A Strange Fire (Florence Vaine) (6 page)

 I’d give anything to know what he thinks of me, although he could hardly
think much in the positive way of things, since I made such a show of myself on
my first day, completely clamming up and not being able to do something as
simple as introduce myself to the class. Not to mention my other fabulous stunt
later that day, running off on him when he’d wanted to walk me home. I’ll be
lucky if he ever speaks to me again after that.

 Only in a perfect world could a boy like Frank think about me in the
same way I think about him. Not that he’s much of a boy, everything about him
seems so much older, so confident and mature. So strong. I’ll be lucky to
achieve that kind of strength and confidence by the time I’m forty. I don’t
like to be one to lay blame, but thanks to my dad I’ve got the social skills of
a frightened nine year old, and the world weariness of a prisoner on death row
for a crime they didn’t commit.

 Gran is still pottering about downstairs when I head for the bathroom to
take a shower. All of the towels in her house are always so crisp and fresh and
smell like lemons. When I’m finished in the shower I find an old bottle of red
nail varnish amongst the many toiletries in Gran’s bathroom cupboard. I also
discover a relatively new tube of black mascara. Quite the find I must say. I
take them with me back to my room, I’m sure Gran won’t mind. After homework I
spend some time neatly painting my nails, and I fall asleep once I’m done,
quite tragically, to thoughts of Franklin.

In the morning I become so anxious about wearing the new dress that I
almost decide not to. But I force myself to make the effort, people don’t know
me at my new school, I can be anyone I want to be, even a girl who wears nice
dresses every day. I apply some of the mascara and tie my hair up in a
ponytail. I can fool myself into believing that all of this effort is merely to
make myself feel good, but I know deep down that it’s because I want Frank to
talk to me again, and maybe this time I won’t make such a mess of it.

 On my way into school I bump into Caroline and Christian, they both
speak enthusiastically about a trip to the cinema and Pizza Hut on Friday
night. I agree to go with them, not really knowing if I will. I spent most of
Gran’s fifty yesterday so I don’t know if I’ll have the money for it.

 Caroline and her brother share a car, it’s only an old Volvo, but still,
any car is better than no car. So many of the kids at this school seem to have
cars, it’s weird to me because everybody at my old school either walked or took
the bus. Maybe it’s a suburban thing.

 I’ve got English first class with Christian again; we’re early so we sit
outside the classroom and talk. He takes my silver locket, the one Gran gave
me, in his hand and admires it, his fingertips just barely brushing the skin of
my chest as he does so. Perhaps I’m wrong, but that seems like a kind of
intimate thing to do.

 Just as he tells me, “That’s pretty,” a male voice calls, “Hey
Caulfield, you up for another game this Friday?”

 I look up. The voice belongs to Alex Falco. I didn’t realise he and
Christian were on friendly terms.

 Christian grins. “Of course, I wouldn’t miss it,” then he stands and
offers me his hand to pull me up and I take it before quickly letting it go
once I’m standing.

 “Alex, have you met Flo yet?” asks Christian. “She’s new.”

 “Nah not properly anyway,” says Alex, giving me a weird knowing stare.

 “Hello,” I manage, putting my hand out for him to shake. He just looks
at it, as if to say,
a handshake, are you serious?

 After a moment of awkward silence I pull my hand back and struggle not
to walk away in shame.

 “Do you play basketball?” Alex asks with a smirk, and steps a little
closer to me. His shoulder length hair is tied back in a loose ponytail, his
lip piercing glinting silver against the shine from the fluorescent light bulb
overhead. He’s wearing ripped jeans and a Dead Kennedys t-shirt.

 “Not v-v-very well,” I answer, my stammer getting worse as my nerves
increase.

 “If you’re in our PE class on Friday you should join in with the little
tournament we’ve got going, I’m sure Caulfield won’t mind having you on his
team.” Alex continues with a grin.

 “Of course she’ll be on my team, nobody wants to play for the
losing
side,” says Christian.

 “Yeah, yeah, you got us last week I’ll give you that, but not this
week.”

 I see Frank walking down the corridor before the other two, and we lock
eyes immediately. A minute later Alex calls, “Frankie boy, me and Caulfield
were just planning another match for Friday, you in?”

