Abducted: Alien Mate Index Book 1: (Alien Warrior BBW Science Fiction Paranormal Romance) (The Alien Mate Index) (8 page)

I was nearly crossing my legs with the need to pee by now. I shouldn’t have had two cups of coffee that morning while my boss was throwing staplers at my head. God, that seemed about a million years ago now.

“By all means. Be my guest,” Al said politely. But he didn’t leave—his lantern-like eye just kept hovering there right in front of me, as if he expected me to go with him watching me.

“Al,” I said at last, my exasperation overcoming my embarrassment. “I don’t know how Sarden’s people do this kind of thing but for humans it’s
private.”

“Oh. Of course—forgive me.” His lantern light-eye flickered in acknowledgement. “Shall I withdraw to the next room and wait for you?”

“Actually…” I cleared my throat. “Actually, I’m really tired, like I said. After I, uh, take care of business, I’ll probably just go lie down for a nap. So you can help Sarden do…whatever it is he’s doing. I’ll be fine.”

“I see.” Was it my imagination or did he sound a little hurt? “You want privacy and solitude.”

“Something like that,” I said, gritting my teeth and crossing my legs. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings but I
really
had to go.
I swear, if he doesn’t leave soon…

Luckily, Al finally got the hint.

“Very well, Lady Zoe. I will check on you later. For now, I wish you a very pleasant waste elimination experience.”

“Thanks,” I said tightly. “I’m sure it’s going to be just
fabulous.”
God, I was about to
explode.

“Goodbye for now.” Al finally withdrew, his snaky metal neck sliding through the ceiling and away from the little alcove the strange alien toilet was located in.

The minute he was gone I pulled up the black t-shirt and plopped down on the flat bottom of the silver toilet-chair. At first nothing happened and I was afraid I would have to go pee in the sink or the mister or anyplace else that had a drain. But just as I was about to get up, I remembered the three silver buttons Al had pointed out for “suction needs.” One had a small dot on it, the second had a slightly larger one, and the third had a large black dot that filled almost the whole button.

At that point I had to go so bad I thought I was going to die. Without hesitating, I pushed the far button with the biggest dot, thinking that since I really had to go, that would be the right choice.

It was the wrong choice. The wrongest choice possible.

A hole in the seat of the silver toilet irised open and immediately an incredibly strong, cold wind started sucking at me. Remember how I said the toilet was big—like it was built for a species of people way bigger than human? Well, despite my much more than generous ass, the hole was plenty big enough to suck me in. And the suction was so strong, that was exactly what it started to do. I could actually feel myself folding in half like I was doing some kind of crazy bend in yoga class, and being sucked down into the wide hole in the silver toilet.

“Oh…Oh my God! No! Help!” I blurted, grabbing at the walls, since there was nothing else to hold on to. Was this the end? Was this how I died? Sucked down into the depths of an alien toilet and probably ejected into space? “Help!” I cried again.

“Lady Zoe?” Suddenly I heard Al’s voice right outside the alcove. “Are you quite well? Master Sarden heard a disturbance and sent me to check.”

I was about to scream that
no,
I was not well, I was about to be flushed like a used burrito, when my grasping hand happened to hit another one of the silver buttons—the one with the tiny dot on it.

At once the suction eased and I found I was able to extricate myself from the grip of the monstrous alien toilet. I stood up quickly, almost expecting to hear a
pop
like a cork coming out of a wine bottle. There was no such noise but at least I was free.

“I…I’m fine,” I lied shakily to Al, since I didn’t want to explain what had almost happened. Not to him and
especially
not to Sarden.

“Oh, good. I just wanted to warn you that you might not want to use the facilities set on the highest suction level just at the moment. When Master Sarden is working on the hydrogen scoop, it tends to send some of the ship’s functions into flux.”

“Now you tell me,” I muttered. And then louder, “Uh, thanks. I’ll be sure to only use the, uh, light suction for now.”

“Very good.” There was a nearly silent hum and I had a mental picture of Al gliding away again, his lantern-eye glowing as he went about his business.

