Abandon (10 page)

Katy nodded and wiped her nose on the arm of her robe before moving to the bathroom to continue to get ready.  Cort left the room as quickly as he could to grab Annalise’s keys from the kitchen.  Hopefully no one would be in the kitchen so he didn’t have to explain the scene that had just occurred in the bedroom.  

Luck was not on his side though, and Annalise was standing next to the stove, thumbing through a cookbook she had found somewhere in the kitchen a few days earlier.  Her dog was parked right at her feet and looked up towards him.  The dog had the same eyes as Annalise, light blue on the outside with a darker blue ring near the pupils.  He shook his head with a smirk and grabbed her keys off the kitchen counter.  He had always heard that dogs picked their owners, but he had never known they could look so alike until that husky found Annalise.  

“Going somewhere?” she asked.  

He nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets with the keys.  He should play this cool, and not tell Annalise the reason why.  Annalise already had a hard-on for Katy and he didn’t want to expose the weakness he had just seen.  It wasn’t that he expected Annalise to use it against Katy, but he just didn’t want her to file it away as another strike against her.  “Katy mentioned that we hadn’t really seen anything in awhile, so we were going to go to Cumberland and see what we can find.”

Annalise put the cookbook down and turned away from him reaching into the cupboard to pull out some of the food they had.  “Careful with my car,” she said lightly, “By the time I leave here that’s probably going to be the only thing I own.”

Cort froze.  Annalise hadn’t mentioned leaving since the first day they had arrived.  Was she thinking about leaving soon?  Was she going to run away from him and this situation?  She turned around and he could tell that she was looking at him with a bemused face.  She had caught him in a moment of fear, he couldn’t pull himself out of his own thoughts.  

“Relax Cort, I’m not going anywhere in the near future,” she laughed as she pulled out the can opener from a nearby drawer.  “Have fun in Cumberland.”

Cort stood there for a second letting the waves of relief wash over him before slowly turning towards the main hallway.  Katy was standing there looking at him with anticipation on her face.  Taking a deep breath he walked towards the door and took her hand in his.  “Ready?”

“What was that about?” she asked, her voice showing that sometimes she did get the deeper meanings in actions of those around her.

Cort’s conscience nibbled at his soul, he hated lying so much but now was not the time to bring up his history with Annalise and his fear of her leaving him again.  Not when Katy was so fragile.

“Nothing,” he responded ushering Katy towards the door.  She blissfully didn’t ask him any more questions as they got in the car and he started it up.  Another bullet dodged, but he couldn’t help but think that he couldn’t keep up this charade for much longer.  

Chapter 13:  Annalise

Deep Creek Lake, Western Maryland
December 19, 2012

Katy and Cort had been gone for an hour already, and Annalise found herself continually looking at the front door waiting for them to come back.  In her hands, she began peeling the label off the drink she gotten half an hour earlier.  It was a nervous habit of hers, peeling the label off drinks.  Today, she thought, she definitely had reasons to be nervous.  First, Cort and Katy had taken her car.  It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Cort with her car, because she did.  He was a far more careful driver than she would ever be; unfortunately, she didn’t know what else was out there.  What if there were people who would see the car as a threat and destroy it?  She hadn’t been kidding when she said the car would be the only thing she owned when this was all over.

The second reason was far more difficult to address, and probably why she had almost completed peeling the label such a short time after getting the drink.  She couldn’t help but imagine that Cort and Katy were sitting in her car, falling in love the way she and Cort had.  So many of her memories with Cort were in that car that the idea of him making memories with some other girl, not her, made her stomach churn.  When she had bought the car, he had been the first person she had called.  Then, a week later they had shared their first kiss in the car.  It had been after a happy hour with some of their mutual friends, and he had told her softly to lean over towards him in the passenger seat until their lips had touched and sparks had flown.  She remembered long car rides they had taken together, as they had always taken her car.  They had talked for hours, sharing experiences and learning about each other.  The more she waited for them to come back, the more scenarios she could come up with that involved Cort and Katy doing the exact same thing.

She was so wrapped up in her thoughts, she didn’t notice that Jake was staring at her from the couch with disgust in his eyes and she found herself startled when he spoke.  “They’ll get back when they get back.”

“Excuse me?”

“There’s no use watching the damn door the entire time they’re gone, they’ll be back when they get back.” The tone of Jake’s voice confused Annalise.  She had never thought her and Jake were the best of friends, but she had always assumed they had a sort of mutual understanding based on their respective relationships with Cort.  He was Cort’s roommate and confidant, and she had been Cort’s girlfriend.  Even on this trip, he hadn’t been outright rude to her, until now.  She couldn’t help but feel that the underlying emotion coming from him now was a sort of deep seeded hatred and she wasn’t sure what action had prompted it.

“Do you have a problem?” she asked, taking a deep breath and steeling herself against the response she assumed was coming.

Jake looked back at the book he had in his hands, “Yeah, I do.  You shouldn’t have come here.  You should have stayed in DC.”

“Cort invited me,” she began putting her bottle down, preparing herself for a fight.

Jake didn’t even look up from his book, he just continued talking, “So what?  You left him before, you couldn’t just pretend you never heard from him?”

The mix of anger and confusion that assaulted Annalise’s brain was becoming a familiar feeling out here, she realized.  “Why would I do that Jake?”

“I don’t know Annalise, why’d you leave the first time?”

