Accent Hussy (It Had 2 B U) (26 page)

I chuckle when I finally put down my phone. The girls are going to be here any minute. I shouldn’t be texting on my phone when I’m supposed to be watching them.

Caleb enters the room and sees me standing by the jump ropes. He starts to walk over towards me when my girls dash past him, saying hi as they run by and swarm me. I’m dog-piled to the floor as seven pint-sized girls knock me to the ground.

“Everly, guess what!” NJ exclaims.

“What?” I look over her head and see Caleb watching me. I know he wants to talk to me, and thankfully, the girls saved me from that. He may be a little unprofessional at times when other staff members are around, but he’s never once been a douchebag when children are present. Eventually he gives up and walks out of the gym.

“I passed my math test. I did my fractions just like you said! It worked. My daddy was proud of me!”

I’ve been working with NJ on her fractions. She’s in the fourth grade and even though they are the easy ones, she’s been having trouble learning them.

“Well, how could he not? You’re amazing!”

Her smile is so big that it’s hard to see anything but teeth. Just seeing it makes me smile, too.

The girls begin to jump rope. I notice Hopscotch is sitting off by herself again. Today, her clothes are full of holes again, she looks really cold. I walk over to sit next to her on the bench.

“Hey, Hopscotch. What’s up?”

“Nuthinmuch,” she says combining her words. Her shoes are unbuckled, so I drop to a knee to help her with them. The minute I touch her, she flinches.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, thank you. I can do em’ by myself, Miss Everly. No need to help me.”

“But I want to. Do you have any brothers or sisters, Hopscotch?”

She shakes her head. “Not really.”

“Well, I have an older brother; he’s smelly. His name is Max.”

“Is he nice to you?”

“Sometimes, but I can be just as mean to him as he is to me. That’s what little sisters are for.”

“If I ever had a brother or sister, I would make sure to prosect them.”

“Protect?”

“Yeah, that’s what I said. Prosect. From the bad people.”

“What bad people?”

She looks over my shoulder and freezes. That creepy janitor guy is staring at us—well, her. She doesn’t answer me.

“Hopscotch, what bad people?”

“Nuthin, never mind. Thanks, Miss Everly.” She jumps off the bench and runs over to the other girls, cowering behind NJ for support. NJ whispers something to her, but Hopscotch only shakes her head in reluctance.

I wonder what’s going on with that little girl. It’s time to start snooping.

After work, I gussy up and change into my best bar outfit. A hot skimpy black dress and classic red pumps. It’s been entirely too long since I’ve had a good time. Who am I kidding? It’s been a long time since I’ve had satisfying dick. Maybe I’ll get lucky tonight and meet a handsome foreigner I can go home with. We can have sex, make cute little babies with accents and live happily ever after! Yeah right! Like that’s worked for me in the last eleven relationships I’ve had.

Maggie, Breezy, and Emma are waiting for me at our usual booth. We don’t get to hang out as much as I would like, especially after my accident, but the times we do get together always end up being a blast.

“God a girl could lose five pounds waiting for you to arrive, Everly. I was swatting off men left and right.” Maggie bats her curly brown hair and grins. She’s lost a lot of weight since the first time I met her. She’s not as round as she used to be, but you can still see the chunkiness in her figure. She’s adorable. It’s no surprise that Dashawn is always all over her.

“Sorry, Mags, where’s your Chocolate God?”

“With Max and Tony. Boys night.”

“Then who has Braxy?” I ask, turning to Breezy.

She smiles. “Mom and dad have him. They said we needed to get out of the house. I’m so thankful that they offered. Max was beginning to get a little stir crazy.”

“Max is crazy period. That boy should be locked in a loony bin. I’m not sure where he got short changed in our gene pool. I, of course, got all the best traits.” I curl a wisp of black hair around my finger and laugh.

A waitress brings over a round of drinks and sets them on the table. Mimosas, our favorite. “We didn’t order anything,” Maggie tells her.

“It’s from the gentleman at the bar.” A decrepit man sits at the bar watching us. His sagging face pulls into a creepy smile when we all turn to look at him.

“Fuck, that man is going to be my next baby daddy,” Maggie announces. “I’d ride that wrinkled pogo stick all around the bedroom.”

The man spits out his beer causing us all to giggle. Maggie, of course, is going over the top for attention. I’ve realized that’s her thing.

When the man gets up to walk over to us, she waves him off. “I was just kidding. I gave up wrinkled pogo sticks last week, but thanks for the drinks.” The man frowns and goes back to the bar.

“You’re so mean, Maggie. I bet he’s a good piece of ass,” I joke. “They say older men are more experienced.”

“You’re the single one, Everly. Why don’t you take him home and find out,” Maggie counters.

“Get enough drinks in me and I might do just that!”

“Gross,” the other three say at the same time.

