Accidental Leigh (6 page)

“
Yeah, I think that would be really great!” The best part was that I really meant it. I reached in my purse and scratched around for a pen and paper. He picked up his phone and told me to tell him the number. He added me in to his contacts. I am such a dork sometimes. I didn’t even think of that! He recited his phone number and I added his number to my phone, just in case.

Chapter
Eight

Shakedown Cruise

I
had to admit, I was pretty happy with how everything had gone so far with my experiments. Lindsey now had a new roof, and she was fully entertaining herself with a duo of hotties.

As far as Kelly’s spell went, what can I say
? I only urged Florian along. I can’t help that his brand of doctor was a pecker checker. I had nothing to do with that. Besides, she was enjoying herself at Lindsey’s bacchanalia. I only needed to hear back from Kim and Jennifer.

I had known Jennifer since I was a kid. She was our next door neighbor
. She had moved up from Texas to Chicago and we hit it off immediately. She was the sweetest person I had ever met. I knew if I needed to talk to someone, she was there for me, always and unequivocally. A few years ago, she had enough of the long cold winters and moved back to Texas. She told me, she just couldn’t take all the fucking snow anymore. She also thought the people in Chicago were nuts. There were days that I missed her so much, I was tempted to fly to Texas and drag her ass back. The only thing that stopped me, was that I knew she had a life there and she truly hated all things Chicago.

I didn’t know for certain if she had gotten the cruise I had written for her, but if she did, she would be on it.
I really wanted her to have a relaxing vacation. If anyone deserved it, it was Jennifer!

I crash landed on my couch, completely wiped out from too much sun and one too many drinks. I turned the TV on and caught the
local news. Another cruise ship had broken down in the Gulf of Mexico. There was no power and no plumbing for the thousands of people stranded on it. They were gathered on the top decks and they looked more like refugees than happy or even remotely relaxed vacationers.
Oh shit, oh shit! Please don’t let Jennifer be on that ship!
I repeated the mantra over and over in my head, hoping like hell to make it come true!

The news was showing
a live video feed from a helicopter as it circled the enormous ship. I kept praying Jennifer wasn’t on that thing. They seemed to be focusing on one woman who was near the stern of the ship. She had on one of those giant sombreros that people buy for souvenirs in Acapulco or Cancun. Her arms flailed about wildly, as if she were hailing the helicopter crew. The camera zoomed in closer and there she was, my BFF Jennifer, in all of her glory. She was the woman in the sombrero. She was mouthing something. I was busily thanking God that they couldn’t pick up what she was saying. If they did, they would have had to censor the entire diatribe of Texas tinged profanity that was trailing off the back of the ship.

I shut the TV off and held my face
in my hands. I couldn’t stand seeing her there stuck in hell on that floating disaster of a ship. The whole thought made me sick. This spell wasn’t going well at all. How could I be to blame? Sure, I had gotten Jennifer on a cruise ship, with the best of intentions, I might add. It isn’t my fault that those poorly maintained, barnacle encrusted, floating coffins are engineering disasters that are just waiting to happen! Not to mention, they are teeming with every virus the tropics can contribute to the plague-ridden atmosphere and vermin infested interior. Ugh! Why did I choose to send her on a cruise of all things? I guess that’s why the warning was written under the desk. Fine, I’ll take the blame on that one too.

I started think
ing about Kim. Surely, she must have hit it big on the game show. I really couldn’t think of any negative consequences to getting a little pile of cash and a new car. I hadn’t heard from Kim in a while, so I decided to give her a call.

“Hello, Kim? It’s Leigh.”

“Hello.” Her voice was flat and listless. I cringed, wondering what could have possibly went wrong.

“Wow, you sure sound down, what’s wrong?”

“Well, not so much
down
as I am sore. Plus, I’m on muscle relaxers right now, so I feel like I’m in a scuba diving suit under a hundred feet of water.”

“Holy hell! What happened?”

