slumped farther down into the couch. “Brad would never jump in puddles or do the Macarena. In fact, I can’t imagine Brad ever doing anything that would get him dirty or sweaty. And, as far as kisses, he didn’t believe in public displays of affection. Always said that total privacy led to total intimacy. I’m not saying I wanted to throw all conviction to the wind, but there’s got to be a balance, don’t you think?”

Vanessa shot her a wide-eyed look riddled with disbelief. “You mean to tell me that you guys never kissed?”

“A peck here and there. Nothing of the toe-curling, heart-thumping variety.” Audra sighed. “Our relationship lacked passion.”

A yawn seemed to take Vanessa by surprise. She looked at the clock on the bookcase. “Almost midnight. I can’t seem to keep my eyes open.

Audra got up, offered a hand, and yanked Vanessa off the couch. “We’ll watch the ball drop next year.”

* * * *

In the morning, Audra watched the weather before she headed into the kitchen.

The legs of the wooden kitchen stool squealed against the tile floor as she pulled it out from under the bar. Vanessa slid a cup of coffee in front of her, exactly the way she liked it, extra light with no sugar. “Thanks.” She sat and took a sip.

“What’s the weather look like?” Vanessa whisked eggs in a bowl.

“One channel said a severe snowstorm would pass well to the north of us. A different channel predicted spotty bands of heavy snow. Both reported the major highways were presently clear and plows were ready.”

Mike came into the kitchen, chugged a cup of coffee, and looked at her with sleepy eyes. “What time are you and Zoe leaving?”

“Nine or so. In about an hour.”

Zoe dropped her little red suitcase by the door and paced with her life-like baby doll hugged to her chest. “Why can’t we go now, Aunt Audra?”

Audra stood, put her hands on her hips and pretended to be irritated. “You’re awfully bossy for an almost-eight-year-old. Can I at least change out of my pajamas and wash my face?”

Zoe wrinkled her nose.

Audra laughed and gave Zoe’s curls a playful toss. “Okay, I’ll go change.”

* * * *

Audra stood at the living room window and pushed the curtain to the side.

Mike loaded her and Zoe’s things into the trunk of her car and trotted back to the house. Bitter-cold air burst through the door with him. “Your stuff’s packed, and I started the engine and turned the heater on full blast.” He blew into his hands and rubbed them together. “It’s cold out there.”

Vanessa pulled Zoe to her. “Have a good time at Grandma and Grandpa’s house. We’ll come get you in a couple of days. I’ll miss you.”

Snow fell soft and silent through still air as Mike strapped Zoe into the passenger side backseat, then opened Audra’s door. She got in and lowered the window. “Bye, Mike. Love you.”

“Love you too. Drive carefully. Call us when you get to your house.” He winked at Zoe in the back seat. “Bye, Princess.”

“Bye, Daddy.”

Vanessa blew a kiss and waved from the living room window.

Audra put the car in reverse, backed out of the driveway, and drove toward the highway. At an intersection bearing a
Right Turn Only
, the GPS voice told her to make a left. She continued on the route she’d committed to memory. Three intersections later, the same thing happened again.

“That’s strange.”

“What’s strange, Aunt Audra?” Zoe looked back at her in the rearview mirror.

“It’s nothing, sweetie. I’m trying to get used to my new GPS, that’s all.”

On the main road, the GPS finally settled down. The snow came down a little heavier, and Audra turned the windshield wipers up a notch. The GPS lost its signal a few times, and after about forty minutes, directed her to exit the highway.