“So why the Ho signal, Everly. What’s going on?” Breezy asks. She unfortunately is still breast feeding and puts her Mimosa to the side.

“I dunno. You all know my situation, right? The serving my community service at Youth Center thing.”

“With that hot piece of ass you can’t stop tapping,” Maggie interjects. “Yes, we know,” she laughs.

“Anyway, he’s starting to date this bitch at my work, and I dunno, it makes me so . . .”

“Jealous,” says Breezy.

“Horny,” Emma pipes in.

“Angry,” Maggie finishes.

“Yes, all that. He invited her to this upcoming boxing match he has in Las Vegas. He bought tickets for the whole staff to go. It’s a weekend thing. I’m not sure why I even care, but I do. He asked her to this big fancy dinner, and all I could think about was finding an ice pick and deflating her fake ass boobs.”

Emma makes a sound of appall. She covers her breasts and glares at me.

“Sorry, Emma, if it makes you feel any better, yours look a lot better than hers. Hers look like damn boulders.”

“It’s okay. The thought of anyone busting my boobs makes my chest hurt. I paid good money for these things.”

“Sounds like you’re in love, Everly. You have feelings for this man, and seeing him with another woman makes you crazy jealous,” Breezy says calmly.

“I so
do not
love him. I hate him. I hate Caleb Conaway!” I shout, downing my entire drink.

“Right, that’s why you just clenched your thighs when you said his name. Your pussy does involuntary Kegels whenever you mention him. Face it, Everly, both you and your pussy have it bad for the hot fighter. You want him to speedbag your tits, and punch thrust your vagina with jabs and left hooks.”

I can feel the blush before it takes over my face. My whole body is warm with the memories of just how good Caleb’s dick really is with my pussy.

“She’s blushing; it’s so cute when she pretends not to like him. Reminds me of our dear little Breezy, and her denial of that magnificent chemistry between her and her husband. It’s the same with you, Everly. You’re denying the sparks between you and the sexy fighter.”

“I’m not denying that I’m attracted to him or the fact that his penis might as well be bronzed and hung up on my wall. I just don’t think he’s the right person for me.”

“Are we back on the accent thing again? Please tell me you aren’t holding out for someone with an accent. Everly, let me tick down the reasons why accents haven’t worked for you. You let a guy talk you into taking the fall for him and got yourself a record just because he talked like a fucking leprechaun. I love you to death, but Dearie, you are blinder than a girl with come in her eyes. You might as well have your eyes glued shut with jizz.”

“Oh my god, you’re so disgusting,” I say laughing.

“What, it’s true. Emma, tell them about the jizz incident.”

“I’d rather not,” Emma says, turning red.

“Oh come on, it’s priceless.”

“No,” Emma says quietly.

“Fine, I’ll tell it then. I’m a way better storyteller anyway. I talk with my arms and do shadow puppets. So there was this guy that Emma was seeing, who had a blowjob fetish. One day, she got all dressed up and went with him to this big gala. She went all out. Loads of makeup, pretty black dress, fuck me heels, and fake lashes. Key to this story is fake lashes. Remember that. Anyway, long story short, Mr. BJ fetish was getting a major dick swabbing from my beautiful cousin over here and was getting close. Without warning, he pulled out of her mouth and blew his wad all over her damn face. Which is fine . . . they’ve got towels for that shit. Unfortunately, chickadee here had her damn eyes open! Poor girl not only got her retinas burned by jizz, those precious fake eyelashes got stuck together. Between the glue, jizz, and fake eyelashes, she ended up going to the ER and had to explain what happened. The doctors still can’t explain why the glue and jizz fused together the way it did. Poor girl runs screaming anytime she sees fake eyelashes in the Halloween store now.”

“They’re evil. Like Chinese finger traps that you can’t get apart. Only they’re attached to your eyes. I’m telling you they are pure evil,” Emma shudders.

She looks completely mortified. Watching her facial expressions while Maggie told the story was downright hilarious. All of us laughed, including Emma. Maybe the girl is finally warming up to me.

“I tried fake lashes once; I ended up with a unibrow for an entire date because I didn’t realize it moved from my eye lashes to my forehead. Sad part was, the guy was Romanian. Women from his country have unibrows all the time. He thought it was normal,” I tell them hoping, to help Emma not be as embarrassed.

“Is there any nationality you haven’t been with?” Maggie asks, completely enthralled.

“A couple. Not many though,” I wink at her.

“So what’s the plan girls? Are we going to keep having the wrinkled pogo stick buy our drinks, or are we actually going to find some sexy hotness to fill our glasses?” Maggie looks around the room and then freezes. The smile on her face fades, and she starts slouching in her seat.

“Oh shit,” she whispers.

“What’s wrong, Maggie?” Emma asks.

“Cliff is here.”

