Accent Hussy (It Had 2 B U) (29 page)

Caleb insisted on driving Holly and me home. Not that I had much of a choice. Without a license, the only thing I can do is bum rides off people or ride the bus.

It’s eleven P.M. and by the time we pull up to my house, Holly is fast asleep in the back of Caleb’s Lexus. He parks in my driveway and turns off the car before turning towards me. “This is pretty great of you, Everly. Not many people would be willing to take a little girl in like this. I’m impressed.”

I smile at him and shake my head. “You would’ve done the same thing if you were in my shoes. Nobody should ever hurt a kid. I’m still raging over the animals that hurt Holly.” His hand comes down on my lap and he squeezes my knee.

“You’re going to have to keep that strong head of yours intact. Holly is a great kid, but you have to remember all of the things you’re going to have to deal with now. Not only are you going to have court dates and meetings with child protective services, but you’re going to have to work with whatever emotional and physical damage she has. A girl like Holly, who’s been through stuff like this, is bound to have some kind of repercussions.”

“What do you mean?” I stare into Caleb’s deep blue eyes and get lost in them. He smiles when he notices how attentively I’m staring at him. The side of his mouth quirks just a smidgeon. His hand reaches up and he cups the side of my face. I lean into him, making him smile even more.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers.

My eyes close as his finger traces the swell of my cheek. Caleb confuses the crap out of me. One minute I hate him, the next I want to kiss him. There are times I want to strangle him, but then I want him to throw me against the wall and take me again. Sex is amazing with Caleb. I haven’t been the same since Vegas, yet I’m afraid to let him in. I’m not sure why being with Caleb scares me so much, but it does. I pull away from his grasp and open my eyes. He’s entirely too close to my face. If I moved forward two inches, we would be kissing.

“Kiss me,” he says.

It’s not like his usual orders that both piss me off and turn me on. This plea is desperate, as if he needs me just as much as I need him. Something changed between us today. I don’t know how to describe the difference inside me. All I know is that when I hear Caleb talk, now it’s not so bad. I kinda like the husky growl to his voice, and being near him doesn’t make me want to vomit anymore. Part of me wants to lean in and kiss him, but then there’s that nagging voice in the back of my mind telling me that he’s not worth the trouble. Even though I feel different towards Caleb, I know that kissing him is out of the question. I’m not going to compete with Kristene for his affection or any other girl for that matter. I’ve got a new responsibility to be worried about, and the last thing I need in my life is a relationship taking away the focus I need on the little girl sound asleep in the back.

I put my hand on the handle and smile at him. “Goodnight Caleb, thanks for being there today. I really do appreciate it. I know Holly does, too.”

“Everly, wait.” He scrambles to get out of the car, but he’s having difficulties removing his seat belt. I’m already in the back seat picking up Holly before he manages to get out of the car. “Please, we should talk about us.”

“There’s nothing to talk about, Caleb. I’ve told you before that I’m not going to date you. I have a little girl I need to focus on, and I don’t need you messing that up for me.”

“I can help you with her. We can do this together. You know, like a family?”

“I don’t understand you, Caleb. One minute you’re prince charming, the next you’re an alpha asshole who tries to bully his way into getting what he wants. Then you’re back to being sweet and caring again. Which is the real you, Caleb? Are you a womanizing asshole who makes out with other women in his office? Or are you the sweet and amazing man that you were most of the day today? This bipolar shit is getting old fast.” I have my arms around Holly. She whimpers in my arm and starts thrashing about.

“No don’t touch me, it hurts!” She screams.

“Shhh, it’s okay Holly. You’re with me; no one is going to hurt you.” I whisper into her ear. She settles in my arms. I flash Caleb a defeated look.

“I don’t have time for a relationship, Caleb. Go ahead and keep dating Kristene. She wants to be with you anyway. Stop wasting your time on me. I don’t want to be with you. We just aren’t meant to be together.”

