A Woman Lost (28 page)

I smiled briefly. The thought of my brother being stood-up at the altar pleased me.

“Calm down, Maddie.” She was pacing back and forth. I thought for sure she would crash right through the wall.

My statement pissed her off. “Calm down … ” She turned on me. “Calm down? Why should I calm down? What a fucking asshole. He had the gall to tell me to get used to it. That she wasn’t going away.” She kicked a trash can across the room. “What a fucking asshole!”

Dumbfounded, I asked her what she was talking about.

“Like you don’t know. Everyone knows. He isn’t very secretive about it.”

“Seriously, what are you talking about?”

Maddie stopped suddenly and looked taken aback. “You really don’t know.”

I shook my head.

“He’s cheating on me.”

It all made sense instantly. That was why he was never home. That was why she would get a forlorn, lonely look sometimes. That was why she spent so much time in Fort Collins. How could I be so stupid and insensitive not to notice? In her hotel room, she said I was more like my family than I knew. Now I understood.

“Honestly, Maddie, I didn’t know. I’m so sorry.”

“I thought for sure you knew but were too nice to mention it.” She collapsed into a chair. “He wants everything to be perfect. A perfect career. A perfect wife. Perfect kids. And a perfect mistress. I was just another piece of the perfect puzzle. He needed a beautiful wife to go with his perfect life. No one wants to marry the mistress. But this isn’t the 1800s. Wives don’t just look the other way anymore. I’m not your mother.”

“What?”

“Really, Lizzie? Are you that oblivious to everything? Your father has been having an affair for years. You can’t possibly think he works all of the time.” She threw her arms up in the air, exasperated.

“I guess I never gave it much thought.” I shrugged. The news didn’t affect me. I felt no pity for my mother, no anger at my father. I had cut them from my life long ago. Their actions no longer had any impact on me.

“Peter even told me I should learn from his mother. She had everything she wanted: money, houses, rich friends, expensive vacations. But look at her, Lizzie, she’s miserable. I don’t want to be miserable.” Her eyes screamed bloody-murder.

I wished Sarah were here; she would know what to say. I stood awkwardly and offered to tell Peter the wedding was off.

Maddie looked up at me. “No,” she said.

“You don’t plan on going through with it, do you?”

She laughed. “No, I don’t. But I don’t plan on telling him that. Let him stand up there and look like a fool. See how he likes it.”

The image was delightful. I smiled and nodded.

“I saw Sarah with you.”

“Yes, she told me you guilt-tripped her into coming.”

“You really are clueless, aren’t you?”

Instead of being offended, I answered, “Yes.”

“Don’t mess this up, Lizzie.”

My confused look must have urged her to continue. “Yes. I guilted her, but she came, didn’t she? She came. She still cares. Yes, she wants to make you suffer for a while. But she’s a woman; that’s what we do. Don’t mess this up again. Are you ready to take the plunge?” She hit me in the arm.

I couldn’t believe that one minute she was telling me she was not going to get married, and the next she was calling me a moron for ruining my relationship with Sarah.

“I hope not to ruin anything. But right now, what are we going to do?”

“I think I am going to leave.”

“Where can I take you?”

“Lizzie, if you go with me, I think Peter will figure it out.”

“Um, Maddie, I don’t know if you noticed, but I’m not particularly close to my brother, or to anyone else in my family. I don’t give a fuck what they think.”

She threw me a look of relief and said, “Let me change out of this horrible dress.” She rushed behind the changing screen.

“Okay, let me go get Sarah.”

She popped back into view. “Bravo, Lizzie. You might not fuck this up after all.”

“I hope not.” I disappeared out of the room.

Sarah was in the same spot, talking to a new couple. I approached quietly, and when there was a break in the conversation, I excused us and directed her to Maddie’s room. On the way, I quickly explained we were leaving with Maddie.

Sarah didn’t even bat an eye. “Thank God,” she said. “Your brother is such an asshole.”

I almost said that it runs in the family, but decided against it. How had I been so oblivious to everything? It astounded me. Ethan was dead-on. I was self-absorbed.

By the time we got back, Maddie was ready to go. She had left the dress hanging in the room with a note that read, “Give it to her.”

As the three of us exited the room, The Scotch-lady approached. For once, she didn’t have a drink in her hand. She looked naked, vulnerable.

“Going somewhere?” she hissed.

