A Will To Change (Hope) (9 page)

“No, not at all,” I responded as we stepped out of the elevator and onto the street.

“Yeah, okay, Will. You are talking to me,
Peterson,
remember? You’re not telling me that you haven’t thought about fucking that sweet little thing every way imaginable while you were cooped up in that hospital.” 

Just hearing him talk that way about Gabby pissed me off. “Gabby’s not like that!”

“What are you trying to say? She’s into chicks? Hell, that’s even better!”

“No, you fuckin’ dumb ass. She’s just a sweet girl. Not the fuck and forget about type.” “Okay, so if you’re not interested, does that mean -?”

“Don’t even fuckin’ think about it, Peterson!”

I was so glad to finally be walking through the door of my apartment. I still had a few more weeks until I could return to work, but at least I wasn’t stuck in that hospital anymore. Not to mention that it would be a little easier to lie to my mother from home. She still didn’t know what had happened and I didn’t have any intention of telling her. I was starving and hoping to find something edible as I opened up my refrigerator. Oh well. No such luck. I felt like I had struck gold when I opened up the cabinet to find one pack of Ramen Pride noodles. I wasted no time mixing them with water and popping those bad boys into the microwave.  

I flicked on the TV and sat down with my noodles. I was getting a whole new appreciation for my apartment and my 62” flat screen, instead of the tiny little one in my hospital room. I was annoyed when I heard a knock on my door, forcing me to get up just as I was getting reunited with my Xbox and
Call of Duty
. My annoyance grew when I looked through the peep hole to find Janelle on the other side of the door.
What the fuck? Do these chicks have some kind of LoJack on me or something?

“Hey,” I said as I opened the door. Normally, the sight of Janelle in her daisy dukes and her Double D tits hanging out a tank top that was two sizes too small would excite me but, right now, I just wanted to be left alone.

“Hey, baby!” she said, pulling me into her and sticking her tongue down my throat. I quickly pulled away. “Will, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Just calm down, okay?”

“Well, I missed you and I’m sure you missed me, too,” she said as she slowly moved her hand down to my dick. The truth was I didn’t miss
her.
Sex, yes, but since I never attached sex to one girl in particular, there was no way that I could miss them. I removed her hand from my crotch and led her over to the couch. “Geez, Will. Did they do a lobotomy while you were in the hospital?” she asked.

This was way out of character for me. Normally, I would have already had her pinned up against the wall with my dick inside of her. But, right now, I just wasn’t feeling it. I laughed it off. “I just got home, Janelle. Give me a few. How did you even know I was home?” I asked.

“Brian came into Clancy’s last night.” Clancy’s was the bar that we frequented and the place that Janelle bartended while she pursued her career in “acting”.
Damn it, big mouth fuckin Peterson!

I switched off the game and put on the TV. I felt a little weird hanging out with her. The only time Janelle and I spent any time together was for sex. I flicked through the channels, remembering all the nights that Gabby would stay way past her shift to watch TV with me. I found myself strangely wishing that she were here sitting beside me instead of Janelle.

“Oh, leave this on!” Janelle screeched. I rolled my eyes at the sight of Olivia Newton John and John Travolta on my TV screen as Janelle started singing along to
Summer Lovin’
. I threw my head back on the couch. All I fuckin’ wanted was one night alone in my place after being gone for so long. I wanted to watch what I wanted on my TV, and I sure as hell didn’t feel like listening to what she considered singing, but what others would mistake as a wild dog call.
Oh, what the fuck? If it will shut her the fuck up, I’ll take one for the team.
I moved in closer and stuck my tongue in her mouth, putting myself and all of the dogs within a ten mile radius out of misery.

I took the taxi over the bridge into Brooklyn, stopping at Emerson Place. Will’s apartment complex was in the Clinton Hill neighborhood, right across the street from Pratt Institute. I stepped into the building and did a double take at the familiar blonde stepping out of the elevator, looking all disheveled.
Boy, Will didn’t waste any time
, I giggled to myself as I hit the number two button on the elevator. I reached his apartment and rang the buzzer. It was taking him awfully long to answer and if I hadn’t seen the busty blonde exiting the elevator, I would have thought that maybe I was interrupting something, unless he was making up for lost time and had another one in there.

I was just about to text him when the door flung open. He was standing in front of me with a towel wrapped around his waist and water beading from his short dark hair. My eyes instantly gravitated to his perfect pecs.
Stop it, Gabby. This isn’t the first time that you’ve seen a guy without a shirt. Hell, this isn’t even the first time that you’ve seen
Will
without a shirt, or even naked.
But I was in nurse mode then, not really paying attention to his body, or at least
trying
not to. I did gravitate to that one particular area that day, studying it for a little longer than I should have when he wasn’t paying attention. The only thought going through my mind when I did was that maybe he wasn’t kidding when he said that it had super human powers.