“You’re wrong. You know that you and I have something. What we have is special. It was love at first sight for both of us. I recognized it right away. I’ve never been this consumed by a woman. I’ve only been hanging out with Kristene to get under your skin. I can’t stop thinking about you, Everly. Everything about you is what I need. I think you’re just afraid of how I make you feel. When we’re together, it’s perfection. When we’re apart, we’re miserable. I need you, Everly, and you need me—especially now with Holly. I could help you financially. Together, we could raise her and be the best foster parents, I just know it.” His blue eyes shine with hope. Everything he’s saying sounds wonderful, but I want to do this on my own. I don’t need his help.

“Goodnight, Caleb.”

“Everly, come on. Please think about it, okay?”

“There’s nothing to think about. Our conversation is done. Please leave me alone.”

I watch his face go from hopeful, to upset, to angry in two seconds. His brow arches and he throws up his hands. “Fine. I’m done with this shit. You want to act like a crazy person and deny what we have; then by all means, be stupid.”

“I’m not stupid!” I shout after him. He marches to his car, opens the door, and peels out of my driveway. I don’t understand why he’s so hell- bent on being together. I wish he would just give up on the whole thing.

I may have been confused this morning, but right now, my head is completely clear. I don’t need to be with anyone. There isn’t a man out there that will ever compare to the love I’m already feeling for Holly. In just a short few months, this little girl has wormed her way into my heart. They all have. From this day forward, until my last dying breath, I vow to never let another accent influence my train of thought. My life is devoted to one person and one person only.

Holly.

The next morning when Holly wakes up, she’s crying. I did my best to soothe her. She told me stories, bad ones, ones that even thinking about now, make my stomach turn. I found out it wasn’t just the two men that Holly had told us about that hurt her. Mr. Peterson had a slew of men who paid him to touch Holly. She wasn’t the only foster kid being abused in the home, but unfortunately because she was the smallest, Holly got the worst of it. The sheer amount of pedophiles in the area makes my skin crawl. I want to find each one and burn them at the stake. I realize they aren’t witches, but shit, any person capable of that kind of abuse needs to die, slowly, and in pain.

This is probably how most mornings are going to be—her waking up screaming, and me helping her work through it.

She ended up sleeping in my room last night, after I gave her a bath and combed through the thousands of tangles that ratted up her hair. Luckily, she didn’t have head lice. I heard that kids can spread head lice really easily. Holly was lucky enough not to inherit that problem.

My mother went out and bought her a whole new wardrobe after I called. Instantly, my parents were in love with Holly, just like I knew they would be. My mother bought bows for her hair, a giant stuffed elephant, and even sparkly shoes that looked like they belonged in OZ. Holly was overwhelmed. She told us she didn’t deserve our kindness; we made sure she knew otherwise.

My mother kept Holly home with her. With everything that happened at The Youth Center yesterday, the last thing I wanted to do was have people look at her strangely. I, unfortunately, had to work—both jobs. By the time I got to The Youth Center at one, I was exhausted.

“How’s Holly?” Trisha asks me when I walk by her office.

“Good. Frightened, scared, traumatized, but she’s safe now and that is all that matters.”

Trisha nods her head. “I wish we could save them all. Holly got lucky. You were a miracle sent to us, Everly. If it wasn’t for you that little girl would probably be missing or dead. Now she has a chance, and she has you to thank for it.”

Tears form in my eyes again and I wipe them away, nodding in agreement. “Is Mr. C. here?”

“He is. You can go in if you want.”

I don’t even answer her; I just walk to his office and knock softly. When he doesn’t answer right away, I knock again. This time, he opens the door.

“What do you want?” he grumbles, fidgeting with his tie.

“I just want to say thank you. Not just from me, but from Holly as well. Thank you for believing me and for believing her. Just thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me, Everly. Seeing that little girl safe is all that matters to me.”

We share an awkward stare before he clears his throat. “I’m uh, late for a meeting, so if that’s all you needed to say, I should probably get going.”

“Yeah sure, I don’t want to keep you.” The words mean way more than a friendly goodbye. I can tell just by the way his face falls after I say them. To Caleb, this is the end, the game is over, and the neither of us has won anything. Stalemate.

“Goodbye, Everly. I’ll see you around.”

