Abiding Love (5 page)

He didn’t wait for her to do more than raise her perfectly arched eyebrows in that way doctors and commanding officers have of saying
Now, where did all that come from?

“Good day, Ms. Lexington,” he said as he stood and left abruptly, refusing to answer the unspoken question her expression asked. Because the truth was, all that about Mallory and Jerry came from a place of deep-seated hurt and disillusionment caused by Mallory’s affair with, and subsequent marriage to, Jerry Beecham. And it was a place he wasn’t sure he’d ever be ready to explore.

X
andra stood in the exercise ring at Laurel Glen Horse Farm, where her friend Elizabeth lived with her new husband, Jack Alton. Seated atop her gray Irish draught horse, Elizabeth’s blond hair shone in the sunshine. She looked radiantly happy after a two-week honeymoon and her first week back at home of what must be marital bliss. She was happier and more relaxed than Xandra had ever seen her.

“Elizabeth, are you sure your mother-in-law won’t mind me riding her horse?” Xandra asked, hesitant to mount the magnificent reddish-brown quarter horse that Jack had trained and given to his mother, Meg Taggert.

“Meg’s the most generous woman I’ve ever met. She’d lend him to you even if she were here to ride him, which she isn’t. You’re doing her and everyone here a favor. Fly Boy needs to be exercised while Meg’s on her cruise. And what is it going to take to
get you to call me Beth? I thought we’d become friends.”

“We have,
Beth
. I just forget, that’s all. You’ve been ‘that Elizabeth Boyer’ for most of my life,” Xandra said, smiling to take the sting out of the unfortunate truth.

Beth smiled back. “And now I’m Beth Alton, Jack Alton’s wife. I think the Elizabeth part of me died when I became a new person in Christ.”

Xandra nodded, knowing just how Beth felt. Almost lighter than air most of the time. She took a deep cleansing breath. “I love the way that sounds,” she told Beth. “‘A new person in Christ.’ Thanks to you, so am I.”

“No. Thanks to God’s grace and His Son’s sacrifice. All I did was allow myself to be His messenger, the way Jack and Meg were for me.”

“I know all that, but I could just as easily have shot the messenger—so to speak.”

“The way I hear my brother did with you?”

Xandra pulled a face and mounted. She squirmed a bit, partly because she wasn’t used to the western tack on Fly Boy and partly because she knew she’d blown it with Adam Boyer.

“So, have you seen much of your brother since he and Mark arrived?”

“Besides at the wedding, you mean? Sure. The day we got back from Ireland, Amelia and Ross Taggert threw us a little family welcome-home dinner. Adam and Mark came. And we saw them again last night,”
Beth said over her shoulder as she turned toward the gate one of the handlers held open for them.

Xandra moved up along next to her and through the gate. She couldn’t help wondering how father and son were getting along. “What do you think of the dynamics between them?”

“I’m afraid Adam has his hands full with Mark. It’s hard to watch. And sad. My brother isn’t happy and my nephew is miserable. It was obvious that first night we got back, so we decided to take dinner over last night, hoping maybe we could help. Knowing Adam rode as a boy, Jack invited them over for a ride, thinking they might find common ground.” Beth grimaced.

“They aren’t coming?”

Beth bent down and opened a gate to a long wide pasture. After they’d both passed through, she locked it again and brought Glory up next to Xandra. Her friend looked a bit troubled.

“Adam wasn’t very enthusiastic over the idea, but Mark certainly was.” She frowned, looking thoughtful. “But I’m afraid it was only that Mark saw Adam’s attitude toward riding and adopted the opposite one.”

“Why would your brother be so contrary? I seem to remember he took several junior championships.”

“Adam competed until he was about Mark’s age. But Father turned riding into constant practice and perpetual competition for him. It was like a job for Adam, not the joy it should have been.”

“He did the same thing to you, right?”

Beth nodded. “Adam threatened to start losing badly if Father didn’t let him quit eventing. Father was trying to build his own reputation as a coach then and he knew Adam meant what he said, so he gave up. But he also took away Adam’s horse and sold it. Adam acted as if he didn’t care, but I know he was upset over losing Lancelot. Apparently, he rarely got to ride just for enjoyment.”

“Where was your mother while all this was happening?”

“Oh, she was there. Until then Adam had been the rope in a subtle tug-of-war between our parents. She was thrilled Adam wasn’t riding anymore. She’d always pressured him about school and his grades.”

