Accidentally Wolf (38 page)

“
Right, so I went to Vlad to ask that he wipe the guy
’
s mind of the memory—
”
he stopped when I held up my hand.

“
Riley, you just admitted to me that you
and
Vlad broke the law,
”
I growled.
“
You do understand I work for the FBI, right?
”

“
Yeah, but it
’
s not fair,
”
he answered softly.
“
I was already a nurse when I was turned in
to a werewolf. It wasn
’
t my fault and it didn
’
t change the way I did my job. I
’
m not eating the humans that come in
to the hospital, Sera. I love being a nurse.
”

“
Okay, but if you live with me and are with me, no more breaking the law.
”
What was I supposed to say? He was right but that didn
’
t change the fact that wiping a human mind
was
against the law.

“
I promise. I don
’
t even have a speeding ticket. I was desperate and scared. Being a nurse is all I know.
”
His eyes pleaded for me to understand.

“
So Vlad wiped the guy
’
s mind and what, said you had to perform tonight?
”
I still didn
’
t understand how one led to the other.

“
No, I offered,
”
he answered, wiggling his eyebrows at me
impishly
.
“
He gave me many options on how to repay the favor. Everything
from
working at one of his clubs as a bartender for a week to
helping out
the next time he had a party. When he told me you were the guest of honor tonight and what was going on
,
I wanted to be there in case you needed back
-
up. The sex and being a waiter in a tiny thong was just the icing on the cake.
”

“
You were seducing me,
”
I gasped, my eyes going wide.
“
You shit!
”

“
Absolutely,
”
he
purred
in a deep, husky voice that had me shivering in lust.
“
There was no way I could plan this was how things were going
to go,
but I thought if maybe you saw me in a sexual way right in front of you that you wouldn
’
t push me away.
”

I should have been annoyed that he
’
d planned this and tried to push himself in
to my bed
,
but I couldn
’
t help but be flattered. I don
’
t think any man had ever gone to such lengths to try and get my attention. I shook my head in disbelief.

“
Does it bother you that I
’
m bisexual?
”
h
e asked quietly.

Of all the questions I had expected him to ask, that wasn
’
t one of them.
“
No, why would it?
”

“
You seemed upset when you saw me onstage,
”
he answered with a shrug as he glanced down at his hands.

“
Riley, I
’
ve never even been to a strip club before,
”
I admitted with a blush.
“
It wasn
’
t that you were with another man but that I felt as if I was invading something private. I had just as much trouble watching the other couple, or Alena and Zeno, or Vlad with the waitress. I
’
m just not that open about sex.
”

“
But it felt good when you were tonight, right? You didn
’
t regret what we did? I mean the sex, not the whole sirening me thing.
”

I thought about that for a moment, the rhythmic humming of the car driving along the expressway easing some of the tension from me given the topic.
“
It felt fantastic. Even the part where my
s
iren came out to play. The freedom and power was enthralling in a way I
’
m not sure I can explain. I
’
ve been so busy working on hiding my powers and aura
that
just letting it all go and enjoying myself was exhilarating.
”

“
Okay, good. I don
’
t mean to question your motives
,
but you can understand why I needed to know what was going on in your head about what happened.
”
I nodded, getting his point.
“
But part of what happened tonight wasn
’
t about just your
s
iren, Sera. Your wolf wouldn
’
t have been happy watching me have sex if you saw me as yours either. That was something I was counting on after what happened in your apartment and the fact that there
’
s no other wolf in your life.
”

“
Tristan said that if I
’
d never been in
to public sex or if the idea had freaked me out before that it wouldn
’
t anymore now that I
’
m a wolf. He was right. The human in me was embarrassed by what was going on around me and wanted to melt in
to the floor. But my wolf was ready to jump right in
to the mix.
”

“
Wolves, even more than most paranormals or other shifters, are very sexual creatures. Hell, there are clubs to deal with our needs. Especially during the full moon when everything is heightened, including our lust. I
’
ll take you sometime and you can see how free shifters are to express their needs and do what they want no matter if people are watching. Half the thrill is that people
are
watching.
”

“
Maybe once I get a little bit more adjusted to this world
.
”
I chuckle
d
. The idea of walking in
to a sex club or
a
no rules kind of club both thrilled me and scared the shit out of me. I wasn
’
t sure which was more
prominent,
but
,
until I knew it thrilled me more than frightened me
,
I wouldn
’
t be going.

