A Special Ops Christmas (4 page)

Landing again on U.S. soil always gave Aiden a rush of
happiness and a sense of accomplishment after a mission. A few times they’d
come back with heavy hearts after losing someone; each member of the team knew
his occupation carried a high-risk factor. But this time the mission had been
successful. Aiden wanted the same success for his marriage.

Christmas music filled the air everywhere, on nearly every
radio station, throughout the jam-packed department stores, and even at the
doctor’s office where Vivianne worked. The cheery holiday music starkly
contrasted with her mixed emotions as Vivianne started her shift for the day.
Normally, she threw herself into the holiday season, decorating before everyone
else, but this year was a struggle. The holidays really drove home the fact
that she might be losing her marriage.

Despite her slightly off stomach, she still smiled at the
people in the waiting room as she walked back toward the office area. The
medical building was professionally landscaped outside and expertly decorated
inside, but it still had a ‘down home’ atmosphere. Hand-stitched quilts hung on
the walls, with the local quilting club rotating in new quilts every four to
six months. Vivianne loved the special holiday quilt, prominently displayed in
the waiting room, with vivid winter scenes in each square. You could spend an
hour looking through them, from the family having a snowball fight to the
children drinking hot cocoa.

The children’s corner was another touch that added to the
homey and welcoming setting. Previously, the corner had been a plain space with
a small window high on each wall, several bean bags, scattered toys, and a low
table stacked with children’s books. That had changed when Vivianne had a few
co-workers over for a barbeque and they saw her artwork lining the walls. She’d
always loved to draw people and had a sizeable collection of drawings that
showcased her passion. Some of her friends thought she was wasting her artistic
talent by being a nurse; they had even encouraged her to pursue art as a
full-time career. Yes, she loved art, but her passion to help people was even
greater. And, as it turned out, her artistic talent was useful at her job. She
often drew pictures for sick kids to cheer them up or to reward them after
receiving shots or stitches. She excelled at sketching Obi-Wan Kenobi waving
his lightsaber, or an Evening Star Princess wearing a jeweled tiara.

Recognizing Vivianne’s talent and its positive effect on
their patients, the office had all but begged her to paint a mural that
stretched across the two walls of the children’s corner. Vivianne eagerly
obliged, and in very little time the corner had blossomed with bright and colorful
happy characters, smiling down on the little patients.

As she walked by the mural today, Vivianne thought of
painting her own nursery. Despite all of the tension in her marriage, she
became more attached to the baby growing in her womb with each passing day. She
couldn’t help but daydream about having an ideal happy marriage, imagining them
waiting for their baby, and picturing Aiden’s face as he held his child for the
first time.

But what if their marriage fell apart? What if they were
never a family?

She always came back to the truth of her situation,
including the unfortunate fact that her husband had no idea she was expecting a
baby. But how could she tell him when they were talking about divorce? Of
course Aiden would do “the right thing” and stay with his family, but that
might only make things worse. She would always wonder if he stayed there,
trapped, because they’d created a child together. Then, later on, he might end
up leaving anyway, hurting that child even more.

No, she wanted to resolve things one way or the other before
he knew. That way she would at least know if he loved her and wanted to be with
her. When he learned about their baby, it might further complicate things, but
she had to know where
she
stood with Aiden first.

Vivianne sat down at her desk and booted up her computer.
After a minute, she reviewed her work notes for the day’s tasks ahead. She also
checked her personal email in a different window—since she was a few minutes
early, she wasn’t on the clock yet—and a new message from her husband jumped
out amid the holiday emails from friends and family members.

Had he changed his mind? Aiden had asked her to hold off on
making any decisions, but… maybe he had taken a preemptive strike.

She was surprised at the length of the email, which almost
made her laugh—Aiden was usually straight to the point. She would have at least
smiled, but her nerves were pricking all over, and her stomach knotted up even
more. Then she let her eyes focus on the words.

Vivianne, it was so good to hear your voice. I don’t
think you know this, but it’s you that holds me together. You are my center. I
do my job and I come back you, and that’s when I feel like the real me.

She continued reading through blurry eyes. He had signed it
All
my love, Aiden.

He was obviously making a sincere attempt to communicate his
feelings from the heart, to win her over again. Loving him had never been a
problem. That man could take her breath away by flashing the O’Riley smile.
She’d always been so proud to be with a man like him, someone so strong and yet
loving.

I will commit to nurturing our union, including keeping
the lines of communication open.

Her own confusion made it hard for the words to sink in. She
had to fight through layers of hurt and… guilt. She had hidden more than her
pregnancy from her husband, and it would be impossible to go forward until she
unburdened this secret.

“Morning, Viv!” Her co-worker, Sheila, hustled by, dressed
as one of Santa’s elves over her nursing uniform. “Ready for the rush? Are you
feeling better?” Sheila had a cheery, sing-song voice.

Vivianne couldn’t help but smile. “A little better, thanks.
It was just a stomach thing.” People had noticed she’d taken a few days off and
came in later now, but thankfully no had put two and two together so far. It
wouldn’t take long, however, in a doctor’s office. “Hey, Sheila, could you
cover me for a few minutes? I need to take care of something.”

“Of course, no problem.” Sheila smiled and patted Vivianne’s
shoulder before walking away, singing slightly off key to
Frosty the Snowman
playing softly in the background.

After several minutes of blankly staring at her computer
screen, one clear thought rose amid all Vivianne’s confusion. She read Aiden’s
words once again, then she clicked “reply” and began typing.

She stared at his I.D. for a few seconds too long, making
Aiden nervous. He simply smiled at her when she looked up, and then she waved
him through security. One hurdle cleared. Now he was in ATL and would soon fly
across the US and to Vivianne.