“Fuck,” Emma hisses.

“Fuck is right. Big fuck! I should go. He hasn’t seen me yet.”

“What’s going on?” Breezy asks.

“Maggie’s ex is here. He’s a dick and a controlling bastard with a food fetish.”

“He’s a chef who likes to smear food all over people’s bodies and feed them until they almost puke. He gets his jollies off dating fat girls. He’s a god-damn chubby chaser. He’s also my ex fiancée; I was supposed to marry him.”

“What happened?” I ask.

“I really don’t want to talk about it,” Maggie grumbles, slinking down even further in her seat. She looks straight up petrified.

“He’s bad news,” Emma states. Maggie eyes Breezy’s untouched drink and downs it right after she slams hers.

“He’s a fucktard. You don’t have to leave Maggie. Show him exactly what he’s missing,” I tell her.

Maggie doesn’t say anything. She’s practically under the table. I glance over at her ex. I’m surprised by how incredibly gorgeous he is. He’s not Dashawn hot, but definitely sexy in that rugged man way. He’s incredibly tall, like lumberjack tall with a neatly kept beard and auburn hair. He’s sitting at the bar with a group of guys. They definitely notice our group, but he hasn’t noticed Maggie. He makes eye contact with me, winks, and then his head swivels through the group until he sees Maggie—that’s when his smile spreads and makes my skin crawl. He gets up from the stool he’s perched on and makes his way over to us.

“Maggie, is that you?” When she hears his voice, it’s like her whole body tenses. She’s frozen like a statue.

“Emma you’re looking
nice
, tonight.” He clips the word “nice” and they have a silent stare off before refocusing his attention to Maggie. “What’s it been, Maggie? Ten months? Eleven?”

“Two years,” Maggie answers.

“How could I forget? Yes, it has been two years. Two years since you broke my heart. Two years since I last touched your body. Two years of loneliness,” he laughs. I can’t tell if this is him being serious or being a sarcastic asshole.

Emma scoffs. “Please, the only thing you miss is controlling her.”

He darts an evil glare Emma’s way. I have to admit the way she’s dominating this conversation really has me changing my mind about her. Maybe she’s not so bad after all.

“It must be fate that brought us together again. I just opened a restaurant around the corner. You should come in sometime; I named a dessert after you. The Little Piggy.”

Fucking asshole
. I can’t believe he just said that to her.

“It has all your favorite foods in it,” he smirks.

“How sweet, now buzz off jackass,” I seethe.

“Is that what you want, Maggie? For me to leave?” The way her ex looks at her makes me want to protect her. He’s claiming her with his eyes, dominating her with every word he speaks. I like it when Caleb dominates me, but it’s nothing like this. This is straight up abusive.

“Yes,” she whispers.

His hands come down angrily on to the table, making her jump and others turn to look our way. He brings his face so close to hers that he has to lean over the entire table. I eye a fork to my left and contemplate stabbing him in the temple. I’m already in trouble with the law, but I’m ready to do jail time to save my friend. She’s practically in tears, and it’s breaking my heart. This girl, the carefree, happy one I’ve come to love, is unraveling and it’s all because of her ex.

“Did you tell them how good I loved you? Remember how I used to pleasure each pound on your body. I accepted your fat beauty. I’m the one who loves you, Maggie. You may have lost some weight, but deep down, you will always be my Little Piggy.”

“That’s enough, Asshole. Say one more word to her and I’m going to stab you with my fucking fork. You need to leave.”

He looks over at me and winks. “I bet I could fatten you right up. You might actually be pretty with a little meat on your bones.”

I grab the fork from the table, but Emma stops my hand just before I jab at him.

“That’s enough, Cliff. Leave Maggie alone!” Emma commands.

Cliff’s spine straightens. “Yes, Madam.”

“We aren’t done, Little Piggy. You’ll be seeing me again,” he laughs maniacally and pushes off the table.

Maggie is in tears, causing him to grin like the Cheshire Cat. He abruptly turns and heads back to the bar with his friends.

“I need to go,” Maggie suddenly yells, jumping up from the table.

“Maggie, wait!” Breezy screams after her. Maggie is gone before we even have time to react. “I’m texting Dashawn. I drove her here, so, I’m gonna go after her and take her home,” she tells us.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Emma grumbles. She gets up from the table and marches over to Cliff. I can’t hear what she is saying to him, but his demeanor changes immediately. After a few minutes, she comes back to the table with two more drinks, hands one to me, and downs hers.

“Fucking men, they aren’t fit to lick our shoes.”

“What about Tony?”

Her eyes flick over to me and she smiles. “Tony is different. I’ve never met a man like him before.”

“He’s a jackass,” I tell her. Guilt warms my cheeks. Here I am talking shit about her boyfriend, when just last summer I was riding his dick.