A Storm of Pleasure (9 page)

“I think you should turn me out of your household.”

Harald frowned at her words. “What?”

“If you publicly disavow me, your honor will not suffer because of my choice.”

It seemed straightforward to her—if it was known he’d turned his back on her this day, he would appear to be protecting his honor and would not suffer humiliation from her acts. In her mind, it was one way to prevent him further problems. Katla watched as his expression hardened and he shook his head.

Without a word, he turned and left the room, slamming the door behind him. Unsure whether she should return to the Truthsayer’s chambers or wait for him to summon her, Katla decided to wait. Knowing that she would have to pack, she found a servant in the corridor and asked her to find Godrod. She also asked if the woman knew where Harald had headed.

When the woman pointed in the direction of the Truthsayer’s chambers, Katla feared for both men. For Harald because the Truthsayer was high in the earl’s esteem and could ruin him with a word. And for the Truthsayer because Harald was more dangerous when quiet and deliberate than when filled with rage.

Katla closed the door behind her and went to the Truthsayer’s chambers, hoping to intervene before someone was hurt.

G
avin paced, feeling nervousness and anticipation growing within him. He’d never expected her to share herself with him so completely, never expected her to agree to accompany him back to Durness. Something wonderful happened when they joined: she made it possible for him to quiet the raging clamor in his head, even to block out the noise entirely.

With some time alone, he hoped to discover the reason for this new relief and to learn how to control the power that directed his life. For the first time since his power and its aftereffects began to spin out of control, he dared hope that he might discover more information about his origins.

The footsteps approaching his door were moving fast and were too heavy to be a woman’s. Haakon was in his bedchamber preparing to leave, so it could not be him. There was only one, other than the earl, who would enter without arranging it beforehand. Harald barely stopped as he opened the door and then strode forward until he stood in front of Gavin. They had a friendship of a sort, one that would be sorely tested by the woman they both wanted.

The strange glint in his eyes should have been a warning to Gavin, but his friend was usually not one stirred to violence. The punch landed on his jaw and drove him to his knees. Haakon heard and called out to the guards, but Gavin waved them all off. He and Harald would have this out man to man, friend to friend.

“Damn you! Why her?” he said. “Of all the women Magnus could provide, why must you have her?”

Gavin wiped his bleeding mouth with the back of his hand, not bothering to rise. “I have no choice, Harald.” And he did not, for she was the first woman to give him peace. “The bigger question is why did you not tell her?”

“Tell her what?” he asked.

“That you love her.”

Harald backhanded him then, and Gavin fell back onto the floor. “After what you have done and plan to do, do not tell me how I feel about her.”

“If she’d known, mayhap she would not have sought me in Durness and ended up in my bed the first time. Have you thought of that?” he asked, knowing he was inviting more punishment, yet even more certain that this must be clear between them.

Harald glanced at him with bleak eyes and nodded. “Words are not something that spring easily to my tongue,
Truthsayer
. I offered her what she needed, believing that when she recovered from her sorrow, she would understand what I’d done. I hoped there would be time for words.”

Harald reached down and helped him to his feet.

“Do not do this, Gavin. It will destroy her. You will finish with her and turn to others, and she will not understand.”

“And she understands your having a wife before her?” Gavin asked. He wiped his mouth again. The look in Harald’s eyes made him take a step back, out of reach.

“I offered her an honorable place in my household. She will be an important part of it. She could have a family and a good life with me. Katla understands that.” Harald rubbed his ribs, and Gavin was reminded of the scene in the yard that no one knew he’d witnessed. “What do you offer her, other than a month of pleasure?”

Gavin lifted his hands and made fists, about to punch his friend, until he realized the man spoke the truth. And more of it than Harald knew or understood at this point. He dropped his hands.

“I need her, Harald. I need the peace and silence that her passion seems to bring to my soul.” He shrugged, not knowing how to explain the weaknesses he’d hidden from everyone around him. “And I suspect I will have nothing to offer her when this is all done.”

Harald searched Gavin’s face.

“What do you mean? You have wealth beyond imagination. You have a high place in the earl’s household and in his regard. What woman would not want that?” He thought on the gold neck ring and armbands Katla had worn this morning. Few men he knew could gift that kind of jewelry to their women.

He could tell Gavin was not certain how to explain what was bothering him. Over the years since the earl had found the Truthsayer, Gavin had never taken on airs or behaved as though he was better than anyone else. Indeed, until these last six or seven months when he’d begun to seek isolation in Durness, he’d trained with the other men, worked when needed, and been part of gatherings in Birsay.

But the last months had seen a staggering increase in his drinking and his strange and secretive behaviors. Gavin had begun to act like a madman at times. Sullen and silent at others.

The women had always been drawn to him—the attraction was part of his powers mayhap—but now his incessant need for them grew each month. He used them and discarded them. Until today. Until Katla.

