Across the Miles (The Not So Bad Boys of Rock #1) (21 page)

After that initial chat with Donnie, he hadn’t said much else about my long distance relationship. I think he was giving me time and space to figure things out. For me, being away from Sebastian physically had been hard, but it wasn’t the hardest part, the hardest for me was the emotional absence. Being with him filled a void, partly because being with him also included his family, and that was something I craved desperately.

When I arrived home
that evening, I walked through
the door and found a package sitting on the kitchen counter. The day after I returned from California I had a card in the mail, from Sebastian, thanking me for our time together and bringing him back to life. That card now had pride of place on my beside table, and I re-read it every night before falling asleep. Then, four days later I woke to someone knocking on the door, when I opened it I found a young girl standing there holding a large cup of coffee from my favorite coffee shop downtown, I didn’t even know they delivered. I found out later that they normally don’t, but when he told them who he was they bent over backwards to accommodate him, since that day he has been waking me up with my favorite brew every morning. Yesterday’s cup cozy included a handwritten note.

“
Even though I am not there with you, I want you to drink this coffee and imagine that we are together, because, in my head and my heart, you never left. Love, Sebastian.”

I carried the package to my room and set it on the end of the bed. I changed my clothes and settled down on my comforter with the box on my lap, I gave it a careful shake, I didn’t hear anything breakable inside, and I removed the strip of tape that sealed it shut. When I moved the tissue paper aside I found two more boxes, both individually gift wrapped. I tore into the first one, not knowing what to expect, and found a small card with a handwritten note.

“I saw these and couldn’t help but smile because they reminded me of our first walk on the beach together. Wishing you were here to take that walk with me again. Love, Sebastian.”

Inside the box were three beautifully colored seashells, just like the ones we had collected and placed on his mantel. I couldn’t help but smile at that memory. I set the first box aside and took out the remaining one, tearing
open the wrapping, and finding one more note.

“Since I couldn’t bring you to the beach, I thought I would bring the beach to you. Love Always, S.”

I removed the tissue paper and discovered an intricately designed glass bottle that had been filled with sand from the Santa Monica beach, right outside his home. I held the bottle close to my chest and cried, not tears of sadness, but tears of great joy and happiness. For the first time in two weeks, I felt close to him, almost as if the bottle contained a small piece of him within it. I opened it up and took a deep breath, it reminded me of him; he smelled like the beach, a heady combination of salty ocean air and suntan lotion. I pulled out my phone and sent him a text.

Me: I had a little surprise waiting for me when I got home tonight.

Sebastian: Oh yeah? Sounds like someone was thinking of you.

Me: It appears to me like someone wanted me to think of them also

Sebastian: Did it work?

Me: Like a charm.

Sebastian: My lucky charm

Me: Always.

Sebastian: Forever.

Me: I loved them both, seriously, thank you for doing that. Having them helps me feel as if a small part of you is here with me.

Sebastian: Soon baby. And, you’re welcome; it’s always my pleasure to bring a smile to your beautiful face. I miss that face.

Me: This face misses you too.
(I sent a picture of me texting him).

Sebastian: I love you.
(He sent a picture of him
texting me back, blowing me a kiss).

Me: Love you too baby. Goodnight.

Sebastian: Dream about me.

Me: I always do.

CHAPTER TWENTY

Sebastian~

“Come on Sebastian, let’s go out and do something man, you can’t sit in this house forever waiting for her to call, you’ve got to live a little. Surely she doesn’t expect you to be a hermit.” Dek had been trying to get me to hang out with him for the past few weeks and each time I had turned him down with some lame excuse, but he and I both knew the reason I didn’t want to go out, he had just made that crystal clear.

“I’m not sitting around waiting for her call, and she doesn’t expect me to either. I just haven’t felt like going out, I’ve grown quite fond of my sofa, the pillow on it still smells like her.” Dek rolled his eyes and looked up at the ceiling.

“Man, don’t make me do another intervention,” he cautioned.

“That’s not what this is, I just miss her, that’s all. It’s hard to explain Dek, when she was here she filled a hole in my heart that I hadn’t even realized was there. I liked
having someone around that laughed with me, and she danced with me; we could just hang out together on the floor, and that simple act meant everything. When she was with me, everything seemed to fall into place. And, now that she’s gone,” I turned away, looking out the window at a sailboat in the distance, “I feel that emptiness again, and I don’t like it.”

“Look, I’m really sorry that this is tearing you up inside, I get it, I honestly do. You’re in love with her, and I think that is fantastic, but she isn’t here, and you hanging out in this house just to smell a pillow or reminisce isn’t exactly healthy buddy. Why don’t you give her a call and then you and I can go out and grab a bite to eat and maybe play a game of pool or go night surfing or something off the wall like that? Does that sound good? We could even catch a movie if you like. I just think you need to get out of the house. The only time you’ve left has been to go to the studio or your Mom’s on Sunday,” Dek pleaded.

“I know, you’re right, this isn’t healthy. Give me a few minutes, and I’ll give her a call, she may be at work so I might just have to leave a quick message.” I turned to head to my room for some privacy, and then I turned back when I’d made it halfway down the hall. “Hey, thanks, man, I appreciate your concern.”

