A Time to Live (7 page)

Nikki chuckled.
“Go directly to jail, do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars.”

Michael laughed.
“Exactly. He served about a year and is now out on probation. He still owns the hunting lodge, that’s legit, but the slaying of endangered species has stopped.”

“Good for you,” she said softly.

He crouched and returned to his work. “But I must admit, I too hunted on Stafford land.”

“I don’t approve of hunting,” she said sternly.
“Not on my land.”

“Even for survival?”

Nikki looked at him a moment, sensing her answer was very important to him for some reason. She shook her head. “Survival is different, Michael. I should have said I don’t approve of sport hunting.”

His shoulders relaxed.
“My hunting is definitely not sport. I live off of what I kill and I don’t even use a rifle.”

“Bow hunter?”

He nodded. “Falconry also.”

Her eyebrows flew up her forehead.
“If you wish, you can still hunt on my land, Michael. Predator and prey has its purpose in nature. Since man has nearly obliterated the wolf from the wild, the balance has been tipped. Unfortunately, man usually takes the best of the herd instead of culling it like the wolf.”

Michael stopped his hammer in mid-swing and stared at her in open astonishment.
“What do you know of the wolf?” he asked suspiciously.

She grinned and tried to stretch her sore back muscles.
“Let’s go inside and I’ll show you. Besides, our lunch should be done.”

He nodded and followed her down the ladder.

Nikki opened the large closet and pulled out her framed posters. Michael picked one up and stared at it. A huge gray wolf prowled through the snow.

“Where did you get this?” he asked reverently.

“I’m the one who took the picture.”

Michael blinked.
“You what?”

Nikki grinned and hauled out a huge trunk.
Inside were matted and framed pictures along with magazines. “Before I moved here I was a photo-journalist. I worked with organizations who reintroduced the wolf into the wild. My pictures helped document the work of scientists for grants and public information.”

She dug through the trunk and found one of her many issues of National Geographic.
“Quite a few of my photos wound up here.”

Michael took the magazine and leafed through it, glancing at the articles but staring
longer at the pictures.

“Do...do you mind if I look at these?”

“Not at all. I’ll get our food ready.”

Nikki moved toward the kitchen
, but paused and glanced back at Michael. He sat cross-legged before the trunk, sorting through the pictures with care. She smiled. Apart from the bittersweet memories of a better time, she took great pride in her photos. Even though her life would end too soon, she had left a legacy that would make a difference - at least to the scientists and those who loved the wolf. But as Nikki watched Michael, she realized something else. He was not only beautiful, but wild and noble, just like the wolf she admired. His amber eyes were not the only trait he shared with the mysterious creature.

Inwardly
, Nikki cursed herself. What was she doing? She knew better than to allow herself to think like that. “No attachments,” she muttered and walked to the kitchen.

****

Michael stared at the photos in absolute awe. They were beautiful. Nikki had a wonderful talent. He scanned through the articles in the numerous magazines, stopping on one written about her instead of the wolves she photographed. The article’s title proclaimed CEO MOONLIGHTS AS PROFESSIONAL WILDLIFE PHOTOGRAPHER. The article also said she was an avid researcher of wolves, she knew as much as many scientists.

There was a photo of her at a campsite.
Her hair was long enough for her to sit on then. He studied it for a moment. Her cheeks were bright with color and her smile warm. She was heavier in the picture, not overweight, but much stronger. The date on the magazine was four years ago. What had caused such a change from then to now?

Michael pushed his questions aside, continuing to read.
I love to learn about the wolf,
the magazine quoted Nikki.
Yet, I believe they will be forever a mystery and I’m glad. A world without mystery is a world without magic.

That statement impacted Michael like a kick in the gut.
In a sense, it summed up his entire existence in a way he could never hope to explain. A strange longing rose within him. Since the trial, he had been alone. Half French and half Arapaho and neither people understood him, especially those who lived on Shadow Mountain. They feared him, they hated him. But Michael suddenly knew if anyone could understand him it would be Nikki - a girl who wanted to keep the magic alive.

He forced the feeling down.
Michael had pushed people away for so long he did not know how to change - or if he even dared to risk it. Nikki might turn on him like Laura. Or worse, the murderer was still out there. If Michael grew serious about Nikki, it might put her on his hit list. Michael would never be able to live with himself if she was hurt because of him. He put the magazine back and dug through the pictures again, trying to dismiss his thoughts.

“Lunch is ready.”

Michael jerked his head up and saw Nikki standing beside him. She handed him a glass of ice tea and led him to the table.

He enjoyed his lunch and noted wryly that Nikki had set out plenty of food.
More than she’d ever eat in a lifetime, he’d wager. They ate in silence and his thoughts turned back to the pictures.

“Nikki, is that why you moved out here; to continue your photography?”

Her expression twisted into a grimace as if his words had caused her pain. He stiffened in his chair.

“No,” she said softly.
“I have my camera and equipment but....” She shrugged and tried to make light of her sudden change of mood. “I don’t even have a darkroom.”

He frowned.
“From the amount of pictures and articles, I’d say you were quite active. Why did you quit?”

Abruptly
, Nikki stood and began to clear the dishes. Michael knew instantly this was not a topic for conversation, but was too curious for his own good. He moved to the sink, helping her rinse the dishes, waiting for her to speak. He noticed her hands shaking.

