A Way to Get By (18 page)

CHAPTER 36

You Can Never Go Back

EDDIE

Sunday, June 3

1984

M
axine and I were enjoying a leisurely lunch in the solarium. It was a beautiful spring day, so we had all the windows open to enjoy the warm air that breezed in from three directions as her sheer white curtains danced to the music on the radio.

   “So,” she started in. “You didn’t tell me what you thought of the place in Paramus.”

   The day before, I’d met with yet another real estate agent to check out yet another potential location for my proposed restaurant. “I don’t know. I’m not big on all that traffic. Route 4 is a parking lot most days.”

   “Well, that was the idea, silly. It’s a conspicuous spot. That’s what high-traffic-area means.” She giggled as she flapped her napkin in my direction before going back to her fruit salad.

   “I’m well-acquainted with what it means, smartass. I don’t know. I just didn’t get the right vibe.”

   “The right
vibe?
” she asked, incredulously. “You can take the boy out of the sixties but… wow…” She trailed off, aiming a sly grin in my direction.

   “Hey. I was
never
a hippie.”

   “The pictures of you as a teenager would say otherwise.”

   “Overgrown hair. That was it. I rarely wore the requisite
duds
.”

   The use of yet another sixties slang word sent her into a fit of giggles until she finally pulled herself together and grabbed a ‘Slims from its case. I automatically lit it for her, then she sat back in her chair, arms crossed, aiming her cigarette to point at me. “I’ve been thinking about something that I wanted to discuss with you.”

   I was still settling down from our laughter as I responded, “Shoot.”

   “Well…” she flicked her cig against the ashtray to continue, “Maybe we should move away.”

   Her words caught me off guard. “Move away? Where? Why?”

   “Ed, look. You’ve been unemployed and hanging around this house, miserable almost every minute about it for the past two years. We’ve looked at every available piece of property in the northern New Jersey area and none of them have met your standards. Don’t think it’s because I don’t know you’re trying to avoid competition with your friend.”

   She was half right. Of course I didn’t want to compete against my best friend, an inevitability if I opened an eatery based on his same menu. Hell, I’d even be stealing Tony’s business model. His restaurant was the only one I’d ever worked in. The only way I knew how to run a business was from what I’d learned at
Mama’s
.

   I was debating the best way to explain that to her when she snuffed out her cigarette and dropped the bomb. “How do you feel about Los Angeles?”

   Her location choice wasn’t entirely out of the blue. We’d discussed our shared love of the west coast. Not that I’d ever been there in person, mind you, but I wasn’t necessarily opposed to checking it out for myself.

   “I think it would be a great business move to bring some authentic Italian out there,” she went on. “Southern California has the market cornered on Mexican but not Italian. You could be the one to change that. What do you think?”

   It was a valid point. Rather than confirm her idea, however, I aimed a wicked grin at her instead. “I think you’d give all those Hollywood startlets a run for their money.”

   She smiled shyly at that, wanting to believe me. I took her hand and pulled her onto my lap, nuzzling my face into her neck. She really was a beautiful woman. A beautiful, bright, understanding woman.

   “You’ve been so patient with me, Maxine. I hope you know how much I appreciate it.”

   She tipped her head to the side, almost sympathetic as she swiped a hand over my stubbly jaw and said, “You’re my husband. For better or worse, right?”

   It had been a rocky road leading up to this point. A lot of fighting but a lot of fun, too. I was just grateful that she let me stick around long enough to finally make her happy. All it required was a little extra effort on my part. I’d been on my best behavior these past months and she seemed content to blindly think of me as The Perfect Husband. Hell, if she knew what kind of guy I really was, she would have dumped my ass long ago. I was one lucky bastard.

   I kissed her, allowing my palm to skim over her breast, my free hand grasping at her waist, pulling the side of her body tighter against my chest. The movement caused some friction against my lap, and the little vixen furthered my torture as she pressed her backside intentionally against my thighs.

   My mouth broke from her lips so that I could speak the next words softly against her ear.
“Mostly better, though, right?”

   She closed her eyes and moaned, “Oh, yes.
Much
better.”

   I had to stop myself from smiling and breaking the moment. But damn, Maxine always made me feel like I was the hottest guy on the planet.

   What can I say?
The kid’s still got it.

CHAPTER 37

Temptation

BRENDA
Saturday, January 19

1980

I
didn’t normally wait tables anymore, but that night, we were short a few servers and I was forced to don my waitressing uniform once again. Just my luck. The room was filled to capacity with die-hard drinkers, too. It seemed every time I visited a table, the glasses were empty.

   I was frazzled and racing around like a headless chicken. My hair had escaped from its once sleek ponytail early in the night, so I gave up fighting it hours ago. My makeup felt like it was melting off my face from the steam trays, probably dripping from my eyes like Tammy Faye Bakker.