“No problem, that’s what I do best, taking care of you,” he winked, then sat down on the sofa to wait while I called Brooke.

The phone rang five times, and I was just getting ready to listen to her outgoing message on her voicemail when I heard her pick up the phone, sounding out of breath.

“Hi baby,” she smiled, well, I don’t know for sure if she was actually smiling, but the tone of her voice made it sound as if she were.

“Hey, it’s so good to hear your voice, I haven’t talked to you in a few days. How are things?”

“Oh, I know, I’m sorry about that. We’ve been busy at work and I’ve been putting in crazy hours because we are into wedding season, and everyone wants to hold their rehearsal dinner at our restaurant, plus I’ve been doing some catering on the side to make extra money.”

“You need money? Babe, if you need extra money I will gladly help you out.” The phone went silent, and it dawned on me that I had probably crossed an invisible line.

“I don’t want your money Sebastian; I can make a way for myself. Besides, I like being able to do jobs on the side, it gives me extra spending money, and I am saving for something special. Don’t worry about me, I can take care of myself.”

“I didn’t mean it like that, I just don’t want you working too hard when I can help you out if you ever need it. That’s all I meant, honest. I know you are very capable of doing things on your own, I just want you to know that I’m here if you need me.” I heard a soft sigh on the other end.

“Okay, I’ll take that into consideration. Thank you though, I do appreciate the offer.”

“So, tell me about these catering jobs.” For the next ten minutes I listened as she shared all about the large events that she had cooked for. I couldn’t imagine overseeing all of the tasks that she was responsible for, she amazed me with her abilities. Her organizational skills and attention to detail were beyond impressive, I had no doubt that the restaurant in L.A. was going to be calling on her once the owner got back to town, and that thought brought a smile to my face.

“What are you up to this evening? Anything exciting
planned?” she asked.

“Dek is here, and he invited me to go out with him, I think we might grab dinner and play some pool.” I wanted to tell her that I couldn’t stand the thought of leaving the house now that she had gone, but I didn’t want to sound weak. A small part of me wondered how on earth she managed to carry on with her day to day life without me in it. I wanted her to tell me her secret so that maybe I could do it too.

“That sounds great sweetie; it’s good for you to get out of the house. Keeping busy is what helps me get through the day, if I stayed here all day I would go out of my mind wondering what you were up to,” she encouraged.

“You’re having a hard time too?”

“Oh yeah, I think about you all the time, it’s very hard.”

“What kinds of things do you think about?”

“Oh, you know, I think about how soft and warm your lips are, how I love it when you bury your nose in my hair and whisper in my ear, and I miss how great you smell when you hold me in your arms. I remember the way your piercing tickles my skin when you kiss me. But I really miss your hugs, I think that’s the hardest thing to go without,” she whispered.

“I miss all of those things too, hell, Dek just gave me a hard time because I spend most of my time in the living room with my nose pressed into a pillow that still smells like you. We’ll get to do all of those things again soon, I promise.”

“That’s the very thought that gets me through each day, knowing that soon I will be in your arms again. I don’t know exactly when, but I do know it will happen. Go out and have some fun, just not too much fun, I
don’t want some other girl stealing your heart,” she giggled.

“No chance in hell babe, you already stole it, and I don’t want it back, I only want you back in my arms. Call me later?”

“You know I will. Bye.” She hung up the phone, and I couldn’t help but laugh, she had a way of putting me at ease, even from far away.

“So, are you through with your mushy phone call?” Dek asked, waltzing into the room with his arms crossed over his chest.

“You heard all that?” I winced.

“Every last sappy bit, bro’, since when did you get so soft? What am I going to do with you?” He ruffled my hair and gave me a slap on the back. “Come on tough guy, let’s go get some food, I’m starving.”

“You know, it kind of breaks my heart that you would eavesdrop on me like that,” I responded playfully.

“I thought you didn’t have a heart anymore, it was stolen, remember?” he teased.

“Shuddup.”

We ended up eating
dinner and catching a movie; the thought of hanging out in a bar playing pool didn’t seem like the best idea, given the state of mind I had been in lately. It felt good to be out with a friend, my best friend, and just cut loose. We talked about Brooke for a bit, but mostly, we just talked about the typical guy stuff. While we were in the restaurant a few fans spotted us and politely asked for an autograph, of course there was a lot of flirting on the girls part, and Dek always encouraged it by flirting back. I tried to remain neutral, the old me, before detox, would have been right there with him, trying to score a little action, but not tonight. We sat through the movie, a new Sylvester Stallon action-packed
production, and it felt good to get lost in the plot, it was a great way to spend two hours and not mope about Brooke being gone. When I got back home, I gave her a call.

“Hey handsome,” she answered, her voice sounded incredibly sexy at night. “Did you have a good time with Dek?”

“Yeah,” I yawned quietly, “We just had dinner and went to a movie.”

“Isn’t it hard to go out in public like that? I didn’t realize that rock stars could go to movies in public, don’t you get hounded?” she asked innocently.