At first, I wanted to tell her to go to hell. Then I looked at her‌—‌looked at her properly for probably the first time in years. She looked small. Weak. Sad.

“Mother‌—‌”
What to say?
“I didn’t know. I’m sorry.”

She misunderstood. “Don’t apologize. I’m happy to be rid of both of you.” She glared at Maddie and then at me. “Really, I thought this would be one of the worst days of my life, but now I’ve killed two birds with one stone, wouldn’t you say?” She cocked one thin eyebrow.

Her ire did not hurt. I felt sorry for her.

I considered giving her a quick hug. Maybe Maddie sensed this, because she yanked my arm away to save me from my mom’s reaction if I did.

“That’s right, Elizabeth. You better leave with your harem.” She clenched her jaw. “It looks like we can have a proper Christmas party this year‌—‌just like I’ve always wanted. With you gone, things can be normal again.”

I looked at her and bowed my head. Hopefully, that would make her happy, even if it were a fleeting happiness.

We piled into my car. It was only noon, and it was so nice out that I decided we should go to the mountains. Maddie was wearing jeans and a T-shirt, but Sarah and I were still wearing dresses. Not digging the pink dress, I had packed a bag of clothes to change into at the first opportunity. However, Sarah had planned on heading back to Fort Collins later that night, so had nothing to change into.

I pulled off I-25 at the nearest mall.

“Sarah, I think it’s time I bought you clothes for once.”

“Why? Where are we going?”

“If it’s all right with you two, I thought we could go to Breckenridge for the weekend.”

“That sounds fantastic, but I can’t use my credit cards, or at least I don’t think I can. I’m sure Peter will have them cancelled within minutes of finding the dress.” Maddie looked despondent.

“You can count on that. No worries, though. He doesn’t have access to mine. And since we are on summer break, Sarah and I don’t have any classes on Monday. So we can make it a long weekend.”

“I’m supposed to be on my honeymoon, so I don’t need to be at work on Monday.” Maddie sighed and looked out the window.

When we parked, Sarah hopped out of the car first. Maddie squeezed my arm and gave me an encouraging look. She whispered, “Happy Birthday.”

Was my gift Sarah? Or was it Maddie jilting Peter at the altar? Maybe both.

* * *

Later that day, the three of us sat at a restaurant in Breckenridge. It was happy hour at The Whale’s Tail, and that included ten-cent shrimp and cheap booze. All of us were gorging ourselves on shrimp and beer while Maddie filled Sarah in on the details. Even on the second hearing, I was kicking myself for being so stupid.

When Maddie had finished, Sarah said, “I suspected he was cheating, but I wasn’t sure.”

“Really?”

Both of them stared at me as if I were an idiot.

“What? Am I just totally blind or am I a fucking moron?”

“Yes,” both of them said in unison and then laughed.

Maddie turned to Sarah and asked, “How’s Haley?”

“What’s wrong with Haley?” I wasn’t sure I wanted to know. What if Sarah said they were dating? How would I handle
that
right then?

Sarah ignored me and answered Maddie’s question. “Oh, you are sweet to ask. She’s doing better. And she got the restraining order.”

Maddie looked relieved. I stared at her face and then Sarah’s. “What’s going on? Why did she need a restraining order?”

“Michael beat her up. I knew it was only a matter of time, but I couldn’t convince Haley of that.” Sarah looked on the verge of tears.

“Jesus … Sarah, I’m sorry. Are you okay?” I placed my hand on hers.

She flicked a tear off her face. Maddie rubbed her back. How in the world did Maddie know about this when I didn’t? Then it hit me: Maddie and Sarah were friends. I mean, they must have met up, like Maddie and I did. And I’m betting Sarah never considered that Maddie was hitting on her. Sarah probably knew that Maddie needed a friend and was there for her, like she was for Haley. When Sarah needed a friend, she turned to Maddie, not to me.

“I’m so sorry … I didn’t know how serious it was. Seriously, I feel like an asshole right now.” I squeezed her hand more, hoping she would know how awful I felt.

“You’re just extremely self-involved,” Sarah said in a loving way, but her voice informed me that it hurt her.

Maddie’s cell phone interrupted. She stepped outside to speak to her parents.

When I thought Maddie was out of earshot, I said, “Sarah, you thought Peter was having an affair?”