 Frank steps up beside Alex. “Yeah sure,” his eyes are still on me, and
then he says, “Hi Florence,” to me alone.

 “Hey,” I reply, the other two are still talking about basketball, but I
wouldn’t know what they were saying even if I tried listening. Frank’s hair is
messy and damp today, like he just stepped out of the shower. It’s less neat
than the last time we spoke and he’s wearing a navy long sleeved t-shirt with
jeans. He comes around to stand beside me, allowing Christian and Alex to
continue their sports talk.

 “That Business Studies homework was tough wasn’t it,” says Frank,
seemingly trying to make conversation with me.

 “Y-yeah, it t-t-t,” I take a deep breath, he’s just so handsome right
here in front of me and it makes me nervous, therefore my stammer kicks up.
Another deep breath. “S-sorry, I mean it t-took me ages to get d-done.”

 He frowns, his face empathetic. “Is it this bad for you all the time?”
he asks in a gentle voice.

 “Huh?” is all I can say, even though I know what he means. I just can’t
believe he’s asking me this. Most people see the way I speak as an
embarrassment to brush under the carpet and ignore.

 “Your speech,” he clarifies, and then steps even closer so that we’re
standing mere inches apart.

 “N-not all the t-time,” I tell him shyly.

 “Only sometimes?” he asks, his eyebrows rising hopefully.

 “Y-yes, with p-people I don’t know mostly.” I have no clue why I’m
revealing this to him, for some reason I’m compelled to say it.

 “I see. Have you always had it?”

 “Always.” I say sadly.

 “Well there’s nothing else for it,” he says, smiling warmly, “we’ll just
have to get to know each other, that way I’ll be someone you do know and it
won’t be an issue any more.”

 He smiles again, just as the bell rings and then leaves for whatever
class he’s got. To say that I spent the whole of English analysing his words
would be a massive understatement. He said we should get to know each other,
did he mean romantically? Or just as friends? I despise my teenage hormones and
introspection sometimes. On my way to lunch later that day I bump into the
despicable Josh yet again.

 “Hello gorgeous,” he whispers in my ear, so that the passing students
can’t hear.

 “W-what do you want?” I demand. He’s standing in my way, blocking me
from walking past him.

 “You,” he answers with cringe worthy suggestiveness. He’s wearing a pair
of those annoying three quarter length khaki surfer boy pants. Ridiculous since
Chesterport is inland. The sea is a two hour drive away.

 “That’s something you’ll n-never get,” I tell him, my words are becoming
less and less stunted around him, as my desire to put him in his place wins out
over my nerves.

 “Don’t say that, I do love a challenge,” he continues with a sick grin.

 The halls are almost empty now. “Get out of my way,” I hiss.

 “Make me.”

 “Don’t tempt me.”

 “But I like tempting you. Meet up with me on Friday and give me a chance
to show you how much you could
enjoy
my company.” He makes “enjoy” sound
like a dirty word.

 “I already have p-plans.”

 “I’m trying to be friendly Flo,” he replies, seeming a little angry with
my put down, he steps up close to me. “You should say yes to Friday, I can be
very persistent, and I never take no for an answer.”

 “Do you know how rapey that sounds?”

 He shrugs. “Say yes and I’ll leave you alone.”

 “Fuck off.” Out of the corner I my eye I see Frank and Alex making their
way down the corridor, they’re talking about something when Frank spots me and
goes quiet mid-sentence. He seems confused for a moment, but then he must
notice the way Josh is blocking my way and his expression becomes hostile.

 “Are you okay Flo?” he asks, quickly walking up to us, Alex in tow.

 “No I’m n-not,” I say, throwing Josh a harsh glance, while he appears
momentarily startled before quickly returning to his usual cocky demeanour.

 “You’d better start walking mate,” says Frank to Josh.

 “I’ll leave when I’m ready,” Josh spits.

 “No you’ll leave now unless you want to be crawling instead of walking.”

 I can see that Josh is considering making another snide comment but then
he notices how Alex is there as well, and that his chances of getting away
unscathed after a fight with two taller and more muscular boys are extremely
limited.

 “Whatever,” he snaps, sending me a look that says “this isn’t over” and
then slinks off towards the lunch room.

 “Was he hassling you?” Frank asks with concern.