“
Fair enough,
”
Riley agreed with a nod. I turned back in my seat, glancing at Tristan as I did. He was still frowning as we pulled in
to my apartment complex. Either he realized pushing me wouldn
’
t help his case or he was too upset to talk.

As bitchy as it ma
y sound,
I was just glad that I had a few moments to breath
e
and get some of my questions answered without feeling pressure from someone to talk or deal with what was going on. Sometimes I just needed time to process.

We got out of the car when he parked and headed upstairs. Once we were in the apartment and I showed Riley the bedroom, I realized I had too much on my mind to sleep. I explained that to Riley as I changed clothes and he said he understood but was still going to bed. I gave him a quick kiss and closed the door behind me as I stepped in
to the hallway.

I found Tristan sitting on the couch in the living room looking so despondent
as he stared blankly at the floor
that I at least knew we had to talk a little. Maybe not resolve everything tonight
,
but I couldn
’
t just leave him hurting like this.

“
Have I lost you forever?
”
h
e asked
quietly
before I could
even open my mouth to
speak, not looking up to meet my gaze.

“
I don
’
t think so,
”
I answered honestly.
“
You hurt me, Tristan. And while I don
’
t agree really with how my
s
iren handled it, I wanted the revenge
,
too. I might have just decked you
,
but yeah, I wanted you to feel the pain I was
in
.
”

“
I really didn
’
t mean you when I said she was evil, Sera,
”
he whispered,
finally
raising his head and looking at me
, the sadness prominent in his eyes.
“
While I didn
’
t understand that your
s
iren was almost a different entity as your wolf is, I just meant that part of you. I know I snapped at you and didn
’
t explain myself the right way
,
but I was freaked out. She wanted to take something important away from Riley and it made me worry that I could be next. All I kept thinking was if I pissed you off you might make me promise never to drink blood again.
”

“
Okay, I can see how you didn
’
t make the distinction the right way
,
but it still felt like a betrayal, Tristan,
”
I
hedged
, thinking about each word before I spoke.
“
This wasn
’
t the first time I haven
’
t felt as if you were on my side. And this time you hurt me in front of people. The whole situation was horrid
,
but to have it play out in front of strangers when the one person that should have been my ally wasn
’
t with me was just the knife in the back.
”

“
And for that I am truly sorry. Can you see how
,
while I wasn
’
t trying to make what happened about me
,
that my fear was valid?
”

“
Yes, I can. But fear is one thing
.
M
aking me feel lik
e a villain isn
’
t something I expect
or will put up with from someone in my life especially not from the man sharing my bed.
”

“
I
’
ll make it up to you,
”
he
whispered tenderly
, his voice full of emotion. In a flash he was kneeling before me, his face buried in my stomach as he wrapped his arms around my waist.
“
Whatever is going on, however this sirening thing works, I need you, Sera. The fear and despair at the idea of losing you is debilitating. All I keep thinking about is that I would do
anything
for you not to send me away.
”

“
But is that because you care for me or because I
’
m your sovereign or that I
’
m a
s
iren and Alena said being with me is almost like a drug?
”

“
I asked myself the same question
,
and I think it
’
s all three,
”
he answered, tilting his head up so he could see my face.
“
I
’
ve always felt the need to please my masters before and be in their good graces, though not in a sexual manner. But I care about the woman and person you are, Sera. There is something magical between us and I
’
m not speaking of your power. Then there
’
s also this feeling that something might die inside of me if you cast me from your bed. I can
’
t explain it any better than that
,
but I am being completely honest with you.
”

“
I appreciate your honesty, Tristan. And I did see that it was you sitting up with Riley when I got back.
”