I was left standing there, still having to pee. Because as strong as the suction had been a moment ago, I hadn’t let go of a drop. Probably because my body had immediately shut down ‘let’s pee now’ mode and gone into ‘let’s not get sucked into space through the toilet’ mode instead. So I still really had to go—but could I trust this thing a second time?

Mistrustfully, I eyed the toilet, which seemed perfectly normal now. It was sitting there peacefully, barely sucking at all. I wished I was back in the bathroom stall at Lauder, Lauder and Associates—it might be a lousy job but at least I knew I could take a pee break without getting killed. Still, this was what I had to deal with.

My screaming bladder decided me. I would go—I would just have to be really careful.

Gingerly, I sat down again, keeping as far to the front of the silver metal seat as I could. The suction was still slight—barely noticeable. It
seemed
safe enough—I decided to take a chance.

It took me a while to unclench but finally I was able to pee.
Ahhh…
I moaned in silent relief. There’s nothing to make a tense situation worse than having to pee. Ever sit in the dentist chair and realize you really have to go in the middle of a root canal? Well multiply that times a hundred and you’ll know how I felt being trapped on an alien spaceship going who knows where in the universe with a full bladder.

When I was finally finished, I wasn’t sure what to do. Was there another button somewhere to engage the, uh, cleaning mechanism for want of a better word?

As I was looking around, I felt something cold and damp come up from below and swipe at me. It felt like the Creature from the Black Lagoon had made a grab for my coochie.

“Ahh!” Though Al had warned me about the toilet’s cleaning function, I still nearly jumped out of my skin. I almost fell off the seat but just then the cold, damp thing retreated and I was buffeted by a blast of hot air instead.

Wow—Al hadn’t been kidding. I was clean and dry in no time. Clean and dry but
not
happy. The simple act of using the bathroom felt like an assault. I was pretty sure it was going to take me a while to get used to the whole process but it didn’t look like I had much of a choice.

I got up, straightening my t-shirt mini-dress as well as I could, and hobbled out of the bathroom, trying to ignore the giant purple vertical bathtub as I went. I might be stuck using the alien toilet but there was no way in hell I was going to take a bath in that drowning tank-looking thing. Just a glance at it made me shiver.

The huge silver beanbag was still hovering invitingly in mid air, about three feet off the ground. The scifi geek in me wanted to try it in the worst way. But I hadn’t maneuvered to have time alone just to lie around in bed. If I wanted to put plan A into action, I needed to find out as much about my captor as possible. After all, how could I make him see me like a person if I didn’t see him as one, or understand his motivations?

Cautiously, I moved towards the sliding metal bedroom door. It slid open obligingly when I broke the invisible beam and I found myself out in the long silver corridor again.

Okay,
I thought, eyeing the three other doors on the wall beside mine.
One of these has to be Sarden’s.
I hoped, anyway. And I also hoped it wasn’t locked.

Well, only one way to find out.

Going to the door directly beside mine, I reached forward to break the invisible beam that held it closed.

Sure enough, the door slid open. But disappointingly, I found the room was almost an exact duplicate of my own, right down to the floating silver bed, the chair toilet, and the tank of purple liquid for “personal cleansing.”

Okay, strike one. But I had to keep trying.

The next door opened into a storage area filled with all kinds of alien equipment I didn’t understand. I was about to leave when it occurred to me I might find something useful. Stepping inside, I scanned the shelves which seemed to be arranged in a haphazard fashion.

Most of the items just looked like tools or spare parts for the ship, which made me nervous. After all, Sarden was making repairs right now. What if he decided he needed something from this room and found me snooping around where I didn’t belong? Then again, he
had
told me I could look around the ship, as long as I stayed away from the storage area in the back, that was.

Still, I wasn’t seeing anything of interest and was about to leave when something caught my eye. It was a soft, blue glow, almost hidden by a pile of rusty metal pipes in the far corner of the room. Hoping that mysterious blue glow didn’t equal radioactive, I pushed some of the pipes aside—they were
heavy—
and found what looked like a pair of thick iron manacles.