 “Yeah,” I tell him. “Actually I t-think he was making a move on me,
which is really quite creepy.”

 “That guy is a complete lecher, don’t let him get to you,” says Alex.

 “I’ll try n-not to.”

 I flinch just a fraction when Frank reaches out and puts his hand on my
shoulder. Maybe it’s because mostly when people have reached out to me in the
past it was to give me a slap. Thanks Dad. Frank looks a little puzzled, but
then gently rests his hand on my shoulder, his fingertips touching the bare
skin just before my collarbone. As his skin comes into contact with mine I
notice his fiery aura blaze ever so slightly and then die down to its mellow
state again. I look up into his eyes and they are burning down on me.

 “If he tries anything with you again,” says Frank, voice more husky than
usual, “tell me and I’ll sort him out.”

 “Thank y-you,” is all I can say to that.

 “Are you going to lunch now?” he asks, and I nod. “Do you want to eat
with us?” he continues.

 “Oh, n-no I’m supposed to meet Caroline.”

 “She can eat with us too,” he assures me.

 “Um okay, I’ll ask her.”

 “Come on you two,” says Alex impatiently. “I could eat a bloody horse,
let’s get a move on.”

 Frank laughs, oh how I could drown in that sound. “You’re always
thinking of your stomach, Alex.”

 “What can I say, I’m a growing boy.”

 “There are many words to describe you, and boy will never be one of
them.” Frank puts in.

 “I’m just naturally buff,” Alex grins, turning to give me a wink as I
walk alongside them.

 When we get to the canteen I find Caroline waiting impatiently at the
doors, she checks her watch before looking up and seeing me with Frank and
Alex. Shock and interest seem to colour her expression, a far cry from the
snooty way in which she warned me away from these boys not two days ago. I
guess it’s easy to be dismissive of boys when you think there isn’t any chance
they’d ever be caught hanging around with your friend.

 “Flo, what’s up?” she asks, her question loaded as she raises an eyebrow
when I approach her.

 “Oh, Frank and Alex just w-walked me to lunch.” I answer, knowing
they’re still listening, and not wanting her to say anything that will
embarrass me.

 “That was nice of them,” she replies, appearing intrigued.

 “They want to know if we’ll eat with them,” I tell her, leaving out the
fact that it was only Frank who asked and that he’d only said I could bring
Caroline if I wanted to.

 “Well okay, I suppose. This should be
interesting.
”

 Frank comes over to us a second later. “You two ready?”

 “Sure,” says Caroline, with a smile, before we grab our trays and head
for the queue. When we get to Frank’s lunch table the rest of his brothers are
already there, along with Layla. It’s weird how easily they accept the fact
that me and Caroline are eating with them today. I’m sure if Frank turned up at
our usual table there would be many a raised eyebrow. But these boys just give
us a nod and then continue eating and talking.

 Frank introduces me to the two younger boys; they look about fourteen or
fifteen. Their names are Benji and Kevin and they are actually real brothers
who were both taken in by Frank’s foster parents. I’m surprised at how freely
Frank tells me all of this personal information. He doesn’t mention how he came
to live in the foster home, maybe that’s a story for another day. I mostly stay
quiet while we eat, sometimes I feel like I’d rather not speak at all than to
have people notice my stammer.

 Caroline chats away to Alex and Frank as if she hasn’t a care in the world.
After a few minutes Layla begins talking to me from across the table, she’s got
a deep, kind of raspy voice.

 “It’s Flo isn’t it?” she calls over to me.

 “Yeah,” I reply, slightly nervous to be talking to her. She’s got an air
about her that’s both masculine and feminine at the same time, not to mention
confident and carefree.

 “So where did you live before you moved to Chesterport?”

 “T-tribane.” I answer, while swallowing a forkful of rice.

 “Cool, that’s a big place. So you’re a city girl then?”

 “N-not really. Just because I lived in a city doesn’t mean that I liked
it.”

 “Huh,” she says and takes a bite out of a shiny red apple. “You didn’t
like it there?” she continues.

 “Not exactly.”

 “How come?” she probes.

 “Too n-noisy and dirty and crowded,” I tell her, leaving out the true
reason I dislike it. The city contains too many bad memories for me. Memories
of dirty needles and no food in the cupboard.