A Will To Change (Hope) (22 page)

“I have nothing to say to you!” I snapped, trying my best to keep my voice down and not make a scene at work.

“Gabby, please. Don’t do this.”

Looking around and making sure that no one was within earshot, I let her have it. “
I
didn’t do anything. You did. You defended that scumbag and made it look like it was my fault. What kind of mother -?” I had to stop myself. I knew that I was going to have a complete and utter meltdown right there in the middle of the floor, and I didn’t want that to happen. My heart was racing just as much as my legs to get to the elevator. I leaned my head against the wall and closed my eyes when she followed me in.

“Gabby, I didn’t mean anything by that. It just came out wrong.”

“It came out wrong? It shouldn’t have come out at all. Look, I’m hungry. I only have a few minutes to throw something down my throat, and I really can’t do this with you right now.”

She followed me into the cafeteria. I dished out my soup, grabbed a drink, and paid the cashier, the whole time pretending like she wasn’t there. After slamming my tray down on the table, hoping that she would get the hint, I realized that it was just useless. “What do you want from me?” I asked, finally looking into her cold, brown eyes.

“Gabby, I haven’t heard from you in months. You haven’t returned my calls or my texts. It would be nice to know that you were still alive.”

“What the hell do you care? If I listened to you, I’d still be getting my face bashed in by some arrogant, fuckin’ prick just because he has money.”

She cringed at my language, looking around to make sure that no one else heard. “Gabby, I was wrong for saying that. I’m sorry for what he did to you. You didn’t deserve it.” I was still having a hard time believing that there was any authenticity in her words. “I really want you to come to the Christmas party. I miss you.” She pulled a tissue from her purse and dabbed her eyes. The funny thing was, I didn’t see any tears. “Look, I know I haven’t been the best mother in the world to you, but I still love you and worry about you. I want to start over going into the new year. I want to be the mom that you deserve.” I nearly choked on my soup. I wanted to ask her who this woman was and what did she do with the real Jackie French? “Please, Gabby. Say that you’ll come.” She reached over the table and took my free hand as I stared at her in disbelief. My mother never begged anyone, especially me. It was either do as she said or don’t do at all.

“I don’t know. I have to see what my schedule is like,” I said, wondering if the word “sucker” was flashing across my forehead.

“Well, it’s two nights away. You don’t know what you schedule is like yet?” she said with a raise of her eyebrow.

“Well, Mom, despite what you may think, I have a life, too, you know.”
What if my blind date and I fall madly in love tomorrow night and just happen to decide to elope on Saturday?
Strangely, that idea sounded less crazy to me than my mother actually caring enough to show up, groveling, at my work.

“Well, I’m really hoping that you can make it.” I nodded and continued slurping down my soup, hoping that she would get up now that she had said her peace.

“So, what’s new with you, Gabby? Where are you living?”
Damn it. Not so lucky!

“With a friend in Brooklyn.”

“Brooklyn?!” I could almost see her nose turning up. I put my head back down and laughed silently. Nope, no one kidnapped her. This was the same pretentious woman I had known my entire life.

“Well, does this friend have a name?” she asked.

“Yup, he does. Can you believe that, Mom?” She ignored my sarcasm and waited for me to divulge the name. “His name is Will.”

“Oh,” she said, shaking her head. “And what does he do for a living?”

“Nothing that you’d approve of.”

“Damn it, Gabby. Stop being so cynical. I’m trying here, and you’re not making it very easy.”

“He’s a fireman.”

Her eyes widened. “Oh, well. That’s a good, comfortable job.” I snickered under my breath at her fakeness.

“And, just for the record, he’s not my boyfriend.”

“Well, feel free to bring him to the party, if you’d like.” I nearly spit my water out at the thought of Will hobnobbing with all of my mother’s and her husband’s uppity friends.

“Oh, no. I’m sure he’s already got plans.”

“Oh, yeah. He probably works a lot on the weekends with a job like
that,
” she said, rolling her eyes.

“A job like what, Mom? A blue collar job where you actually have to
earn
your money, instead of barking out orders to everyone else and making millions. Well, let me tell you, I’d rather have a job like mine or Will’s any day. Helping people is much more rewarding than any amount of money that you could ever receive. You should try it sometime. You might actually like it.” I knew I was being a bitch, but I couldn’t help myself. I had thirty-one years of pent up aggression toward her and, right now, I was in complete defense mode.

“Gabby Lynn, why do you always have to be such a smart mouth?” she asked through clenched teeth.