   Of course that had to be the night I ran into an old high school friend.

   “Well, who’da thunk it. The waitresses have gotten even more beautiful since the last time I was here.”

   I was busy serving the next table over, so I didn’t register the voice behind me as belonging to someone I knew. I turned, ready to deliver a crushing set-down when my eyes landed on a guy I used to date back when we were teenagers. “Beau!”

   “Hello, Brenda Rosalinda. Gosh, you’re a sight for sore eyes.” He stood to give me a hug, much to the disgruntlement of his date. I tried to tune out the dirty looks she was aiming at me. “Some things never change. I can’t believe you still work here.”

   “I can’t believe it, either.” I didn’t bother going into the long explanation about how I’d been promoted last year. Fact was, I was hardly a waitress anymore. But it didn’t seem to matter to him, so I wasn’t as embarrassed as I used to be about it. “How come I don’t see you around here anymore?”

   He settled back into his seat, explaining, “I just moved back to the area. I’ve been in Japan for the past few years. Electronics stuff. I won’t bore you with it. But I just bought a new house up in Saddle River. I’m back, baby!”

   His proclamation made me laugh. “It’s good to see you. How are you? How are your parents?”

   “They’re great. They don’t hang around the club too much these days. Too busy traveling.”

   “Rough life.” I couldn’t hide the derision from my voice when I said that but Beau didn’t seem to notice.

   “You should come by and see them. They’d love to see you. They moved out of Shermer Heights years ago but they’re right in Alpine.”

   “Well, I’m always here if they ever want to pop in.” I was trying to make it clear that there was no way I’d ever make a special trip over to his parents’ just for a friendly visit. We didn’t have that type of relationship. I barely had a relationship with their son, for godsakes.

   “So, how is everything?” he asked. “Eddie’s not, you know, still in the picture, is he?”

   I’d have been lying if I said I was living the dream, but I wasn’t about to tell Beau that. It was none of his business. I wiggled my left hand between us, displaying the gold ring around my finger. “Actually, he is. We’re doing fine.” I was trying to make my case but the truth was, I was really trying to convince myself.

   He seemed amused by my answer as he threw an arm across the back of his date’s chair. She utilized the opportunity to flick a smug smile in my direction before dismissing me outright, turning her attention back to her friends.

  
Bitch.

   “You really look terrific, Beau. You lost weight since I’ve seen you last. God. That has to be… what? Five years ago?”

   Beau raised an eyebrow and confirmed, “Yes. A few months before you got married.”

   An unspoken exchange took place between us as our last encounter played across both our minds. He had “bumped into me” at work, then hung around during my entire shift, bombarding me every free minute, attempting to get me to cancel the wedding. I remembered being angry about it at the time but maybe he knew what he was talking about. As much as I loved my husband, life with Eddie had been anything but easy the past few years.

   “Yes. I remember now.”

   His teeth made an appearance as he leered at me. “We sure did have some fun back in the day, didn’t we, Brenda?”

   I shot a quick look at his girlfriend before my eyes lowered to half-mast, and I answered him through a repressed smile. “We sure did.”

   My capitulation seemed to please him immensely, and he grinned ear-to-ear at my blatant flirting.

   Beau’s date had been trying to appear engrossed in discussion with the rest of her tablemates, but she broke away long enough to run a hand along his forearm. “Beau, Georgette was thinking of renting a house in the Hamptons this summer. Can we? I think it would be grand.”

   I had to stop myself from snorting aloud at the use of her word “grand.” Only a rich snob would use a word like
grand
. This chick was obviously part of Beau’s world, a completely separate universe from mine. For all our flirting, I knew a guy like him would never again deign to step out of his rigid social circle to date someone outside of The Quality. He was merely toying with me. Having a little fun. Slumming.

   I hated his girlfriend in that moment. A woman I didn’t even know, and I hated her with every fiber of my being.

   Beau indulged her question, if not necessarily her request. “Something to think about, poppet.” Then he gave her hand a tap, dismissing her outright. As high-class as she was, she couldn’t stop her eyes from tightening in my direction before turning her attention back to her friends.

   “Well, Beau. It was great to see you, but I’m in the middle of a shift.”

   He raked his eyes up and down my uniform. “I can see that.”

   I tried not to squirm at his perusal, and instead offered him a smile. “You take care, now.”

   “Will do.” He leaned back in his chair, crossing his hands against his midsection. “I’ll be seeing you around,
Brenda Rosalinda
.”

   His words came across as more of a threat than a promise. Even still, I allowed my lips to curl into a seductive grin as I answered, “I certainly hope so.”

