A Time to Die (2 page)

Kara had contracted her current lung infection in mid-August. One week later, Vince had been afflicted, too. The major difference was that Kara had responded well to the latest round of antibiotics and bronchodilators—Vince hadn’t.

Kara studied Vince’s face. He’d lost weight and looked gaunt and pale. Bright spots of color on his cheeks told her he was still fighting a fever. She’d almost decided to let him sleep and return to visit later when his eyelids opened. She smiled down at him and was rewarded by his smile in return. “Hi,” she whispered. “How’re you feeling?”

Vince lifted the mask off his face. “Better now that you’re here.” His voice sounded raspy.

“I’ll bet you say that to all the girls.”

“Sure. I mean there’re so many in my life.” Kara appreciated his sentiment. She, too, had no one special in her life. CF was a real turnoff in the dating scene. “Are you out of here?” Vince asked.

“Dr. McGee sprang me this morning. I just finished my treatment with Christy, and now I’m waiting for my mom to come and get me.”

“I guess you’ll be able to start school on time.”

“Yes.” She felt sorry for him, knowing he wouldn’t. “You’ll be back in no time yourself,” she added.

His dark eyes looked defeated. “It’s getting harder and harder to make a comeback.”

Kara felt a flicker of fear, knowing he was talking
about more than returning to school. “You’ll do it. I’ll save you a place in the cafeteria.”

With effort, Vince made a face. “No need to threaten me.”

She laughed and squeezed his hand. “I promised Dr. McGee I’d put on ten pounds by Christmas. It was my bargaining chip for blowing this joint. We can go out for hot fudge sundaes with Christy.” Christy was Vince’s therapist, too.

Vince’s gaze traveled over her face tenderly. “I think you’re beautiful, Kara.”

“Nice try, Chapman, but I know the truth. I’m four foot ten and weigh eighty pounds. I’m skinny and ugly and”—she held out her hands—“and my fingers look funny.” The clubbed appearance of her fingertips was typical of CF victims. She disliked her hands and tried not to draw attention to them.

Vince lifted his arm, pulling the IV line taut and touched the tip of his clubbed finger to hers. “ET phone home,” he said.

“I’ll phone you every day,” she promised, knowing firsthand how long and lonely the days were in the hospital.

“Will you come visit me once school starts?”

“Of course. I’m supposed to get my driver’s license
if
Mom and Dad don’t chicken out. Honestly, my folks treat me like I’m still a kid.” She made a face.

“When you get your license, take me for a ride, all right?”

“Anywhere special?”

“How about Hawaii?”

“Small problem. There’s an ocean between us and Hawaii.”

A smile flickered on his lips. “Look, if you’re always going to make up an excuse …”

“Sorry. You’re right. When we hit California, we’ll sell the car and buy a boat.”

“Let’s take a ship. How about the
Love Boat?
We can stand by the rail and watch the moon on the water.”

“Sounds like a dream.”

“And when we get to the islands, we’ll lie on the white sand and eat pineapple and poi and watch the sunset.”

She smoothed a lock of his black hair, wishing such dreams could really come true for them. Maybe that’s why she and Vince talked and joked about their getaway so much. They both knew it was impossible. Kara’s parents would take her on a vacation anywhere, but she didn’t want to go under the conditions her illness dictated. She wished she could see the world without the daily routine of CF. The threat of lung infections and the fear of being away from her medical support system were ever present. “It would be fun,” she said. “Maybe someday, we’ll get our wish.”

“I wish I hadn’t brought you down,” Vince said, eyeing Kara’s expression.

She brightened. “Wait a minute here … How many wishes are you making? Don’t get greedy, you know.”

Before he could answer, he was suddenly
racked by a coughing spasm. She grabbed a small basin from the bedside table and held it for him while he gagged. A trail of blood appeared in the bowl. “Should I ring for a nurse?”

He leaned back against the pillow, looking exhausted. “It’s just a small bleed,” he insisted. “The doc says it’ll clear up.”

