Even Scott admitted he knew she wasn’t really into it, only doing it for him.
“She’s got an asshole family, too,” Scott said. “That’s another reason why I didn’t want to just leave her. They’re going to really hammer her about it.”
“Aren’t they in Indiana? I thought that’s what you said.”
“Yeah, but they’re fucking assholes. There’s a reason why she lives down here and not anywhere near them. Even after all these years, she still hopes for their approval. She’ll never get it, though. They’re assholes. She was never good enough in their eyes.”
“I can relate to that,” Keith said, feeling even more empathy for the woman. “Mine’s all out in Oklahoma.”
“They don’t approve of you being gay, I take it?”
Keith shrugged. “They don’t even know where I live now. I couldn’t give a shit what they think about me. When I came out after college, my parents disowned me, so I said fine and moved to Florida. What about your family?”
Scott shrugged. “My mom and dad live in Michigan. They moved up there a few years back to take care of my mom’s parents. They don’t know about any of this, but at least they’re not assholes. They might not be happy when everything finally shakes loose, but at least I know they won’t disown me. Well, I
hope
they won’t disown me.”
“Sometimes friends are better than family,” Keith said.
“You’ve got that right.”
* * * *
Scott knew it wasn’t the wisest move on the planet, but the longer he was with Keith, the more he talked to him, the more he relaxed and the more he realized how attracted he was to the Dom.
At one point he excused himself to go to the bathroom, where he texted Noel.
How are you?
She texted back a moment later.
We’re about to duct tape Kennedy’s mouth shut. How are you? Having fun?
He didn’t know how to answer that. He didn’t want to lie to her. He also didn’t want to hurt her feelings or make her think that he was jumping into bed with the first guy he’d talked to.
Okay, technically the second guy he’d talked to if you counted Tad the twink. And she’d warned him she didn’t want him to lie to her, but unless she asked for details, she didn’t want him giving her every gory description of what happened.
Went out to dinner. The place is really loud.
Well, have fun. Love you. Talk to you tomorrow.
He stared at his phone.
Love you, too. Thank you for this.
He was reaching for the bathroom door when she replied.
Just stay safe.
I will. I promise.
* * * *
Noel shoved her phone back into her pocket and sucked the rest of her beer down.
Eliza tapped her on the shoulder. “You okay?”
“Yeah.”
“What?”
She shrugged. “He’s having dinner.” He didn’t say he was having dinner with someone, but she hadn’t wanted to ask that, either, not sure how she’d react.
He’d promised if she couldn’t handle it, she could text him and he’d immediately come home. He was only forty-five minutes away in St. Pete, for chrissake.
But she didn’t want to be like that. Truth be told, it wouldn’t be her first night alone, and it would be a relief not to have to pretend to be living up to expectations.
Not to have to pretend she was something she wasn’t.
What she wasn’t was comfortable with the dominant role she’d stepped into for his sake, trying to help him through…this.
Knowing damn well she was only prolonging the inevitable by not asking him for a divorce. Having mixed feelings about the fact that he was willing to stay married to her for now for her sake.
Praying for a miracle, even though she didn’t really believe in miracles, much less in any deity who could grant them.
* * * *
While Scott was in the bathroom, Keith decided he needed to put all his cards on the table at once. Either Scott would remain interested, or they’d part ways upon their return to the hotel and each still have a weekend ahead of them in which to cut loose with whomever they wanted.
What bothered Keith was how much he already wanted to spend it with Scott.
Bothered because Scott wasn’t an entanglement-free prospect. There weren’t simply strings attached to the man, there were anchor chains.
When Scott returned, he slid into the other side of the booth after flashing Keith a nervous smile. “Sorry. Noel texted me while I was in there.”
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah. She’s out with some of her friends tonight.”
“So that brings me to the crux of our conversation,” Keith said, fixing Scott with his gaze. “I don’t want to dance around the issue. I’m not looking for a quick fuck, or to be someone’s on-the-side. I’m looking for a relationship. A long-term, hopefully permanent one.”