She shut her mouth, trying to figure out a way to explain her break up with Cort.  At the time, there had been a million little reasons for what she had done.  She had seen Cort as uncaring, unfeeling and unlistening.  She had thought there would be someone better out there.  In the months that had passed though, she had discovered there wasn’t anyone better suited for her than Cort, although until she got here she hadn’t admitted it to herself.  She picked up the bottle again, looking for an area of the label to tear off.  How could she explain to Jake all the emotions she felt in a way that would reduce his hatred of her?  

Reprieve came in the form of an engine outside the house.  Cort and Katy had returned from their expedition to Cumberland.  They might have news of what was going on out there.  Suddenly, it occurred to Annalise that they might have news which would end this adventure for all of them.  If that was the case, Cort and Katy would probably ride off in the sunset together and Annalise would be left with nothing again.  She closed her eyes, hoping that wasn’t the case.  Please, let them stay here.  She needed more time, and more time alone with Cort.

The door opened and Katy walked in first, going straight into her bedroom.  Cort followed through the door, shaking off his boots and walking directly towards the kitchen.  There was a weight that seemed to hold him down, making his footsteps heavier and his gate slower.  Annalise was holding her breath, waiting for him to speak with a questioning look in her eyes.

“What’s the word boss?” Jake asked, standing up from the couch and walking towards the kitchen.  His entire demeanor had changed, as if the conversation he had just had with Annalise never happened.  

“There is no word,” Cort replied taking a seat on the stool closest to him and resting his head on the counter.  The weight that had previously been contained to him on his walk seemed to settle in the air, putting Annalise on edge.  “We didn’t make it to Cumberland.”

“What do you mean?” Annalise asked with concern in her voice.  “My car is alright, right?”

Cort turned his head on his arms and looked up at her.  She had never seen him look so weary and depressed before.  The events of the day, whatever they were, must have taken a toll on him.  

“There was a tree blocking the road about ten miles outside of town.  You don’t have maps in your car, and we were low on gas so we came back here.”

Jake snorted, going back to the couch.  Annalise scrunched up her face and sat down next to Cort.  “Why would I have maps in my car?  That’s what I use my phone for.”

“Because Annalise, things like this happen!  Sometimes you don’t have service, sometimes you need a goddamn map!” Cort burst out, standing up and pushing the stool he had been sitting on to the floor.  He began to pace, clenching his fists.  “Now we can’t get to Cumberland, we barely have any gas, and Katy is right, there’s no fucking way for us to know what is going on.”

A heavy silence descended upon the room after Cort’s outburst as Annalise searched words to defend herself.  It was rare for Cort to show any emotion, and he had never shown outright anger to her.   Even worse, Cort was the type of person who would keep a map in his car, and Annalise felt like she had somehow let him down by not doing the same.  She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and began to walk to her room.  This was an argument she couldn’t win.

“Annalise, wait,” she heard Cort say behind her.  Turning, she folded her arms against her chest and looked down at the floor.  Making eye contact seemed like a bad idea at this point.  “I’m sorry,” he continued.  “Katy... she’s in a bad place right now.  She can’t handle this, isn’t made for it.  I don’t think she should be scouting anymore.  She needs time alone to process...”

“It’s okay Cort,” Annalise interrupted him.  “You don’t need to explain.”

Cort didn’t respond to her, and just sat back down on the stool and resumed his position with his head on his hands.  Annalise hovered in the hallway, debating going to him, attempting to comfort him, but instead she walked back to her room to be alone.  Of course this would happen, Katy would be too weak to scout.  She had no experience or desire to be in this situation.  She shouldn’t even be here.  

Annalise heard Jake and Cort talking in muffled tones under her door after she closed it.  How dare Jake say that she should be the one who didn’t come.  It was obviously Katy who didn’t belong here.  She kicked at the bed and punched at the air letting the frustration of the day out.  Her dog, which had followed her into her room gave a soft bark at her and nudged her leg.  She looked at it and gave one more punch into the air. wishing it was someones face her fist was connecting with.  This was the most ridiculous situation she had ever managed to put herself in.  Out in the woods, abandoning the world around her, with a ragtag group of people, half of whom wanted her here and half who didn’t.

Sitting on the bed, she ran her hands through her long hair and sighed.  Look at the bright side, she told herself, at least with Katy not scouting, it would give her some time alone with Cort.   That was after all, what she had said she needed all along.  The biggest problem with this situation is that she didn’t know if he felt the same way about her, but enough time alone and she could find out.  If he didn’t return her feelings, well then, she could make a move from there.  

She looked at her phone which was sitting on a duffle bag at the bottom of the closet.  Without communications up, she wasn’t exactly sure what move there was to make.  No Meredith, no family, and nowhere to go.  There was a time in her life when she would have reveled in this situation, where it would have seemed like a huge adventure but now her body was just weary.  She rubbed the dog’s head and laid back on the bed.  There was almost no winning.

Chapter 14:  Cort

Deep Creek Lake, Western Maryland
December 19, 2012

“A storm is coming,” Annalise said in the late afternoon hours as they walked through the woods surrounding the house.  They had been walking for half an hour and neither of them had said very much.  He didn’t know if it was because of his outburst earlier in the day, or if it was because they were really alone together.  

“We should probably gather some extra wood while it’s dry,” she added, pointing to the branches on the ground.

Cort bent over and started to pick up some of the stray twigs on the path around them continuing to think.  They had been out at the house for just short of twenty days by now and so far the weather had been mild enough that they hadn’t had to worry about keeping warm besides adding a few extra blankets to the beds at night.  If Annalise was right, this might be the first test of their survivability in the area.