A Walk In The Wilderness (43 page)

      “Oh, dear.  So soon?  What‘s happened, darling?”

     “Well, my husband has come for me unexpectedly, you see, and I must go home with him.”

     “Oh?  Is he here, then?  Bring him out here, and let me have a look at the young batch of trouble, luv.”

       David followed Caitlin outside, almost shyly.  He had no idea how much this woman knew, or what she thought.  He was almost certain she’d have to think him a heel.

      The widow Thomas was graying at the temples, and had steely blue eyes.  She was a large woman, and yet she had a grace about her that was unusual.  When she turned her keen eyes on David, he felt it to the bone, though her gaze was merely curious, and the set of her lips was kind.

     Her eyes probed him thoughtfully, and finally she waved him to a chair opposite her.  It was an old, metal, shell-shaped garden chair.  It revealed it had  once been red, and later pink.  Now, it was more white and rust, than anything.

        Mrs. Thomas turned her attention to Caitlin.   “Darling, why don’t you go get your things together?  I’ll keep your man company until you’re ready to go.”

      “All right.” She agreed, and made her escape before David could object.  It hadn’t taken Caitlin long to realize that the widow Thomas had a way about her.  Apparently, she had something to say to David.   Whatever it was, Cait knew that not only did he need to hear it, she knew that it would be well spoken.

        “Well then, David.  May I call you David?” she asked congenially.

        David shrugged.  “Certainly.” He said lightly. 

     “I’ve been doing some praying about you.” She said evenly.  “And, some praying
for
you.”

        David lowered his eyes.  “Thank you.” He said humbly.

      “She had your picture set up, where she could always see it.  She must have looked at it a thousand times a day.”

     David’s heart smote him deeply.  Somehow, he found it hard to look up into her eyes.     

     “At first, I couldn’t remember where I’d seen your face, before.  Finally, it came to me that you were that boy I used to love to listen to, those fine piano records.  But, all grown up now.   You married a lovely young woman, David. You’re a blessed man.” 

     David could only nod his agreement.

    “I knew when she came here, that she wouldn’t be staying.  We became quite close very quickly, though.  She told me she’d lost her first baby, falling down some stairs.  I think she needed to tell someone about it. To talk about it; and the pain she went through.” 

     “She wanted that baby, so very badly.  She told me that when she knew she’d lost her baby, she wasn’t able to deal with it.  She said she wished she’d died, too.  She felt a fool and a failure.  She felt she‘d let you down, in such a vital way.  She told me you were away when it happened, and said she never really had the chance to talk to you about the baby.”

       David dropped his head in his hands.

      “Some things are hard to say -- for that little girl, more than most.  She felt a terrible sense of loss when that baby was gone.  A terrible grief, and anguish.  She never properly got over her parents being taken from her, so untimely and both at once.  She went for so long having no family to speak of.  Her uncle was never able to fill the gap.  Then, the baby and your mother and you, all at once.”

      “She told me that if she ever saw you again, she’d tell you that she dreamed about the baby, that she’d seen what he looked like.  A little boy, blonde with red in his hair, and your blue eyes.  He smiled and held his arms up to her, and she’d been reaching toward him when she woke up, and realized he was truly gone, after all.  She told me she wishes she could capture his looks on canvas for you to see.  She said that she was told in the dream, that his name was to be David Wayne.”

     David couldn’t hold the tears in, anymore.  They spilled over the hand that shaded his eyes from her sight.

      “She couldn’t get over feeling responsible for the fall, for not preventing the loss of his precious, little life.  She’s still mourning him, and she’ll likely do so for some time to come.  There is also some heavy post-partum depression.  It can be very strong, when the child dies.”

     David wept on.  He was beginning to have some comprehension of what Caitlin had been going through.   He'd been so selfish!

      “I just felt you should know.  Be good to her, David.  Help her through this.  Try to give her another baby to love.”

        David was openly weeping now.   He no longer cared who saw.

     Mrs. Thomas put her arms around him, moved in close, so that his head was against her shoulder, and she patted him gently.  “You’re a good man, David.  Now, you’ve got to see your way through this, and take Caitlin with you.  She’s alone in this world, but for you.  It was more a blow to her to lose this child, than you can ever imagine.   She was alone so long, before you.  She lost you – yes, she did.  You know you cut her off, David.  But it’s all right.  You have this one chance to mend things.  And when she lost her baby, she was going through as much as you were, if not more.  So please, see clearly now, and treat this relationship with tender loving care.  She’s the one, David.  If you can’t mend things with her, you’ll never find another.  Not one to satisfy you, anyway.”

       David ran his hands through his hair, and sighed deeply.  The words rang true.

      “It will be all right now, dear.  Take the girl on home, and take it slow and easy.  She loves you, with all her heart.”

        “Has … has she told you anything?  Does she … ever talk about me?  Us?” he asked hesitantly.

       Mrs. Thomas smiled.  “She said her husband had been unfaithful to her.” She answered lightly.  “I told her I didn’t think so.  But she never was sure.  Not until today.  I’m glad you set the record straight then, dear.”

         David shook his head.  “Dear God.” He sighed.

        Grace waited breathlessly when she heard the car pull up outside, and the front door opened.  Her eyes slid shut and she said a silent prayer of thanks when she heard two sets of feet on the stairs, two hushed voices.  David opened her bedroom door with a meaningful look at Grace, and ushered Caitlin into Grace’s room.  Then, he left them alone for a private reunion. 

       “My darling, Caitlin.  Thank God, you’ve come home!”  Grace greeted her with open arms. 

      “Oh, Grace.  I simply can’t believe it!  I thought we’d lost you.”  Caitlin admitted tearfully.