Kara reached over and picked up Vince’s oxygen mask and slipped it over his mouth. “You need to keep this on.”

He took hold of her hand. “You
are
beautiful.” His voice sounded muffled by the plastic shell of the mask.

Her heart went out to him. “Feel better, Vince. See you soon.” Kara slipped from the room, suddenly eager to get outside into the fresh air and sunlight. She hated the hospital, the smells, the procedures, the confinement. She wanted to go home. She wanted to go back to school. She wished she could lead a normal life. “Being sick is the pits,” she muttered under her breath. Being sick with cystic fibrosis was the worst.

    “Kara: Earth to Kara. I don’t think you’ve heard a word I’ve said about my class schedule.” Elyse Shepherd sounded exasperated.

Kara was twisted in her chair, looking over the crowded cafeteria. Guiltily, she turned toward her friend. “Sorry. I’m on the lookout for Eric Lawrence, Christy’s brother.”

“That’s all you’ve talked about for two days. You act as if it’s some sort of sacred mission or
something. Is he gorgeous or dog chow? You haven’t said either way.”

Kara nibbled at her sandwich without much appetite. “I told you—I’m just helping out like Christy asked me to.”

“Maybe he’ll need a girlfriend. I just happen to be available,” Elyse said, flapping her eyelashes. “Or maybe you’ll be his type—”

“ ’Fraid not. You know how much school I missed last year being sick. This year I aim to stay healthy and have a good time—you know, get to know more people, join some clubs.”

“Kara, don’t overdo it. Anyway, sometimes I think you try too hard to fit in around here.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’ve watched you knock yourself out for people all the time, and they don’t appreciate you. You should be more concerned about your health.”

Kara knew that Elyse was trying to be helpful. After all, they’d been friends since junior high. But no matter how much Elyse tried, Kara realized, she could never truly understand Kara’s illness. Not just the illness, but the feelings of helplessness and isolation that came along with it. “I’m going to
do
things this year,” Kara insisted stubbornly.

“What about the spring dance committee last year? You worked and worked. I know you thought Kevin Wright would ask you to the dance, but he didn’t, even though he flirted with you the whole time you were on the committee together,” Elyse said.

Refusing to allow Elyse the satisfaction of knowing how much Kevin’s rejection still meant, Kara retorted, “I worked on the dance because I wanted to. Kevin’s at college now. It doesn’t matter, anyhow.” But deep down, it
did
matter. Kara remembered how Kevin had appeared so interested in her until he found out about her illness. He’d retreated so fast that there couldn’t have been any other explanation.

“Kevin was a creep,” Elyse muttered darkly.

With a swig of milk, Kara washed down the enzyme pills that she had to take before every meal to help her body digest food properly. “I made up my mind a long time ago not to let this illness get in my way. Only a few people know the secrets of my soul—”

“You mean Christy and Vince.”

“Yes. And you understand plenty about me, too.” She didn’t add that because Elyse was healthy, she could
never
truly understand. “I want people to treat me as if I’m just a regular person.” Kara leaned forward. “I think Eric just walked into the cafeteria. Look, over there by the side door.”

Elyse followed Kara’s gaze. “The guy does look lost. But then, on the first day, who doesn’t?”

“I’ll be back if he doesn’t want to be bothered.” Kara stood abruptly. She wove her way through the maze of tables and noisy groups of juniors who had the same lunch period. The closer she got, the more nervous she became and the more ridiculous she felt. Eric Lawrence was tall, probably over six feet. His hair was shaggier than in the
photo she’d seen, but his eyes were the same startling bright blue.

He was standing, looking bored. “Are you Eric?” Kara asked.

He looked down at her and without smiling asked, “How’d you know my name?”

She tipped her head up toward him and, grinning, said, “I’m one of Central’s ‘it’s-the-first-day-of-school-and-I-don’t-know-a-living-soul-patrol.’ I’m here to give you a friendly warning about the cafeteria food.”