“I...it was just becoming too much for me,” Nikki said softly.
“Months camping in the middle of nowhere in the worst weather, constant danger not so much from the wolves, but other predators. I’ve had more run-ins with bears than I’d care to count. It’s a hard life and it started taking its toll.”

Michael weighed his next question carefully.
“Was that the cause of your illness?”

“No!”
She jerked away in a completely reflexive action. So, she did have an illness. His instincts, which he could normally count on completely, were wrong. He has seen her coughing seizure last night and then this morning she had used her inhaler repeatedly. Michael could not deny the evidence before him.

She stood with her back to him, her head bowed, and her pretty hair falling into her face.
With a finger he tugged the soft locks away. He could not remember ever touching anything so silky. Nor could he remember ever reaching out to a woman. She squeezed her eyes shut, her body shaking.

“Nikki, it’s all right,” he whispered.

She staggered back and almost fell. Michael wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her to him. He was startled by how well she fit in his embrace, her body conformed perfectly to his. She folded against him trembling. He sensed she needed his strength and surprised himself with wanting to share it with her.

But too quickly Nikki regained herself and pushed away.
Michael looked down and saw fear in her eyes. Fury shot through him and his jaw tightened. So she believed enough of the lies not to trust him. He should have known better. Why would a beautiful woman show any interest in a vicious half-breed?

He spun on his heel and walked out the door, returning to the roof to finish his work.
Even though Michael wanted to leave now, he had told Nikki he would help her. The faster he finished, the faster he could go home and forget about her.

Three days passed and Nikki worked with Michael, but could barely stand the tension between them. It was as if they tried to frantically build walls around themselves rather than fix the roof. They hardly spoke to each other except when necessary and Nikki discovered she hated it. Her chest ached constantly now. Even though she told herself the distance between them was for the best, she never could truly convince her heart.

Nikki glanced up at Michael, intent on his work, but she saw his jaw clamped so tightly she thought he would break his teeth.
Tension thrummed through him, charging the air. Life was too short to put up with this crap, Nikki knew that first hand. Abruptly, she tossed down her hammer and rubbed her eyes.

Michael stopped his work.
“Nikki?” His voice sounded hard, but when she looked up she saw concern in his amber eyes.

“This time I owe you the apology,” she said.

His eyes widened slightly and she almost giggled. She had caught him by surprise.

“I’m sorry I was so curt with you, Michael.
All you have done is try to help me and I rewarded you by being cold. You don’t deserve that.”

His mouth opened
, but he didn’t say anything. He blinked at her, astounded.

She grinned at him.
“Cat got your tongue?”

Michael smiled sheepishly and nodded.

Nikki laughed softly, grateful the tension between them immediately eased.

Michael took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair.
“I’m sorry I pushed you, Nikki.”

She nodded.
“I guess we’ve all got skeletons in our closets. I just don’t like talking about mine.”

His expression tightened again
, but he didn’t seem to be upset with her. His lips turned down in a self-mocking grimace she disliked intensely.

“I know how you feel.”

Nikki nodded again, but did not ask her questions. That was the whole point of the conversation, wasn’t it? “Looks like we’re running out of nails,” she said, lamely trying to change the subject.

Michael simply looked at her with a gaze that nearly unnerved her.

“Well,” she said and stood. “I guess I can go to town and get some more. Do you need anything?”

He shook his head.

“If you get thirsty or hungry, help yourself. I’ll be right back.” Nikki vaulted down the ladder and fetched her keys. But she felt Michael’s gaze on her back as she got in the Bronco.

The drive into town steadied Nikki’s nerves.
At Marlowe’s hardware store, she found the nails, but paused long enough to browse through the gardening section. There wasn’t much since winter approached but the seeds gave her some ideas for springtime.

But I won’t be around in spring.

Sheer frustration rose within Nikki. It wasn’t fair! There were so many things she wanted to do. She wasn’t done living yet.

“Hi, Nikki,” a cheerful voice said.

She turned and saw Josh Starwell. “Hi, Josh. How are you doing?”

“Just fine.”
He spied the bag of roofing nails she carried. “Let me guess, you bought the Stafford place.”

Nikki laughed.
“Gee, what gave it away?”

“Oh, I don’t know, call it intuition.”
But he gazed at the nails and scowled. “Roofing? Are you putting on a new roof this late in the season?”

“Yes, Michael is insisting we do it now.”

His eyebrows flew up his forehead. “Michael?”

Nikki swallowed hard.
“Yeah, I didn’t realize we were neighbors, but he’s been a big help.”

Josh gazed at her a moment then gave her a mischievous smile.
“That dog did it to me again.”

“Did what?”

He laughed. “Just like back in college.” Josh chuckled again and waved his hand. “But it’s a long, boring story, perhaps I can tell it to you over dinner.”

Nikki’s thoughts scrambled.
Josh was a good looking man, but did not have Michael’s rugged attractiveness. She mentally kicked herself. What was she doing?
No attachments.
Not with Michael, not with Josh. But she didn’t want to hurt Josh’s feelings either. “Unfortunately, I can’t right now. If I don’t get that roof done, I’m going to have a mess.”

“I understand.
I’m leaving for Denver to pitch a research proposal to the committee, but I’ll be back in a week or so. Maybe we could get together then?”

“Research proposal?
That sounds like a lot of work.”

“Not really,
it’s all about shmoozing the people who hold the purse strings. Sometimes they get sticky about funding projects they don’t truly understand.”