They were kind of like handcuffs only the cuff part that went over the wrist was three inches long and
very
large—again like they were made for a species bigger than human. Well, Sarden was certainly that. I wondered if all the sentient species in the universe were. Maybe Earthlings were the runts of the litter. I’ve always been kind of height challenged so I’m used to being short but I was betting some of the macho guys back home would be in for an unpleasant shock if they found out.

I examined the manacles more closely. The glow was coming from a blue light, embedded in the length of silver chain that linked the thick cuffs together. I didn’t quite dare to touch it but I noticed it flickered when I lifted the manacles—which was
not
easy—they had to weigh twenty pounds at least. I wondered why someone had buried them under all these rusty pipes? Were they trying to hide them or was it just a mistake or an oversight?

Looking down at the heavy manacles and the equally heavy pipes, suddenly plan B formed in my brain. It was a hell of a lot more dangerous than plan A and I wasn’t sure I could pull it off. But it seemed like a good idea to have a backup plan in case my Reverse Stockholm thing failed completely. Which was entirely possible given that Sarden had been completely upfront about trading me away and didn’t seem likely to change his mind.

Holding the manacles against my belly to keep them from clinking, I chose a piece of rusty pipe that was about two feet long. It was thick, and comfortingly solid in my hand. I hefted it experimentally. Yeah, it was heavy enough to do the job, though just thinking of what I might have to do with it made my stomach feel like a flock of nervous butterflies had taken up residence there.

Well, whatever—I was committed now.

Sneaking back to my own room, I looked for a place to store my ill gotten goods. There was no nightstand, unfortunately and I couldn’t just leave them lying under the bed. Finally I just stashed them in a fold of the floating silver beanbag. Then I went back out to explore some more.

At first I thought Sarden’s room was just another guest room, like mine. It was bare of any personal touches and looked exactly the same except for a desk in one corner.

I walked over to it curiously. The top of the desk was completely clear—so at least my captor was neater than my old boss. Dayton Lauder the third always had messy stacks of half-finished paperwork everywhere. I thought longingly of the coffee-stained piles which I used to curse because it was my job to clean them up and try to organize them. What I wouldn’t give to be staring at my boss’s messy desk instead of this sterile, blank alien one.

I actually felt tears coming to my eyes before I got hold of myself.

Get a grip, Zoe,
I lectured myself.
Whining and moping aren’t going to get you home!
Taking a deep breath, I reached out to touch the desk. It was made of some kind of black, shiny material I thought must be glass or plastic at first but it felt warm—almost alive—under my fingertips.

I don’t know what I expected but the minute my fingers brushed the desk, it vibrated and came to life. Panels flipped over to reveal several long, feathery instruments about the size of pencils what I could only assume were alien office supplies. There were some thin, transparent sheets piled in stacks too and several other things I had no idea about. But what caught my eye was a clear, crystal cube sitting at the far end of the desk. It was about as big as a softball but square and its many faceted sides caught the dim light in the room and reflected rainbow patterns across the walls.

“Beautiful,” I murmured, reaching out to pick it up. Yeah, I know it was probably stupid but I have a weakness for pretty, shiny things.

I held the cube—which was surprisingly heavy—in one hand while I examined it from all sides. There seemed to be a smudge on one jewel-like surface but when I tried to wipe it off, the smudge grew until it was a picture.

A laughing young woman with smooth brown skin, long black hair and big golden cat eyes like Sarden’s suddenly filled the cube.

“Sardie!” she exclaimed as the picture came to life, playing like a video on my smartphone back home. “You’re incorrigible! Stop it—my hair is a mess!”

I heard the deep rumble of Sarden’s laugh, though I couldn’t see him. Presumably he’d been the one making the recording.

“You look fine, Sis—stop being so vain.”

“I am not vain—you are,
big brother
” she protested.

I frowned. So was this Sarden’s little sister? Her eyes were like his, sure enough, but her skin was brown instead of brick red and she didn’t have any horns. I frowned, trying to think how it could add up.

“I’m not vain,” came Sarden’s reply. “Got nothing to be vain about—ugly half-breed bastard that I am. But you’re beautiful and you know it.”

“Well…” She tossed her shiny hair and I had to agree with Sarden—she was gorgeous.

“Are you ready for your coronation?” he asked, still off camera—or off whatever it was he had used to record this.