“Because that’s the way my dad raised me.” I glared at her over my water bottle.

I was relieved when she finally stood up. “I’m not going to get into it with you. I came here to ask for your presence at the party and, hopefully, make amends. I can see that we still need to work on that. I’m hoping, in time, that we can.” She leaned down and kissed me on the cheek. “Hope to see you Saturday night,” she said before slipping her Birkin bag over her wrist and walking away.

“Hey, don’t forget Kroger’s bachelor party tomorrow night,” Peterson said as we were walking out of the station.

“Yeah, I know. Eight o’clock, right?”

A huge grin stretched across his face. “Yeah. It’s gonna be a wild time! We’re meeting at Clancy’s and then we’ll head out from there.”

“Alright, see ya then.” I got into my jeep to head home.

Gabby and I had been working opposite schedules for the past week and I was finding that I was really missing hanging out with her. I had never needed a woman in my life before, except in a sexual way. But being with Gabby over these past few months, I was finding that I
did
need her and it didn’t have anything to do with sex. I missed her when she wasn’t around…her laugh, her smile, her wise ass comments, and just spending time with her. Sometimes it was just hanging out and watching a movie, or having her crazy ass wake me up at the crack of dawn to go for a walk with her in the freezing cold. She’d usually blow all of the calories that she had just burned walking by stopping off at the coffee shop and ordering a double cinnamon latte with extra whipped cream. Crazy girl she was, but she was
my
crazy girl.

Before I knew it, I was walking up the stairs to my apartment. It seemed like the shortest drive home ever, even in rush hour traffic, but then I remembered that the entire drive was filled with thoughts of Gabby. Time always went by fast whenever she was around, whether it was spending time with her physically or just thinking about her. My happy thoughts were quickly halted when I remembered that tonight was the night of her blind date. I didn’t like that she was going out with some guy that she never even met, not to mention the little hint that she had dropped about possibly sleeping with him. The thought of that made me want to puke. Gabby was not a one-night type of girl, and I hated that she felt like she had to resort to that. She deserved nothing but the best and, as far as I was concerned, no guy would ever be good enough for her.

Gabby’s out-of-date music that she always listened to was blasting from her bedroom when I walked into the apartment. After quickly looking over my mail, I threw it down on the kitchen table and took a deep breath. Since I had been avoiding the topic with her all week, it was time to find out a little bit about this asshole that she was going out with.

I couldn’t contain my laughter as I walked down the hallway toward her bedroom. I didn’t know what was funnier, her attempting to sing or the lame eighties music that she was singing to.

I tapped lightly on her door. “Am I invited to the concert, or is it a private performance?”

The music suddenly turned down. “Come in! You can be my groupie!”

As I opened the door, I had to do a double take. She looked hot as hell, even in just a bathrobe. I was instantly hating this stranger that she was going out with even more. Her hair was hanging around her face in soft waves, just the way that I liked it, and she had on a little more makeup than she normally wore, not that she needed it. I sat down on her bed while she ran around pulling clothes out of her drawer. “Which one?” she asked, holding up a totally hot black low cut top and a pink turtleneck sweater.

“The pink one,” I said knowing that it totally screamed “I'm a good girl”.

“So who is this guy?” I asked.

“Oh, he's a friend of the husband of one of the girls from work.”

“Oh, so you have no clue if he’s an ax murderer or not.”

She rolled her eyes at me and threw the shirts down on the bed. “Really, Will? He's an accountant.”

“Oh, okay. I forgot that there was some golden rule out there that all accountants are nice guys.” 

“You are too much! I will be fine,” she said, taking a seat on the bed next to me.

“What's this joker's name?”

“Gene.” I couldn’t hold back my laughter. “What's so funny?” she asked.

“As in Eugene? He probably wears nerdy glasses, has a pencil stuck behind his ear, and recites his math facts right before he blows his load.”

She smacked me lightly on the arm. “Well, better to be a geek than a psychopath,” she teased before getting up and bending over to pick out her shoes. I tried my hardest not to look at her ass and the black lacy underwear hanging out of her bathrobe.
Why was she wearing that sexy pair of underwear to go out on a blind date with a geek named Eugene?

She turned around, holding up two pair of shoes. I pointed to the less sexy pair. She moved in closer to me and I could feel my “best friend” down below getting a little excited as I stared up at her in her skimpy robe, breathing in her familiar vanilla scent. “And you better be on your best behavior.”

“Always,” I smirked.