A Wedding for Wiglaf? (9 page)

How Frypot came to be the cook at DSA is something of mystery. Rumors abound. Some say that when Mordred bought the broken-down castle for his school, Frypot was already in the kitchen and he simply stayed on. Others say that Lady Lobelia hired Frypot because he was so speedy at washing dishes. Still others say Frypot knows many a dark secret that keeps him from losing his job. But no one ever, ever says that Frypot was hired because of his excellent cooking skills.

Known to the Boys as:
Who needs a nickname with a real name like Frypot?

Dream:
Cleaner kitchen

Reality:
Kitchen cleaner

Best-Kept Secret:
Takes long bubble baths in the moat

Plans for the Future:
Has signed up for a beginning cooking class

Yorick is Chief Scout at DSA. His knack for masquerading as almost anything comes from his years with the Merry Minstrels and Dancing Damsels Players, where he won an award for his role as the Glass Slipper in “Cinderella”. However, when he was passed over for the part of Mama Bear in “Goldilocks”, Yorick decided to seek a new way of life. He snuck off in the night and, by dawn, still dressed in the bear suit, found himself walking up Huntsmans Path. Mordred spied him from a castle window, recognized his talent for disguise, and hired him as Chief Scout on the spot.

Known to the Boys as:
Who’s that?

Dream:
Master of Disguise

Reality:
Mordred’s Errand Boy

Best-Kept Secret:
Likes dressing up as King Ken

Plans for the Future:
To lose the bunny suit

Wiglaf, our newest lad, hails from a hovel outside the village of Pinwick, which makes Toenail look like a thriving metropolis. Being one of thirteen children, Wiglaf had a taste of dorm life before coming to DSA and he fit right in. He started the year off with a bang when he took a stab at Coach Plungett’s brown pageboy wig. Way to go, Wiggie! We hope to see more of this lad’s wacky humor in the years to come.

Dream:
Bold Dragon-Slaying Hero

Reality:
Still hangs on to a “security” rag

Extracurricular Activities:
Animal-Lovers Club, President; No More Eel for Lunch Club, President; Frypot’s Scrub Team, Brush Wielder; Pig Appreciation Club, Founder

Favorite Subject:
Library

Plans for the Future:
To go for the gold!

The nephew of Mordred and Lady Lobelia, Angus walks the line between saying, “I’m just one of the lads” and “I’m going to tell my uncle!” Will this Class I lad ever become a mighty dragon slayer? Or will he take over the kitchen from Frypot some day? We of the DSA Yearbook staff are betting on choice #2. And hey, Angus? The sooner the better!

Dream:
A wider menu selection at DSA

Reality:
Eel, Eel, Eel!

Extracurricular Activities:
DSA Cooking Club, President; Smilin’ Hal’s Off -Campus Eatery, Sales Representative

Favorite Subject:
Lunch

Plans for the Future:
To write
101 Ways to Cook
a
Dragon

Eric hails from Someplace Far Away (at least that’s what he wrote on his Application Form). There’s an air of mystery about this Class I lad, who says he is “totally typical and absolutely average.” If that is so, how did he come to own the rich tapestry that hangs over his cot? And are his parents really close personal friends of Sir Lancelot? Did Frypot the cook bribe him to start the Clean Plate Club? And doesn’t Eric’s arm ever get tired from raising his hand in class so often?

Dream:
Valiant Dragon Slayer

Reality:
Teacher’s Pet

Extracurricular Activities:
Sir Lancelot Fan Club; Armor Polishing Club; Future Dragon Slayer of the Month Club; DSA Pep Squad, Founder and Cheer Composer

Favorite Subject:
All of Them!!!!!

Plans for the Future:
To take over DSA

This is a banner year for Baldrick. He is celebrating his tenth year as a Class I lad at DSA. Way to go, Baldrick! If any of you new students want to know the ropes, Baldrick is the one to see. He can tell when you should definitely not eat the cafeteria’s eel, where the choice seats are in Professor Pluck’s class, and what to tell the headmaster if you are late to class. Just don’t ask him the answer to any test questions.