Gavin sighed and met his gaze. “My powers are building toward some conclusion that I cannot know, but I fear it will mean the end of me.”

Harald was stunned by this news. “Does the earl know?”

“’Tis not something I trust to a messenger. Since he has been away with the king in the Western Isles, we’ve had no discussion.”

Harald shook his head. “Mayhap you misunderstand the signs? Mayhap this is leading to even more power? Is there no one who has knowledge of this?”

But Harald knew there was no such person. He’d been the one to seek out information about this man with the strange ability, like the soothsayers of legend. Though everything pointed back to Durness, the trail ended there, for the people who’d raised him had died years before and had never spoken of his origins.

“Nay.” Gavin’s voice was stark with fear.

But then Harald watched his eyes brighten as he gazed at something over his shoulder. He did not need to turn to see who stood there. “Do not hurt her, Gavin.”

His friend nodded without looking away from her. Harald could hear her shallow breathing, as though she was out of breath from running. Bitterly, he wondered which of them she was worried over. “And do not disappoint her.”

“Disappoint her?”

“She expects you to save her brother. That is why she will be your whore for the next month. It’s why I let her search for a way to help him.”

Gavin looked abruptly away from Katla and met his gaze. “Save her brother? That is what she asked me to do?”

“Aye. What did you think?” Harald realized just then that Gavin did not know the reason for Katla’s agreement or the price he must pay. “How could you not know?”

Gavin grabbed his arm and drew him closer. Leaning in, he spoke in a low tone so that none would hear. “After the ritual, I hear many voices, but not with my ears. They are deaf for days. If she asked that, I did not hear it.” He glanced at her once more. “I thought she asked for something for you.”

“I know not what demons ride your soul now, but do not make her part of it. If you cannot help her brother, do not let her believe you can. It is the only thing important to her now.”

Harald stepped back from him and began to turn to leave. He must speak to Katla, and he steeled himself for the sight of her, pining for Gavin instead of him.

“She will need you, Harald. Say the words so she knows you will be there for her.”

What a strange situation to be in, Harald thought. The two of them, both wanting the same woman, both unwilling to allow her to be hurt, both having been involved in the worst thing ever to happen to her. The two of them friends, unwilling to hurt each other. And all three using the others for their own reasons. How could this turn out well?

“She will damn us both for the parts we have played in destroying her family if she finds out the whole of it,” he warned. “She knows I carried out the orders to bring her father to justice, but has no idea that we provided the reasons for such action on the earl’s part.”

Harald turned then, finished with words, and walked to the door of the chamber, where Katla did indeed stand waiting. But, instead of gazing at Gavin, she frowned and watched Harald approach with worry and concern in her eyes. She placed her hand on his arm when he came close enough.

“Are you well?” she asked, searching his face as though expecting more injuries.

“I will send your things to you,” he replied, unable to say anything more personal.

“Harald…” she began. But she did not go on.

“Send me word if you need me,” he offered. “Protect yourself, Katla. Do not let your heart be involved in this…arrangement. He will only break it.”

He watched as her lips trembled and her hands shook. Harald kissed her on the forehead and left her to his friend.

A
fter days of wondering whether his angel was real and then an entire night of unbridled pleasure with her, Gavin finally accepted that she was indeed made of flesh and blood. After making a hasty departure from Birsay, they’d set up camp en route to Durness. Now an awkward silence fell between them. He did not know what to do next.

And he would have her for a whole month.

As his exhausted body reminded him, they could not couple every minute of every day of the next thirty or so days. There needed to be something else between them. Growing to manhood, he’d often dreamed of having a family, but when his gift became apparent, so, too, did his need and attraction for women.

At first, it manifested itself as simply an ability to draw women to him and into his bed. As the strength of his powers grew, so did his sexual hunger and the ability to actually draw or summon women to him. Then, that scent seemed to ensorcell them, bending them to his will.

Until now.

Until Katla.

His skills at bedplay were impressive, but they did not extend to his being at ease with women out of his bed. Truly, when he’d asked her to come back to Durness with him, he’d not thought of much other than bedding her. But now there would be time enough for other things. Like meals and walks and bedding her at leisure without the clamoring in his head or the insatiable need in his blood.

Though he expected the blur of thoughts and voices to begin again at any moment, he did seem able to push them away now. He pictured a wall in his mind and pushed the sounds behind it. Without the clatter, there was no pain. Without the pain, there was no need to drink himself insensible. Without the extended periods of drunkenness and unconsciousness, he could have a life.

He glanced across the tent to where she sat, silently folding her garments in the light of the oil lamp. Did she know her power? Did she know the extent of his? He had the next month to discover whatever linked them before he must return her to Harald.