“Goodbye, Mr. C.” I’m not sure why I use his business name. He shakes his head as he pushes past me and doesn’t even look back, not once.

The rest of the day, Caleb is nowhere to be found. I won’t give the girls in my group details about Hopscotch. I only tell them that she’s staying with me and will be back as soon as she’s feeling better.

When I’m leaving for the day, I notice NJ is still hanging around. She’s in the lobby, sitting in a chair, swinging her feet. She smiles when I sit next to her. “Aren’t you going home, NJ?”

She shakes her head, tears falling from her eyes. “My mommy isn’t doing so well. I don’t want to be a bother.”

“You’re not a bother. I bet you’re a big help around the house.”

“Not really,” she states sadly. “Nobody lets me do nothing.”

I put my arm around her shoulders and gently squeeze her. “It’s getting dark. You shouldn’t be walking home in the dark.” As I say that, a very tall, athletic man comes running through the door. He looks frantic; when his eyes finally fall on NJ. He looks angry, but very relieved.

“Norma Jean, you were supposed to be home hours ago. Why are you still here?” he asks.

She opens her mouth to speak, but I take her hand and pat it, speaking for her.

I stick out my hand and he takes it, shaking it limply. “Hi, I’m Everly McGowan, I work with NJ here at The Youth Center.”

“Alex, I’m NJ’s father.”

“Very nice to meet you, Alex. I was just about to walk NJ home. She was telling me that her mother isn’t doing very well. I’m sorry to hear that.”

Alex looks almost broken. He looks over at NJ and sighs. “Miss McGowan, my wife has been dead for three years. It’s just me and her brother and sister now. I’m not sure why my daughter would lie about her mother, but I can assure you, she will be reprimanded for it when we get home.”

“Sir, with all due respect, I don’t think she said it maliciously. Can I speak to you for a minute in private?”

NJ looks up at me and I shake off the tears in her eyes. Anymore crying girls and I’m done for. I pull her father over near the front desk and cross my arms.

“First of all, that little girl loves you very dearly. I only hear the best things about you, but I do not hear nice things about her brother and sister. They pick on her; it’s made NJ starved for attention. In fact, when I first met your daughter, she was a bully—one that most people didn’t get along with. She liked to swear a lot and make people feel like shit by insulting them. We’re working on that. She’s getting better.” Alex watches me attentively. “Long story short, I think she lied about her mother being alive for sympathy, because somehow, telling people her mother is sick gets her a lot more attention than telling them her mother has passed away. If that makes any sense.”

“It does. When her mother passed away, the whole family doted on Norma Jean. She got whatever she wanted, but the more she grew, the less attention she received. This is mostly my fault. My other kids are teenagers. I left them in charge of Norma Jean, thinking that they could handle it.”

He has tears in his eyes. It’s hard watching a grown man break down, but with Holly recently coming into my life, I do realize how special children are and what they need from us.

“I understand. I’m not saying you are doing anything wrong. I just wanted to let you know how NJ is here. She’s sweet and smart. Her laugh is infectious, her smile lights up the room, and if I can let you in on a little secret, she’s one of my favorites.” I whisper the last part loudly to him, I see NJ’s smile spread. I know she heard me. “May I make a suggestion?”

“Sure,” he hesitantly replies.

“Have you thought about switching shifts? Maybe working while NJ is at school. That way when she gets home, it’s not just the kids but you as well that she gets to come home to?”

“There’s more money working night. I’ve been doing it to keep a roof over our heads, but I see where you’re coming from. I will give it some thought. I appreciate you telling me all of this, Miss McGowan. It warms my heart knowing that there are good people out there willing to be there for my daughter when I can’t be. Thank you.”

“Thank you, if it wasn’t for your daughter, I probably wouldn’t have survived this place. She’s tough that one.”

“Just like her momma. I’m gonna have my hands full.” He turns to his daughter and smiles. “Come on NJ, I’ll drive you home.”

She gets up from the chair to follow him out, but not before she runs over and gives me a gigantic hug. “Thank you,” she whispers before skipping off after her dad. They hold hands as they leave.