“Remember, I told you about how I was practicing for that game show? It paid off. I kicked some serious ass on that game. I won twelve thousand dollars and a brand new Mustang.”

“That’s fantastic!”

“It
was
fantastic. Until I picked up the car. Did you know, that you have to pay all of the taxes and fees before you can pick up the car?”

“No, I never thought about it. I just assumed th
e winners got the keys and drove it home.”

“Nope. They subtract taxes from the cash winnings
, also. So in the end, I handed over whatever was left of the cash, plus a few thousand dollars in order to get the car.”

“Oh wow! I’
m sorry! How did you get hurt?”

“I had just picked up the car. I got on the freeway and made it only a few miles. Out of nowhere
, something had fallen and landed right on top of my car from an overpass. You’ll never guess what it was, so I’ll just tell you. It was a pile of pig guts. A truck from Wisconsin, carrying a load of pig guts fresh from a slaughterhouse had taken the curve too sharp and the trailer flipped over. I guess the entire overpass was knee deep in the gory, smelly mess. Some speeding jack wad slammed into the pile of guts and gore. That caused a whole shit load of it to fly up into the air before falling on to the highway below, just as I was coming out of the overpass. It was an instant shock because I never saw it coming, and I had no idea what it was. One second I was a happy camper thrilled with my new car and the next- blood and guts everywhere.”

“Oh
my God!”

“Yeah, I said a whole lot
more than oh my God! Imagine, Leigh, suddenly your windshield gets slammed by a pile of bloody, smelly guts out of nowhere. I can’t even begin to describe the shock I was in. It scared the shit out of me. I thought I killed someone! I don’t even know what happened. I think I slammed on the brakes out of instinct. My brand new Mustang! I got hit from behind and shoved right into the barrier along the side of the highway. My poor, beautiful, brand new Mustang was totaled. Plus, I got whiplash and a few sprains.”

“
Wow. I am so sorry, even sorrier than you know.”

“The
real kick in the teeth is the fact that I didn’t even get insurance on it. Of course the guy that hit me from behind didn’t have any insurance either. Either way, I’m completely screwed because I junked my old car. I ended up winning the whole game show, but I am out about two thousand bucks, my old car, and a sore neck. I would have been better off, had I never gone on the show to begin with.”

My phone was making a noise to notify me
of an incoming call. I told Kim that I was sorry, once more, and then tried to catch the other call. I clicked over a moment too late and nobody was there. The missed call notice showed that Kelly had called. There was a voicemail from her and I played it back. All I heard was a bunch of screaming in the background. I was terrified that something had happened. I mean really? How could I not be, after what happened to Jennifer and Kim? I tried calling her back several times with no luck. I tried Lindsey’s number. No luck. I wondered if Hunter would have the number to the other roofers. Maybe he could call them and see what was going on. I quickly dialed his number with the hope that he didn’t think I was a raving lunatic.

“
Hunter? Hi, it’s Leigh. You gave me a ride home earlier.”

“H
i! I was just thinking about you.”

Awe, he was thinking about me. I’d have to hold
on to that thought for later. Thanks to me, my friends could be in real trouble.

“Umm
, that’s great, but I think there’s a problem over at my friend Lindsey’s house, where you guys were working today. I got a voicemail from her, but it was just- well, it sounded a lot like screaming. I tried calling back to both her and Kelly, but there was no answer on either of their phones. Normally, I would drive over there and check things out, but I don’t have my car here with me and I’m really worried. I don’t know those guys, and the girls were doing a lot of drinking. How well do you know them?”

I didn’t want
to tell him what a shitty witch I was, or what was going on with all of my experiments. I’m not even going to mention, how I had inadvertently placed all of my friends and family into disastrous scenarios. I wanted him to like me, not run away screaming!

“Oh, I seriously doubt there would be a problem. I’ve worked with
Luke and Derek long enough to know that they are good guys. They’re both related to the owner of the roofing company, too. I have their numbers, let me make a few calls and I’ll call you right back.”