Scott nodded, but didn’t interrupt even though those gorgeous blue eyes of his widened a little.
“I’m okay with you being poly with your wife for a while, at first. But there’s going to come a time where I’ll need you to bring that to a final resolution, if we end up taking our relationship to the next level.”
“I know,” Scott quietly said. “She knows that, too. I promised her I wouldn’t divorce her over anyone I couldn’t love at least as much as her, if not more than her. I want to stick to that promise.”
Keith leaned forward. “I respect that. I also understand that. I know this could be something that falls apart in two weeks. Or, in two months from now, you and I might be sitting down and planning a future together. I’m not saying you have to go home and divorce her now, but I’m telling you what’s going through my head so there are no unrealistic expectations, okay?”
Scott nodded.
“Like I said, I’m a Dominant. I need my partner to be strong, but to be submissive to me. Doesn’t mean I want you to be my doormat, but it means my rules, my way. I don’t screw around on my partner, and I expect my partner to be faithful, too.”
“What about Noel?” he quietly asked.
Keith took a deep breath and wondered if he wasn’t wasting his time. The man might not be able to let go of his wife if or when it got to that point. “Like I said, I can agree to you being poly with her, for now, but not with anyone else. And when or if the time comes, I expect there to be a clean break made. I don’t want you to be an asshole to her, but I also don’t want to be dangling on the hook for years waiting for you to quit feeling sorry for her and divorce her, either. Got it?”
Scott nodded. “Yes, Sir.”
Shit.
Keith’s cock had settled down, mostly, but at the way Scott said that, as if it naturally fell from his lips, it sprang to life again, painfully hard and throbbing and wanting to be shoved between those gorgeous lips right that second.
Breathe.
This was twenty kinds of wrong and complicated, but Keith was sliding into it head-first down a greased chute with no hopes of stopping himself.
All he could hope for at this point was a soft landing, and not a pit of sharpened spikes, awaiting him at the unseen bottom.
“If I ever catch you in a lie,” Keith said, “it’s game over. Period. I won’t lie to you, and I expect you to never lie to me, even if it’s a painful truth. Understand?”
“Yes, Sir.”
Wow.
It was almost enough to make him want to tell Scott to stop calling him that for now because of what it was doing to him.
“I’m clean,” Keith continued. “There’s a place back at the resort where we can do quick HIV tests,” he said. “Just as a precaution. We’ll both use condoms until we each get a new full STD panel done. Agreed?”
“Yes, Sir.”
Keith took a deep breath. “But once that’s done, we’re fluid-bonded. You are going to be responsible for making sure your wife is monogamous with you, or you need to be using condoms with her. Understood?”
“Yes, Sir. She is.”
He hoped Scott wasn’t lying or delusional. Keith wouldn’t blame the woman for going out and getting her own piece on the side, but he wouldn’t stake his life on it, either. He’d been ultracareful over the years, even to the point of pissing some guys off. But the result was he was still neg and healthy and had never contracted anything from his partners over the years more serious than a couple of colds and a case of the flu.
He continued, part of him hoping Scott would stop him at some point. The more Scott agreed to, the fewer objections Keith had to catch-and-release this fresh fish back into the pond.
“I won’t and can’t force someone to stay with me,” Keith said, “but if you want to leave, you have to say so. You’d have to agree to be my slave, including wearing my collar.”
“I can’t wear a collar at work.”
“It’d be a day collar no one would suspect. Also, I’ll be getting your nipples pierced.”
Dammit
. He was catching himself talking as if it were already a sure thing.
Scott nodded. “Yes, Sir.”
“I’ll warn you now, I’m a sadist. I know you’ll have to get used to what I like, so it’s not like I’ll be shoving the pedal to the floor tonight. You can also call red at first, and I’ll slow down, but there are things I’ll be training you to learn to take for me. If you can’t handle something, I expect you to speak up and say so. Understand?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“This won’t be anything like what you were doing with your wife,” he said. “That will be the kiddie pool compared to the deep end you’re jumping into. I don’t share, but there are going to be situations I take you into where you’re going to be used by me in front of others. And used hard. So if that’s something you can’t deal with, you’d better say so now.”