Two weeks has passed since I spoke to NJ’s dad. I found out that he actually took my advice and changed his shift, spending more time with all of his children. His boss actually gave him a raise, too. They didn’t want to lose him as an employee, so they accommodated his wishes and promoted him to manager.

For the last two weeks, Holly has been the happiest I’ve ever seen her. She gets night terrors, and because of that, she always ends up in my room curled up next to me. It’s the best thing in the world waking up to her tiny body hugging me for protection. I love this girl. I truly do. That’s why when I got the call this morning that I was needed at the courthouse immediately, I was terrified. They told me to bring Hopscotch . . . I do.

Denise the bitch is waiting for us. Holly is excited to see her. Me, not so much.

“Hello, Miss McGowan, Holly.”

“Is everything okay?” I ask her.

“I have found a suitable foster home for Holly to live in. I’m here to extradite her from your care and place her in a home that is certified with the State. I found out that you have a criminal history, a recent one at that. I’m pretty sure you’re not the kind of person who is capable of handling a special case such as Holly’s.”

Tears creep into my eyes. Emotion fills my chest. I’m angry, sad, and afraid. I can see most of those emotions in Holly’s eyes, but then I realize the only emotion in her eyes is fear.

“No,” she screams.

“You can’t do this,” I scream. “She’s happy, well taken care of, her hair is brushed, she’s wearing a pretty dress, and most of all, I love her. Is there any way I can contest this?”

“She’s not a doll, Miss McGowan. Dressing her up and brushing her hair doesn’t mean she’s well taken care of. You’re always able to contest a ruling, but in the meantime, Holly needs to come with me.”

“No,” Holly screams when Denise takes her hand. “I want to stay with Miss Everly.”

“I’m sorry, Sweetie, but that’s not possible. We have a court hearing. Then you will meet your new foster parents. Isn’t that great?”

Holly is crying. She’s desperately trying to get away from Denise. “I need to say goodbye.”

“You can’t, Sweetie, we have an appointment,” Denise says in too sweet of a voice.

My stomach drops. I feel sick. At any minute the breakfast I made for the two of us is going to end up on the floor. I dial my mother’s number, but she doesn’t answer. I dial my dad next; he doesn’t pick up. I’m not sure what compelled me to dial his number, but I do.

“Caleb Conaway,” he answers professionally.

I’m crying so hard I can barely contain myself. A long pause goes on before he speaks again.

“Everly? Is that you?”

I sniff. “They’re taking her away, Caleb. She’s going back.”

“Where are you?” The tone of his voice softens.

“Courthouse, they are removing her from my care. They said I wasn’t capable of her handling her sensitive case . . .”

“I’ll be there in five.” He hangs up.

Five minutes later, Caleb’s running through the door. He finds me on a bench, a wad of tissue in my hand, makeup running, and a total emotional mess. He drops to his knees, taking my hands within his and forcing my eyes to look up at him.

“Where is she?”

I point to the courtroom. I can’t talk; I can barely move my arm. I’m so attached to this little girl that it feels like a part of me is missing already. Caleb kisses the top of my head and leaves me. I don’t even look up to see where he goes. Minutes pass by, then an hour. I’m still crying. I’m so scared I won’t get to hug her goodbye that I just hang around like a loser.

When it encroaches on ninety minutes, I panic. Caleb disappeared, Holly is gone, and I’m still here—waiting, hoping, desperate for some miracle to happen that will bring Holly back to me. The doors open and out strolls Caleb, Holly on his hip.

He places her on the ground and she runs for me, flinging herself into my arms. I hug her tightly, afraid that this may be the last time I ever hold her again.

“Mr. C. told them you loved me. He told them that I should live with you. That you care about me. Do you love me, Miss Everly?”

“Yes, I do, Holly. Very much so.”

“I bought you some time. The foster family never showed up. Denise was jumping the gun. She found out about your DUI and was using it as an excuse to take Holly away from you. I explained to Dean how much you care about her, and how much Holly has changed. He wants to speak with you, though.”

I look at the courtroom and grimace. The last time I was here, I lied. I swore on an oath that I would tell the truth, yet I lied anyway.