“Lizzie, how can you be so brilliant and yet so stupid? Of course! It was obvious. You just didn’t pay attention. You really should pay more attention to the people around you.” She withdrew her hand.

“I don’t think I paid enough attention to lots of things I should have. Most importantly: you.”

“Wow, you are being honest today, or a sweet talker. Am I a fool to believe anything you say?” She pushed her chair away from the table.

“I’ve had a lot of time to think.” I fidgeted with my beer coaster. “Even Hank doesn’t like me right now.”

Sarah’s eyes filled with tears again. “How is he?”

“He’s good. He’s been very bitey lately, though. Every time I pet him, he chomps my hand.”

“Good! You deserve it.” She slapped my shoulder.

Maddie came back to the table. “My parents are going to the house to get all of my stuff.”

“Will Peter give them any trouble?” asked Sarah.

Maddie laughed. “Gosh, no. Peter is terrified of my father. He’s big in the industry. It’s how we met.” She paused for a few seconds. “So, does anyone need a roommate, or know anywhere I can stay?”

“Well,” I smiled, preparing to divulge my secret. “I’m buying a cabin in Idaho, an hour away from Jackson Hole. You’re welcome to stay there for however long you want.”

Sarah stared at me. I couldn’t believe I’d suddenly blurted this out in front of her. After all the looking at houses we had done together, I went away for a week and bought a place.

Then she surprised me. She laughed. “Hmmm … I guess you are capable of buying a home. Or is it less scary if you call it a cabin?”

“Maybe.” I chuckled and met her eyes. “Or maybe I liked that it is just a summer home. I’ll have to close it up for the winters.”

“Why Idaho?” Maddie asked.

“The area is beautiful. The cabin overlooks a lake. Also, I couldn’t justify spending millions of dollars for a place next to the Tetons.”

She nodded. “Thanks for the offer, but I still have to work.”

Sarah stopped staring at me and said, “You can stay with Mom and me. She has a huge house.”

Her response stung. I wanted Sarah back home, but the way she said it made me feel as if staying with her mom was a permanent thing. But I couldn’t blame her. A few nice words wouldn’t wipe away what I had done. The betrayal. It was going to take more. Much more. And it wouldn’t be quick. My plan was to persevere and to take baby steps to show her how much I wanted her in my life.

“If you need a car, you can use mine. I’ll ride my bike.”

“Thanks, Lizzie, but my car is in my name. I insisted on that. And, Sarah, I’ll take you up on that offer. Now, let’s not talk about that asshole for the rest of the weekend. I’ll have plenty of time after Monday to dwell on this. What did I miss while I was gone?”

I raised my beer and hid behind it while I drank. Sarah answered, “Apparently, every time Lizzie pets Hank he bites her.” She couldn’t help laughing.

Maddie hit my arm, too. “Good. You deserve it. What’s this I hear about you thinking of moving out east and not telling Sarah about it?”

I slouched down low in my seat. “It was just an option I was pondering. And I admit, I was an asshole for not telling Sarah about it right away.”

“Damn right you were an asshole. Seriously, Lizzie, that’s a move Peter would have made.” Maddie looked disappointed.

I started to defend myself but thought better of it. She was right. It was a smarmy move. And I was realizing I was more like my brother than I cared to admit. Neither of them had brought up the elephant in the room. How had Maddie convinced her to come to the wedding? Maddie must be more persuasive than I thought possible. Maybe the enormity of Maddie’s decision had pushed aside the event from their minds. I wanted to believe that they would forget it entirely, forever. But life wasn’t that easy. I was learning that. And I was learning that Maddie and Sarah were the best of friends. I had hit on Sarah’s friend. Jesus, I was an imbecile.

“You were considering?” Sarah asked meekly, bringing me back to the conversation.

“I’ve decided there are other aspects of my life that I need to concentrate on, besides my research and career. For now, that choice is out of the hat.” I answered, looking between the two of them.

“Out of the hat? What the fuck does that mean?” Maddie muttered as she shoved another shrimp smothered in cocktail sauce into her mouth. It was hard to believe she had stood Peter up earlier in the day.
Had she planned on doing it all along?
I wondered. If she had, the plan was brilliant, in a crazy, bitchy way. I remembered her referring to the wedding as a show.

“It means that, right now, I am not considering moving. And now I have a place to get away for weekends and stuff.”