Scott didn’t flinch. “Yes, Sir.”
“So answer me this. What is it you’re looking to get out of this relationship?”
Scott didn’t even hesitate. “The real me, Sir. The ability to stop pretending I’m someone I’m not. The chance to finally live authentically without worrying if my partner will freak out about who I really am. I know I’m not perfect, and I might have problems along the way, but I’m tired of trying to force myself to live a lie. Life is too short to keep doing what I’m doing. And it’s not fair to her or to me. Especially to her.”
Damn.
He’d expected a lot of specific do-me fantasies that he would have easily shot out of the air. This was usually the point in this particular conversation with prospective partners where the truth emerged, that they were full of unrealistic, sexually charged fantasies that made for great sex, but not so much a great life together.
Scott was making it increasingly hard for Keith to find reasons not to spend more time together.
Wasn’t the only thing Scott was making hard, either.
Keith reached down and adjusted himself. He lowered his voice even more. “What are your hard limits?”
Again, another pleasant surprise. No claims that he had no limits, or a generic “whatever you want” response.
“Nothing visible that will interfere with my job,” Scott started. “I can’t lose my job over this. I prefer no permanent scars, but I know accidents happen. I’m okay with piercing, to a certain extent. If you aren’t okay with me saying no to a particular piercing, then I’m not going to be your guy. I’ll agree to nipples, because that’s something I’ve thought about before. But no permanent body modification.”
“What about a tattoo, if we end up being long-term?”
Scott seemed to consider it. “Depends on where and what it is, and if it’s something I can get covered up later if we were to break up in the future.”
All answers Keith could respect and honor.
Scott continued.
“No animals or kids, obviously. I’m not into scat or watersports. If those are important to you, I’m not your guy. You already said no sharing, other than Noel, and to me that goes both ways. While I can agree to being a slave, I need to know that I can express my opinion and viewpoints, even if you might overrule me on some things.”
Keith nodded. “Agreed.”
Scott glanced down at the table for a moment, apparently deep in thought. “My job has to come first, and it means unusual hours. Sometimes working holidays and nights. Or I might get called in to work an emergency shift. That’s something beyond my control. Also, I agree if what we do ends up becoming long-term and permanent that I will have to divorce Noel. But divorcing her needs to be on my terms, and my timetable. She’s my wife, and you cannot override her, for now. Not until we know if this will last. I promise, from the time if or when we mutually agree on a long-term relationship, it won’t be more than one year before we file for divorce. But I won’t just immediately go out and file next week or anything. We’ve had ten years together, and I owe her that respect to do this the right way.”
Keith nodded. “Also agreed.” He was beginning to respect this man a lot, if Scott wasn’t full of bullshit.
And for all he knew, maybe Scott was. The more he got to know him, maybe he’d find out some ugly truths about the man.
Then again, from the way he was talking, Keith suspected that wouldn’t be the case.
“Noel and I have had a lot of talks, especially over the past few months,” Scott continued. “When we started the BDSM stuff a couple of years ago, we did all the checklists and everything. That’s how I know my limits. And I’ve never been with a guy, even though she’s done anal play with me. You’re going to have to be patient with me so you don’t do damage to me while you’re breaking me in, so to speak.” With that, Scott offered up a cautious smile.
Keith reached across the table and laid a hand over Scott’s. “I don’t like to break my toys,” Keith said. “I take very good care of them.”
Scott turned his hand over so they were palm to palm, and laced his fingers through Keith’s. Keith gently squeezed.
“I’m going to admit I’m scared to death right now,” Scott said. “This is a huge step for me. A lot of change.”
“Good,” Keith said. “I’d be worried if you weren’t at least a little nervous.”
“Are
you
nervous?”
Keith looked him in the eye. “Terrified.”