PART THREE

THE END OF THE SHOW

CHAPTER 38

The Longest Time

EDDIE

Friday, July 26

1985

S
o there I was, standing in the lobby bar at the Plaza Hotel in a goddamn jacket, sweating bullets in that stupid old suit. I had dozens of nicer ones in my closet now, but my old gray number was the only one I wanted to wear tonight. I skipped the tie and went with a pink T-shirt, however, and I hadn’t shaved in order to allow for the perfect amount of shadow across my jaw.

   What can I say? Maxine had instilled in me a solid respect for fashion during our marriage.

   John at the bar was sort of a friend of mine, so he hooked me up with a free drink. I’d be sure to tip him handsomely. Chances were good that it would be a long, long time before I’d ever see him again and I figured I may as well leave him with a nice memory of his old pal.

   I’d be blowing out of this joint in a matter of hours.

   There was a guy playing piano a few steps away, so I stuffed a fiver in his jar and asked him to play “Just the Way You Are.”
It was a nostalgic night and I was in the mood for a memory. I made my way over to the booths and sipped my drink while I listened to him bang out my requested song.

   And then Brenda walked in.

   More beautiful than I’d ever seen her, which was saying a lot. A sly smile plastered to her face, a wicked gleam in her eye as she scanned the room.

   It was hard to breathe just from the mere sight of her, and goddammit if my heart hadn’t stopped beating. Even after all those years, just being in the same room with her was enough to completely obliterate me. Although, at that moment, a strange calm enveloped me when I realized that she’d bothered to come here at all. The Plaza had been an annual pilgrimage for me, and it was comforting to see her making the trek as well.

   She looked happy. Why was she happy? We hadn’t seen each other since that crazy night right before her wedding, almost three years ago. She should’ve been miserable. She should’ve realized that it was our anniversary, and that we weren’t together for it, that it was the fifth one we’d spent apart.

   Just as she retrieved her drink, she turned away from the bar… and her eyes landed on mine. I smiled and saluted her with my glass as an expression of
pleasantly surprised
flitted across her face.

   She didn’t hesitate to slip into the booth across from me, and out of a purely instinctual drive, I wanted to kiss her hello. It was all I could do to keep myself from sliding over and wrapping myself around her. But before I could jump her bones right there in the bar, she held up her hand to halt me, all business. “I’m surprised to see you here.”

   That killed me. “Where else would I be tonight?”

   We’d spent every one of our anniversaries there. After our split, I still went every year, even if I knew she wouldn’t be there with me. This was the first time she showed up.

   She stirred her drink with a cocktail straw, not meeting my eyes as she said, “Heard you got divorced.”

   I tried to answer as casually as I could. “Yeah. Looks like I’m oh-for-two.” I raised my eyebrows at her and she snickered to herself. “And you? How are things going with
Brummel?
”

   She couldn’t contain her smile as she met my eyes and answered, “You know all too well that we split up. Isn’t that why you’re here?”

   “I come every year.” I cleared my throat, realizing too late how pathetic that may have sounded. “Why would I skip tonight?”

   Her lips pursed into a repressed smile. “I don’t know. I guess I thought there was a chance you’d take off for Bermuda without me.”

   My brows furrowed, trying to figure out if she really meant what she’d just said. “Baby,” I snickered. “That wasn’t the plan. Wherever you go, I go, remember?”

   “Damn straight.”

   I reached a hand across the table to grasp hers. God, it felt good to touch her again. I didn’t want to wait an extra minute to get my hands on
every
part of her but I settled for our interlaced fingers for the time being. I gave her knuckles a quick kiss before releasing her hand. “But I
am
packed. Just waiting on you before I buy the plane tickets.”

  
“The Plan” had always been to meet here, on our anniversary, once we were both divorced. I came here every year figuring if Bren ever showed up, it would be easy enough to make myself available; I could immediately break it off with Maxine in order to get back with my
real
wife.

   But then, in an unforeseen twist of fate, Maxine had expedited our split when she embarked on an affair with her tennis instructor.
She
broke it off with
me
, and the timing couldn’t have been more perfect; I’d just heard that Bren and Beau had been “having some problems.”

   Even though I came into tonight pretty confident that this year would be
Th
e Year, I still couldn’t get over my shock that this was finally happening. I still couldn’t believe we’d actually gotten away with it.

   She smiled as she picked at the napkin in her lap, almost shy when she asked, “So… How’d you do?”

   I propped an elbow on the table and leaned in to answer. “About one-point-five. You?”

   She crossed her arms and settled back against the cushion. “An even three.”

   My eyes narrowed, shooting her a sham dirty look. I watched her lips curl into a perfect Brenda grin as she added, “Looks like I win.”