“OK. Thanks
, Hunter.”

I paced around the living room
in an attempt to calm my nerves. Luna came up to me and was being unusually sweet. She rubbed her tail against the side of my leg and then jumped up onto my writing desk. It was almost as if she wanted me to write.

“
Sorry, Luna. I don’t have anything left to write about tonight.” After hearing about all of the disasters I caused, there was no way that I was going to write anymore until I found out what the hell was going on!

I had been tempted earlier to write a nice date for
Hunter and me, but with the way things are going, who knows what kind of disaster would await us. Besides, I genuinely liked him. I wanted to see if a natural relationship could develop on its own. You know, the kind with zero supernatural influence or interference!

My phone rang.
Thankfully, it was Hunter calling me back. I had started to wear a hole in my carpet from pacing back and forth. I was completely sick with worry.

“Well, no answer
from any of them. I’m going to head over to Lindsey’s place and see for myself what’s going on. They probably aren’t even there anymore, but I’d rather be safe than sorry. Would you mind coming along, so it doesn’t seem too weird for me to be showing up alone at this hour? The last thing I want to do is end up getting hauled into the police station for a misunderstanding.”

“Sure. How long before you get here?”

“I’ll be there in about ten minutes or so. I’ll see you then.”

I was
beyond grateful for Hunter. My car was still sitting over at Lindsey’s. Sure, I suppose that I could have called the police, but I really didn’t have anything to go on. I really didn’t want to cause any trouble for anyone. What was I going to tell them? I cast a few less than fortunate magic spells that went awry on my other friends. Now I’m worried about these two because of an odd voicemail and a lot of alcohol? They’d lock me up quicker than I could blink. Just for the record, my idea of a relaxing vacation had nothing to do with padded walls and a straitjacket! That is unless Vlad could be there with me… oh wait, that bitch killed him!

I quickly
threw on a pair of shorts, a tank top, and my favorite sandals. By the time I was ready, Hunter was knocking at the door. I couldn’t help but notice how nice he looked, now that he had showered and changed. Maybe I didn’t appreciate the full quality of his hunkiness in my drunken stupor earlier in the day, but now- whew, I appreciated! The spark was definitely a little more than ignited. I felt like my body might internally combust from the smile he sent my way.

I hadn’t noticed that his eyes were the lightest, most amazing shade of blue.
His blonde, thick hair was begging for my fingers to run through it while he did naughty things to me. His full pouty lips were absolutely made for sin. Suddenly, I remembered the way he looked with his shirt off on Lindsey’s roof. Fuck me, I literally started to drool.

When I was finally done making an ass
of myself and checking Hunter out, we headed for his truck. I had to give him brownie points for trying not to laugh at my not so discreet ogling.

We zipped over to
Lindsey’s and knocked on her front door. There was no answer. We could hear the music blaring loudly from inside. It sounded like her tiny home had been transformed into a bar. We made our way to the back of the house and found the door unlocked. Hunter led the way. The kitchen was empty, but when we got to the living room, the scene was pretty much what I had envisioned.

“Whoohoo! Two more for strip poker!” Yelled
a very topless and very drunk Kelly.

Lindsey
still had both parts of her swimsuit on, but the guys were down to their underwear. One of them was standing in front of Lindsey. I guessed that he must have been the loser of that hand, since Lindsey was slowly tugging at the waist band of his underwear, in a vain attempt to strip them off. The guy was quite drunk and trying to dance in front of her.

“Well,
Hunter what do we do? Should we leave them? I mean, they’re all adults here and from the looks of it, quite consenting.” I was at a complete loss for words. I wanted to see if I could keep Hunter’s attention long enough to hold a conversation as Kelly’s massive milkers bounced freely around the room. Let’s face it, she definitely did
NOT
get passed over in the boob department. If there was anything on my body that I would have wished differently, it was to have Kelly’s boobs, instead of my own. Hers were spectacular! This was an unexpected test for Hunter. I hope he passed with flying colors.