He rubbed his jaw, sore where Harald had struck him, and considered his friend’s actions. He would be far worse off if Harald had wanted him to be—he’d seen the powerful warrior in battle and in training, and Gavin knew he would still be facedown on the floor if Harald had intended it to be so.

No matter what Harald had said to either of them, Gavin knew his friend would take her back. Gavin had not realized what was between the two of them when he’d recognized Katla and ordered her brought to him. He’d given the order to Harald because Harald did his bidding. It was only when Katla arrived in his chambers and he saw the exchange of glances between them that he’d suspected an involvement.

Do not hurt her, Gavin
. Harald’s voice had spoken of his true feelings for Katla. Gavin recognized the love in his tone even if Harald had not.

A pang of guilt pierced him then, for he did not want to hurt either of them. But his actions had. His desperate desire to find answers, to find peace, and to find a balance to his life drove him. He would push aside his guilt.

Katla shifted then, sorting the clothing in the sacks her servant had brought to her after Harald left. It appeared to be everything she had, and it had been stuffed into the canvas sack in haste. He was content then to simply watch her—studying her movements.

They’d left as the tide returned, heading west and then south down the coast of the mainland. The weather had turned bad, and they were forced to land on the southern coast of Hoy, not daring to test the waters of the Pentland Firth. The voyage back to Durness would take longer than the one to Birsay, for they would be sailing against the currents much of the way and relying on rowers rather than the power of the wind. Gavin did not mind the rough seas, but he noticed that the color in Katla’s face drained with each pitch and yaw of the boat.

When the suggestion was made to make camp on land, it had seemed a good idea to everyone. As the setting sun took refuge behind tumultuous clouds, they’d put up some tents and managed to cook a meal. By the time they’d eaten, it was pouring rain and they sought shelter inside for the night.

Katla had been quiet through the rest of the day, not speaking unless he spoke to her. Gavin found it strange to be with a woman in a companionable silence and not be seducing her. And he discovered an almost shyness in her behavior—strange for a woman who had been as intimate as one could be with a man. And with a month of nights filled with all manner of pleasurable acts stretched out ahead of them, he found he did not feel such a rampant need to take her this night.

Truly, he was exhausted. He had slept only fitfully after the ritual, not at all the night before. When their bedding was laid and the tent tied closed against the rain, his eyes would not stay open. He slid down and opened his arms to her. She did not hesitate to join him there, putting out the lamp and climbing into the pile of blankets and furs. In moments she lay snuggled in his embrace as the rains beat against the canvas of the tent.

He had not even bothered to remove his clothing, and so he started out of a doze when he felt her untying the laces of his tunic. His placed his hand over hers.

“Nay, you do not have to do that,” he whispered. The warmth of her nearness permeated his body, urging it to rest.

“I thought it was why you brought me with you,” she answered, not moving her hand from beneath his.

He turned onto his side and pulled her next to him, spooning their bodies, and adjusted the furs over them. With only one good night’s sleep in months, Gavin knew it would take many to feel restored.

“There will be time for everything else, Katla. For now, I just need to rest.”

Katla listened as his breathing became deep and even and slow. He’d fallen asleep faster than she would have believed possible, and without one drink of wine or ale or other spirits as she knew was his usual habit. Haakon’s face, and the surprise on it when the Truthsayer refused his offer of such, told her much about his dependence on those intoxicants.

His breath against her ear warmed and chilled her at the same time. She’d never slept the night with a man, so it was odd and uncomfortable in a way. Harald had always left her bed after coupling with her, never spending the night. Oh, she’d shared a bed or pallet with other women in her father’s household when guests stayed or when her cousins came to visit. But to be held by a man who’d touched and pleasured every inch of her body…and who would again, caused a strange awareness within her.

A feeling that kept her awake most of the night in spite of the complete exhaustion in her body.

She dosed fitfully, unable to move much at all because his arm lying over her held her in place securely. Finally sometime deep in the dark of the night, she fell asleep.

“Katla.”

His voice crept into the haze of sleep, but instead of waking her, she shifted against him and settled back to sleep.

“Katla,” he repeated, this time squeezing her to rouse her. “We need to leave.”

Katla pushed the hair back from her face and rubbed her eyes. Stretching out the stiffness in her arms and legs from remaining in one position too long, she rolled away from him and watched as he did the same. Sitting up, she rearranged her gown and tunic before standing. Being careful not to bang her head into the top of the tent, she crept to the open flap and climbed out.

The men were all busy about various tasks in their camp. The storm had blown past, and the day dawned crisp and clear and perfect for sailing. Some of the men were already loading their supplies back into the boat. One of the men handed her a bowl of some kind of porridge and a cup of watered ale as he passed. Haakon and two others emptied the Truthsayer’s tent and took it apart, rolling the canvas around the short poles and storing it.