“Step into my web, little fly,” he said. His grin widened as he opened the door further.

“More like love shack. Hot blonde coming off the elevator as I got on,” I smirked.

He rolled his eyes. “Ugh, yeah. She’s a fuckin’ pain in my ass!”

“Oh, Will, you kill me with your women.”

His smile deepened, revealing the slightest little dimple in his left cheek. “Sit down. I just gotta get dressed really quick.”

He started to walk away when I noticed the two black and white tattoos on each of his shoulders. “Hey, what are your tats?” I asked.

He quickly turned around. “An angel on my left shoulder and a devil on my right.”

“And something tells me that you listen more to the guy on the right,” I teased.

He shrugged his shoulders and smirked. “Depends on the day.”

I eyed up his apartment while he went into his bedroom and dressed. It was nice and roomy, and not half bad for a bachelor’s pad. I picked up the picture on his end table of him and the cutest little boy standing in front of a fire truck. They both had mile wide smiles plastered across their faces. Will had his arms wrapped around him and even with the oversized firefighter helmet that the little boy was wearing, I could still see his bright blue eyes that mirrored Will’s. I couldn’t help but wonder if he had a kid that he didn’t tell me about. I was still staring at the picture when he walked out, pulling his t-shirt over his head.

“Cute kid!” I said, placing it back down on the table. His smile slowly faded and I immediately saw pain shooting through his eyes.

He nodded as he moved closer and picked up the picture, staring at it closely. “Yeah. That’s my Charlie.”

“Your son?”

“My nephew. Jamie and Hope’s son.”

I was a little confused. He had told me all about Jamie and Hope’s
daughter,
but never said anything about their son. He must have seen the confusion on my face and I could see the emotion building in his eyes. He whispered, “He drowned a few years ago.”

I covered my mouth with my hand. “Oh, my god, Will. I am so sorry!”

He stared at the photo a little longer. “He was such a great kid. He wanted to be a fireman when he grew up just like his silly uncle Willy.” His eyes shifted back to mine and he smiled. “That’s what he would call me. After listening to years of my dad’s constant put downs, it was nice to have someone that looked up to me.” He placed the picture back down on the table and tried his best to snap out of it, but I could tell it was still weighing heavy on his mind.

“So, do you have all of your goodies that you were sent home with yesterday?” I asked, trying to shift the topic.

“Right here,” he replied, holding up the bag containing everything we would need to change his dressing. We took a seat at his kitchen table and I handed him the scissors. “What are you doing?”

“You’re going to do it and I’m going to supervise.”

He rolled his eyes. “Don’t roll your eyes. You have to do this yourself and there’s no reason why you can’t. It’s your right arm and you’re a lefty.”

“You’re tough, you know that?”

“And don’t you forget it.” I smirked. I watched as he began to remove the bandage, helping him out every now and then.

“I just thought of something.”

“What’s that?” I asked.

“I don’t even know your last name.”

I began to giggle. “Will, how many last names do you know of the girl’s that you encounter?”

He raised his eyebrows and nodded. “True. But you’re not like all of those other girls.”

I wasn’t quite sure if I should take that as a compliment or not. “It’s Spencer.” His eyes widened as if he were surprised. “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing. I was just expecting it to be Lopez or De Angelo or something like that.”

I laughed. “Actually, my dad’s mother was a ‘Garcia’. She was Spanish, his dad was Irish. And my mom -.” I paused for a brief moment, hating to admit that I was even part of her. “She’s one hundred percent Italian.”

“So do you and your mom get along?” he asked. I began to take over wrapping his arm, trying to distract myself from the mere thought of my mother.

“No, not really…at all,” I finally admitted. “All she cares about is money, and her wonderful husband, and reminding me any chance she can that I was just a mistake.”

He looked at me sadly. “Wow. I’m really sorry.”

I shrugged my shoulders. “Don’t be. I’m used to it.”

“Well, if it makes you feel better, my dad is no better. I’m the fucked up son. I totally get where you’re coming from when you say you get used to it.”

“Good. We can commiserate together.”

Will began to tell me all about his dad and how he never got over the fact that he didn’t go to law school like his brother. “Well, that’s just silly. Doesn’t he realize that your job is very important? I mean, you risk your life to save people. It takes a special kind of person to do that.”

“My old man is all about education. You can have the most honorable job in the world and be making millions of dollars a year, but if you don’t have an education that’s up to his standards, then it don’t mean nothin’ to him.”

“Well, at least he’s not consumed by money like my mother. She married her current husband less than two months after my dad died.”

Will’s eyes widened. “Wow! She doesn’t waste any time.”

“Yeah, well, I think they were together a long time before that, if you know what I mean. I think my dad knew all about it, but he never said anything. I was his main priority.”

“How did he die?”

I began to wrap his arm quicker, trying to fight the tears that still came to my eyes just thinking about my dad. “He, umm…he had a heart attack.”