Absence of Grace (36 page)

Q: Did you love your mom, Hailey?

A: Yes.

Q: Do you love your daddy?

A: Yes.

Q: No more questions, Your Honor.

“When I read that, I was furious,” Hailey said, nodding toward the pages he was holding. “I thought, what was Dillon thinking, putting a ten-year-old child on the witness stand. For what? I added nothing of substance. Nothing. The prosecutor didn’t even bother to object when I told the jury what my mom said.”

“I’m sure Mr. Dillon did it to remind the jury you existed and would be affected by their verdict.”

“Clearly. And just as clear, I failed to be pitiful enough. You know, I cried myself to sleep for months afterwards, thinking I’d said something that hurt my dad, and I’ve hauled around a feeling of guilt ever since, all for nothing. He’s guilty, isn’t he?”

“I’d need to read the entire transcript before I could give you an opinion. But from the parts you’ve shown me, there are some loose ends. What do you remember about that day?”

“All I remember is getting called out of class. Aunt Iris, Mom’s sister, was waiting for me in the office. She told me Mom was in the hospital. But once we were in the car she told me the truth.” Hailey stopped, gulped. “After that, everything is confused. Lots of comings and goings. Clusters of people talking in whispers and shutting up if they noticed me watching them.”

“What about your brother? Where was he through all this?”

Hailey frowned. “I don’t think Adam was around until later, but I don’t really remember.”

“Did the police ever ask you any questions?”

She shook her head. “No. Adam and I went home with Iris the night it happened, and we stayed a couple of days. Until the funeral. Then we went back to our apartment.”

“Was Adam questioned later?”

“Not that I remember.”

“Did you and he ever talk about that day?”

“No. Why are you asking so many questions about Adam?”

“In the interview with the police, your dad said Adam got home from school before your mom was shot. So did you and Adam come home at different times?”

Hailey sat, chewing on her lip and slipping the rings off and on her fingers. “No. That’s not right. We got out at the same time. And we didn’t usually get home until after Mom left for work.”

Gerrum picked up the pages, looking for the interview Hailey’s father gave the police that he’d read on a previous visit. “Here. The way your dad tells it, he and your mom just finished lunch and she was getting dressed for work when Adam got home.”

“He must have been suspended or maybe he skipped school. That happened a lot when he was older.” She sat frowning over her thoughts and Gerrum waited to see what else she remembered.

“I thought I’d read the transcript and find all the answers. Instead it just feels more mysterious.”

“Have you thought about talking to your dad?”

“I don’t know if I can.”

“It took guts for you to revisit this. It might be easier to put it behind you if you have the whole story.”

“If I ask him about it, he might lie.”

“You’re smarter than he is. I think you’d recognize what was true.”

He left her then, certain she was coping with what she’d learned, but he came home to questions from Clen that forced him to balance between his need to be open with her and his promise to keep private matters private.

It was one of the most uncomfortable positions he’d ever been in.

Clen left for the lodge to start dinner, and Gerrum sat down to finish reading the newspaper before going to the harbor. There was a knock on the door and when he opened it, Hailey flung herself across the threshold and into his arms. He nudged the door shut and stood in his front hall holding her while she sobbed incoherently. When she was calm, he led her to the kitchen and made tea.

“I figured it out, Gerrum. What’s wrong with Dad’s picture. He smoked. And he always had a pack of cigarettes tucked in his sleeve.”

“The police could have taken them away before they took the photo.”

“But it was taken in our apartment, and I remembered something else. The shirt he was wearing. It was Adam’s.”

“You think Adam shot your mom?”

“I don’t know. But he had terrible nightmares. He’d wake up screaming, with his hands over his ears. And he acted funny about guns. Grammie had a twenty-two she used to shoot at foxes. Adam refused to touch it. And he was so...angry all the time. I just thought...oh, I don’t know what I thought.” She bit her lip, looking frustrated. “Sally said he was trying to beat a train at a crossing, but I think it may have been suicide.” Hailey’s eyes once again filled with tears. “I don’t understand anything. Maybe Dad didn’t do it. Maybe he’s innocent. But if he didn’t do it, it means Adam did.”

“Maybe it was an accident. Remember your dad saying the gun needed to be cocked, and being shocked that it didn’t?”

“He left the gun right by the bed. Who leaves a loaded gun laying around when they have kids?”