As she watched, the camp was dismantled, packed up, and readied for travel south. Katla felt lost, for she knew not her place here. Last night Gavin had rebuffed her touch, when she’d thought that was the reason he’d brought her along. Then this morning, he’d not acted on the arousal she could feel against her back when he woke her. Now, he was nowhere to be seen and she was left with the men. She found a place to sit and finished the food and drink given to her.

“Katla,” Gavin called out as he approached. “Come.”

He held his hand out to her and she stood. The same man who’d brought her the food and drink took the empty bowl and cup from her, and she followed the Truthsayer along the shore and then away from the water. The path led over the rocky outcrop and into some trees. After a few minutes, he stopped and pointed to the left.

“You can see to your needs at the stream there,” he said, nodding off the path. “I will wait for you here.”

Truly, ’twas not why she’d thought he’d led her away from the others, but she was grateful that he was taking care of her. Katla spent only a few minutes, washing her face, braiding her hair, and seeing to her personal needs before walking back to where he waited. Still, she felt uneasy in his company, uncertain of her place with him. Surely the others on the voyage understood the nature of their involvement; they all seemed to know him well and be familiar with this voyage.

Within half an hour’s time, they boarded the boat and continued their journey, this time without the constant rocking and rolling of the boat on rough seas. Haakon explained their route and the length of time it would take to travel back to Durness. A small sitting area had been arranged for her at one end of the boat, and mostly she stayed there.

She watched Gavin, trying to sort out what kind of man he was now. She’d seen the angry, drunken man in pain. She’d seen the sexual creature he became. She’d seen the otherworldly being who shared his body during the ritual of hearing the truth. But now, she seemed to see just a man.

He walked among the crew speaking to those rowing, and he even helped with the sails a time or two. He spoke at length with Haakon, and they spared her several glances during those conversations. He smiled more than she’d ever seen him do, and each time, the lightness of his expression and the lack of turmoil on his face made him appear much younger. He seemed almost carefree at those times, and she wondered over the change.

“You look weary, Katla.”

She did not realize he’d approached, but he crouched down in front of her now. “Are you well?” he asked. She nodded.

“I did not sleep well,” she admitted. The Truthsayer sat next to her and drew her close.

“Here now, lean against me and sleep a bit. We have hours of sailing ahead and nothing much to do.”

There it was again—that carefree attitude and tone.

“You are different, Truthsayer.”

“Why do you not call me by name, Katla? Everyone else calls me Gavin. Save you.” He smiled at her, a wicked glimmer in his eyes. “Except one time yesterday morning when I heard you speak my name. Over and over,” he said in a whisper that matched the wickedness of his smile.

She shivered for she remembered it well. He’d been seated deep within her flesh, rocking his hips, making her gasp with each movement until she screamed out his name and her pleasure.

“Say my name, Katla,” he urged, his voice deepened by desire. Or the memory of it.

She met his gaze and obeyed his words. “Gavin.”

“Good. Better,” he said, smiling. “And, aye, I am different,” he admitted. He lowered the shoulder nearest her and nodded to her. “Rest a while. We have time to talk once we get to Durness.”

With the long summer days and the sun setting late, they had enough light to sail for hours. From what she’d heard, they’d arrive at the cave by nightfall. She gave in to her exhaustion and slept, resting against him and waking sometime later to find her body reclining with his.

Once more he saw to her needs, providing food and drink and a chance to relieve herself with a measure of privacy. When the cliffs and promontories of the north coast loomed ever larger, he stood next to her at the side of the boat, not touching, but close enough that the sound of his voice teased her skin.

“Why did you agree?” he asked.

“To save my brother’s life,” she answered without hesitation. She thought she might need to remind herself of that reason in the weeks ahead.

“Are you having regrets already?”

She turned to look at him. “Regrets? Nay, Gavin. I will carry out my part of the bargain.” His gaze was intense. “Why do you think that?”

“You have been quiet. You’ve not spoken more than a dozen words since we left Birsay. I thought that mayhap you want to change your decision.”

She heard it there—fear lay beneath his words. What did he have to fear?

“I know not my place with you. In my father’s house, I knew what to do, and most answered to me. In Harald’s household, I had duties and knew what was expected of me. Now, I am here with you and do not know what you expect of me.”

He surprised her by taking her hand in his and tugging her to face him.

“You are my guest, Katla. I want you to be comfortable during your stay. The rest we will take one step at a time.”

She wanted to be clear about this, for he did not seem to have the same appetites of a day ago. “And I am to please you in whatever manner you ask.”

He lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed the inside of her wrist. “It will be about
our
pleasure, Katla. We will seek it together.”

“I do not understand, Gavin,” she began. “Why did you ask me to come here with you, if not to serve you?”

He turned away and stared out toward their destination. Then he smiled.

“To save my life, Katla. Nothing more, nothing less.”