Xandra felt a little thrill that the lieutenant commander once hadn’t been so perfect in school himself. She smirked. “School problems?”

“Adam? Never. School was his refuge. That much I remember. My brother always had a book in his hand. Remember, I was only eleven when he left to join the Navy.”

Xandra thought of her life at eleven, and growing up with a brother like Jason. The subtle pinches under the table when she said something he didn’t like at dinner. The way he’d corner her and threaten to choke her if she screamed. She’d lived in terror of her brother until he was sent away when she was sixteen. Her own selfish exaltation that she was free even though it meant a younger girl had been hurt was not one of her finer moments.

But she was trying to make up for all that now.
Helping Beth’s nephew would go a long way toward easing her aching conscience.

“So things got better?”

Glory, Beth’s mount, sidestepped, bumping into Fly Boy. It took a moment to settle both horses. Xandra anxiously waited for an answer.

“All I knew at the time was that the battles between Adam and my parents stopped. Their relationships never recovered, though. I think the Navy represented freedom from our parents’ single-minded expectations for him. Adam wants so much more for his relationship with Mark than he had with our parents. That’s what makes this all so sad.”

Xandra grimaced. “I’m sorry life was so hard on him, but I confess I can sort of identify with Mark. Your brother is this larger-than-life figure, and I can’t seem to keep a conversation with him on target. I try to get my point across kindly, but it’s hard to be kind when…he…he makes me so nervous.”

Beth stopped and turned in her saddle. She stared at Xandra for a long probing moment. “Not all men are abusers. Strength can be controlled. And not all control is bad. One other thing I remember about my brother is his innate goodness. Even though he’s probably led a very violent life as a SEAL, I know in my heart that he isn’t someone you need to fear physically.”

Xandra shrugged. She was disturbed by how much she wanted to put stock in Beth’s memories of Adam. She herself had known the truth about her enormously popular brother’s hidden faults. But Adam had been
gone a long time and, as Beth had just admitted, he’d lived what must have been a violent life. That had to have left a mark on him.

“No offense, but your brother’s past is of no consequence to me. Mark is my only concern. For his sake I’ll be happy if Adam can be trusted, but I shouldn’t have that much to do with your brother. My interaction with any parent is minimal.”

“Still, you need to learn to trust your judgment again.”

“Your brother’s very angry and it makes me uncomfortable and unsure. I also left out that he annoys me and I don’t even know why. Between nerves and annoyance, every time we meet, I say the opposite of what I want to say. In the two conferences we’ve had, I didn’t just fail to say all I should have. Out of the blue he made me mad, and then, instead of continuing to cower like a ninny, I lost my patience altogether and said things I shouldn’t ever say to a student’s parent. Which, of course, made him mad. I’m just lucky he didn’t complain to Mr. Harper.”

Beth nodded and started her mount forward again. Once again Xandra kept pace with her.

“Something else I remember about Adam is that he fights his own battles. I don’t think life as a SEAL has changed that too much. He’d never go to your boss and endanger your job unless you hurt Mark, so I don’t see that happening.”

About ten minutes later when they topped a hill overlooking an imposing home, Beth pulled to a stop and pointed. “That’s Boyerton. I was so shocked
when Adam told me he was the one who’d bought it. The first question I asked was how on earth he could afford it.”

Xandra stared off into the distance at Boyerton and suppressed a shiver. She had never seen brick and gray stone look so cold and dour. No wonder Mark called it a mausoleum. Her first question would have been, why would Adam buy it? “Everyone wonders,” she said instead. “I’m sure he was paid well enough as a SEAL, but rumor has it your parents’ estate went for more than four million dollars.” Xandra grinned. “With that kind of money on the table, I just might enlist.”

Beth laughed. “Actually, it was four-point-two million. And Adam paid cash under the guise of a corporation he uses for investments.”

“You mean he hid his identity from your parents? Wouldn’t they have given him a better price if they knew it was him? Surely they wouldn’t still carry a grudge because he didn’t go to the college they wanted him to.”

“Don’t kid yourself,” Beth said. “My father would have refused to sell to him, unless, of course, he thought he could hit Adam up for money and still keep Boyerton.”

“I still think Navy life is looking pretty good—or at least lucrative.”

