Access Denied (and other eighth grade error messages)

BOOK: Access Denied (and other eighth grade error messages)
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COPYRIGHT

Copyright © 2009 by Denise Vega

All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced,
distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written
permission of the publisher.

Little, Brown and Company

Hachette Book Group

237 Park Avenue, New York, NY 10017

Visit our website at
www.HachetteBookGroup.com

www.twitter.com/littlebrown

Little, Brown and Company is a division of Hachette Book Group, Inc.

The Little, Brown name and logo are trademarks of Hachette Book Group, Inc.

First eBook Edition: July 2009

The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental
and not intended by the author.

ISBN: 978-0-316-05251-1

Contents

COPYRIGHT

CHAPTER 1: PARENTAL MISGUIDANCE SUGGESTED

CHAPTER 2: FRIENDS IN DEED

CHAPTER 3: FIRST DAY FINE

CHAPTER 4: HILLS AND VALLEYS

CHAPTER 5: MAKING HISTORY

CHAPTER 6: ERIN PREPARIN’

CHAPTER 7: LOST AND FOUND

CHAPTER 8: FOULING OUT

CHAPTER 9: LIFE OF THE UNPARTY

CHAPTER 10: SMOKE SIGNALS

CHAPTER 11: KISS-A-BOWL

CHAPTER 12: FALLING IN LIKE

CHAPTER 13: CLUB COOL

CHAPTER 14: COMMUNICATION CONFUSIFICATION

CHAPTER 15: THE MAKE-OUT SHUFFLE

CHAPTER 16: THANK YOU FOR NOT SMOKING

CHAPTER 17: IT HAPPENS

CHAPTER 18: I AM WOMAN

CHAPTER 19: MALL RATS

CHAPTER 20: BEST FRIENDLESS

CHAPTER 21: RELATION SHIPWRECKED

CHAPTER 22: WORD FROM THE WISE

CHAPTER 23: BIG DRAMA IN LITTLE ERINVILLE

CHAPTER 24: SINGLE GIRL

CHAPTER 25: HOMEWORK HELPER

CHAPTER 26: BEYOND HOT TAMALES

CHAPTER 27: MOON OVER MASSEY

CHAPTER 28: UNSECRET CRUSH

CHAPTER 29: HOLLOW-WEENIES

CHAPTER 30: DOWN IN THE DUMPS

CHAPTER 31: ON THE NOSE

CHAPTER 32: INTERPERSONAL INTRIGUE

CHAPTER 33: BLIND DATE

CHAPTER 34: BLOWN OFF COURSE

CHAPTER 35: ERIN’S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE

CHAPTER 36: SLOPELESS IN DENVER

CHAPTER 37: UPSIDE DOWN

CHAPTER 38: CODE RED, CHERRY RED

CHAPTER 39: PARTY GIRL

CHAPTER 40: STRANDED

CHAPTER 41: OPERATION ERIN P. MASSEY

CHAPTER 42: DEAD GIRL WALKING

CHAPTER 44: SCHOOL DAZE

CHAPTER 45: MESSAGES

CHAPTER 46: CONNECTIONS

CHAPTER 47: UNDERCURRENTS AND OVERFLOWS

CHAPTER 48: RUDE AWAKENINGS

CHAPTER 49: LIFTING WEIGHTS

CHAPTER 50: BIRTHDAY PRESENCE

Also by Denise Vega:

Click Here

[to find out how i survived seventh grade]

To my niece, Jordan Rae Applehans, who shared not only her eighth grade experiences with me, but also her wisdom. Keep doing
great things, J!

This is the new and improved, totally secret & private home page of ERIN PENELOPE SWIFT. Thanks 2 computer camp, I added way
cool stuff like video & podcasts. I’m using more “lingo” now that I can finally IM and I know more of that stuff. I rock.

HOT—
—METER

#1 Mark Sacks
—the hair, the butt in shorts—need I say more?

Other cute guys will go here as I spot them…

THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT ME

I am totally over the Year of Humiliating Events (YOHE), aka seventh grade, when this personal, private, noone-will-see-but-me
blog was blasted over the school Intranet (that would be Molly Brown Middle School, aka MBMS) & every1 hated me 4 awhile.

Jillian Gail Hennessey—aka Jilly—was my BFF… then wasn’t cuz of YOHE… now is again—goes out w/ Bus Boy (Jon Lanner). I call
him Bus Boy cuz he 1st noticed her on the bus last year. Now he’s at Wash Hi w/ Chris, my big bro. Jilly & I were not on the
same track at MBMS last year but they switch it around every year so maybe this year we’ll be 2gether.

Mark, Rosie, Carla & Tyler r also buds… went 2 computer camp w/ all except Carla, who isn’t really into computers the way
we r… Carla was my locker partner last year & is hanging out w/ us more… I had crush on Tyler during camp… he liked Rosie…
Rosie liked some guy from another school… we’re done w/ all that now.

I used 2 have a major crush on Mark but no1 knew until the BN (Blog Nightmare)… then he liked Jilly… then didn’t… we actually
had a lame kiss & decided friends better—he started going out w/ Kara Simmons in July.

Serena Worthington has always been mean 2 me but last year we came 2 a truce. We’re not
friend
friends but she did come 2 my bday party & we can @ least talk & joke around a little now. I deleted the SW Hate-o-Rama/Dislike-o-Rama
page cuz of that & also cuz she doesn’t need 2 be taking up space on my website (except 4 here where I explain—2 WHO???—why
her page is history).

THINGS THAT BOTHER ME

My parents seem 2 be on my case more l8ly.

I can’t seem 2 talk 2 my mom like I used 2.

THINGS THAT JUST ARE

BOOK: Access Denied (and other eighth grade error messages)
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