“You’re too late,” he said. “I’ve already had the food. Now how else can you be friendly? You aren’t in any of my classes. I would have remembered. So back to question number one: How do you know my name?”

Kara glanced around. “We’ve got fifteen minutes before the end of lunch. Let’s go outside, and we can talk.”

T
HE WARM
S
EPTEMBER
sunshine felt good to Kara. She found an empty bench and plopped down. The air was fragrant with the scent of flowers, which she silently hoped wouldn’t irritate her lungs and cause her to start coughing.

Eric sat beside her. “Is your mission really to ferret out loners and make them feel welcome?”

“I lied,” she admitted, suddenly feeling nervous. “I know your sister, Christy.”

“You’re the one she told me about.”

For a moment Kara’s heart constricted. Had Christy mentioned that she had CF? Would it turn Eric off before she ever had a chance to get to know him? “Did she tell you that I’m really a princess under the spell of a wicked math teacher?”

He grinned at her. “She said she was paying you big bucks to be nice to me and check out what I’m up to. Believe me—” He fumbled for her name.

“Kara,” she supplied. “Kara Fischer.”

“Believe me, Kara, whatever she’s paying isn’t enough.”

She laughed. Eric had appealed to her from the moment she’d seen his picture, and now, sitting next to him, she felt that her first instincts about him had been right. Eric was quick and fun and very good-looking. “Tell me, how does Nashville compare to Houston so far?”

“I’ve only been here four days. I haven’t seen too much of the city. There are more hills than in Texas, and it’s a lot greener, too.” His gaze skimmed over her body. “Girls here are pretty, and so far, I like what I see.”

She cleared her throat self-consciously. “And school?”

“School’s school,” he said with a shrug. “One’s like any other to me.”

“Was it hard to move right here in the middle of high school? Wasn’t it hard to leave your friends?”

“Let’s say I was highly motivated.” He glanced away. “So, how do you know my sister?”

“I’ve had some health problems, and she’s been my therapist.” She hoped he wouldn’t probe for details. She hoped he didn’t
care
about her health problems.

“Is Christy any good?”

“The best. Your sister’s totally terrific, but you must know that, or you wouldn’t have moved in with her.”

“Actually, Christy’s a little too serious for me these days. We weren’t all that close because of the eight years between us, but when she lived at home, we did have some good times together. I remember she used to take first aid courses, and she’d use me to practice on. She’d pretend I was an accident victim and bandage me from head to toe.” He smiled as he remembered. “It was fun for a kid my age. She’s really a frustrated doctor, you know. Too bad she could never go to medical school.”

“You’re staying then?” Kara asked.

“I plan to stick around and see how it goes between us.” Eric eyed Kara and added, “If it gets too boring, you can help make my life more interesting.”

His sexy gaze made Kara squirm self-consciously. “Central’s one of the biggest schools in the city, so there’s something for everyone. You’ll like it here.”

“Okay,” he said with a shrug. “Because you said so, I’ll give it a try.” He plucked a flower from one of the planters. “How do you get home from school?”

“Usually, I take the bus.”

“Why don’t I give you a ride today?”

No boy had ever given her a ride home before. “You have a horse, or a car?” Kara kidded, because
she didn’t want him to guess she had so little experience with boys.

He laughed. “A fifty-seven Chevy. I drove it up from Houston, packed to the top with all my worldly goods.”

She heard a sense of pride in his voice and determination, too. She felt a twinge of envy. She couldn’t imagine having the freedom to climb into a car and drive alone through three states. She hated her CF and the prisoner it made of her. “I
would
like a ride home,” she told him. “I could meet you here at three.”

“Suits me.” Eric stood just as the bell rang. “According to my class schedule, I have English last period.”

“I have art,” Kara said.

“Until three o’clock.” He handed her the flower and walked away. Kara watched him, happier than she’d felt in weeks. Maybe it was going to be a good year after all. Maybe, for once, things might go her way—
if
she could stay healthy. She trotted off to retrieve her books and hurry to class.