        “No, darling.  Not just yet.  I’ll be around for a bit, it seems.  David has had his way in the matter.  Now.  Tell me, are you all right?”

         Caitlin smiled tremulously.  “Yes, I’ll be fine.  Now.”

         “You can tell me if I’m prying; but may I ask what went wrong?”

        Caitlin laughed.  “You’re so kind, and tactful, Grace.  It was just a series of misunderstandings.  David was hurt about the baby.  First I kept
that
from him, and then I kept your illness from him.  He was having a hard time coping.  It wasn’t that long before, that David was fighting for his life, following such a severe injury.  And before that, all the trouble Skyler, and his worry about me through it.  When it all came crashing in on him, it took him a long time to come to grips with it all.  And it tried him to his toes, apparently.” 

       “And as for me, I was devastated by his distance.  Then I was given lies to believe.  I was just foolish enough to believe them.  When David discharged your nurse and I saw her go, I thought … I thought I’d lost you, too.  I couldn’t take any more just then, so I lit out.  I’m so blessed that David followed me, and made me see sense.”

      “Yes, indeed.  We
all
are, darling.  We are family, Caitlin.  When you take someone as kin, you can't; very well escape it; it's a covenant that runs deep.”

      She smiled.  “Well, then. You get yourself some rest and refreshment, and then, I want you to concentrate on mending your relationship with my son.  He needs you, more than you can ever truly know.  And, Caitlin;  he does love you, very much.  He'll be a good husband to you, if you can be patient with him.”

     Caitlin smiled.  “I will, Grace.  You needn’t worry.  We’ll be fine now, I believe.”

     Caitlin went downstairs a short time later, to overhear David talking to Cookie.  “Make something nice for dinner, Cookie.  Something special for the lady.”

    Tears vaulted to her eyes.  He was taking such care for her, suddenly.  She found her way to the garden and found David sitting there, staring blankly at the sky.

     “David?” she asked hesitantly.  When he saw her, he smiled and held a hand to her.  She sat beside him on the swing, and let him take her hand. 

     “I guess we have a lot to talk about, don’t we?” he asked quietly.

     “Perhaps not so much.”  She argued softly.

     He looked at her searchingly, and smiled wanly.  They held hands and just sat, for a long time.

     Dinner was very elegant and intimate.  French onion soup, London broil, with mashed potatoes and gravy, asparagus and fruit sorbet to top it all.  They again said little, but David’s attention was evident, and lay over her like a sweet blanket of comfort and hope.

      She turned in early, feeling utterly spent and overwrought, if happy.  She put on a feminine, lace gown that she hadn’t even thought of for awhile, and lay in bed, thinking over all that had happened.  It was overwhelming to consider, but she did go over it, bit by bit.

      After midnight, the door opened and David came in, from his room.  He bent  down until his eyes were even with hers.  “How are you?” he asked gently.

      “I’m all right.” 

     “Can I … sleep here tonight?”  he asked softly.  “I don’t … don’t sleep very well when I’m not … with you.” He admitted shakily.

      “Yes, of course.”  She answered immediately.

     He took off his clothes.  Then the warmth of his hard body, his soft skin, was enfolding her as his arms drew her in.  Caitlin felt she might start sobbing at the sweetness of it.  She needed him, so much.

     He held her and sighed, stroking her hair.  She felt his tears on her cheek.  Then, he went to sleep.  Caitlin shook her head in amazement, thinking of all the many, long nights that he’d not come to seek comfort with her.

     It was taking some time for them to unravel all the misunderstandings and pain, but David was content to take that time.  Caitlin was amazed that he was so patient.  He seemed to need the time too, though. 

      She began to understand that she was married to a very sensitive and tender man.  She began slowly to understand how hurt and frightened he had been, and to berate herself for judging him so harshly. 

     In the end, she was ready to put it all behind her and have her lover back, before he seemed to be.  She began to feel frustration building inside her, and wondered about David.

     One night she decided to take the bull by the horns.  She went into his room, after hearing him retire, quite late.  He turned and looked up at her in the moonlight, concerned.  “What is it, Cait?” he whispered worriedly.  “I didn’t want to wake you.  Are you all right?”

     Wordlessly, she walked to the side of his bed, and dropped her robe there.  She climbed in, and moved into his arms.  She kissed him with a desperation that was only fueled by the taste of his lips and the feel of his body next to hers.

      She heard him chuckle, and squeezed him, hard.  “Don’t you dare laugh at me.”  She hissed.

     “I’m not laughing at you, darling.”  He assured her.  “I’m just … happy to find you missing me.”

     “Missing you?” she snapped.  “
Missing you
?  Is
that
what I’m doing?”  She rolled up on top of him, and sat on him, glaring down at him wildly.

      He grinned up at her, and laughed.  “Yes.  The way that I’ve been missing
you
”. he confided.  “I thought you’d never come looking for me again.”

       “I wish I'd known that you were
waiting
.” she said, crossly.

       “I didn't want to push you away; or have you feel that you must.  You know,” he explained.  “I was trying to be considerate, Caitlyn.  Until I was sure you were ready...” 

     “I'll never leave your side, again.”  she promised.  She leaned over, and kissed him. 

*****************************************************************************

Love is beautiful and precious, however and wherever we find it.  It is seldom smooth or easy, but is well worth the effort required.  It does, however, take two committed to one another, to prosper.  

I've come to believe that love is eternal;  once given, it is in the heart, to stay.  You may not stay in contact with one you love; but the substance of love itself cannot be undone.  Once birthed, it remains -- regardless out the outcome of a relationship. 

Blessings, Nancy

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My heartfelt Thanks – 
Nancy