A look of pride took over Beth’s pretty features. “Mark isn’t the only Boyer who’s positively brilliant. Adam invented some sort of goggles the U.S. troops use for night warfare. One of the things he did with
the money the patents brought him was invest in the businesses retiring SEALs wanted to start.”

“I take it those were wise investments.”

Beth grew thoughtful. “Apparently, but I get the idea he didn’t do it for the money. Some of those men retired because they were injured. He wanted to make sure they had a good life and that their new dreams could come true.”

“What a shame he can’t give his son the same kind of break.”

Beth whistled. “He really has put a burr under your saddle.”

“There I go again.” Xandra groaned and squeezed the bridge of her nose. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I said that. I don’t even think he’s particularly hard on Mark. And I’m sure he wants Mark to succeed at whatever he chooses to do but…”

“You remind me of myself when I first met Jack.” Beth chuckled. “I’ll tell you all about our stormy beginning sometime. But right now I think you need a good hard ride to get rid of some of that tension. You’ll be sorry tomorrow, but tonight you’ll sleep like a baby. Race you to the barn!”

Xandra stared after Beth. Beth and Jack? There was absolutely no comparison between a newly wedded couple and Adam Boyer and herself. None at all. The very idea was preposterous!

Fly Boy took off into a full gallop, almost unseating her. It was a quarter horse trait that Jack Alton had warned her about. After a moment’s anxiety,
though, she found it exhilarating and laughed with sheer joy as they flew across the meadow.

This was living and she didn’t need or want a man in her life. She was happy and fulfilled just the way she was. Xandra turned her mind to the simple happiness that life was now. She had been thinking of buying a horse and boarding it at Laurel Glen. Now she was sure. And she’d found the breed she wanted. She would talk to Jack about it when they returned to the compound. She grinned. Her parents would be scandalized if she bought a working horse that used western tack and boarded it at Laurel Glen. But she gave a mental shrug. Their opinion was their problem. Their stand on her divorce had freed her of living her life to please them.

Freedom.

That’s what Beth had said the Navy had meant to Adam. The need for freedom from oppressive family expectations was something she could easily understand. Perhaps in that common thread they could find a common ground and unite to help his troubled son.

“Why didn’t you give me your report card yesterday, son?” Adam asked Mark on Saturday afternoon when he found it lying on the kitchen table.

“Didn’t think it mattered much.” Mark shrugged. “It looks like all the rest always have.”

Adam stared at Mark’s report card. How could the kid who was driving him so crazy, who slammed doors, tossed his dinner in the trash and stormed out of the house on an almost daily basis, and refused to
wear anything but clothes three sizes too big for him, bring home a perfect, model-student report card after only three weeks in the school system?

And why did his son’s accomplishment make him feel like such a failure?

After what he knew was too long a silence, Adam said, “You’re doing so well in school.” He hoped he’d kept the defeat out of his voice. “I’m proud of you, son. I wish you were still in kindergarten. I’d hang it on the fridge.”

A shadow crossed Mark’s face. “Did you do that? When you and Mom were still married, still happy? Were you ever around back then?”

“I was there as much as I could be. Actually, for every single report card that year till…”

“You left and then we left. What happened to the house? Was it on base?”

Adam would never forget that last hug he’d gotten as a full-time father. He had left for an exercise a father and had come back as something less. While he’d been gone, his wife had run off with some other guy. He hadn’t figured out who he was in Mark’s life until Alexandra Lexington told him in that last meeting they’d had.

“Dad?” Mark was frowning at him. “Don’t you even remember where we lived?”

“Of course I do. I loved that little house. We bought it because your mother didn’t want to live on base. She said she wasn’t in the Navy, I was. I sold it and sent her the proceeds. Buying it was her idea. I wanted you to have the benefits.” To start your new
life with another man as your father. “Why do you ask?” he asked carefully, trying to keep his building anger under wraps.

Mark stood up and looked over at the blank slate of the refrigerator. His expression was even more vacant and far away. Adam was just about to go over and tack up the computerized sheet—the new-millennium version of a report card—that showed Mark as the top-ranked student in his grade, when Mark said, “I missed my room, so Mom found me the same wallpaper when she married Jerry.”

Knife to the heart! His son had missed his wallpaper. Not his father. Message received loud and clear. Saint Mallory had saved the day and he’d been…replaceable. By another man. By familiar wallpaper.