He wasn’t happy about the five hour layover in Atlanta,
simply because he wanted to see Vivianne now and not five hours later. He ate a
quick burger, enjoying the fast food and the air of civilian normalcy all
around him. People were wishing each other Merry Christmas and talking about
who they would soon visit.

His cell rang while he was slowly chewing his last bite. Did
they catch him already? That seemed doubtful. It could be important so he
answered, his chest tight. “O’Riley.”

“We got you a quicker flight,” Daniels said. “Unless you
want to sit around there for a few hours.”

“No, not at all, but how did you do it?”

Daniels was quiet for a second. “Well, apparently some
people have the power to move around take off times. And it’s better to keep
you moving, just in case. That other flight was scheduled in case we needed
it.”

Aiden got his new flight information and hustled across the
airport to catch the new plane. Once he was on his final flight to California,
this started to feel real. This flight was shorter and he couldn’t sleep. The
time went by painfully slow and then suddenly too fast, as he realized they
were nearing their destination.

“All passengers return to your seats and prepare for
landing. It has been my pleasure to be your pilot today. Have a very Merry
Christmas.” 

Viv, I’m coming home.
Before Aiden knew it, the plane
was touching down in a smooth landing. He hoped it’d be a good omen for things
to come with his wife. With all his heart he longed to make it home to Vivianne
and envelop her in his arms.

Just the thought of their reunion sent happy endorphins
through his brain, almost like the sensation of eating a very hot pepper and
feeling it all over his body. Although he knew they had some hurdles to overcome,
simply laying eyes on the woman he loved was enough to thrill him to the very
core.

Once again, he went through security without any problems.
He’d need to rent a car now and hoped the credit cards Arora provided would
work.

Before anything else, he checked his email, hoping to see
one from Vivianne.
We’re so close, baby.
She had written. Happiness
swelled in his chest but quickly deflated as he read on.

Thank you for being so honest, Aiden. I know that it took
a lot of effort on your part to convey your feelings in writing.

I have something to tell you, too. I don’t believe that
I’ve crossed any lines or done anything wrong, but this is something you should
know about. As hard as it is to write this, you really must know if we are
serious about making our marriage work.

This concerns your friend Travis. Since he lives just
down the street, he started coming around more this last year when you were
away on missions. In all honesty, it was so nice for me to have someone to talk
to, and soon I realized how much I needed that. At first, he and I both saw it
as just a close friendship. I’m not sure exactly when things changed, but I began
to notice he came by more and more often to check on me. He also started to hug
me—innocent friendly hugs at first and then more frequent, more intimate hugs.
So I guess I knew his feelings had changed. But I didn’t tell him to back off.

Then, things changed when you told me about that girl on
your last mission. I’m not sure if you truly understand how much that hurt me.
I know we talked and talked about it. I tried to explain how deeply that
situation affected me, but I never felt you really understood my devastation.
We had been trying to get pregnant for a year and a half, as you know. But I
felt like a bad wife and that something was wrong with me because I couldn’t
get pregnant. When you told me about her I felt like I failed twice. We were
fighting so much about your job during that time, and I felt sure she would
understand your responsibility to your job, and everything else about you, a
lot better than I did. I started thinking about how you could be happier with
her and could even start a family. I was consumed with fear, insecurity, and
jealousy.

I found myself telling some of this to Travis. I’m sorry.
I knew that would hurt you, especially since he was a friend. But that might be
part of the reason why I did it. I wanted to hurt you like you had hurt me.

I wasn’t sure how far I would take it, though. In August,
a week before you came back, he hugged me goodbye and leaned in to kiss me. I
didn’t kiss him, Aiden. I pushed him away and said no. He left.

I feel guilty because I intentionally did something to
hurt you. I also feel guilty because I was thinking about doing things that
crossed the line, even though I didn’t act on those thoughts.

You came back, and we tried to talk through everything—about
trying to get pregnant, your emotional affair, and our constant arguing. I
didn’t want to throw in something else to confuse the situation, especially
since it was over by then.

I know you wanted to wait till we could talk in person,
but I’m scared to say all this to your face. Not scared of you. Just scared of
what this will do to you.

I do love you, Aiden, with all my heart.

Talk to you soon,

Vivianne

His heart sank lower and lower as he read each word. Anger
soon followed his heartache, along with every emotion in between.

Among the emotions he felt was pure, red-blooded male
jealousy. Next, he imagined plowing his fist right through Travis’s nose.
Travis was shorter, smaller, and weaker than Aiden. He could beat the life
right out of him in a minute flat if he wanted to. The desire was certainly
there, but as he sat there thinking, he replayed his life with Vivianne. He
thought about all the pain he had inflicted upon her in the recent past. He
loved her, too, and tried his hardest to make her happy, but yet he had failed
miserably in some ways. To be honest, it really wasn’t Vivianne’s fault that
she had turned to another man for support. Aiden took the blame for his part in
making her unhappy.

As for Travis, he was—emphasis on
was
—Aiden’s friend.
What was he doing coming on to Vivianne?! It sounded like Travis had come
looking to replace him, knowing that Vivianne was vulnerable. Damn Travis!

The email didn’t say if she’d seen Travis since the
attempted kiss. Aiden couldn’t help but wonder if his so-called friend was
still attempting to “check on” his wife on a regular basis.

Vivianne slowly awoke on Christmas morning as the dim light
streaked through the curtains, thinking that maybe she should have gone to her
parents’ house. They’d invited her to come over last night and wake up with
everyone to open presents. Her sister would be there, her nieces, and even
Uncle Phil. She just…couldn’t.