“You told me he isn’t very smart, Hailey. Maybe that’s why.”

Eventually, Hailey left, and not two minutes later, Terry called. “Gerr, real sorry to do this to you, but I got to dump a trip on you. I’m supposed to be at the harbor, meeting the clients, matter of fact. But Jenny’s water just broke. We’re on the way to the hospital soon as she gets her bag packed. Clients are good ones. Brothers. They like the area around Thorne Bay. Booked for two days. Names are...yeah, hon, give me a minute here...”

“That’s okay. I’ve got it. You take care of Jenny.”

“Thanks, Gerr. Make it up to you once the little guy gets here.”

“Just go.”

Gerrum grabbed his own kit and a change of clothes. On the way to the marina, he stopped at the lodge to tell Clen what was happening. When no one responded to his hello, he scribbled a quick note and left it on the counter.

The first thing he did after returning from that trip was to stop at the lodge to see Clen. He found John and Marian working on dinner.

“Hey, where’s Clen?”

“She had to go home. Her mom’s in the hospital.” John dried his hands on a towel. “Here’s the number where she can be reached.” He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket. “I expect she’s probably called and left you a message by now telling you what’s happening.”

“We heard about the baby,” Marian said. “They finally had a boy. Terry’s ecstatic.”

“Yeah. I better get cleaned up.” He backed through the screen door which he was careful not to bang, because Marian hated when it banged. Walking to his house, knowing he wouldn’t be seeing Clen, it felt like he was carrying something much heavier than an overnight bag.

He went directly to the phone to check his messages. There was only one—Marian from two days ago saying Clen wasn’t feeling well and went to lie down.

How could there be no message from Clen? Maybe she didn’t have time before she left, but by now she would have. Feeling uneasy, he dialed the number Clen left with the Jeffers.

“Could I speak to Clen please?”

“Clen? Oh, you mean Michelle. I don’t know why she insists on that name.”

“Could I speak to Michelle, then.”

“I’m afraid she isn’t here.”

“Will she be back soon?”

“Now why would you think that? Michelle hasn’t been home in over a year.”

“Mrs. McClendon?”

“Yes. And you are?”

“You aren’t sick?”

“Excuse me?”

He took a deep breath. “Clen, that is Michelle, is a friend of mine. Two days ago she left Wrangell, suddenly. To go home because her mother was in the hospital.”

“How odd. I’m perfectly fine.”

“Do you have any idea where she might be?”

“What did you say your name was?”

“Gerrum Kirsey.”

“Oh yes. I believe Michelle has mentioned you. You’re the author?”

“That’s right. About Clen? I mean Michelle. Do you know where she is?”

“I suppose she could be at the abbey. She seemed so attached to it, we were beginning to think she might become a nun.”

“Could you tell me the abbey’s name and location?”

“Let me see. It’s on the tip of my tongue. Oh, I know...Resurrection, that’s it. It’s somewhere in Vermont. Or she may be visiting her brother. Just like her not to tell us her plans.”

He got the brother’s number and gave Mrs. McClendon his number and asked her to call if she heard from Clen. The brother, Jason, didn’t answer his phone, and he still wasn’t answering in the morning. Frustrated and beginning to feel deeply worried, Gerrum filled the time between attempted calls with a trip downtown to pick up groceries.

Outside the IGA, he encountered Maude, who reached out a pudgy hand to grab his sleeve. “I heard Clen left. Is it true?”

He stared at the hand crumpling his shirt without permission until, with a sniff, she released him. “Well, all I can say is, it serves you right, Gerrum Kirsey.”

What did?

“Don’t you try that innocent act with me. I seen what you and Hailey was up to.”

Maude in full cry, going after the dirt, like one of those dogs, some kind of terrier, weren’t they? The ones that dig out badgers. Maude badgering. Then she and her cohorts would morph into hyenas, chewing on the bones of everybody’s lives.

He’d always laughed Maude off, but not this time. “What is it you thought you saw Hailey and me up to?” His teeth were gritted, chopping the words into tight, brittle bits.

Maude took a half step away.

“What did you do?”

Maude shook her head, preening like a ratty old hen. “Well I never. I didn’t do nothing. Just made sure Clen knew what you were doing. Seems to me a man ought to stick with one woman at a time, and I’m sure Clen agrees with me. Not that you and she aren’t already a scandal.”